Why should we make this commitment?

[lumeria]

why should i marry you? 💍 meme

Imagine, if you will, a world where you must convince someone to marry your character. What do they bring to the hypothetical table that is sure to win all comers?

That world is this world. It's this meme. You have one shot to marry off your character. ONE subject line. The rest of their life depends on it. Their life depends on it!

(Am I implying they'll die if they don't get someone to marry them? Well. I'm not-not saying a painful end will come their way...

Don't hold me to anything. Just plead a case! You don't have time to worry about the specifics, do you?)

how to play:
- What it says.
- Why should ANYONE marry your character?
- Put it. Go ooooon. Put it.
- So. Volunteers? Anyone out there?

Comments

Cassie Cage | Mortal Kombat | OTA

[nutkrusher]

Um...rich, hot, asskicking babe who is very athletic and flexible? The better question is, are you even good enough to be asking that?

[arasakadogs]

And these qualities would endure decades of marriage?

[nutkrusher]

Hell yeah, they would. You seen my parents? They call 'em the KILFs.

[arasakadogs]

"Kilfs"? I am unfamiliar with this term.

[nutkrusher]

Kombatants I'd Like to Fuck.

I mean, I wouldn't, they're my parents, but people would.

[arasakadogs]

Yes, that seems like an important clarification. So you fight. What else?

[nutkrusher]

Well, let's see, there's also charm, sense of humor, and style. And I speak four languages.

[arasakadogs]

Mm. Which ones?

[nutkrusher]

Well, besides English, there's Mandarin, Cantonese, and Japanese. Plus an Angeleno's casual grasp of Spanish.

[arasakadogs]

Impressive. And what would you look for in a spouse, then?

[nutkrusher]

To be honest, I'm not really looking at getting married right now.

Buuuuuut in that one game I was in where I did, he was strong, gentle-hearted, laughed at my jokes, and blushed really cutely at my flirting.

[arasakadogs]

Even so, it is good to know what you like, yes? (as if he has any idea himself.)

[nutkrusher]

Sure is. I guess that means I should be on the lookout for guys with purple hair that are good with swords and can fly.

[arasakadogs]

That...is quite the narrow pool.

[nutkrusher]

I mean, sure, but the pool consists of just one guy so far.

I guess I'd be willing to take two out of three. One, if they're cute.

[arasakadogs]

How mature of you to compromise. (his sarcastic tone betrays an otherwise serious expression.)

[nutkrusher]

Hey, me and Trunks are fuckin' adorable in that timeline. Any other game's version of me, I'm gonna want something as much like that as possible.

[hooked_on_kaballin]

Are you even old enough to get married? Do your parents know you're here?

[Cassie seems to have acquired a protective uncle she never had or wanted.]

[nutkrusher]

Don't worry, Grandma, I'll make sure the reception dinner starts before 4:30.

[hooked_on_kaballin]

How kind of you to think so highly of your elders. Is there an open bar?

[nutkrusher]

Depends on if I think I can trust the people there with an open bar.

[hooked_on_kaballin]

You can trust me with an open bar.

[Can she, though?]

[nutkrusher]

Can I, though?

[The statement does demand this response.]

[hooked_on_kaballin]

Yeah! My metabolism is crazy. If I get shit faced, It won't be for long.

[He'll just have to...drink more to keep the buzz going.]

[nutkrusher]

Or you'll drink the whole bar dry.

[She shakes her head, as though to clear it.]

I don't even know why we're even talking about this, this is strictly a hypothetical reception.

[hooked_on_kaballin]

[Shit. She's onto him.]

Or that. It is anyone's guess, really!

I'd hypothetically bring you a great hypothetical gift to your hypothetical reception.

[nutkrusher]

Well, I'm not sure how I hypothetically feel about you being there, but...I hypothetically accept the free shit you would give me.

[hooked_on_kaballin]

Sweet. Always happy to help.

[How did he help, exactly? It is a mystery.]

[nutkrusher]

[Now picturing the Leonard Nimoy "my work here is done" scene, but he speed dashes away instead.]

[hooked_on_kaballin]

[And so he shall with a little salute before disappearing with a purple puff of smoke.]

The Swede | Our Flag Means Death | M/M

[ourlittlenordicangel]

I... will share my cookie... with you? [ He holds it out, hopefully. ]

[thrashingdragon]

Does that usually work for you?

[ourlittlenordicangel]

I never try before... [ This pretty young man will not wanting a smelly, ugly pirate! It will not work today. He sniffs. ]

[thrashingdragon]

[ No, definitely not going to work. But he is curious. ]
Then why try it now? I mean, is it just the one cookie?

[ourlittlenordicangel]

I only have one cookie? And I was thinking... ooh, I loff cookies, I will share. Maybe I will find a husband. [ He smiles shyly. Thinking is hard! ]

[thrashingdragon]

You'll probably be happier if you just eat the cookie yourself. Most people can probably just get their own cookies. I have like three in my pocket right now.
[ Because who doesn't keep cookies in their pockets? ]

What do you even need a husband for anyway?

[ourlittlenordicangel]

Oh... okej. [ Realizing he now has a yummy cookie, he starts to nibble it. Swede misses two teeth so it is a little messy! But he is happy. ]

A... all my crewmates are pairing up... I will be left all alone?

[thrashingdragon]

[ Ooh, it's snack time!? Then he'll eat a chocolate pocket cookie, though with more teeth and less mess. But whatever. ]

You can think of it as being free? Liiiike if you see someone cute somewhere, you're not tied down?
[ He has no idea what pirates do or where they go. ]

[ourlittlenordicangel]

B... but... no one will want me... [ Aw, he is so shy! But at least he has a yummy cookie. They all having a cookie. ]

I want to find loff too...?

[thrashingdragon]

[ Shrug. ]

I doubt that. Why wouldn't anyone want you? You seem nice enough. Anyway, you can love many people, you know.

[ourlittlenordicangel]

Ooh... thank you! I... I can loff more than one person? Really? [ Swede blushes visibly. ]

[thrashingdragon]

[ He smiles excitedly. ]
Of course you can, as many as you want! It's a great way to celebrate life! Probably the best way.
Plus you'll never be lonely~

[ourlittlenordicangel]

B... but I am so shy... I have not even held hands! [ The pirate nervously twirls his hair. ]

[thrashingdragon]

What, really!? But you're so...
[ Oh, wait. You can't just go around calling people old, right? Someone said that recently. ]
Well, you are kind of cute. Have you even tried!?

[ourlittlenordicangel]

...I am old, ja? [ Swede does look older, possibly, than he is because of the rough life at sea. He is probably in his forties somewhere. ]

N-me? No... I never tried before... [ C-cute? He gasps. ]

[thrashingdragon]

I mean... probably not?
[ Honestly, Chiaki shouldn't be calling anyone old anyway. He is almost eighty, after all. ]

Uh... so why haven't you? Okay, what have you tried?

[ourlittlenordicangel]

Ooh... I am too shy! [ He is now nervously eyeing his hands. They're not ugly hands at least, he has the piano fingers. ]

[thrashingdragon]

[ He holds out his hands, then, offering them. ]

Here, try now?