bakerstreet | DWRPers may have a little suffering, as a treat.

DWRPers may have a little suffering, as a treat.

The Painful Secret Pining Meme

You've been with them for a long time - years, perhaps, maybe even their whole life. More than that, you served as a true friend and supporter. No one could be as dedicated as you are, and you're content to stay in the shadows and let them shine if it just means you can stay by their side a little longer.

But you're not a perfect saint or a martyr of friendship. There are somewhat selfish undertones to your loyalty. You love them.

You feel like you’ve loved them forever, yet while it’s a great affection - no, “great” is probably not enough - in your heart, these feelings are your secret, kept away from everyone…possibly from the object of your desire themself! After all, you couldn’t burden them with anything like that. So, you’ll allow your own emotions to come in second place.

Of course, you haven’t allowed yourself to figure out how this could come back to haunt you in the end, could you? What about when your love moves on to someone who’s “more than a friend?” They won’t need you as much any more. Can you take into account the moment when you snap and can’t hold back the truth any more? And even if you’re really “together,” others won’t know if you keep your relationship under lock and key, and you’ll have to endure others approaching your lover.

Then again, the shoe could be on the other foot. You could be the side being pined after. Will you ever realize your friend’s feelings; if you do, can you return them? After you are certain that you do, will it be too late? Can one burst of passion lead you both to something that changes your relationship forever?

Basically, it’s a meme about (one-sided) love one friend has for another over a long time. Devotion, angst, all that.
Thread out withheld desires, stoic facades, attempts at leaving this all behind, anger, awkwardness, breaking down, confessions, and all that.
Comment with your character and preferences. You might want to include your smut/no smut status.
Mention if you’d like your character to be the pining or the pined for.

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[ open to either role. ]

I badly hurt kids I was not trying to hurt. But I did.

(my white whale for this is hanako arasaka but ota)

I badly hurt kids that didn't deserve it. I was just mad.

( m/m. either role. )

[ What did he do? [

Mortals should be off limits. And yet.

And yet there is one that has captured the Night Immortal's attention. He's allowed himself to grow a little distracted in favor of coming down as often as possible just to watch. It's irresponsible, but at the very least, Runyu only gives into his desires to watch Xiao Xingchen when the night's rotations are simple enough for his attendants to see to them without him.

But it feels different tonight, when he comes to visit. He lets himself be seen when Xingchen seems to need him most, stepping in to protect him from an attack that could have ended his precious, beautiful life.

While Xingchen is a skilled Cultivator with motions so graceful he almost seems more fairy or spirit than man, he can't see every attack coming his way. The blow Runyu blocks could have killed him and Xingchen isn't too proud to avoid that fact. Instead he makes sure they are safe before bowing to Runyu lowly, his hands cupped before him in submission.

"I thank you." he glances up and gets a better view of Runyu, his eyes widening. Memories of a book his Master kept rush back to him. There had been a painting in the middle - of the Night Immortal. Could this be - ?

Edited 2023-05-05 01:03 (UTC)

Perhaps there is something more than mere human to this gentle man. Runyu thinks there might, though he's never let himself get close enough to check before. Now...maybe he dares?

He watches a moment to make sure Xingchen is safe before turning. He smiles gently, feeling the shocking hint of heat color his cheeks as he reaches out to lift the man back up. Then...is that recognition? He covers his delicate cough with a hastily raised hand, gaze lowering shyly before he smiles gently again.

"I was happy to help. I trust you are unharmed?"

The painting doesn't do him justice. If this is the Night Immortal, that is. Xingchen feels a rush of familiarity at the other man's touch and he stands up straight. Yet he keeps his head bowed.

"I'm untouched thanks to you, Your Majesty." he has some idea of the hierarchy of Heaven and so...

He attempts a title, unsure if it will be taken well.

"I am only a humble Cultivator. May I ask why you chose to save my life?"

How could it? Though Runyu is sure any painting of him exaggerates his appearance. His flush spreads as Xingchen shows he knows who he is.

