Chin up, chest out. It's rating time.

[cuntryroads]

RATE THAT CHEST MEME

You know the "rate that ass" meme? Well, here's a meme that allows you to rate the opposite! This includes a man's chest, a woman's chest, even a treasure chest if you're really into that sort of thing. Just show it off and give a rating from 0 (the absolute worst!!) to 10 (HELL YEAH) and go from there. Simple as that! And make sure to have fun!

Comments

[riftings]

Nine. [ Beat. ] And a half.

[rosarianoath]

Flattering. What made you reconsider?

[riftings]

Honestly? The rather irresistible urge to try and fix the laces on your tunic.

Although the aesthetic really does work for you.

[rosarianoath]

Thank you. [Vaguely amused:] How should I wear the laces, then, if not like this?

[riftings]

[ She smiles slightly, blushing a bit. But rallies regardless. ]

Well, my first response would be to say “undone entirely”, but that might not be prudent, considering.

[rosarianoath]

Probably not very useful in battle, undone. Maybe in hotter weather.

[Clive, you dipshit.]

[riftings]

[ She blinks, then has to laugh, because he’s not wrong. ]

Fair point. But we’re not fighting now, yes? Why not give it a go?

[ Maker, this is as bold as she’s ever been. Dorian would be so proud. ]

[rosarianoath]

[He hesitates; the confidence of his posture doesn't quite extend to women, but he does like to please. What's the harm?]

Of course, Lady Leanna.

[He reaches up and unclips his cape baldric, the heavy leathers falling from his shoulders to a pile on the ground. His tunic is already worn unlaced nearly to the ribs, and it's just another tug of a cord to loosen it, baring more of a broad, chiseled chest.]

[riftings]

Just Leah, please. There's really no need to be so formal, Clive.

[ Not when he's literally divesting his clothing right in front of her. And despite herself, she can't help but watch in absolute fascination. ]

...see? Much better. You'd cut such a wide swath in Orlais if you visited the city garbed like that.

[rosarianoath]

Of course, Leah.

[Old habits die hard; a lady is a lady, no matter how familiar. He gives her a vaguely apologetic look as he drops his sword belt.]

I'm surprised they haven't seen their fill of soldiers.

[riftings]

Thank you.

[ She holds out her hands for the sword belt; no need to let such a magnificent weapon be discarded so trivially. ]

No doubt they have, but you, my friend, are definitely one of a kind. I know I'd feel infinitely safer to have you guarding my door. Regardless of dress.

[ Her fingers even twitch with the desire to just touch. The man's so gorgeous, and his sweet shyness just adds another layer to that appeal. And it's unnerving how he just...stirs that warmth beneath her skin. ]

Um...you don't--youcanleavethereston, ifyouwant.

[rosarianoath]

[Gods knows his gear has seen more treachery than the floor could ever muster to match, but her consideration has him pausing, and so he hands it to her.]

Careful. It's heavy.

[It's a big sword for a big man, after all. He gives her a curious look, not sure why she's changed her mind, but who is he to argue? He's perfectly fine with standing there, vaguely self-aware with his vest open to the navel, revealing a chiseled abdomen and a dark treasure trail.]

If that is what you want. This isn't an interview for a bodyguard position, is it?

[riftings]

ooc; omg can she pleeeeease have him for a bodyguard?? THAT WOULD BE SO EPIC. 💕

[ It is heavy, and though she does huff at the weight when she takes it, she's not such a milkmaid to just drop it. Respectfully, she rests the sheathed tip on the floor and holds it by the hilt, pointedly ignoring the fact that it's almost as tall as she is.

Then she blinks at him, again, and can't stop the squirm. ]

...well...it was, really, I promise it was, but I have these friends [ said through clenched teeth with a dark glower shot off to towards the balcony, where a long swath of silk curtains suspiciously flutter in the cold mountain breeze ] who are honestly good-hearted but have nasty senses of humor who bet that I couldn't get you out of even one piece of armor [ she's staring at his left shoulder because she cannot look him in the eye, Maker ] before getting all flustered because honestly Clive do you even know how handsome you are?

