bakerstreet | The Random Porn Scenario Meme

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The Random Porn Scenario Meme

The Random (Porn) Scenario Meme 2.0

The Rules
1. Character A: Post to the meme and wait for replies. Name|Series|Prefs
2. Character B: Go to the RNG and roll some numbers. Type first, and then go to that category and roll again.
3. Multiple Lady Gaga/Ke$ha references go here.

Note: If someone is uncomfortable and tells you to back off, please do so. If you are uncomfortable, please tell the other mun. If all else fails, just stop tagging.

Please listen to preferences as well.

Thank you.

Type Of Porn
1. Regular
2. Public
3. Hardcore
4. Roleplaying
5. Toys
6. Fail
7. Misc.

Regular
1. First time - One or Both of you are virgins.
2. Wedding Night - You've been waiting for this night forever. Or maybe not.
3. Masturbation - Put some porn on, get your hand ready, and have a good night with a friend.
4. Blow jobs - Sucky sucky, bucky bucky.
5. Penetrative - There's parking in the rear, or drive through the front.
6. Make up Sex - You did something wrong, and you're going to give this person the best night of their lives.
7. Up against the wall - You couldn't wait when they came in the door.
8. In the shower - Fun in the tub is something worth trying at least once.
9. Get away - You're on a romantic get away. Beach? Some snazzy motel? Whatever you'd like!
10. Been awhile - It's been awhile since you've sene each other, so it's time to make up for lost time!
11. Break up sex - This isn't make up sex, it's goodbye sex!
12. Hook up - You don't really love each other, but you are horny and neither of you is bad looking, so...
13. The big night - You've been dating forever (or maybe not!) and it's time to take the next step!
14. Doggy style - Sex from behind.
15. Frottage - You don't always need to penetrate! Sometimes grinding on each other is more than enough.
16. Spooning - Sex while you spoon... perfect way to start the morning!
17. Couch - Fooling around on the couch!
18. Massage and maybe something more - You want to pamper your lover tonight!
19. Candlelit - Wine, soft music, candlelights... maybe there was even a trail leading to the bedroom! Ultimate cheese.
20. Pick your own - Maybe there's something I forgot, or maybe you want to do multiples. Roll a twenty, and go for it.

Public
1. At school - Under the bleachers, in the classroom, in the bathroom... maybe even on the principal's desk.
2. Amusement Park - You ran out of things to do? There's privacy on the ferris wheel.
3. In the park - Always a fun time, just stay away from the washrooms.
4. At the mall - Changing rooms = Happy Sexy Time
5. The sex store - How people are not caught having sex in here sometimes, is beyond me
6. Someone else's home - You so dirty. Hope they don't catch... or maybe you do.
10. Hospital - In the bed, in the restroom, maybe you just need a release from anxious waiting for news on that loved one!
11. In the car - The backseat and foggy windows, over the hood... maybe the engine's still going for that extra thrill!
12. In the woods - Camping or on a hike, you though that tree looked mighty friendly.
13. In the restroom - You couldn't wait to get out of the restaurant or wherever you are, so a stall will just have to do.
14. Under the table - Teasing your lover (or being teased in return!) under the table at a restaurant. Hands, mouth, whatever you can think of.
15. Elevator - Getting off while you're going up, you just can't wait and you don't care who might catch you.
16. Back of the club - You can't wait until you get out of this club to get your hands on each other...
17. At a concert - You don't want to miss the show, but you also don't want to pass up the chance to get a little more intimate either.
18. Against a window - Up against a window where anyone looking could see...
19. Putting on a show - Sex in front of people. Maybe you were really drunk at the bar or someone paid for it... maybe you just want to do it for the thrill.
20. Pick your own - Maybe there's something I forgot, or maybe you want to do multiples. Roll a twenty, and go for it.