"My name is Runyu," he murmurs, hoping the mortal will use it. It's absurd, but he just wants one person to not bother with a title when speaking with him. "I am glad you weren't hurt."

As for why he'd saved the cultivator, he reluctantly releases Xingchen's wrists, realizing belatedly that he hadn't let go yet. "Your work is important. You deserved to be supported, and I was here at the perfect time." Nevermind the fact he's become something of a stalker!

"Runyu." he breathes the name before checking himself. He truly is in the presence of a god! Color rushes to his cheeks, to his ears, and he smiles shyly when his wrists are released.

He hadn't minded Runyu holding onto them.

"It feels wrong for me to accept your kindness without giving you anything in return." he meets Runyu's gaze with all the courage he possesses, "I am Xiao Xingchen. I am a student of Baoshan Sanren. There hasn't been a single night that I haven't enjoyed your work."

He watches color spread over Xingchen's face in wonder and delight. Enjoys that sweet smile. How his name is spoken.

Runyu admires that courage and happily listens. Of course he'd already known all that. But hearing it spoken for his benefit makes all the difference. He smiles. "Your master has a very kind disciple." He hesitates, then, impulsively, holds a hand out, palm upright.

"I would like to show you something, since you enjoy my work."

The compliment flushes him with color and Xingchen stares at Runyu's hand for a few moments before taking hold of it. A rush of giddiness fills his chest, his heart, and...yes. He is ready to see whatever this god has to show him!

"I would be honored." he squeezes Runyu's hand softly, "My duties are finished for the night."

A shiver runs through him at the gentle squeeze to his hand. Oh. Runyu dares to slowly curl their fingers together, entwining them. Maybe he can...have this? Just a taste of happiness?

He has to be gentle though. Even with a cultivator.

Tugging Xingchen close, he wills them to where he conducts his duties, wrapping a shield of protective energy around Xingchen so his mortal body won't be harmed.

Xingchen is a bit different from Baoshan Sanren's other pupils - how different he doesn't know. But she chose his name from poetry for a reason and not once has she spoken of his parentage. If they are alive, why wasn't he given their surname? Or Baoshan's?

The journey is dazzling and Xingchen gasps at the beauty before him. Stars as far as his eyes can see! He beams at Runyu and asks:

"You come here nightly?"

It's strange, but there is a sense about this cute man that's not quite like any other cultivator he's observed. But he sets it aside for later.

Runyu smiles at that gasp, watching Xingchen's reactions as the gentle soul admires the stars. Forgive him if he doesn't let go! But he won't trap Xingchen against him, it would just take stepping away to be released.

"This is where I perform my nightly duties, yes. Some nights I am not needed, as the paths of the stars can be easily maintained by attendants." And those are the nights he visits Xingchen in secret.

Maybe he is a falling star that decided to take the form of a man? His Master had found him in a strange location.

And he so loves the stars! He can hardly look away from them, but it's an easier task when he sets eyes on Runyu. The gentle Night Immortal is lovelier still.

"Where do you go on those nights?" he doesn't make presumptions, but...

He has felt watched for some time.

A fallen star would suit this beautiful, pure man. And it would explain the draw Runyu feels towards him.

He lifts his free arm up to hide most of his flush behind a billowing sleeve, and coughs delicately at the question as his gaze lowers. But he's decided Xingchen will get truth from him.

"The last few years, I have followed a sense. A spirit has drawn me to the Mortal World." He lifts his gaze to peek at Xingchen. "I find my peace in watching you. I hope you can forgive me for not showing myself sooner."

Like his name suggests, he is a star that fell near dawn. His Master found him moments later and bundled him in her robes. The transition between star and man has made Xingchen's memories...fuzzy.

The way Runyu hides his face makes him curious and he waits, patiently, smiling warmly.

"A spirit?" he feels himself growing hotter and he shakes his head, "I'm nothing special. You are welcome to watch me and you needn't ask for forgiveness." he tilts his head thoughtfully, "I just wish I had met you sooner."

Runyu certainly plans to pay Baoshan Sanren a visit to ask about Xingchen's origins! But later.

