The BDSM Lifestyle Meme

[cerebel]

The BDSM Lifestyle Meme

BDSM isn't all about the sex. Sure, handcuffs, whips and chains, toys, power and control-play can be fun, but sometimes it's about the other stuff too. The little stuff. The ways you and your partner give yourselves to each other every day.

So this is a meme to play out safe, sane, consensual and maybe even non-sexual BDSM.



If you want more information, check out:

The Ten Golden Rules of BDSM Negotiation
Sexuality.Org's BDSM Index
The Keys to A Relationship
Extreme Restraints

Be warned: Threads and prompts below may contain triggers, and will contain sexual content.

THE EVERYDAY:
1. feeding: using him as a plate? having her kneel and accept hand-feeding? maybe someone's been very good and should have a tasty reward.
2. bathing: after all, you have to take care of your partner. it's nice to have someone to get lotion in those hard-to-reach places.
3. talking/therapy: how are you going to work out this relationship? what obstacles do you have to overcome?
4. massage: some intimate relaxation.
5. dates: it's good to go out every once in a while.
6. negotiation: to work out what kinks are and are not okay.
7. nonsexual bondage: gags, bridles, chastity belts. some people just like the security of bondage in everyday life.
8. humiliation/in public: take your pet out to show her off; bend him over a bench and spank him for bad behavior.
9. animal play: pony play, pet play.
10. punishment/discipline: someone's been bad. maybe it's time for a time-out. or maybe someone has to clean the bathroom with a toothbrush.
11. other

THE SEXUAL:
1. the light stuff: some handcuffs, some ropes. nothing too extreme. maybe one partner or the other is afraid; maybe it's just time to take a break from the trappings and have some love-making.
2. bondage: chains, or elaborately knotted ropes, or full-body bindings. maybe even suspension in midair.
3. caning/whipping/spanking: for punishment and for enjoyment of the pain.
4. shaving: you like them with smooth skin. no beards, no lovetrail, no hairy legs.
5. piercing/tattooing: a permanent mark of devotion.
6. sensory deprivation: gags, blindfolds, earplugs, to shut out the rest of the world.
7. as therapy: exploring a past trauma or fear.
8. first time: one partner or another is experiencing the kink lifestyle for the first time.
9. kink parties: for casual play. mind the rules; drugs and alcohol are rarely tolerated, and all play must be consensual. or else the host or hostess might get angry.
10. orgasm denial/forced orgasm: until they beg for it, or beg you to stop.
11. ageplay: perhaps someone wants to be treated like a child. maybe a little daddy or mommy kink to go along with it.
12. role-play: taking on roles. master-slave, teacher-student, dragon prince and slave-dancer -- your imagination's the limit.
13. genital torture: pain where you're the most sensitive.
14. electricity: to give things a spark.
15. medical fetish: sounding, stirrups, speculums -- oh, doctor.
16. fucking machines: it'll keep in the same rhythm, no matter how much you beg.
17. other

Please do NOT leave your comment blank! (Blank comments will not be deleted, but we highly recommend that you post something.) Either write a note on desired kinks/undesired kinks or create a scenario or fill out the textarea below:
<b>Character Description:</b> KINKS <b>YES:</b> <b>MAYBE:</b> <b>NO:</b>

Comments

Zane { Mistborn Trilogy } OTA

[godsays]

Character Description: Zane is an extremely powerful Mistborn, able to ingest metals and use their energy for various powers. He believes himself to be insane, is a walking trigger warning (self-harm is something that almost certainly will come up during these threads), and has a metal spike that has been driven through his chest and is still embedded there.

KINKS
YES: Zane is more or less powersexual, and is likely to be not attracted to people who don't have lots of superpowers and/or who don't know what it's like to be used as a weapon. Beyond that, he can be sub or dom; as a sub, it plays on his need to be paid attention to and be praised. As a dom, things play on his need to keep people as his very own so that they will never leave.

As far as specific kinks, I'm pretty easygoing.

MAYBE: Dates, animal play, electricity, medical fetish. These are all ones I'm just not particularly interested in, but could be convinced in the right situation.
NO: Definitely nothing non-consensual, not interested in bathroom play.

[delusionaldreams]

The room is dimly lit, music thrumming through his veins and pulsing in time to his heart, a steady thud that makes his hips sway in place and his fingers tap against his thigh. The low stage at the front is occupied, but he only gives it a cursory glance as his gaze slowly sweeps through the room; a public show is not to his liking this night. There are various smaller rooms, curtained off to give the illusion of privacy, and a large dance-floor packed with bodies yet no one, no one seems to hold his attention this night.