Hardcore
1. Non-Con - They say no, you'll make them say yes.
2. Dub-Con - They may have said yes, but it's going to happen anyways.
3. Bondage - Super tight, hanging from things, unable to move, really hot.
4. Fisting - One, two, three, four, five... and then one again.
5. Blood Play - Red is a really lucky color... not for someone.
6. Power Play - Someone is in charge, and will make sure that the other person isn't. People in power are crazy.
10. cock & ball/pussy torture. Clothes pins, hitting, and anything else you can imagine that can make you hurt oh-so-good.
11. Flogging - Spanking, whipping, flogging, and whatever else you can think of. Someone's been naughty.
12. Orgasm denial - They might want to so bad, beg and plead, but you're not going to let the come yet. Or maybe not at all.
13. Forced orgasms - Either made to come multiple times or roughly brought to orgasm despite any discomfort.
14. Double penetration - Either in two separate holes or the same one. It could be two toys, a penis and a toy, two penises... or the combinations are endless! Either way, you're going to be stuffed full.
15. Ice play - Ice cubes on the skin or even inside to cool you down.
16. Wax play - Wax from candles poured over the skin. Doesn't it burn so good?
17. Fighting - It's like Fight Club... only it ends in dirty, dirty sex.
18. Electrosex - Electrical stimulation to nerves for sexual stimulation, in particular the genitals and nipples.
19. Sensory deprivation - it can make orgasms even stronger!
20. Pick your own - Maybe there's something I forgot, or maybe you want to do multiples. Roll a twenty, and go for it.

Roleplay
1. Teacher and Student - Someone needs a better grade.
2. Doctor and Patient - Time to give someone the best bedside treatment they can.
3. Cop and Criminal - Those handcuffs are finally coming in handy.
4. Master and Servant - Those servants have to serve someone. A housewife and butler, rich man and maid... those outfits are hot.
5. Strangers - Oh, you've never met this hot, delicious, naked stranger. Maybe it's time to get acquainted.
6. Enemies - Oh I hate you! Oh but I'll have sex with you anyways!
10. Cowboys - Or cowgirls. Yee-haw!
11. Fireman - or woman. Oh, you're going to be putting out a fire, alright.
12. Pizzaboy - They don't have the money to pay, but you accept other forms of payment, thankfully.
13. Good guy and bad guy - Maybe they're trying to take over the world and the only way to stop the is through hot sex.
14. Vampire and victim - You're going to drink their blood... only probably not.
15. Prostitute - They paid for you.
16. Incest - parent or sibling kink? Go ahead and play it out.
17. Priest - They need to confess to you...
18. Kidnapper - Uh-oh, they got you now! What ever will they do to you?
19. Shy virgin - You're a shy virgin but don't worry, they'll teach you the ropes!
20. Pick your own - Maybe there's something I forgot, or maybe you want to do multiples. Roll a twenty, and go for it.

Toys
1. Dildo - Simple, easy to use, and goes in any proper hole.
2. Vibrator - Tiny and portable, it goes everywhere... and works everywhere.
3. Fleshlight - It's like a hole... but not exactly.
4. Strap-on - Girl or guy. Maybe you're wanting one, or wanting a longer one.
5. Cock Ring - Basically, a trolling way to make sure someone can't finish what they started.
6. Anal Beads/Ben Wa Balls - Maybe a dildo isn't good enough. These toys are balls of fun.
10. Fucking machines - Machines with one purpose only, to fuck you senseless. They usually have a dildo attached and speed controls.
11. unusual objects - Cucumbers, candles, or even electric toothbrushes!
12. Clamps - Nipples, labia, clit, penis, there's not limit to what can be clamped in a sexy way!
13. Playing with danger - The handle of a knife, a gun, it's time to walk on the wild side!
14. Dolls - They make some awfully realistic dolls...
15. Sex swing - A suspended seat made specifically for sex.
16. Water - A detachable shower head, jets in a tub, there are a lot of way to be stimulated!
17. Pumps - Pumps can go over the nipples, clit, or on the penis and create a very stimulating amount of suction.
18. Anal plugs - They vibrate, stimulate, or just keep you ready for fun later.
19. Speculum - Want a look inside?
20. Pick your own - Maybe there's something I forgot, or maybe you want to do multiples. Roll a twenty, and go for it.

Fail
1. Can't get it up - For some reason, you can't get hard. Or, if you're a girl, you're just not getting wet.
2. Not in the mood - You don't know what it is, sex just isn't interesting you tonight.
3. Cramp! - Ow, nothing ruins a mood like an ill timed cramp somewhere!
4. Caught - You just got caught by someone and the reaction isn't a good one!
5. You called me what - Dirty talk got out of hand and the other went a step too far!
6. Distraction - You're just distracted by the phone or the TV or a huge project you've got coming up...
10. It's not you - or yeah, maybe it is. You're just not attracted to the other person anymore (or maybe you never were!)
11. Can't get there - Maybe it's the position or something else, but you just can't get to the big finish, no matter how hard you try. Your partner might not have any problem.
12. Injury - Fell and hit your head, knocked something off on you... somehow you injured yourself!
13. Missing item - Where's the lube? The condoms? Ahh, how can we do this?
14. It broke - Uh-oh. The condom just broke...
15. Gross - Your partner got you to do something or suggested something you're just really not into...
16. Too drunk - Whiskey sounded like fun, but now it's having ill effects on your sex life.
17. Five seconds isn't bad! - You came embarrassingly fast...
18. Guilty - You did something wrong, went behind your lover's back, cheated, or something.
19. I'm fine, really - Or not. You're actually injured, but you don't want your lover to see and they definitely would if you took off any clothes.
20. Pick your own - Maybe there's something I forgot, or maybe you want to do multiples. Roll a twenty, and go for it.

