bakerstreet | Never turn your back on la famiglia.

Never turn your back on la famiglia.

the crime family

an au meme

This life of ours, this is a wonderful life. If you can get through life like this and get away with it, hey, that’s great. But its very, very unpredictable. There’s so many ways you can screw it up.

Paul Castellano

In this family of yours, everyone plays their part. From the getaway drivers, to the big boss on top, to the bodyguards, to the housewives, everyone has to play their role in order to keep this family afloat. Whether you luxuriate in the danger, the thrill and the money, or you've got your apprehensions about the whole thing, we're sure this family is glad to have you around. So long as you weren't thinking about leaving. You weren't thinking about leaving, were you?

No? Good. That's what we thought.

The meme can be set in the future, in present day, or in the past! There's crime in all countries all across the world, but you could also AU a whole new world for this.

— comment with your character + prefs.
— commit crimes.

the (potential) roles

The Boss. The one in charge. The one everyone listens to and looks up to. The one who has to make the tough calls when the going gets rough.
The Right Hand. The Boss wouldn't be anywhere without you, his most trusted confidant. You know everything there is to know and then some. Take this trust for what it is or abuse it to your own ends. We won't tell.
The Hitman. The Boss points and you pull the trigger. It's not up to you to decide who lives and who dies. No one asked you to think. Just shoot, wipe off your gun, and move on to the next one.
The Getaway Driver. You think the Boss drives themself? Of course not. That what you're here for. Take people where they need to go, don't ask questions, always turn a blind eye to what goes on the backseat. It's simple.
The Tech Guy. You spend most of your time developing cool guns and even cooler gear all while being the voice in the earpiece of someone who's on the go. It sounds like a dream for some, sans the fact that you're working for a crime family. That commits crimes.
The Bodyguard. Whether you're assigned to the boss themself or some other important member of the family, your only role is to keep them safe.
The Boss's Daughter/Son/Child. The forbidden fruit, entirely off-limits. Regardless of your personal feelings about your crime family, the Boss will kill a man where he stands just for looking at you. Have fun trying to date.
The Trophy Wife/Husband/Spouse. Eye candy. The Boss walks in with you on their arm and everyone turns and looks.
The Undercover. You're only here to gain information to take this family down. Try not to get caught along the way.
The Interrogator — When the Boss needs to extract information, he calls you in. You're an expect at getting people talk.
The Grunt. In order to move up the ranks, you need to do whatever needs done, no matter how mundane it is. Load the guns, mop the floors, fix the cars...
The Cop. While you're not technically not a member of the family, you've been watching these guys for a while. Your file on these people grows larger by the day.
The Witness — You saw something you weren't supposed to see and now you're wrapped up in all of this.
The Rival — Romeo and Juliet style rivals, but less love and more murder... Or, more love and less murder? Or murder and love in equal amounts?
Wildcard — There are plenty of other roles to consider! The entertainment, the call girls/boys/people, the crime family elder, the new recruit, the doctor, the dirty lawyer... Have fun with it!

the (potential) scenarios

Shootout/ Murder —Pew-pew.
Act Natural — Sure, you're a crime family, but you could at least give the patina of being on the straight and narrow. Host a birthday party, or a gala, or a charity event. Something that normal wealthy families that totally aren't involved in a life of crime do.
Get Out — You want out of this life. The death, the misery, the danger... it's not for you. But everyone knows leaving isn't an option. Once you're in, you're in for life.
Death In The Family — Someone of significance has died, and everyone's feeling it. Maybe their death solidifies your goal of revenge, or maybe it's close to scaring you straight.
Injury — After a crime goes wrong, you're bedridden for a bit until you get your strength back.
Between Jobs — Life in the crime world can't all be shoot-outs and heists. Sometimes, you've just got some downtown. What happens behind closed doors on a slow day?
Forbidden Love —There are a lot of ways to go with this. The bodyguard crushing on the Boss's child? Undercover cop falls for the Boss's unhappy spouse? Interrogator with a secret spot for the accidental witness?
A Job Well Done — After a job goes well, it's time for a celebration! Drinks for everyone!
A Failure — Anything that could've gone wrong went wrong. You're lucky to have made it back with your life. Boy, is the Boss going to have some thoughts about this...
Kidnapping — Bringing a rival gang member back to your home for information? Ransom? Leverage?
Fraud —It takes a few lies to make some money. Fraudulent crimes include fake identities, lying about who you are, lying about past accomplishments, etc.
Arson — Burn the evidence. Leave it all behind.
Put Out A Hit — Someone wants you dead. Maybe you want someone else dead. The end goal is death either way.
A Coup — This Boss is messing up and they're messing up badly. Someone else should be in charge. Someone who knows what they're doing. Someone who deserves it. Someone like you.
Wildcard — Think of a scenario that best suits you and have fun with it!