He isn't looking for someone who thinks power is equivalent to pain and violence; he seeks one who wields it as easily as breathing, someone who knows how to make him bend, someone who doesn't feel the urge to prove themselves like so many others do. Loki sips at his drink, discontent.

He'd hoped for more.

Stephen Hart ➢ Primeval ➢ OTA

[outoftrouble]

Character Description: Ex-Olympic prospect of a shooter/fencer, turned environmentalist who wants to Save The Earth. Quite loyal, very physically fit, very subby. Dinosaur hunter.

KINKS
YES: Everything everyday is good with me; general lifestyle things might be super-fun. With sexual, I would rather it be an established relationship, maybe one that's pushing the envelope a little, so discussing it beforehand would probably be a good idea.
MAYBE: Not that interested in kink parties, electricity, medical fetish, fucking machines.
NO: Nothing non-consensual, not interested in bathroom play.

sexual 7

[isahumanbeing]

This isn't so much something Nick would do without any reason. As far as he's concerned Stephen needs this more than he does. That's not to say he doesn't feel a rush from just knowing and some... ideas.

"You said you'd do anything," he prompts, "This is your chance. We'll see how far you're really willing to go." It was hard to put a note of disbelief in his voice, but he gets it in there.

"I want your shirt off and I want you kneeling right here," he points to a spot on the carpet, "Don't move until I get back." Then he just walks out of the room.

Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow | MCU | OTA

[unmakeme]

YOUR CHARACTER: Natasha is a bamf and a slightly enhanced super spy. She's tightly controlled and extremely experienced. She's got a couple of variations, mostly to do with how severely Red Room fucked her up. Let me know if you're looking for someone more human or more "super" than her middling baseline.

Unless we've talked OOC and worked it out beforehand, she's in charge. There's too much trust involved for her to do this casually. There aren't many people she'd sub for, but if you think you play one of them, PM me and we can see if it works.

SEEKING: She's looking for people who will let her absolutely control them, and people who aren't afraid of her for the domestic side of things. Sometimes she likes being able to set aside the killer in her and use her skills for something positive to remind herself of the kind of human she's trying to be. Especially looking for a Clint or a Bucky or other MCU characters, and strong people who are willing to be weak for her.

KINKS
YES: dirty talk, hurt/comfort, aftercare, pegging, sounding, fighting, bdsm, food play, breathplay, bloodplay, whipping, sensory deprivation, discipline, body worship, exhibitionism, toys, orgasm denial, there's a whole hell of a lot on my "yes" list. If you don't see it here, I may still be open to it.
MAYBE: genital torture, dub-con, Natasha as the submissive.
NO: bathroom stuff, vore, extreme gore, torture for the sake of torture, non-con (situations where the sub elects out of a safe word are fine), underage partners for explicit sex.

Re: Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow | MCU | OTA

[angermanaging]

Hey, I'd love to do something with you (Bruce as the sub) but I'd sort of like to talk over the scene a little before we get into it? Is there a place for plotting that you like to use?

I think there's a hell of a lot of potential here, especially because submission wouldn't be easy for Bruce, but if anyone needs to have a chance to give up complete control, it's him.

Arkin O'Brien | The Collector/Collection | OTA

[themissingpiece]

Character Description: Arkin is/was a jewel thief and ex-con. He's a surprisingly good person who makes bad decisions. He was kidnapped and tortured by a serial killer and is a bit messed up because of it. He tries very hard to save lives but it doesn't always work.

KINKS
I'd kinda like to do something where he's using BDSM(sexual or nonsexual) as a way to heal and cope with what happened to him. He does feel guilty over the people he couldn't save.

He works better as a sub but we can talk about what it might take to get him to Dom.

YES: as therapy, bondage, sensory dep, medical kink, orgasm denial, pain play, discipline, aftercare
MAYBE/MUST TALK ABOUT FIRST: fucking machines, non-con
NO: scat.

Jacob Wells | The Following | OTA

[killergroupie]

Character Description: Jacob is an easy going, even charming, guy. A sort of golden boy with a quick smile and infectious laughter. Some of his better qualities include being great with children, being a peacemaker, and extreme loyalty. His one flaw (if you could call it that) is a macabre fascination with murderers, edging on reverence, despite being unable to carry out a kill himself (for the most part). He's more of a sub but can be persuaded to be a gentle dom, especially with a guy since his bisexuality is not something he's entirely comfortable with and would not turn control over as easily.

KINKS
I'm more interested in the everyday, specifically 2, 4, 6, 7, and 9, but anything form this segment is acceptable. From the sexual 5 or 12 are okay, but not interested in any of the other options.

