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Make it special.

THE ❝FIRST TIME❞ MEME

RULES!
♥ Leave a comment with your character's name and fandom.
♥ When replying, RNG for a number between 1 and 7. The number you get corresponds with the kind of "first time" sex you're having
♥ Go from there! The sky's the limit.

THE LIST!

01] Romantic | You waited and waited and waited for the right moment to take this final step with your partner, and it really paid off; neither of you can imagine this night (or day!) to be any better than it is right now.

02] The Only Time | You know somewhere in your heart that you won't be getting a second chance for this. The relationship is forbidden, or they're moving away, or you're moving away, or something is tearing this relationship apart, and that may be the last thing you want.

03] Set-Up | ... Oh. Well. Someone nudged you and this other person together, the one that you may have loved or hated or been friends with your entire life. It isn't completely by choice, but it doesn't sound like that bad of an idea... Or maybe it does. Who knows?

04] Experience Difference | One of you knows exactly what to do, and the other doesn't! Maybe they're just a natural at this kind of thing... or maybe there's a thing or two they haven't told you yet.

05] Hesitant | One (or both) of you aren't quite sure if you're ready for this next big step... at the same time, you want this to happen, though the thought makes butterflies flutter around in the pit of your stomach.

06] Awkward | It feels like everything that can go wrong does go wrong. Relax? You can't relax! This is s-s-s-s-sex-- oh, boy, there's another mistake.

07] Wildcard | This is the "other" option. Choose any of the above or create your own!

[credit goes to

connikebox]

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Is that really true? Or just what you tell the cameras?

[ Sorry, Hiyori. He's a cynic. ]

You can't value them all. I'm sure your manager has some intern going through all of them and tossing half of them. Or do they make you sign form letters to send back?

Huh?

[His smile slips.]

I don't see any cameras here! And that's an awfully rude assumption! I might not have time to check too often, but I try to read them all...

[He's not lying. Of course the ideal idol known as Hiyori Tomoe is a construct; he's not chaste, for one thing, like idols are supposed to be. And as Jun pointed out at one point, he has a "sloppy side" that might surprise some fans.

But he does care about them, even the ones he's never met and never will meet.]

All the letters have value, because all my fans have value. They're the people who love me and believe in me, after all. And because they love us and believe in us, we can love ourselves and believe in ourselves! It's a circle of love! You're not heartless enough to deny us that, are you?

It's show business.

[ Elan replies with a little shrug. He notices the way the smile slips and a part of him feels a twinge of guilt. He sits up, propping himself on his arm as he waves a hand to try and clarify. ]

We all put on our masks and go to work and you smile for the cameras and you perform, but... it's for a paycheck. It's all a show. Actually enjoying all of that cloying attention...

[ He shrugs. ]

They don't love you, they love what they think you are. [ He... has a lot of hangups about this. ]

[He cocks an eyebrow. Who is Elan-kun to tell him what he does and doesn't enjoy? (And what exactly gave off the impression he doesn't like attention...?)

But that last line makes him pause, taking a moment to survey Elan-kun before opening his mouth. Was that the voice of experience just now...? He still doesn't know what sort of job Elan-kun escaped from, but whoever was employing him clearly didn't treat him well.

He'd be surprised if it was anything show business-related, though. Even though Elan-kun has the looks for it.]

The paycheck isn't so important, honestly... My family's not what it used to be, but we still have quite a bit of money to our name. I'd say the fame is more useful, if we're talking about material gain.

[But he's gained more than just that. He gained a purpose, a dream... a little makeshift family. The two people he loves most in the world are fellow members of his unit: two wonderful, special boys. And he gets to chase his dreams alongside them every day, along with some other guy. Has Elan-kun ever known such happiness?

No, surely not. Which is why Hiyori's not out to pick a fight with him.]

But I see what you're trying to say. You're saying they love my persona and not me, right? But what if my persona is me—or rather, what if it's a part of me? The me you saw in those videos isn't a wholly separate person, you know. Wherever I am, I'm still me: the dazzling existence called Hiyori Tomoe.

[Can he call himself a "dazzling existence" with a completely straight face? Apparently yes.]

[ Hiyori really does believe that with all his heart. Elan doesn't know how he feels about it, except for a reflexive cynical, disgusted sort of feeling that anyone could really believe that such a thing was genuine. He spent so much of his life pretending to be someone else, wearing a face that wasn't even his. It's all fake, in the end, isn't it? His expression settles into something a bit blank and distant and he rolls onto his back to look at the ceiling instead. ]

I don't know whether to be happy that you actually believe that. You're you. You get to be that, even in front of that camera.

[ He scoffs quietly. ]

But it's still pretending, in the end. You wouldn't really want to be surrounded by those fans all the time. You'd grow tired of them. Cloying. That's what they are.

