Buy, buy

[feudalfairytales]

SELL ME YOUR CHARACTER

The Question: Why should anyone want to date/ship with/be in a relationship/fall in love with yours?
The Challenge: Answer that question under the character limit for a Dreamwidth comment subject header.

✱ Comment with your character. In the body of the comment, feel free to either link a picture of your character or leave it blank.
✱ THE CATCH IS THIS! Don't put the usual mumbo jumbo in the subject. Instead, sell us on your character by summing them up in an appealing (or funny, or dumb) way! IE, Bruce Wayne could be "rich Daddy with a love for costumes." Paul Atreides or Luke Skywalker could be "cute space messiah." YOU GET THE PICTURE.
✱ Everyone, including your character, can see the tagline.
✱ Any takers?

Comments

Wannabe Sappho but travel-sized for your convenience.

[victoryclaimed]

[ Someone, explain to her who Sappho is. ]

Idiot lesbian desperate to be liked

[shrieking_violet]

tall sleepy sports boy who will roast your enemies* like gourmet coffee beans

[kunimeh]

((*will also roast you but y'know, a lighter roast))

Enjoys coffee and bacon in the morning, also plays jazz

[lifewithnoconsequence]

[ourlittlenordicangel]

Do you like to share the bacon? [ Bacon friends, ja? ]

[lifewithnoconsequence]

[There's a short shrug that follows the question.]

Knock yourself out. There's usually plenty to go around for everyone. Same with the coffee.

[ourlittlenordicangel]

Ohhh... I am happy, I was being very hungry. [ Swede is usually too shy to approach strangers b-but bacon. He clumsily makes coffee and then takes a few pieces of bacon. He wants to just eat all of it but Captain wouldn't approve. ]

Large strongfriend who gives amazing hugs.

[calrippedso]

[joyfuljulie]

Oh! You like hugs too? That's wonderful!

[Says the tiny blonde. She tops out at a healthy 3'5" meaning she's really craning her head up. She's used to it though and waves once the other woman looks down.]

Hello! I'm Julie Joyful! I also like hugs!

Confused but happy to be here pirate

[ourlittlenordicangel]

[joyfuljulie]

[Julie laughs brightly.]

Mm, I'm confused too. It's fun though!

[ourlittlenordicangel]

Oh... ja! Are you also being confused, all the time?

[ It is fun! Just... just confusing. Swede smiles shyly at his new friend. ]

[joyfuljulie]

Pretty much.

[Such an honest answer!]

One moment I'm in one place, another moment I'm somewhere else. Really though I don't mind that much since I've gotten to meet a lot of new neighbors.

[ourlittlenordicangel]

Me as well... I do not know what is happening? [ It is so nice that someone understands! ]

Maybe you are also on a ship? [ Or- or is her house moving? Swede tilts his head. ]

[joyfuljulie]

No, I've never been on a boat. Is it fun? They look like fun in books. What sort of boat is it?

[She's full of questions as she always is for new neighbors.]

Before I was here I was in the neighborhood I live in, Home. [She was, yes. Where else would she be? Haha it's silly to think she'd be anywhere else.] Is a ship your home then?

[ourlittlenordicangel]

Ooh... it is a big one... but not very big... but not very small. You would loff it! [ Swede fidgets with his shirt, trying to explain. ] The ship... is not my home... my barrel is. But my barrel is on the ship.

[ He smiles toothily. ] That sounds nice. You are not being lost? [ Not that he's much help there! But he'd try. ]

[joyfuljulie]

Oh! I see! That's wonderful!

[Julie claps her hands. A barrel! Sure she lives in a house typically but a barrel on a ship sounds just as exciting to her.]

Mm ... well, I think it's more that I'm on a "journey" maybe? I met a friend from Home that I meant to bring with me to meet others too but I think he might be lost instead.

[She does sound sorrowful for that. Poor Wally, she didn't know where he had disappeared to but she hopes he's alright. He's bound to have found good neighbors though because he's Wally Darling. Everyone loves Wally! <3]

[ourlittlenordicangel]

[ Swede is also a little bit lost because he definitely isn't on the ship or in his barrel. But some peoples here are nice to him, he's been fed a few times and even got a nice, warm pair of socks once. ]

Am I also on a journey? D... do you want halp... finding your friend? [ Swede is a good Swede, just a little funny looking and worn out by a hard life at sea but hopefully she is not scared of him. ]

[joyfuljulie]

You could be! Do you feel like you are? For me it seems to make more sense at least.