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[ Well look at this! Ready made family ]

( i love mafia aus dont look at me i know she would never. but, boss and righthand? boss and bodyguard?? interactions??? or maybe even a fake dating situation with a trophy wife/husband on her arm at a gala. mix of all of the above? yes )

[Options:]

[1. The Boss]

[This guy? This guy is the boss? He's a fast-talker and a sketchy dude, how's he in charge?? Is it that he has enforcers? Or is he just weirdly lucky?]

[2. Undercover]

[The sleazy appearance is a good "in" to the family... now he just has to make sure he can maintain the ruse.]

[3. Wildcard]

[Any other ideas we can roll with!]

[Beyond the shadow of a doubt, Mogami is The Interrogator. A former hitman, but life has not been kind to this ghoulish, ghastly monster of a man.]

((OOC: Due to the nature of Mogami, content warning in advance for any themes of torture, violence or gore! Feel free to OOCly draw any boundaries b4 tagging!))

[[Look can this really be any worse for her than canon?

Most likely the boss' daughter, probably struggling under her father's control pretty badly. Would be particularly interested in her trying to get out, maybe with the help of a bodyguard or something, or trying to manipulate someone into a coup to get rid of her father, but up for anything.

Also could be aged up a little as a trophy wife having fallen into a whole new dangerous situation, a slightly nervous new recruit, or a witness who's trying to convince someone she's really not going to say anything. Or if you have another idea, feel free to throw it my way!]]

[[Pantheon as crime family AU because why not? Depending on what point in her timeline, most likely either the boss's daughter or supposedly a trophy wife, either way a lot more dangerous and involved than most people give her credit for. Up for other ideas as well, though!]]

[[Bio + preferences. Canonically a hitman already, so that's a pretty obvious option, but would also fit pretty well as a bodyguard. Alternately, an outsider who gets hired to take out someone in the family and/or gets in the way of family business?]]

[ the boss, unless it's before she took over. check the bio. ]

[ I'm especially fond of the concept of a supernatural mob, in which case Asura makes a good boss or muscle who loves his job way too much and scares everyone. ]

( A hitman, a bodyguard, a Right Hand — she can do it all! Just don't make her a trophy spouse, pls )

[ pre-first movie or an au, whatever, i'm easy! ]

(He would definitely be the leader of a Normanni crime syndicate with some young little punk trying to kill him.)

(( Boss’ son trying to escape his family’s lifestyle ))

( probably the boss' pacifistic twin brother, but down to try any role/scenario! )

( If you're down to play crosscanon, maybe something with Hen as an undercover agent? Scenario I'm imagining is 'I befriended you to gather intel but you're really sweet and oh god how do I get you out of this life without either of us dying?' )

( i love me some crosscanon (& FFXIV) so yes, please! that's honestly the perfect scenario for Vash, i can't think of anything more fitting lol. i'm totally down! )

( HELL YEAH! One last question, do you have any preference for a more modern day setting or something akin to Tristamp's sci-fi because I know people do like to blend it into aus. )

Edited (clarity) 2023-04-01 12:46 (UTC)

( nah i don't have a preference either way, i'm completely fine with a regular modern day setting! feel free to go with whatever you'll find most fun to explore. o/ )

[ If Hen was good at nothing else, it was compartmentalization. Ju-Lai Intelligence had its box, covert operations had theirs, and her personal life had a box tucked far, far away from either of them. It was easy to keep them all from leaking into each other at least until...]