Misc.
1. Dirty talk - Most people like a little dirty talk... either you've determined to get your lover off with dirty talk alone or you're just getting them in the mood
2. Threesome - Two is fun, three is better. It's fine to play the third person as an NPC if you don't have a third partner.
3. Can we please... - Can we please have a threesome/try this position/do this? Your lover is trying to convince you to spice things up!
4. Phone sex - You want to get your lover off, but you're not right there with them.
5. Dirty pictures/video - You're making a video or taking some sexy pictures for a private collection.
6. Looking at/Watching porn - Enjoying porn together can bring you closer!
10. Sex drug - You've been given a sex drug and you need to get laid right now.
11. Cheating - You're cheating on your lovers with each other.
12. Voyeurism - You want to watch your lover have sex with someone else or for someone to watch the both of you together.
13. Possessed - Your lover isn't... exactly themselves. Too rough? Too gentle? Maybe they weren't even your lover before this...
14. Genderswitched - One or both of you is the other gender!
15. Glory hole - Stimulation awaits on the other side!
16. Sex club - You're in a club specifically for sex. Relax, have fun, try not to interrupt any orgies!
17. Teasing - Sending dirty texts, whispering things in your lover's ear, or just bending over a little too much, you're determined to drive your lover crazy with teasing.
18. Blackmailed - You were blackmailed into doing this...
19. Webcam/IM - You're cybering!
20. Pick your own - Maybe there's something I forgot, or maybe you want to do multiples. Roll a twenty, and go for it.

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Oh really? [ Duo smirks, clearly understanding that offer even as he finishes in a drawer for tissues to offer to Wufei in order to help him clean up. He kept all necessary (or unnecessary) supplies around just in case, okay? Every true gundam pilot did.

With that done, Duo moves to fix himself, tucking himself back in to his underwear and tucking his shirt in to his pants again. ]

Is that an offer to make the neighbors think we're killing each other?

I think they've learned better than to drive by our place without ear plugs. [At least he hoped they had, for everyone's dignity.

Wufei cleaned himself up as much as he could, making a face at the state of his shirt. Clearly, he'd need to grab his spare from his office. Grabbing the rest of his clothes, he started to redress.]

But you wanted to be able to make me scream...

Haha, this is true. At least I would hope. Though if they wanted to listen in they'll have a nice show too. [ Duo, for one, didn't seem to have an ounce of shame in him, particularly not when it came to what he and Wufei did behind closed doors. He wasn't about to apologize for being attracted to his husband.

Not one word. ]

Oh I will, babe. No worries about that.

Edited 2013-06-13 15:00 (UTC)

You'll have to show me.

[He just wasn't going to dignify the comment about possibly voyeuristic neighbors with a response. At least the fence was good and high, without any trees too close to the other side.

Tucking in his shirt and fixing his ponytail to make himself presentable again (along with checking his throat for visible hickies), Wufei cast a look back at his husband.]

You did say you were finished with today's work, I believe.

Oh I will, trust me. [ Duo snickers at Wufei's attempts to not dignify him with answers or too much of an eye full, making sure everything was in order with himself in the reflective surface of the laptop now that it had timed out. Once he was sure he looked presentable he checked Wufei over, moving to fix a little bump in Wufei's collar, since he knew his partner to be perfectionistic when it came to these things. ]

I am Wu. I may ride and hide, but I never tell a lie, right?

[Wufei smiled, leaning forward to kiss him again, if more chastely than before.]

Then I'll meet you at the car in ten minutes.

[Clearly, Duo was horrible for his work ethic. But if they had finished already... oh well. And his shirt was messed up.]