[Oh! Julie takes a moment to press her hands to her cheeks.]

How sweet of you! Helping someone else is always a good thing so I would appreciate it.

[She reaches up and takes hold of one of his hands without the least bit of hesitation. Julie is all of 3'5" and likely doesn't much more than reach his waist. She's as confident as can be!]

Do you have any friends that you miss? Maybe we can look for them too!

[ourlittlenordicangel]

[ Swede is over six foot and not really understanding why new friend is so small! He does have a puppet but his puppet is smaller than her and made of wood and not moving and everything. He does not think Julie is a puppet and sweetly holds her hand. Best friends! ]

Oh... ja... I think I am lost...

[ He smiles shyly upon being told he is being sweet and then fidgets some more, thinking. ] My crewmates are all somewhere else? Maybe... they are also being lost!

[joyfuljulie]

If they're here they certainly are. We'll be sure to run across them though at some point!

[She looks up at him now curiously.]

What do they look like? I can tell you about my neighbors too!

[ourlittlenordicangel]

T... they do not look like me... [ Swede's crewmates all look different! ] Captain is also blonde... but not as blonde as me... and having curly hair... and... Frenchie is having light brown skin and black hair and Lucius has brown hair and green eyes... and he is pale... and Pete is having bald... everyone looks different. There are many crewmates. They all have names. I do not have a name?

[ He has about fifteen to twenty crewmates, sometimes someone joins or leaves. He smiles. ] W... what do your neighbors look like?

[joyfuljulie]

[Julie is fairly attentive as he describes his crewmates. When he mentions he doesn't have a name though she looks curious again.]

Oh! What would you like for me to call you then? Should we think up a name together?

[She's just throwing out ideas here.]

Oh they don't look like me either, hehe. There's Wally -- he's got blue hair and is just the nicest guy you'll ever meet! He loves to paint! Then there's Frank -- he always has a vest on and just loves butterflies and bugs. He's my best friend!

[Julie breaks into a bright smile as she says that. She ticks people off on her free hand.]

Then there's Sally -- she's a star so you'll know it's her by her radiant glow. And Eddie, he's our mailman so he always had his mailbag with him. Howdy is our grocer -- he's a caterpillar and very, very tall. Almost twice my size if not more! So is Barnaby -- he's big and blue and has the best jokes. Then there's Poppy -- she cooks for everyone in the neighborhood and worries about us all too. She's got lots of soft feathers too, it's just a shame you can't style feathers like you can hair.

[Oh, and then the most important one!]

There's Home too, Wally's house. I'm not sure if you'll get to meet them though, they're a house and all so I can't imagine traveling would be easy for them. Or good either. Though maybe it showed up with Wally?

[Because frankly Julie can't imagine Wally Darling without his sentient house named Home. Imagining Wally anywhere but in the neighborhood is rough too though. The times are definitely changing!]

[ourlittlenordicangel]

T... they sound so much fun... I also... want to live there... is it maybe okej if I come live there... but- but I do not have any coins. I loff to sing though... maybe... can sing and then they stay there. Are you already having a soprano singer? [ Though, to a 17th century pirate, all this would usually be confusing and scary, to the Swede it sounds like a nice place where everyone is colorful and friendly. More fun than being a pirate, ja? Could he live there and be known as tall blonde man who loves to sing and lives in a barrel? That'd be so nice. Sniff. ] You are having so many friends!

I don't think... I can think of my own name... I think when I do, my crewmates say there already is someone named that. It is very confusing. [ Still he smiles at his new little friend. She is so nice! He kind of just wants to go with her to this magical happy place, honestly.

But... but he isn't a puppet. He isn't at all cute looking or sweet looking either. He just looks like a random Swedish man. He wouldn't fit in! B-but on the inside... he probably would belong there. Maybe they'd understand Swede's shyness or that he wants to be a mermaid. ]

Would your friends... not tease me? They sound like they loff everyone. [ Because Swede is so simple, he does get teased and ignored most of the time. He is always the one being used as target practice and the first they considered eating when marooned. ]

[joyfuljulie]

Coins?