Mornin' Vash.

[ Here, she was supposed to be 'Spectral', just a grunt assigned to ~~babysit~~ guard Vash. Hen wouldn't call herself the jaded type -pragmatic yes-, but Vash was like a ray of sunshine within the calm eye of the raging storm that was Ju-Lai's criminal underworld. 'Spectral' was supposed to be cold and detached. But the lines that kept Spectral and Hen separate were fading, and Hen's warm empathy began to bleed in. ]

Got anywhere you wanted to go today?

[ Vash has seen many of his assigned guards come and go and he's never held it against them whenever they inevitably decide to leave. Disaster tends to follow in his footsteps and it's obvious to everyone around him that he was not meant for a life of crime which he knows makes him a pain to look after. If it were up to him there wouldn't be any guards at all, but his twin brother insists and no one dares defy him. Vash is hoping his latest guard will last longer than some of his previous ones though. For all that she'd seemed so distant at first, Vash had seen glimmers of something kinder underneath the cold exterior and he's been eager to see more of it when it's such a rare thing here. ]

Good morning, Spectral!

[ He greets back cheerfully as he steps out of his room, no longer bothered by the immediate company of a guard the second he sets foot outside like he used to be when he was younger. ]

I was thinking of picking up lunch for Nai so he doesn't forget to eat after the meeting again.

[ It's an excuse. He overheard the subordinates talking in nervous voices the previous night, meaning that there's probably going to be bad news at the meeting today and that's where Vash comes in: damage control. As the only one Nai will sort of listen to, Vash is there to smooth things over and soothe his twin's temper. If he shows up with a thoughtful gesture right as the meeting's ending, it'll save the subordinates some grief. It might even, unironically, save some lives. ]

Know any good places?

[ Hen takes a step back, allowing Vash some measure of personal space, blank mask quickly turning into a genuine grimace at the mention of a meeting. She was there for the nervous conversation. So much as a wrong step or overheard word and heads were on the chopping block. And yet, all Vash had to do was show up, and suddenly it was all clear. She considered his question with a hum. ]

That...depends. What does he like?

[ Hen definitely knew of at least one diner that did takeaway. But that, was a compartment for Hen, not Spectral. Not the former 'cleaner'. ]

You think you can get away with something from a supermarket deli? Wouldn't be anything fancy, but I think he'd appreciate the gesture.

[ 'What does he like?' is a tough question when his brother is someone who eats solely because he has to; all function, no enjoyment. If it were up to Nai, he probably wouldn't eat at all if it were possible. His twin had always been a picky eater when they were younger and it seems to have turned into a general dislike for food as they grew. Vash can't really go off of "like" in this case, but he can go with the sorts of foods that Nai eats most. ]

Hmm, maybe? He prefers healthy food.

[ Would a supermarket deli be good enough for Nai normally? Probably not, but so long as it comes from Vash and it's not the kind of junk food he himself prefers, it's not going to matter much. (Although in Vash's opinion, some sugar might actually do his brother good.) He turns the proposed idea over in his head, tapping his chin and shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he considers. ]

Should I try making something myself? We'd only have to get some ingredients.

[ Food preparation is very much not his strong suit, but it's the thought that counts, right? ]

[ Healthy food. That narrows the list down a considerable amount, perhaps something easy to eat quickly? Vash mentions making the meal himself and before she can even stop herself, she's answering. ]

I know a pretty good soup recipe, want me to help you?

[ Shit. Shit, it's another crack in the lines separating Hen and Spectral. Part of her hates how easily the barriers fade when she's with Vash, yet another part of her - the selfish part -, wishes she could put down the mask for good. ]

[ Vash instantly brightens at the suggestion, thoughtful expression transforming into a sunny, eager beam of a smile. ]

Really? You would?

[ A soup is absolutely the right dish for Nai given his brother's penchant for often using smoothies to get his necessary nutritional intake. It's also the sort of thing Vash figures he can't mess up too badly even though his culinary skills are rather lacking. Especially when Spectral's helping him, there's no way he could fail. It also gives him another chance to get to know her better since, no matter how often he's told he shouldn't be trying to befriend his guards when it's supposed to be a professional relationship, it never stops him from attempting it. ]

Thank you, Spectral! That sounds perfect.

