bakerstreet | quote, unquote.

[ ooc; info. priestess devoted to the fictional goddess of a fictional historical empire that died out 2000 bc and thus, long lost to the modern world. prefer f/f for shipping. ota for gen. welcoming all kinds of timey-whimey, multiversal stuff as well as various au's. no smut. ]

one. I wondered what things became when you no longer needed them, and I wondered what the future would hold once we'd gotten past our personal tragedies and proven them ultimately survivable.
- Robyn Schneider, The Beginning of Everything

two. It's not so much my own death that is intolerable, it's the death of those around me. Because I love them. And part of me dies with them. Therefore all love, if you like, is a form of suicide.
- S. K. Tremayne, The Ice Twins

three. You go your way / I'll go your way too
- Leonard Cohen, Book of Longing

Or bring your own!

one ★ I'll walk forever with stories inside me that the people I love most can never hear [ Michelle Hodkin, The Evolution of Mara Dyer ]

two ★ I'll never forget the beginning of our falling apart [ Tahereh Mafi, Unravel Me ]

three ★ They say age brings wisdom but it isn't true. All you ever get is a better sense of your own limitations [ Curtis Edmonds, Rain on Your Wedding Day ]

[ooc: voice testing!]

( m/m for shipping, ota for gen! )

1. "I'll walk forever with stories inside me that the people I love the most can never hear."
- Michelle Hodkin, The Evolution of Mara Dyer

2. "I believe that a person's taste in music tells you a lot about them. In some cases, it tells you everything you need to know."
- Leila Sales, This Song Will Save Your Life

3. "It is, I think, that we are all so alone in what lies deepest in our souls, so unable to find the words and perhaps the courage to speak with unlocked hearts, that we do not know at all that it is the same with others."
- Sheldon Vanauken, A Severe Mercy

4. bring your own quote!

1. They say age brings wisdom, but it isn't true. All you ever get is a better sense of your own limitations. -- Curtis Edmonds, Rain on Your Wedding Day

2. ...I had felt the same way, intending to enjoy every free moment of life. Yet I had lapsed back into a daily routine, wishing my time away. -- Maria V. Snyder, Storm Glass

3. As the components of your life are stripped away, after all the ambitions and hopes vaporize, you reach a self-reflective starkness-the repetitious plucking of a single overwound string. -- Arthur Nersesian, The Fuck Up

4. To conceal anything from those to whom I am attached, is not my nature. I can never close my lips where I have opened my heart. -- Charles Dickens, Master Humphrey's Closet

[ info & permissions! ]

1. "How beautiful life is and how sad! How fleeting, with no past or future, only a limitless now."
- James Clavel, Shogun

2. "That's the trouble with a brain - it thinks more than you sometimes want it to."
- Tom Perrotta, Little Children

3. "The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages."
- Virginia Woolf, "An Unwritten Novel"

4. "I couldn't bear to think about it; and yet, somehow, I couldn't think about nothing else."
- Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

5. "I turned you into a stranger in order to forget you and now I'm the stranger."
- Carlose Ruiz Zafon, The Angel's Game

6. Bring your own quote!

Edited 2023-07-10 03:21 (UTC)

How long had he been in seclusion? How long had he locked himself away from the world to repent for his crimes against his own sect brother? The world had changed since he locked himself away.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were wandering the world.

Somehow, Huaisang had become an incredibly capable sect leader with how strong the Nie were. He even became chief cultivator.

A-Ling was...slowly tripping his way into being a capable sect leader. He'd trained his nephew as best he could.

Where did that leave him in the world?

Jiang Cheng finds himself standing on the dock, half in a haze, and seeing...an illusion...was it his own mind playing tricks or was Nie Huaisang disembarking onto the dock?

For Nie Huaisang, in many ways, he hasn't changed at all. He still has hidden agendas, he's still attaching strings to various figures in cultivation society and maneuvering them around as pieces on the board. He still doesn't trust most people as far as he can throw them and his personal relationships are pretty much limited to his pet birds and Jin Guangyao's bloodstained hat. Keeping himself busy has gone a long way to keeping loneliness at bay through throughout it all, he hasn't stopped wondering about Jiang Cheng and how things were going for him in seclusion between tasks.