[For a moment Julie looks mystified but then it occurs to her once more that money is a thing. Not one she knows a lot about but --]

You don't need anything like that for the neighborhood. You're already a neighbor after all, everyone is! I'm sure Sally would love to hear you sing. She loves to sing and put on plays, sometimes the rest of us act in them.

[As for teasing, well. She tilts her head.]

Why would they tease you? We tease each other sometimes but that's just for fun, we'd never be mean to a neighbor like that.

[Well, that she remembers anyhow. Some of Julie's memories are very fuzzy.]

[ourlittlenordicangel]

Ooh... that sound like fun! I am already a neighbor, really? [ Swede smiles, he is so happy and even a little bit less nervous, now. Then, he motions at himself. ]

I am being ugly... and... dumb... and silly looking... I do a lot of mistakes... [ He has scurvy and misses some teeth and finger nails, which doesn't help. He is very shy talking about everything wrong with him... what if Julie no longer wants to be his friend? What if he can't be a neighbor?

But he knows Julie is nice enough that she will not mind a funny looking friend, ja? After all, she is also friend with a caterpillar! ]

[joyfuljulie]

[For a moment or two Julie blinks at him again. Then her expression softens a bit.]

You look like you, don't you? I've got horns myself, see?

[Here she taps one of her little candy corn colored horns.]

And I've got lots and lots of hair. That's just who I am! And you are who you are!

[Mhm. She nods her head like she's an authority on this.]

No one looks ugly or dumb or silly. They just look like themselves!

[That said she laughs brightly.]

Oh golly, we all make mistakes! Sometimes they're little ones and sometimes they're big but that's nothing to feel bad about.

[ourlittlenordicangel]

Oh... ja... you are right! But you are having cute horns... and pretty hair. [ The Swede smiles a little bigger. Swede looks like swede? No one is ugly or dumb looking or silly looking... ja, that makes sense. ]

Everyone is... good... how they are? Me- me as well?

I am happy... is it true that everyone makes mistakes? [ He never felt so welcome in his life. Miss Julie is so nice! ]

When I am living in your neighborhood... I will always visit you. You are my first best friend. [ He always wanted a real friend but his fellow pirates just did not enjoy his company. His sweetness, shy nature and everything Swede only annoyed the others... but he did not know why. Maybe he will fit in better with his new friends? ]

Loves games! And hugs! And making friends! She'll be the best neighbor ever for you. <3

[joyfuljulie]

[Also she's all of 3'5" so please be sure not to trip on her.]

Anarchist robotic wizard who loves killing facists.

[anarchyrules]

And that is nought but the start f my many fascinating traits.

[pleple]

...you could kill a lot of them where I come from.

[ He seems very much like the sort to see through the Federation's veneer... although her own side would also get destroyed.

All this coming from a ten year old. ]

[anarchyrules]

There are, unfortunately, many of them to kill in numerous places, child. But as they say, should someone love their job, they shall never work a day.

[ Deadlock's claws are unusually dexterous despite the nine-inch nails he's sporting, shuffling a deck of cards with needless complexity. ]

Tell me more.

[pleple]

[ He really is something else. Like nothing she's seen before. ]

On the one hand, the Earth Federation. They hide behind a veil of democracy and respectability, while economically exploiting the majority of the population living in space. When it comes down to it, they never fail to use violence to enforce this social order.

On the other hand, Zeon and its successors try to beat them at their own game with even stricter social hierarchy and more audacious acts of violence. ...and, well, trying to clone super-soldiers.

[ She gestures to herself. ]

small swamp hag man who eats weeds like a goat, waves his hands at your dick to heal you

[gumboots]

[he


cannot confirm or deny these accusations]

The only god who won't try to fry you for picking another god's blessings over his

[messageforyou]

What can I say? My family's easily offended.

The OG femme fatale who's also the OG daddy's girl.

[guillotin]

Feral good boy, will fistfight the world for people he cares about

[lasthungrywolf]