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[abbacchiohno]

A QUESTION FOR A QUESTION


YOU MAY KNOW EACH OTHER ALREADY - OR YOU MAY NOT. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, YOU'RE NOW PASSING THE TIME ASKING EACH OTHER QUESTIONS. IT'S A GAME! A QUESTION FOR A QUESTION. YOU START OFF ASKING YOUR OPPONENT A QUESTION OF CHOICE AND IF THEY ANSWER IT, THEY'RE ALLOWED TO ASK YOU A QUESTION IN TURN. THE RULES ARE SIMPLE, ONLY AS LONG AS YOU ANSWER THE OTHER PERSON'S QUESTIONS ARE YOU ALLOWED TO ASK QUESTIONS YOURSELF, BUT THERE IS NO EXPECTATION OF TRUTHFULNESS HERE, LIE IF YOU MUST OR WANT, JUST KEEP THE MOMENTUM GOING.

How to play -
1. Comment with your character's name, fandom and preference.
2. If you want, leave a question in the comment field that your character is asking their opponent. Or don't. I'm not the cops.
3. Pick other characters to question and have fun!

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jill valentine | resident evil | ota

[torsion]

What do you regret more: what you have done or what you haven't?

[slurring]

Not saving them. It haunts me still no matter how many times.

[ There's a lot but this is what comes to mind first. ]

What would you do different?

[torsion]

I understand. I've been more fortunate in that the stakes weren't always other people in a direct and immediate way on missions I've been on.

[ There's a lot that comes to her mind, too. She pauses and goes for the one he'd know, however. ]

I wish I'd explored the sewers more thoroughly. Before Chris and Barry left. Not that I think anyone would believe me. I'd have to go past and beyond Irons to report it and he would've found a way to intercept us, I think.

[2x4]

Not a damn thing. My choices were mine and no matter what happened I'd do everything exactly the same way.

[ A half truth. The matter of his daughter was a hard thing to swallow still. He still can't fully talk about it, but... He hesitates telling her. Easier to deflect for now. ]

Any regrets of your own?

[torsion]

I'm a little jealous of that, then. I'm not good at letting things go.

[ She thinks if he had the opportunity, he'd change some things. But some of that was out of his control to begin with. It meant the actions of others or being aware of something he couldn't possibly have been. ]

I would've went for the neck. Held onto him the whole way down, but started to go for his neck, made him fall on that.

[whey]

Haven't. [ He thinks they might be in a similar boat but it's hard to tell with what happened to her. It's a deeply personal question that he's afraid to ask but...

With hesitation: ] You?

[torsion]

I see. [ She wonders what it could be that he regrets not doing? Probably plenty of things, piled high like unfinished mission reports on his desk. ] Me... I... I guess it might be what I've done now.

[ She tries not to look too pained by it and instead averts her eyes. She knows she's not sly, but she also knows he won't push -- at least not too hard -- unless she gives him an opening. It's something she also regrets not doing, not being more honest with him. ]

Is it something you can still fix?

[ Is what she decides on. ]

[unimpaired]

Haven't. [ It's simple and John knows he owes her more than this. He's not good at diving deep which is why he asks: ] How do you let it go?

[torsion]

I'm sorry. [ She says it and means it. She knows that's how he feels, at the very least and part of her wants to pry deep and dark, into the unseemly wet places between the gaps; the places where no one else goes. Jill doesn't right now, but she has half a mind to. ] I haven't let it all go. That burning feeling, it never really goes away and the regrets flash before my eyelids when I close them. I don't know. Some days are better than others. Some days I can let it go and other days it digs in and it becomes an inseparable part of me.

[ She pauses now. Jill wants to give him solid advice, to help. She goes to scoop up his hand -- the one with the missing finger now -- and doesn't shy away from lacing her own fingers between his, ignoring the gap like it's not there. ]

You have to breathe sometimes. Allow yourself the good things even if you feel you don't deserve them.

[pizzawork]

[ With a hand on his chin and a casual stroke: ] Tough call. [ Not exactly but it's complicated. ] Probably haven't if I'm being honest with you.

[ But he's sauntering over to her all too casually. ] What about you?