But now that he's managed to reverse his reputation, restore his sect's prestige and prosperity, and secure his new position, Nie Huaisang can afford to relax a little and pay a visit to an old friend.

He fans himself, looking a good deal calmer and more confident than he'd been when he'd seen Jiang Cheng last. He greets the man with a smile and a wave like he'd done in their school days.

"Jiang-xiong! Hello! Long time, no see!"

From the healthy glow in Nie Huaisang's cheeks, he seems to be thriving in his new place in the pecking order.

"I hope you're doing well!"

Edited 2023-07-10 22:26 (UTC)

Nothing like the Huaisang that squirreled birds into their studies whenever he can nor the bumbling idiot for those years. Huaisang looks well. Disciples line the dock to also greet the Nie sect leader though there are whispers amongst them about how their own sect leader had emerged only to look like a ghost of his former self.

His eyes are lifeless, his hair long and scraggly, his pallor a bit more grey than the last time they met. He isn't well. Jiang Cheng moves almost mechanically to cup his hands before him to bow in greeting.

"What brings you to Lotus Pier?"

He tries not to wince at how gravelly from disuse his own voice is. There's a far more bitter question that rests on his tongue that he doesn't dare speak in front of so many people: why is Huaisang here when he knows Jiang Cheng is a lie? When Huaisang knows that his golden core is not his own but--?

Jaw clenched, he stands rooted, waiting for the other to speak again. Whispers erupt behind him and the disciples scatter, presumably prepping the receiving room for them.

He'd been right to come here.

Nie Huaisang can see that now. But whether entering seclusion has been beneficial to Jiang Cheng in any way has yet to be seen. He knows from personal experience that sometimes things have to get worse before they get better.

After taking a brief moment to greet the disciples with a friendly smile, he turns his full attention on Jiang Chenge. There certainly are visible changes, even if he himself is unaware of them. His gaze is focused in a way that might almost feel intimidating to some but his voice remains gentle and soft.

"I just wanted to eee you, Jiang-xiong. I've been thinking about you a lot lately, wondering how seclusion has been working out for you so far," he replies with simple straitforward sincerity.

Then his tone quavers slightly, reminiscent of his old, harmless self.

"...Is that a problem for you?"

Edited 2023-07-11 06:08 (UTC)

Wanted to see him? Jiang Cheng frowns deeply, hand reaching to touch his lower stomach, where Wei Wuxian's golden core rests. He doesn't need pity. Huaisang was there and knew what secrets were brought to light on that horrific night. How could Huaisang look at him? Let alone want to see him after the revelation. He's a fraud, a lie. There's a very slight spark in his eyes as his old anger seems to resurface just for a brief moment. But he couldn't hold onto it. His shoulders slump and he looks up at Huaisang again.

"I apologize," he mumbles. "I'm..."

What is he? A mess, a wreck, hiding away from the world so that he couldn't face his own cowardice.

"How are things in Qinghe?"

That was a much safer question for him to offer.

"I think we're back on track. All the matters that had fallen to the wayside have been taken care of. It's been a busy time! But I think everyone's happier than they used to be, myself included."

As necessary as it had been to pour so many resources into finding his brother and his investigation in Jin Guangyao's secrets, Nie Huaisang had never quite been able to shake the guilt of having to leave so much of the day-to-day running of the sect to elders better suited to combat. But now that particular matter has been finished for quite some time, Nie Huaisang's been able to reallocate everything back to its proper place. They're thriving again, just like they'd been during his brother's time. He hopes Nie Mingjue is proud of him.

"I don't get out much except for official business unless I happen to get really lucky. But it is what it is, I suppose."

He pauses briefly before continuing onward as if just how unwell Jiang Cheng isn't already staring him in the face.

"How about you? How are things going in Lotus Pier? It's been some time since I've heard any news..."

A disbelieving snort escapes him at the very thought of Huaisang not being able to get out and chase after birds. When Huaisang moves closer, Jiang Cheng has to fight the urge to move back, to send Huaisang away and slither back into his shame and isolation. Perhaps he would perish there. A-Ling would need to decide on an heir, perhaps. The very thought of such a weight on his nephew keeps him tethered to this existence. Only barely.

