how do i get a girlfriend? asking for a friend.

[enya]

the RELATIONSHIP ADVICE meme RULES ○ In the subject line, pithily summarize any issues your character may have in their relationship/with their canon love interest/ship partner/love life. Surely there's some trouble in paradise? ○ Others will give advice on how to be luckier in love, whether to pursue someone or not...or maybe, just maybe, if it's time to call it quits with someone (DTMFA).

Comments

The witch that lives in my head and who sometimes takes over my body keeps threatening to kill [...]

[exhumings]

anyone I'm romantically interested in. What can I do to convince her to stop?

[itmeanstruth]

Ever thought of asking her out? Maybe she wants to have a romantic relationship with you, but doesn't know how to bring it up.

Keep falling for coworkers/fellow heroes in general, don't have time to socialize in other circles

[lipidassets]

Is there any way that mixin' romance with work can... y'know, work?

[trapidation]

Absolutely not. Give it up before it ruins your professional life.

I'm a fiery, passionate guy, what's a good date idea for cool, calm people?

[kafkaiju]

[ By coincidence, this applies to canon and meme life. ]

[006]

Are you going to ask the commander out..?

[sisterimperator]

That just sounds like you'd be bored.

You don't just invite someone to jerk off in your bathroom in someone else's house if you're not...

[moneycancer]

... at least slightly into it, right? Asking for a friend. Am I? Maybe. You don't know.

[below]

Might be their thing. But it might be a way of saying they'd only fuck you out of pity.

[rijksmuseum]

[absolutely chilling silence for a time.

then:]

Not necessarily. It may be a form of objectification, disdain, or pity. It's reliant on circumstance.

needs help dating again after a REALLY terrible breakup

[orthodoxies]

[tl,dr: detective whose significant other/co-worker was a dirty cop and now she's out for revenge -- bringing her back after a super-long rp break, so appreciate literally anyone who wants to hang out with her. really, she needs to move on or anyone who wants to move on with her.]

[reginamariposa]

Ooof, I feel you, sister. Do you feel ready to get on the horse again, so to speak, or...are you just wanting something more?

Jean Grey/Phoenix + Marvel Comics

[powerincarnate]

I keep killing him.

[devilishkouhai]

[ Mun put that here for BB, BB did not put that there for BB. ]

[dreadpiratecaptain]

...hm? Does that mean one of you isn't into it?

[He smirks, raising an eyebrow and looking her over appraisingly. She didn't say it's death by snu-snu but he doesn't mind jumping to conclusions.]

Maybe a safe word, if it's a problem? Or someone with a little more stamina.

How to deal with overly serious people/crybabies who cry at jokes?

[scriptwriter]

I'm just asking for a friend! Look, I get that humor is subjective and all... But this person keeps looking like an asshole or made into one whenever they start laughing at the person they like.

[...]

Has our society become so rigid that we can't poke fun at the littlest of things anymore?

I don't know how not to feel trapped in anything even slightly resembling a relationship.

[cafeultra]

[ But she also isn't sure if she really wants to change that. ]

[firstimpression]

Sounds like you should probably just avoid romantic relationships then?

Or go with non exclusive ones, plenty of people I know choose that route.

Meioh Setsuna/Sailor Pluto | Sailormoon

[puruuto]

[distant_winds]

Huh? You need advice on something, what's up?

Or are you offering advice?

My girlfriend wants me to stop doing mercenary work, but I don’t have another way to support us.

[kineticaspis]

[oprorsk_sode]

My boyfriend was like this with my job at first. I invited him along but... I don't know that a mercenary job would work that way.

Help, my parents figured out the person I’m dating isn’t entirely human…

[itmeanstruth]

Not sure what closet I’m coming out of, but it’s filled with some really eccentric clothing…

[hungercity_hellhound]

How are they taking it?

I have never seen a closet as eccentric as those two twins have.

I've been with the same person for nearly 20 years

[magicandmight]

How do I propose without it looking like I've waited too long?

[hooked_on_kaballin]

20 years?

[Impressed whistle.]

Dude, just go for it. I don't think they'll say no at this point.