There were many reasons why Clint hadn’t killed her that day, yet when asked he always simply said that he had seen her worth and decided she could be an asset to S.H.I.E.L.D., better off alive than dead, that it would be a waste to kill her. True, but not entirely; there were much deeper reasons as well.
He had seen it in her eyes then, that she was ready to accept death, that she believed she deserved it, and nobody that believed that was without remorse, without the possibility of redemption. She would have welcomed death so readily he couldn’t help but wonder if she had ever truly lived. From the reports he had read on her her whole life she had been engineered to be a bringer of pain and death. Had she ever truly known pleasure? Happiness? Seemed a shame to die never having felt true kindness.
Above all the other reasons, though, was a much more personal one; when he had looked at her he had seen himself, what he could have become had things been different. Both of them had had terrible childhoods, neither of them knowing the love of family. They had been manipulated, moulded, used. Yes, her situation had been so much worse in some ways but he had still felt that connection, had still felt that overwhelming need to help her.
Clint still hadn’t quite decided if it was a good decision or not. He had gotten in deep shit for defying orders and throwing his assignment but his conscience was clear... at least in this instance. Besides, she had turned out to prove his point about her being an asset, and nobody could deny that they made an exceptional team. Now if only he could shake the feeling that she secretly wanted to gut him for his jokes and commentary while they worked...
“Natasha,” he greeted as he stepped into the lift before moving to stand silently beside her. Soon enough the silence deepened when everything suddenly ground to a screeching halt, killing the lights and the horrible elevator music. “You gotta be kidding me,” he muttered as the backup lights kicked in, but still they didn’t move and Natasha’s pressing the emergency button didn’t seem to be doing any good. “State of the art vehicles and weaponry and they can’t install and elevator that works.”
no subject
He had seen it in her eyes then, that she was ready to accept death, that she believed she deserved it, and nobody that believed that was without remorse, without the possibility of redemption. She would have welcomed death so readily he couldn’t help but wonder if she had ever truly lived. From the reports he had read on her her whole life she had been engineered to be a bringer of pain and death. Had she ever truly known pleasure? Happiness? Seemed a shame to die never having felt true kindness.
Above all the other reasons, though, was a much more personal one; when he had looked at her he had seen himself, what he could have become had things been different. Both of them had had terrible childhoods, neither of them knowing the love of family. They had been manipulated, moulded, used. Yes, her situation had been so much worse in some ways but he had still felt that connection, had still felt that overwhelming need to help her.
Clint still hadn’t quite decided if it was a good decision or not. He had gotten in deep shit for defying orders and throwing his assignment but his conscience was clear... at least in this instance. Besides, she had turned out to prove his point about her being an asset, and nobody could deny that they made an exceptional team. Now if only he could shake the feeling that she secretly wanted to gut him for his jokes and commentary while they worked...
“Natasha,” he greeted as he stepped into the lift before moving to stand silently beside her. Soon enough the silence deepened when everything suddenly ground to a screeching halt, killing the lights and the horrible elevator music. “You gotta be kidding me,” he muttered as the backup lights kicked in, but still they didn’t move and Natasha’s pressing the emergency button didn’t seem to be doing any good. “State of the art vehicles and weaponry and they can’t install and elevator that works.”