[ He's... not exactly projecting. But he's trying to deflect away from him. ]

[Hiyori says nothing to that first bit, quietly studying Elan while he scoffs. If he was hoping to deflect away from himself, however, it's not working. What he's saying just makes Hiyori more curious, since he sounds as though he's talking from experience.]

Well, anyone would grow tired of meeting with fans all day long, but our events only last a few hours at most...

[Does it grow tiring? Being loved and adored? For Hiyori, not really—he always craves love, even as he shies away from serious commitments.

But Elan's words remind him of an earlier time in his life: one where he walked around school surrounded by fans and "followers." A time when the girls loved him, and most people at school looked up to him. All that attention should've pleased him, but instead it left him feeling empty most of the time. Why is that?

It was because he couldn't stand tall back then. Because he wasn't happy with himself or his old unit. He couldn't take pride in his work, or in himself as an idol—not when he and his friends were stepping on others' dreams to achieve their own ends. All that attention from girls, or whoever else, just felt fake.

Is that the sort of thing Elan-kun is talking about...?]

Does Elan-kun have fans?

[His curiosity leads him to ask, rolling onto his side and leaning back on the other pillow.]

I can see why your looks would earn you a few fans. And you said something to that effect before, I think? Though I can't recall your exact words...

There were fans, but not for me.

[ He shrugs. It's difficult to explain without getting into a lot of sordid details. But he supposes he can nibble around the edges. ]

My old job... I put on a face that wasn't my own and went out and pretended to be a perfect little prince.

[ Hiyori will probably take that as more metaphor than literal face-wearing. ]

It was that or end up somewhere unpleasant.

[ He clasps his hands over his chest and frowns. ]

...there wasn't any room for me in there. Just the person I had to be.

Edited 2023-11-05 21:10 (UTC)

[Nope, no literal face-wearing. Hiyori's sure he doesn't mean that. But he might know a thing or two about what Elan really means.

Ironically, it's not because of work. Instead, he's thinking about his childhood: growing up in a noble household, and being expected to act in a certain way. If he didn't meet those expectations, there was usually a tongue-lashing awaiting. And was there "room" for the real him in there? Well, as a child, he didn't know who "he" even was.

Still, Elan's situation is different, and he still can't grasp it. When Elan talked about being tired and overworked, and said he never got to do things like eat ice cream or see a nice view, Hiyori imagined something like a factory worker, or some poor boy in a sweatshop. No one would be expected to act like a "perfect prince" in such a grueling environment, though, so it sounds like Elan's job was something along other lines. Some public-facing position? He just isn't sure what that would be.

But if Elan-kun wanted to tell him, he'd tell him. Right?

Hiyori mulls those words over seriously before he responds. In the end, his conclusion is this:]

Well, that's no fair at all.

[Stated matter-of-factly.]

I got to choose my role. Becoming an idol was a precious dream of mine—one I shared with a dear friend. But it sounds like your role was forced on you by some awful authority...

[But he faces Elan with a bracing smile.]

I'm just glad you got away in the end. It won't be simple, of course, but you can start living your life for yourself now, right? Perhaps one day, you'll even find a dream of your own to chase.

My only dream was to get away from all of that. Which I've done. And now I get to figure out what I want to do next.

[ He's not exactly apologizing, but he's at least not being as much of a sourpuss about it. ]

If it's your dream, enjoy it. Even if I don't really understand the appeal.

[ He's had enough of being on a "stage". He wants a life for himself now. ]

I will, thanks ♪

[Said with only a bit of sarcasm.

There's a small smile on his lips and a contemplative look in his eyes as he surveys Elan-kun. Although Hiyori and his huge ego hate to be looked down on, he's not truly mad. Elan is still reeling from some bad experiences. And Hiyori can't claim to truly know how he feels—not when he's been blessed with such an easy life by comparison.

Still, the first thing Elan said does trigger a memory.

"We may not know our destination yet, but as long as we're together..."]

... I'd like to show you one more song, if that's alright. Just to end things on.

...one more song?

[ He eyes Hiyori for a long moment and then shrugs. ]

Sure. It can't hurt, can it?

[He takes a second to pull up the song on his phone.]

This is Jun-kun's center song. We filmed the video just the other month. I know you said he's not really your type, at least not as much as I am, but I do think you might get something out of it...

[And with that, he hits play on EXCEED.

The video's a bit different from their usual style, less glamorous and more "cool." Instead of focusing on the two senior members, the camera lingers more on Ibara and especially Jun, who gets in some cool dance moves as well as some rapping. It makes Hiyori smile to watch, even though he's already seen it a lot, because Jun sure has grown; when Hiyori first picked him up and invited him to join the unit, why, he didn't have any formal training at all. So is this just an excuse to show off his partner?