[torsion]

[ Jill isn't sure how seriously he is or isn't taking it, but part of her wants to force him to confront something, anything. Whatever it is that he tries to hide from her when he plays these little smiling games. ]

I guess that might be better than regretting actions you can't take back. A lot of things you can make up for and change, but when you've done something it can't be erased.

[ She watches him too intently, the kind that makes it obvious she's tracing his every move. ]

What I've done can't be erased, Dante. [ She's quick to keep the question game going, to draw attention away from herself. It's funny; right now they're pretty similar. ] Is there something in particular you're thinking of when you say what you haven't done?

[activated]

...done. [ He doesn't have much words for it unless she asks. It's similar but he still withholds. ] What's your biggest one?

[torsion]

I'm sorry. [ She replies to him softly, understanding to some degree what's happened to him. She hesitates to reply because in reality what she regrets most is something that makes her feel worse; she should regret giving all the injections she did, for helping Wesker, for a million things during those years but it's really one thing above all else: ] ...I laid my hands on my partner. Broke bones. Concussed him.

[ She briefly gazes at her hands. What they're capable of now is no different than in that moment, but she has autonomy now. It doesn't take back what she has done in the past, however. ]

...what's the happiest you remember ever being?

[ Jill decides not to force him to relive the worst. ]

[activated]

Yeah. [ They really needed to sit down and have a proper talk about everything. He knows some of what's happened to her and it's about the same extent he's let her in; just etching the surface. He thinks he's made it awkward when she hesitates and there's a heavy feeling that fills the air. The heaviness of his past; the commands, the cryogenic sleep, the screams he still hears and the actions he can't take back.

Her words sting more when it hits too close. It wasn't to the same degree. Thankfully Steve was in a similar boat as he was and couldn't get his bones easily broken or concussed. Nat on the other hand, as tough as she was? could absolutely be broken if he hit hard enough and he meant to disable both of them at the time. Thankfully, he didn't succeed but it's still a regret having been out against his best friend like that. When she says "partner" it reminds him of that.

He dips his head dragging his eyes across the ground. Damn. ] We both did some things then. [ It's said as he shifts to gaze at his own hands then clenches a both fists before dropping them back at his sides. Because it's true, even with having control over his actions now, it still doesn't take away from what he did. ] I'm sorry. [ and he is for both of their sake.

His eyes drag back up when she asks him hee question almost perplexed at first. It was such a change in tone that it almost throws him for a moment. No one's really asked him and he takes pause. ]

Probably right around the time I was enlisted. Things were easier and it got complicated fast after. [ 107 and the whole ordeal getting captured by HYDRA. Truth was, he doesn't really remember to think back on it as much as he focused on repressing the trauma. He's not sure where to go from here but he decides not to revisit the whole hands on her partner. ]

Are you happy now?

[torsion]

[ It's something she doesn't want to share, but she also knows she needs to and if there's anyone outside of Chris worth telling it might be him. What they share is likely a pain that's inexplicable with the weight of their own personal worlds bearing down on their shoulders. Heavy and heavier still, until it nearly suffocates them. If not now, over time. Time was the great equalizer, after all.

Jill might've hurt Sheva pretty badly, too, if she wasn't pulled aside during their fight. If not her, then Wesker and in a way that would've been her fault for those injuries, too. Chris shouldn't have let her handle Wesker in any capacity, but he had. It was selfish, but so was she. They'd both wanted to be with each other in ways that had only become true in time in a breath that had been held without either of them knowing. ]

We did, it sounds like. [ < Small>But he's not giving her an answer any better than the implication. Jill doesn't keep still, but she holds herself with an uncomfortable rigidity that only lets up when he apologizes; her shoulders fall slightly and she lets her hand fall to her hip, settling there even though she wants to cross her arms. ] Nothing much either of us can do about it now, right?

[ Jill decided on that question, though she wanted to ask what his "greatest triumph" was, as well, but it felt almost more personal? And it could easily be connected to t he rough questions, too. ]

Yeah? I guess that makes sense. I was pretty happy when I first enlisted with the army, too. It was simple. [ Everything was direct and clear-cut. ] I guess I'm happy in a sense of the word? I'm not unhappy. What about you?