Clint Barton | MCU | OTA

[broadheadquarrel]

Character Description: A super hero archer with no super powers. But that's okay. He's awesome in other ways.

He's a good little loyal soldier except for that one time with the glow stick of destiny but we don't talk about that. :|

Speaking of that, I would like to do this without any mind control or brainwashing. Just Clint doing a consensual thing that's either nonsexual or sexual. I'd be fine with either. Notes on smut and shipping.
KINKS
YES: orders and non-physical restraint(i.e. being told to not move), discipline, sounding, negotiation... and really, there's very little I'm not willing to try. Just being told what to do is the chief kink with Clint, beyond that I'm open.
MAYBE: watersports, piercing, tattooing
NO: amputation or mutilation

Noh-Varr • Marvel-616 • OTA

[nohsatsu]

Character Description: A former time-and-space traveling hipster teen on the run from the Avengers. He loves music from the 60s and 70s and he's probably one of the most awkward boys you'll ever meet. Oh, he's also an alien who's been spliced with insect DNA, is capable of contorting far more than any human, and he's capable of rerouting pain signals in his brain. Fun, right?
KINKS
YES: Everyday: 2, 4-6, 8; Sexual: 1-3, 6, 10-12, 14, 16
NO: Everything else.

Jason Todd • DCU / DCnU • OTA

[ex_agoodsoldier468]

Character Description: Former sidekick to Batman who died and came back from the dead. He's got rage issues and is hell bent on wiping out crime his way, and not the Bat's.
KINKS
YES: Everyday: 2, 4-6, 11; Sexual: 1-3, 6-8, 10-12
NO: All the rest.

Sexual: 2 + I do what I want

[arsenalrising]

It's not every day you discover something new about your sexual predilections. Roy had thought he had pretty much everything figured out and what he liked and didn't like in the bedroom. A little spice to go with your sex was great. He didn't even mind waking up the next morning with a few marks courtesy of his partner.

He'd always found the idea of bondage just a little silly. Arsenal was a bit of a control freak after all. But, compared to the crowd he ran with these days, he was downright easy going. So how exactly Jason Todd had managed to convince him to break one of his aforementioned rules in the bedroom was beyond him.

Even more surprising was the fact that Roy was starting to get off on it.

After his time in chains during his wonderful stay in Qurac, Roy still had faint scars on the inside of his wrist thanks to the stupid ball and chain he'd been forced to drag around. So when Jason had brought up the subject of adding a little bit more spice to their sexual relationship, Arsenal's knee-jerk reaction had been to say no. But the son of a bitch managed to con him into it by pointing out that Roy couldn't let his past dictate who he was and he'd fallen for that manipulation. Of course, the material holding his wrists behind his back was soft and tied loosely enough that if the archer really wanted to, he could pull his hands free readily enough. It was the symbolism of it and the trust implied in the gesture.

Roy drew the line at blindfolds however.

"No. Absolutely not." Maybe he should have negotiated things before he let Jason tie him up? Of course, the redhead hadn't expected the younger man to pull out that scrap of fabric with the intention of blinding him when they were in the middle of their love play either.

Jack Harkness – Doctor Who/Torchwood – OTA

[forever_jack]

Character Description: A flirty, strong-willed, outrageous immortal hero with a darker side that can come out in more intense moments.

He will dominate in the right circumstances but he is definitely not a sadist. He's happiest in the role of a danger-loving, thrill-seeking sub who loves to please – once he's been put in his place. Strong partners who will do that are greatly loved. :-)

KINKS
YES: Everyday: mostly interested in dates, negotiation, nonsexual bondage, humiliation/in public, punishment/discipline. Sexual: any except as detailed below. Jack loves extreme things such as genital torture, medical fetish, chastity play, sensory deprivation, breathplay. Although Jack loves sex, he's equally happy without it as long as the intensity is there to take him somewhere he can't get without it.
MAYBE: Everyday: Feeding, bathing, talking/therapy, massage, animal play (no squicks, just not that interested)
NO: Sexual: first time, age play.

Please see his kinks list for more information.

Daenerys Targaryen || Game of Thrones

[ungentle]

Character Description: Rightful queen of the Seven Kingdoms, khaleesi of the Dothraki, breaker of chains, etc. Unless we're playing it modern AU (which will almost certainly need to be the case) in which case, it's flexible and can be elaborated on if desired. She is hyperconscious of issues of consent and power dynamics, which means that everything done here will need to be completely agreed upon and relatively affectionate at its core; there's also almost no chance that this will be done with someone she doesn't know very well (details, again, can be discussed and handwaved to an extent).