No. Showing off Jun is a bonus; this is one he picked for the lyrics. Lyrics that speak of living in darkness and crawling up from the bottom of a ravine. Lyrics about living on empty dreams, hoping for a future that may never come. Lyrics about being devoured by despair.

But the four members of Eden encourage the listener, don't give up! "Break your limit." "Exceed the imagination." "Cut through the darkness." Grab a pair of wings and fly. The song is full of such refrains, ending on a line about overcoming despair and looking up to the faraway sky.

It's a meaningful song, at least to Hiyori. It's a song Ibara wrote to encourage Jun, and give voice to his struggles. A song that Eden performs to encourage all their fans. And a song that Hiyori hopes will strike a chord with Elan-kun—even though there's probably a better chance he'll just dismiss it as more "fake" idol stuff. That might be the most likely outcome, but he thought it was worth a shot!]

[ Elan listens. He sits and he watches and actually tries to let the lyrics settle in him, even if he's not really all that sure that he thinks he's going to buy into any of this. It's... not a bad song. And he thinks he gets the message that Hiyori is trying to give him. Although it's hard to miss, considering how direct the song is with the lyrics. He sighs softly as it starts to wind down and gives Hiyori a look that's somewhere between fond and exasperated. ]

Alright, I get it. I hear the message you're trying to give me.

[ He waves a hand. ]

If I tell you I don't plan on giving up on myself anytime soon will that be enough?

[Ah, his message got through. Or Jun's message. ... Or was it Ibara's message, since he wrote the lyrics?

No. It was their message.]

Yep.

[He meets that look with a fond expression of his own, tucking his phone away for good this time.]

It's good enough for now. Everything else can fall into place at a later date.

[Like Elan-kun finding his own dream. There probably won't be anyone to drive up to Elan in a car, passing him their business card and offering him a brand new dream, like there was for Hiyori. But he has faith he'll find something!]

I guess it can.

[ He runs a hand through his hair with a sigh. ]

I do have time now. More time than I know what to do with...

[ He definitely doesn't want mysterious strangers in cars handing him business cards. He's done with corporate life, thank you. ]

Any suggestions?

[Hiyori will make sure never to introduce him to Ibara (aka the guy with the business card).

Though if he did introduce Elan-kun as "his cute date he took to a love hotel," Ibara's reaction would surely be priceless.]

Hmm, well, there's that whole onsen trip you mentioned before! But there's also a lot else you could do, too. Like traveling—I know that's what Nagisa-kun did when he was feeling a bit lost. Or you could look for a hobby! If you don't have one in mind, you could always cycle through them until you find one that sticks. Art, music, flower arrangement, reading books, shopping for cute earrings...

[He rattles off some stuff at random, one hand on his chin as he thinks through the possibilities. Then a new one occurs to him, and his eyes light up with excitement.]

Or, perhaps you could climb a mountain! That's too much effort for me most days, but it would provide a lovely view. What does Elan-kun think?

Maybe I'll just travel the world and look for scenic viewpoints.

[ Which is not entirely sarcastic, honestly. ]

But I'll figure out something. Whatever it is I end up getting myself into, anyway.

Ah, the life of an explorer, huh? Sounds nice~ ♪

[He smiles, accepting that answer readily.]

I'll look forward to hearing all about it next time we meet. Let's keep in touch, alright?

Sure. I can give you my contact information.

[ He flails for his phone on the bedside table. He agreed way too fast, didn't he? But - well.

He does want to see him again. ]

Great! ♪

[A quick agreement works just fine for him. Why shouldn't Elan-kun want to give his number? Hiyori takes his own phone back out, punching in the number to create a new contact. Ah, and what's the new contact, you ask?

He tilts his phone afterwards, showing off the name on the screen.

All set~♪

[The new contact, simply, is "Elan-kun."

... with a duck emoji next to the name. 🦆 <--- It's a reference to the little ducktail at the back of his head! Not that Hiyori explains his reasoning. He simply beams.]

[ For his part, it's just "Hiyori", although he's gone ahead and added a musical note emoji. He eyes Hiyori's phone for a moment. ]

...why is there a duck?

[ He's going to regret asking this. ]

It's because of your ducktail! You know, that little bit that sticks out at the back of your head!

[Just to give a reminder, he reaches around Elan's head briefly, feeling around for that little tuft of hair.]

That's why!

[Does Elan regret adding his number yet?]

...is it really that prominent?

[ He can't believe he's done this. ]

Nope, I wouldn't say so! For starters, you can only see it from behind! But the fact it's not too noticeable just makes it an even better choice, don't you think? Like an inside joke between you and me...♪

An inside joke...

[ He snorts. ]

Sure. We can call it that. You'll have to make do with a music note, I'm afraid.

Make it special.

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sorry for el5n

no need to apologize! it's a fun topic

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