For now, he's far more interested in spending this precious, stolen time with the enchanting young man. The flush makes him smile, utterly charmed, and he shakes his head to deny that claim. "Would you like me to visit more openly?"

Yes, later. Xingchen wants to know Runyu better. He seems...so gentle. But that sweet personality is befitting their current gorgeous surroundings.

"Please." he squeezes Runyu's hand, "It can be lonely sometimes. I would like to see a friendly face."

Gentle. Lonely. Remote. Sad.

The plea softens his heart and he squeezes the gentle fingers in answer. "There is no reason for you to be lonely. When you feel yourself lonely, call for me. I will come if I can."

Maybe it's reckless of him. But he offers a silvery scale. "Just hold this and call my name, I will hear you. Or if you need help, I will come."

Call...for him? Xingchen is confused by the offer, yet touched all the same. Then Runyu produces the scale and he gently takes it, marveling at the brilliant sheen.

"Where... Where did you get this? It's beautiful." he flushes, "Is it...one of yours?" his brow furrows, "You didn't hurt yourself, did you?"

His scale is accepted, he hadn't doubted the kind man would at least take it to look at it. He watches how Xingchen seems to admire it, and feels how his heart starts to race.

Beautiful? His gaze lowers with a shy hint of pink to his cheeks. Then Xingchen guesses, and he smiles, shaking his head just a little. "It is one of mine," he confirms. "I'd been considering leaving it for you to find before, giving it to you in person is much better." Not saying anything about the pain of having dug it out. Physical pain is nothing.

Xingchen doesn't feel worthy of Runyu's scale, but he knows how rude it is to reject a present. Running his thumb over the beautiful object, he can't help but feel bad for...his friend. Had he hurt himself greatly removing a scale?

The pink on Runyu's cheeks makes his heart beat faster.

"Yes, it is better. I would hate for some animal to wander off with it on accident." he holds the scale to his chest, "I will keep it safe." but, "Will you let me help you? If you're still injured, that is? I have some skill in healing."

It's cute, how Xingchen thinks an animal could take the scale. "Only you could have picked it up," he reassures softly. Then his breath catches at how Xingchen holds the scale.

His mouth goes dry! Only Xufeng had ever offered to help him. Father has only healed him when it was absolutely necessary. But Xufeng did it just because, and even with the effort it takes to make their energies shift enough to help rather than harm.

Is it manipulative of him to want those gentle hands touching him? Maybe. "My nature is water," he slowly starts. "If yours is closer to fire, it would hurt you to help me. I do not want that. I am healing well."

He realizes how silly he sounded too late and his cheeks flush! Of course... Runyu is a god. He could put a spell on his scale. That makes the object all the more dear to him. Runyu really wants him to have it.

Tucking the scale in a safe inner pocket - against his chest - he makes his offer of healing. He can't just leave Runyu hurt!

"My nature is wind." Xingchen smiles, "I can help you."

He adores that pink tinge to Xingchen's handsome face. His gaze softens, helpless as he watches how gently Xingchen tucks his scale away.

"Wind?" Delight touches his heart and he beams. "No wonder you are so light on your feet." And graceful. Finally he inclines his head, "yes, our natures are compatible." So he accepts the generous offer. Lowering his gaze, he slowly unravels a few layers, revealing the bandaged wound at his side where he'd plucked the scale from.

"They call me the bright moon and the gentle breeze." Xingchen chuckles, ducking his head, pleased but bashful, at the compliment. He then beams and reaches into the pouch at his waist, procuring herbs and pain-killers.

But what he will use most is his Golden Core. Though he doesn't mean to stare, he finds Runyu...enchanting. He goes to the god carefully and grimaces sympathetically.

"You did this for me?" he lays gentle hands over the wound and gives Runyu his power freely.

( likely the one pining, but open to either role. )

[ info. can be either the one pining or the one being pined for. slight f/f pref if she's the pining one, ota for the other option. ]

[ Oh look, Quentin is very good at secret pining ]

[Open to either role.]

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DWRPers may have a little suffering, as a treat.

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