Which role she takes depends on the dynamic between characters (both in and out of the scene) and what the act being done is. Men and women both welcome, though with a slight preference for women (an almost total preference if Dany is the sub).

KINKS
YES: everyday 2-7, sexual 1, 2, 6, 7, 10.
MAYBE: everyday 10, sexual 3, 12.
NO: everything else.

Overall kinks list here.

Nora Gainesborough || True Blood

[mendacium]

Character Description: 600 year old vampire, until recently a chancellor of the Vampire Authority and as such very much a skilled liar and manipulator. Almost certainly a domme, very classically so, and wears it very well; will very occasionally sub, but only with the right partner.

Men and women welcome; somehow extraordinary types (other vampire especially) loved.

KINKS
YES: everyday 2, 4, 5, 7, 8, 10. Sexual 1, 2, 3, 6, 10, 11, 12.
MAYBE: everyday 1, 3, 5, 6, 9. Sexual 7, 8, 9.
NO: anything else.

Overall kinks list here.

Number One || Star Trek (reboot)

[glacierlike]

Character Description: Number One is highly logical and keeps her emotions tightly under control. She has a dry, snarky sense of humor that's easy to miss at times. She's not very patient but she's good at faking patience. Beneath the facade of "cold", she's extremely passionate and even a touch vulnerable, being hopelessly romantic at heart.

KINKS
YES: All of it. I especially like focus on the everyday things and aftercare.
MAYBE: Talk to me if you're not sure. I'm pretty open.
NO: Bathroom related play.

hannibal lecter | nbc hannibal | ota

[intemerato]

Character Description:
Gentleman cannibal. The rude get eaten. Expect mindfucking, politeness, and the generally macabre with a generous mix of sensuous pleasures -- Hannibal's a man gifted with exceptional self-control, and he does like artistry.
KINKS
YES: All are good.
MAYBE: -
NO: -

6. Negotiation (followed by whatever is negotiated)

[forever_jack]

"Anyway, enough small talk. Let's get down to business."

Jack leans forward, forearms resting on the table between them, close enough to be heard above the noise of the bar as he lowers his voice. "They say you're the best. They say you're the one who can really fuck a guy up and make him love it."

He leans back, an alluring smile playing about his lips, and a bright challenge in his eye. "So how about it? Want to give me a go?"

((OOC: I know this is late, but I'm hoping that since no-one's tagged you here you might still be open to play? If another scenario would interest you more, or if you'd prefer to skip the negotiation and just start playing, that's fine, just go ahead, or PM me to discuss! Jack's kinks post is here and my post for this meme is here.))

Kasha Priscus || OC

[sanguiscinis]

Character Description:
Kasha is a vampire-like being from another world, where she was a princess as well as a warrior, raised to know how to kill and how to command. She's strong-willed and fierce, but also passionate and gentle. She likes trying new things.

KINKS
YES: Everything, both everyday and sexual. Bloodplay is a definite plus here, as blood serves as both Kasha's primary food source and an outlet for pleasure. She can be dominate or submissive, but she won't submit to someone she thinks weaker than herself.
MAYBE: //
NO: //

Phil Coulson | MCU | OTA

[avengeme]

KINKS
YES: Sensory Deprivation, negotiation, non-sexual bondage, orgasm denial/forced orgasm, fucking machines, as therapy, bondage, punishment/discipline
MAYBE: medical fetish
NO: shaving, feeding

Would be more than happy to start a scenario. Just list your preferences. Trust is a big thing for Coulson, so if you'd like to work in some previous CR to let it happen, I'll be happy to discuss.

Q | Skyfall | m/m

[q_tea]

Character Description: there's really not that much known about Q, and he's not really up to sharing his past. he's sassy and quirky, and has an extremely high-stress job. sometimes, he just needs to let someone else take control.

KINKS
YES: any of the everyday, particularly interested in playing out a negotiation, or any of the latter 5. any of the sexual not otherwise mentioned is welcome and encouraged. aftercare is also fab, as is the characters enjoying themselves beyond more than just the physical.
MAYBE: shaving, therapy, first time (unless it follows negotiation in which YES), genital torture, electricity
NO: bathroom, non-con (ignoring a safe word), mutilation, death.