[ He smiles and not for the first time, Hen's heart clenches watching him. 'You're not meant for this.' rings in her head like a church bell. She shrugs, rubbing the back of her neck. ]

I gotta play babysitter, of course I'll help.

[ Her warm tone is immediately at odds with the words coming out of her mouth, already moving. There's a decent supermarket nearby, if she grabs a hoodie and facemask, no one will recognize her. She waves a hand lazily. ]

Let's go, faster we get stuff, faster we get your brother his soup.

You're so kind, Spectral.

[ It makes his smile soften to hear the warm tone so at odds with the spoken words. He can't even really argue with what's being said, the guards he gets assigned by his brother essentially are his "babysitters" no matter how much he loathes thinking of it that way. There's no point in refusing them though, Nai would just have them tail him from the shadows and Vash much prefers actually getting to know the people around him. Spectral has been a welcome addition. ]

Alright! What kind of soup will we be making?

[ He asks with bright-eyed curiosity, quickly patting his pocket to confirm he has his wallet with him before starting to move down the hallway with a happy spring in his step. ]

I'm really not.

[ Kind people don't lie through their teeth, don't hurt innocent people all in the name of 'a greater good'. She tries not to linger on that particular thought, focusing on gathering her things and the question. ]

Caldo verde, green soup. It's simple enough to eat and made primarily out of collard greens and potatoes, I think Knives would like it.

[ Or at least, tolerate it enough to eat it. Then again, she wonders if Knives would eat anything if it was handed to him by Vash. Another thing that makes this mission hard. At the end of the day, the brothers care about each other. Any attempts to separate them would probably end with backlash on both sides. Knives has no qualms with murder, and somehow Hen gets the feeling breaking Vash's heart would have her gladly welcoming that bullet. ]

You are.

[ He disagrees simply without further elaboration. Spectral has been quite kind to him. There have been plenty who have treated him like a burden in the past (probably rightly so) and there have been guards who resented being assigned to him and had no qualms making their displeasure known because they knew Vash wouldn't breathe a word of it to Nai. Spectral has been far more indulgent than most. The fact that she's willing to help him cook for his brother is testament to that. ]

That's exactly the sort of thing he'd like, good thinking!

[ Not just bringing Nai lunch, but making something himself (with Spectral's help) that's catered to his brother's specific taste is bound to succeed and soften him up, hopefully sparing everyone from his wrath in the wake of the bad news. At the very least it should have his twin distracted long enough for most to get out of dodge for a bit. ]

Whatever.

[ She sighs, knowing that Vash isn't going to let this go. It's one of the things that she found endearing about him in the first place. Where previous guards saw a burden or a punching bag, Hen found a kindred spirit. She saw her own stubbornness in him. ]

Good. The happier he is, the less danger we're all in.

[ She picks up the keys to the car, twirling it around her finger. ]

I'm driving, no ifs, ands or buts about it.

[ He smiles at her put-upon concession, taking it as a victory that she doesn't argue the point further, though it's quick to falter at her following statement. She's not wrong. For all that Nai might seem collected and calculating most of the time, all of his actions are influenced heavily by his emotions even if his twin would never admit that himself. Vash is convinced this life isn't meant for Nai either. So far he's failed miserably trying to convince his brother to give it up though. They're both stubborn to a fault.

He can only give a soft hum of agreement before he gets distracted by Spectral snatching the car keys. His mouth is already open at 'I'm driving', ready to argue, but she doesn't give him a chance to. The would-be-protest turns into a pout instead, accompanied by a whine of: ]

Not even on the way back?

Last guard told me about how well you and cars mix. Not taking any chances. [ A pause. ] Okay, maybe if we get out of there quick enough.

_

[ Nearly an hour later, Hen's in the passenger seat, wondering how she was in said passenger seat. Either Vash is secretly a great hypnotist, or she's not immune to the puppy dog eyes and pout combo. ]

...How did you convince me to let you drive again?