Okay, Wu. I'll see you then... [ Duo smiles, leaning in to give Wufei a little nuzzle before shooing him out. He had to basically finish and wrap up a few things, and then they were home free. So he wakes his laptop up, laughing a little in surprise as he realizes that the webcam was running the whole time. It only took a few scene skips for Duo to realize he'd gotten a few (luckily) good shots in there, and with a wicked little smirk he pulls the file off of his work laptop, encrypting it and sending it to his home laptop and Wufei's.

That smirk is still on his face when he meets Wufei, leaning in to kiss him again. ]

I'm not telling you what it is, but I have a surprise for you when we get home.

[Wufei quickly put his paperwork to rights for the night, grabbing his laptop and the things he generally didn't trust to stay at HQ while he was absent.

That smirk made him a little wary as he kissed Duo back, eying him.]

Should I be worried?

Nah, don't be worried, babe. But you should check your laptop, while we're in the car. No wifi needed. I transferred something on to yours that you might find very interesting... [ Duo pulls out his set of keys, moving for the driver's side door if Wufei would let him. He drove like a maniac, at least a little bit, so he wouldn't be surprised if the former Shenlong pilot didn't want him to drive from time to time.

At the moment, though... he's more interested in seeing Wufei's reaction to their impromptu porno. ]

[Glancing sideways at Duo, Wufei pulled his laptop back out and opened it up, accessing the file his husband had sent him. A video? Hitting play, his eyes quickly began to widen as his face went from pink to deep red. Oh god. He squeaked, slamming his laptop shut.]

Duo!

[ Duo just smirks, the expression growing wider and more obvious as he drives, just waiting to see Wufei's reaction out of the corner of his eye. If he's honest, that's half of why he even sent it to Wufei instead of just keeping it to himself - Wufei's reaction to being in their own sort of porno. This was, without a doubt, well worth it. ]

If it's any consolation, I didn't know that the camera was rolling.

If anyone else ever sees this, you will be on the couch for a year.

[Meaning Duo had better be sure his laptop was more secure than it even needed to be for Preventer work, because Wufei would die of embarrassment if anyone other than Duo saw him in that state.]

No one's gonna see anything, Wufei. #1, because I'm not gonna let them. #2, because I made sure that it was completely erased from the Preventer's computers and encrypted on to our own. If anyone wants to be nosey, they'll get a nasty virus that only I can get off.

[ he offers his hand, palm up, for Wufei to take. ] So stop worrying and enjoy our accidental and pretty hot movie, okay?

[Sighing softly, he slid his fingers over Duo's palm before gripping it briefly. Reluctantly, he reopened the laptop, telling the video to play again. His cheeks stayed red as he watched the video.]

Do I really look like that when you top?

[ It's hard to keep his eyes on the road when he can hear them, even soft grunts and panting was enough to tell him that they were enjoying themselves. And despite the fact that they'd just finished, he could feel himself responding to it, getting hard again and knowing he could probably talk Wufei in to it if he wanted to.. ]

Yeup. And you look damn good like that. Though.. if you keep playing that you're either gonna enjoy or regret it when we get home.

[Wufei jerked when Duo spoke up and broke his focus. He swallowed heavily, thankful for the laptop keeping his lap well covered. Licking his lips, he glanced sideways at Duo.]

Maybe I should turn it up then.

Do you want me to fuck you right in the back of this car when we get parked? Because I will. [ Duo snickers, before he thinks of something, taking the next turn smoothly. They were finally out of the city, and headed out to their home, tucked away on a good amount of land. ]

Or should I wait until we get inside and just tease you in every room?

How about we combine them. You wait until we get home, and take me in every room.

[Only around Duo could he ever get this bold. It was utterly his fault for corrupting him.]

The car doesn't have as much room as the jeep did in the back.

I like the sound of that... though.. should I let you come in every room, or use one of those 'gag' gifts and make sure you're screaming for it by the end?

[ He liked having Wufei feel so comfortable, like this. The fact that they could just discuss like this was more than thrilling. ]

[Wufei's cheeks warmed at the idea, and he reluctantly found himself intrigued by it. Duo's endurance tended to be better than his own still, especially when the man was topping.]

So long as you promise to leave me completely satisfied by the end too.

Wufei, when do I ever leave you in the lurch for that? [ Duo snickers, turning to look at him for a moment, and then back to the road. ]

I'll make your toes curl.

[Closing the video, Wufei leaned over to kiss his cheek. He'd have done more, oh so much more, but it wouldn't have been particularly safe while Duo drove.]

I know you will. We'll use the usual safeword.

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