[firstbornwinchester]

Character Description: Dean is a hunter, usually tough and doesn't like to delve into how he's feeling, but at his core he has a habit of wanting to please people and being dominated would probably do him some good

KINKS
YES: everything in everyday and almost everything in sexual fine if non con

NO: sexual- 13-16, bathroom, mutilation, death

Ryuugamine Mikado | Durarara!! | OTA

[totallysane]

Character Description: Cute sweet shy small-town 16-year-old. Also happened to start a gang, gets extremely excited about dangerous situations, and can be ruthless when the situation calls for it. For a good example of this dichotomy, he goes to a meeting intending to hurt someone and takes first-aid supplies to bandage them after. Can do dom or sub as requested.
KINKS
YES: All the lifestyle stuff, bondage, humiliation, pain and punishment play, stim play, first time, public, roleplay, orgasm denial, rough sex, older partners.
MAYBE: anything not on either of the other two lists?
NO: Scat, non-con (for this meme), aphrodisiacs or drug use, serious/major injury, characters more than a year or two younger than Mikado.

I'm just gonna improvise the hell out of this one... Poke me if it needs editing!

[kida]

"I'm hoooome~!"

Closing the door behind him, Masaomi places the box of food up on the apartment floor, before taking off his shoes and following after it. It's not that he's trying to bribe Mikado. He's not! But they need to eat at some point, and Masaomi decided that today is a good day for Russian Sushi. They need to treat themselves sometimes - and he wants to treat Mikado.

"I hope you're hungry!"

Loki | MCU | OTA

[coldlies]

Character Description: Loki. Trickster God, betrayer, king of lies, etc. He's not a good person.

I play him from around Avengers but I can do Thor flavor too.

PREFS
I can play Loki as a Dom or sub. As a Dom he'll want complete control and reinforce that control at every turn. As sub, he'll constantly try to manipulate his Dom into doing what he wants. He'll need someone capable of handling him if he's the sub.
He could also be sub for reasons punishment for trying to take over the world. He doesn't need a reason to Dom, he'd gladly do that and only complain that safewords are a thing.

I can work this as an AU to keep it in the spirit of sane, safe and consensual.

KINKS
Completely open to all the options above, for sexual or non. Nonsexual has just as much of an appeal. All the kinks I list are a go for giving or receiving.
YES: D/s, S&M, bondage, orgasm denial/forced orgasm, genital torture, humiliation(public or private), animal play, temperature play, punishment and disciple, toys, leather fetish, clothed sex and well, it's hard to find something that won't be a yes.
MAYBE: scat
NO: Parent/Child incest. If something else comes up I'll red light it OOC.

[avengeme]

"My safeword is Peaches." Coulson explains neutrally as he strips down. "Apples means it's too much but I don't want you to stop." They are in what can be described as a well equipped sex dungeon. Why? Well, that's a long story but basically they are now testing Loki's new found ability to respect boundaries and Coulson gets to be the guinea pig.

"Impact play is fine. Try not to draw blood. And I don't want metal directly against my skin for restraints."

Tomoaki Maeda | Hadaka Shitsuji/Naked Butler | OTA

[temperedsadism]

Character Description: Tomoaki is an average guy who sleeps around just to make ends-meet when he needs it. He identifies as straight, but has curious leanings towards men that he's not sure how to deal with. As he is from early canon, his sadistic streak is mild, his insanity is nonexistent, and either or both will only be brought out if you discuss it OOCly with me first and we agree on what we want from it. He generally prefers it when all parties are enjoying themselves.

KINKS
See the list here: http://www.f-list.net/c/temperedsadism
YES: all from the everyday list. From the sexual list: 1-3, 6-12, 14-17
MAYBE: From the sexual list: 13
NO: From the sexual list: 4.

Leonard McCoy | Star Trek XI | dom or sub

[damnitman]

KINKS
YES: The Everyday: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,10,11
The Sexual: 1,2,3,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,17

MAYBE: The Sexual: 4,5,15,

NO: The Everyday: 8,9
The Sexual: 13,14,16

Ran | Durarara! | Canonmates only

[jealousbro]

9.

[totallysane]

[Tensions are high within the Ikebukuro undreground, as always. There are many things that happen between the members of the various groups that aren't talked about, and sometimes bumping into someone who would otherwise be an enemy in a neutral zone is a thing that happens.

Other times, thrill-seeking teenage boys intentionally set themselves in the path of an enemy, in a place where they can be promised they will wind up - if not unharmed - alive.

This is why at this moment Ryuugamine Mikado, wearing nothing but a collar with a leash attached to it, is standing and looking at a man he knows only by reputation, his tiny hand holding out the end of his leash.]

Excuse me, Izumii-sama.

[The club they're in the middle of is a classy enough place that he can be assured he won't be dragged out, and he believes that he can take - and wants - anything the man could do to him.]

Your brother sent me to serve you tonight, if that's all right.