"If you wish for news of Lotus Pier, then you should ask the elders."

His voice is still rough from disuse. It takes a lot of energy to simply utter words. Had he been asked before, Jiang Cheng would have snapped and dragged Huaisang to the town to let him see for himself - loudly dismissing the ridiculous notion of no news from Lotus Pier.

It's definitely a change in demeanor from what Nie Huaisang is used to coming from Jiang Cheng. He can certainly see how large a toll everything has taken on his old friend. It's enough to kindle the small flame of compassion that's been slowly but steadily growing within him. AFter having spent so many years with grief and rage dominating his heart, it's been nice to feel other things for a change.

"I already heard from the elders," he says with a casual shrug. "I'm more interested in hearing about matters from the sect leader's pespective."

There might be a subtle rebuke and reminder of Jiang Cheng's responsibilities hidden within his words but it's a softer and gentler than what most would give.

"It's been a very long time since anyone's been able to hear Sect Leader Jiang's perspective on any kind of matter at all. Too long, some might say."

How can Huaisang be so casual about everything? Jiang Cheng almost wishes that Wei Wuxian never did what he did. In his seclusion, he wished for it desperately. That things were different. Ah, but wishes would do him no good now. He finds his mind drifting inward again and mentally shakes himself. His sect runs easily on its own with the elders and his senior disciples taking care of things.

"And who are these people that say it's been too long?"

His disciples scurry past and one of them presses a stealthy note to Huaisang, begging him to draw their sect leader out of his seclusion and perhaps make sure he has a bath.

"I don't know. Everyone that's ever known you? You're the leader of a great sect, a public figure, and there's two of them in seclusion. Of course, people are talking and wondering where you've gone and when you're coming back."

Nie Huaisang slips the note quickly behind his fan, masking it from Jiang Cheng as he reads it quickly. His instinct had been correct. An intervention has become necessary.

"Did you know there's a new bathhouse that opened up here recently? I saw it on the way here. It's supposed to be quite a reinvigorating experience! Why don't you come with me? I could use the company and it'd give us both a chance to relax and catch up."

Despite how breezy and cheerful his voice sounds on the surface, there's an underlying ring of casual authority to it that suggests that this is might be more of an veiled command than a simple request.

"I'll even buy you lunch. My treat."

The scoff he lets out is nearly reminiscent of how he had been. Of course, Lan Xichen had to retreat into seclusion for his own crimes.

When Huaisang invites hin to the bath house, he opens his mouth to decline but there’s … something in his tone. just on the edges of it that didn’t sound like it left room for rebuttal.

Perhaps…

He closes his mouth again and nods jerkily. Immediately, his hand reaches up to cover where Wei Wuxian’s core rests as if he could somehow hide it away from the world. And it would be good to see…

To see the disappointment in his people’s faces that their sect leader is a fraud.

1. "There's no quiet place here on earth for our love, not in the village and not anywhere else, so I picture a grave, deep and narrow, in which we embrace as if clamped together, I bury my face against you, you yours against me, and no one will ever see us." - Franz Kafka, The Castle

2. "Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time." -
Maya Angelou

3. "'“Help! Keep off, you cursed tow-head fiend—keep that damned needle away from me!'" H.P. Lovecraft, Herbert West: Reanimator

4. "I'm tired of this back-slappin' "isn't humanity neat" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes." - Bill Hicks

5. [Quote away at him!]

1. "The world runs on the fuel of this endless, fathomless misery. People know it, but they don't mind what they don't see. Make them look and they mind, but you're the one they hate because you're the one who made them look."
- Karen Joy Fowler, We Are Completely Beside Ourselves

2. "To belong nowhere is a blessing and a curse, like any kind of freedom."
- Leah Stewart, The Myth of You and Me

3. "It's always surprising to be reminded that while you're watching and thinking about people, all-knowing and superior, they're watching and thinking about you, right back at you."
- Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

4. "I live in a perpetual expectancy. You come and the time slips away in a dream. It is only when you go that I realize completely your presence. And then it is too late. You numb me."
- Henry Miller

5. "It's all these choices that we could have made, the things we might have done. We see them with perfect clarity only long after the moment has passed."
- Lisa Unger, Beautiful Lies

6. Bring your own quote!

[OOC: Voicetesting!]