[ Was it the headache of being around people who could've recognized her? Or the exhaustion of looking over her shoulder for any idiot dumb enough to start something at the grocery store? Either way, Hen wasn't the one who drove home. ]

[ The potential prospect of getting to drive home if they're quick enough is enough to make him drop his pout for a beaming smile again. It also serves as a great motivator for him to hurry up once they're out shopping when he would normally want to linger and take his time perusing the aisles. Given his family ties, it's not safe for him to be out that much and he's no stranger to kidnapping attempts. If it were up to his brother, he'd probably be kept inside all the time, but Vash needs the small measure of freedom he has to stay sane and they both know it. So he treasures the time he gets to go out, wanting to make it last. The promise of getting to drive home is more enticing this time though.

That said, his last guard wasn't wrong. He and vehicles don't mix that well, but that never stops Vash from trying and having fun with his attempts. This time is no different. Although he doesn't cause any accidents, the ride home is far from smooth sailing and filled with close calls. How he ever got his license is anyone's guess. (Nai's influence, probably.)

At least he has the decency to look apologetic once they make it back, laughing sheepishly. ]

Haha, sorry! But hey, we made it in one piece, right? That's all that matters.

[ For a moment, all she can do is just sit, processing the drive. She crossed herself at at least one intersection. ]

Note to self, we're teaching you how to drive properly.

[ It'll be a good life skill, especially once this mission is over and Vash won't have people to drive him around. Something about that thought sours her stomach, and Hen gets out, gathering the shopping bags. There's the ingredients for the soup, but if there's a few bags of gummy worms, well that's between her and the gummy worms. ]

Come on.

[ He'll sit and wait patiently for her to recover, feeling a little bad, but not bad enough to keep from whining. ]

Ehh, do we have to? I already have my license and everything.

[ It's a halfhearted protest though. Proper lessons with someone who will be patient with him and actually teach him instead of taking Nai's money and trying to be done with him as soon as possible is probably sorely needed and he knows it. Plus, if Spectral is the one who will help him, it'll mean getting to spend more time with her outside of her strictly assigned role and Vash is hardly opposed to that.

He gets out of the car when she does, moving after her and eagerly holding out his hands for the bags. ]

I'll carry 'em.

[ Something Nai would disapprove of when there's employees and servants of the house to do such chores, but Vash vastly prefers doing things himself and — more than anything — likes making himself useful. ]

If you wanna drive again, then yes.

[ She passes a few bags his way, making sure to not hand him the bag with the gummy worms. It's something Hen's noticed, Vash enjoys doing with his hands. She wonders if some kind of hobby would do him some good, get some of that energy out.

She shuts the car door with her foot.]

Here can you lock it up for me?

[ Hen doesn't even wait for an answer, walking into the house with her own bags. ]

[ the trophy wife, the boss' daughter, or the witness. ]

[The boss' son, or the trophy husband~ (mostly m/m, but f/m as long as it's femdom!); could also be working undercover as a honeypot, but that still with being one of the boss' children.]

((info/permissions!))

[ Canonically a combination of the boss’ daughter and the grunt. Open to any scenario except Get Out and A Coup. ]

[ canonically the boss - he's the leader of south korea's largest organized crime syndicate, which predominantly operates by trafficking meth. very cool, reserved, and formal, acts in many ways like any other businessman; fairly sensitive and emotional under the facade, prone to taking betrayal extremely personally. very open to crosscanon/crossmedium, happy to handwave language barriers, would especially love breaking bad crosscanon. i love all of this but undercover/the cop/the right hand are favorite roles to play off of. more info here! ]

[The Hitman, The Right, A Coup, all mixed together?

He can be trusted!]

[ooc: Weirdly cheerful hitman, interrogator, or bodyguard!]

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Never turn your back on la famiglia.

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Nate Boyd | original

billie martinelli | original | ota

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Askeladd | Vinland Saga

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VASH ✖ trigun stampede

Re: VASH ✖ trigun stampede

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i'm throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks orz

works fine for me 👍

Re: works fine for me 👍

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