[ Now she meets his gaze, but drops it quickly, staring at her own hands wrapped around the hilt of his sword. And clears her throat. Twice. ]

But...the job's yours. If-if you still want it.

[rosarianoath]

[OOC: hahah sounds good to me!]

[Her explanation has him politely puzzled, unsurprised at being on the receiving end of some sort of prank, and even less surprised at being offered some sort of work. Harder to shrug off is the comment on his looks; he finds himself equally flustered, even though his expression softens only mildly. He's hardly ever given it much thought, given he's been about as desirable as dirt for much of his adult life.]

I don't mean to sound humble, but it hadn't really crossed my mind. But rest assured, if you need protection, you have my sword. [A pause, as he looks at his blade in her lovely, lithe hands.] And me.

[riftings]

[ She loves her companions, she does, but Maker she really wants to punch a few of them sometimes! ]

They're idiots, I promise. No harm intended. By all means, feel free to make their lives miserable [ which is aimed towards the curtains with a sidelong glare ] as often as you like. They won't mind, promise.

[ But she breathes a sigh of relief at his acquiescence, already feeling a heavy burden lift from her shoulders. She has plenty, but the attempts on her life - in her own keep - are just too much. Still, it must mean she's doing something right. ]

...oh, thank you, Clive. Normally I wouldn't really...well, let me just say that there has been an uptick in the assassination attempts, and the last two were right here, in my private quarters. It's more that they were here than the fact that they happen at all, because I do have to sleep, at least a little.

[ Leah cradles his sword, holding it tightly, more for reassurance than anything else. ] I can take care of myself, most of the time, but...well, my councilors felt it prudent to have an extra set of eyes, eyes devoted to me, and not...the Inquisition. [ Her eyes then meet his, softly green and clear. ] Will you do so? For me?

[rosarianoath]

[Clive listens attentively, a dark furrow to his brow from the moment assassination comes up; it's very familiar territory, certainly, but not typically from this side. Perhaps, he thinks, that would make him even more suited to the job.]

If your life is at stake, of course. I will protect you.

[He gives her a curious look, eyes never leaving hers.]

I know the Inquisition has not always enjoyed popularity, but what has attracted so many assassins to you?

[riftings]

ooc; i also meant to say last tag - awesome! lmao it wasn't the idea behind the reason to tag, but hey, it works! going with canon point right after halamshiral if you're canon-familiar ❤️

[ She's had to make some tough decisions, not many of them popular. But there was no way to please everyone, nor did she intend to. They'd put her in this position, so all of Thedas was going to have to deal with the consequences. ]

Well, the murder of Empress Celene was rather shocking. And the Orlesian nobility wasn't entirely thrilled that they couldn't execute her elven lover for it. That's just the most recent idea.

[ She lifts her left hand, palm out, the Anchor gleaming lightly. ]

And then there's this, which the Red Templars and Corypheus want so badly.

[rosarianoath]

[ooc: Haha no worries, it works it works! I haven't played a Dragon Age in ages and never finished any of them, so my memories are muddy, but I can make do no problem haha. ]



[The little rumble of consideration he gives comes from deep in his chest. He's never been one for politics, but he's been around them enough to know the broad strokes, and complexity of the intricacies above them. How many times has he heard of a Bearer getting executed or just beaten to death in the streets for daring to step outside their station? To take a lover of high political standing is suicide.

The furrow of his brow deepens.]

I see.

[He reaches to take her hand, but stops short of touching her, just in case.]

May I?

[riftings]

ooc; yup, no worries! i can roll with all the things, so no stress on the details. it's all good XD

[ She'd agree. She'd been content in the Circle, studying in the library and happily learning about everything. Then she'd been literally thrown into the political realm, and had learned to be ruthless in diplomacy.

She hates it.

But she doesn't shy away from his question, turning her hand palm-out and extending it further. ]

Of course. Please.