Edited 2023-07-12 09:38 (UTC)

((OOC: I'm imagining it in this sort of lil AU i wrote up a million years ago. Do you prefer before or after JGY offs his dad?))

[Sounds good to me! I'm leaning more toward after JGY offs his dad, I think! Probably well in the watchtower business, too. Rusong may be on the chopping block next but might not be dead yet.]

It's telling that the Nuregarasu sect, a notoriously all-female sect, didn't make their appearance formally until after Jin Guangshan was cold in the grave. In the time that followed, disciples were dispatched to the great sects to send their greetings and extend offers of alliances and goodwill.

Miu thinks they should have sent someone else for this job, for sure. The girls come off as 'creepy' to some, or shy to others, and Miu, with her head held high and her smile warm and charming, is the only one who actually seems approachable. It's exhausting, honestly.

She smiles and pours tea or alcohol, she dances and she sings when asked, she's gracious and polite and sweet. She does everything she's supposed to to encourage trust in her sect and it makes her sick to her stomach.

And on this night, prowling through the courtyards at night when the moon is high and full, the smile is replaced with a scowl.

"This place gives me a headache," she grumbles aloud, her bad mood mollified only when she comes across a courtyard with some pretty ponds and flowers. "At least it's pretty..." It's got that going for it.

The young mistress isn't alone in her sentiments.

It's been a grueling time, keeping up appearances and making certain the mask he wears in Jinlintai is flawless. It's utterly crucial at this stage that he portray a perfect picture of humility, heartfelt grief, and remorse over the necessity of ascending to leadership over a sect that rightfully belongs to the infant heir now in his care. His status as the only suitable heir at present is precarious, at best, a fact he's extremely conscious of, but he's clinging to it with same strength as a man trying to maintain a grip on a slippery cliffside as he hauls himself into a position of safety. But even if it's far from the idyllic acceptance that exists only in his fantasies, it's still better than any of of the unpleasant alternatives he's had to endure.

Still, there's only so many fake smiles and false interest in the comfort and well-being of others that he can muster before Jin Guangyao excuses himself to rest and regroup in the gardens. He glances over at the young woman, ip quirking up slightly at her scowl. If he knew how to make such a face anymore, he'd probably be joining her. As it stands, his own expression is one of simple, tired indifference - an honest expression he'll only indulge in a few moments longer before forcing his typical calm, benevolent smile.

"Mistress Miu, head disciple of the Nuregarasu Sect, wasn't it? I apologize for not finding time to speak with you personally earlier. I hope you are finding your stay in Lanling comfortable."

He had been watching her along with the other young women of her sect, more out of long ingrained personal habit than anything else since his father was no longer around to be a threat to any of them. Of course, that didn't mean there weren't other animals of a similar mindset with less boldness to them lurking around.

Edited (typo orz) 2023-07-27 19:07 (UTC)

The noise Miu makes is somewhere between a squeal and a squawk of alarm, and one she will deny making until the day she dies.

She jumps and whirls around, a hand to her chest in alarm, looking like she's about to start yelling when it clicks just who it was speaking to her. "Oh-- Uh."

Yuri's voice chides in her mind to be nice, Miu, for goodness' sake, and she swallows back her ire to smile as well, all bright and cheery and not at all meeting her eyes.

"Sect Leader Jin. I'm honored you remembered my name," she says, as if it wouldn't be expected. The platitudes burn on her tongue even as she bows. "I didn't mean to disturb you, I just wanted to look around at everything. It's a large place, and much more colorful than home. I'm a bit dazed."

quote, unquote.

ara vana — original — ota

jean grey ★ marvel

Ballister Boldheart - Netflix Nimona

kaeya alberich — genshin impact.

joel miller | the last of us

Birdie Lewis | OC | Vampire: The Masquerade | OTA

Nie Huaisang | Mo Dao Zu Shi (novel/donghua)

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Albert Wesker / Resident Evil

Jin Guangyao | Mo Dao Zu Shi (Novel)

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