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THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE MEME

No one knows quite how it started. All we know is that it's probably going to end. In one fell swoop, zombies have taken over most of the free world, looking for tasty humans to snack on. Or who knows?( Maybe there's a misunderstood zombie in there looking for ~love~ ~~but I wouldn't trust it.~~) Follow the rules. ~~(but keep in mind they had to be numbered strangely because of RNG.)~~

All you need to do is survive.

RULE NUMBER ONE: CARDIO
♦ Chasing zombies are not fun zombies. You're doing your best to outrun the horde, but they're hungry and you look like a five star buffet. You better hope you have a weapon handy (and some backup?) because shit is going down.

RULE NUMBER TWO: THE DOUBLE TAP.
♦ By the time you're embroiled in the action, it's important to not only have a weapon, but to use it, and use it right. Whether it's being taught how to shoot a gun, or to swing a bat, or to shoot an arrow if you're feeling like Robin Hood, or even taking all those lessons and putting them to good use for the first time, you're going down swinging. Just remember to make absolutely sure it's down for the count--the zombies tend to be kind of good at being, well, undead.

RULE NUMBER THREE: AVOID BATHROOMS.
♦ Time to hide. Build up a barricade or find a building that might be safe. Hopefully in this shelter you'll find some reprieve from the attack--time to recover from wounds (hope they aren't infectious...),stock up on supplies, or just take a break. In the shelter is where you can find camaraderie with your fellow survivors--maybe get to know them beyond "HEY, WATCH OUT."

RULE NUMBER FOUR: SEATBELTS
♦ You've made a careless mistake. Didn't bring enough bullets. Threw yourself in front of a loved one to let them survive. Either way, whatever you just did was probably dumb, no matter how noble you think it was. You're probably zombie chow, or about to become a member of the undead club--unless of course, someone in your group figured out the cure. (This is code for if you really don't want the bad end, don't do it.)

RULE NUMBER FIVE: ATTACHMENTS.
♦ The bad thing about falling in love in the zombie apocalypse is that you. Fell in love during the zombie apocalypse. And although this can lead to moments of joy in a world of nightmares, it can lead to the exact opposite, too--you would do anything to save your loved one, and certainly balk at the idea of killing them. Things get messy when you're attached.

RULE NUMBER SIX: BE RUTHLESS.
♦ Did your friend/loved one/soulmate/child get bitten by a zombie? Oops too bad. You better send them off to a better place because they will not hesitate to do the same thing to you. Think of it as a mercy kill.

RULE NUMBER SEVEN: ENJOY THE LITTLE THINGS.
♦ Dude. It's the end of the world. If you find a Twinkies factory? You go in there and eat some goddamn twinkies. If you stumble across the Hollywood Sign and want to stand in front of it, go for it. Always wanted to be a star? The theaters are pretty dead right now. (Pun kind of intended.) If you have something you want to do before you die, now is the chance to do it. It's hard enough to find happiness in the post-zombie-apocalypse world, so if you find something that might make you happy, cling onto it.

RULE NUMBER EIGHT: WILD CARD.
♦ There are a whole buttload of other rules you should be following. Pick one or make up your own--either way, the zombie apocalypse waits for no man!

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Fuck - fuck. They got in? How? [ Jesse sounds worried, looks worried, puts his bat away for a second so that he can examine the doors, the holes, all the shit they'd pulled into place to keep themselves safe. He shouldn't have left. He just thought, for a second, it'd be okay, but Jesse's stupid, because that's not how it works. You let your guard down for a second and everything falls to pieces.

Jesse looks over his shoulder at Ghoul when he trails off. ] When we go. Ghoul.

[Shit. No. No, Jesse, don't-- Ghoul stares down at his feet, shaking his head. When he lifts it back up, his gaze is cold and hard. Gotta be strong. If you're not strong, he's gonna fall to pieces. Jesse needs to be stronger.] When you go.

[Ghoul closes the distance between them, grabs Jesse's wrist, and pushes his gun into Jesse's hand. Look. Look down. The hand grasping your wrist. The angry, red, bloody bite.]

Gotta be you. Get out. Keep goin'. But don't let me turn into one of them. S'just gotta be you, Finch.

[ No.

No. No no no no. Jesse stares at the bite, expression blank for a long moment. No, this isn't happening, and he doesn't have to do this. Gotta keep going. You have to keep going. ]

No. [ Jesse says calmly, finally, looking up at Ghoul. He swallows hard, and tries to push the gun back at Ghoul. He doesn't even know how to use it right, he can't. It's Ghoul's. ] We're gonna fix it. I ain't going alone, we'll fix it.

[ His chest hurts. It hurts bad. He can't breathe, already, short on air, and it's audible, despite his calm expression. ]

[Hey, no, don't you dare. Ghoul frowns, firmly gripping Jesse's hand, placing the gun against his open palm, and closing his fingers around it.] Can't fix this. You know we can't. There isn't a fix for this and you gotta keep going. North, yeah? Survivors. You gotta go.

[But not yet. Right now, he's gotta sit. Ghoul brings a crate over, sets Jesse down on it. Sit.] Breathe. [He's just gonna crouch down right here, right next to him.]

S'fine, J. [He smiles.] We both know you're the prettier bastard, anyway.

[ His fingers close around the gun and it makes it worse, makes his breathing stutter and shake, makes his mostly empty stomach roll. The constant stream of no hasn't stopped in his head, it's a mantra, and Ghoul sits him down and crouches and smiles at him and Jesse's expression breaks, collapses into a mess of pain and fear and devastation.

He doesn't care if he's the prettier one. That was for a time when Ghoul's skin was clear of that angry red bite, that was for joking when times were rougher, that was before Jesse knew he was going to be alone.

Survivors up north. It doesn't matter. The only person he'd wanted to be alive is dead. Has been for a while. Jesse's lungs constrict. He shakes his head, drops the gun to the side like it's burning him. It's not fine, it's not, it's - there's a fix and there has to be a way and Jesse watches Ghoul with a hopeless, broken face as he tries to breathe, but he can't.

Instead, he wheezes, and covers his mouth with his hand, trying to muffle himself. ]

[Goddammit. Of all the times to-- okay, actually, now is a pretty good time for this. Ghoul pulls his bandanna off his neck and quickly wraps it around the bite, tying it off with his good hand and his teeth, before turning his attention back to Jesse. Won't be so bad if he can't see it. One less thing to trigger him.]

Hey, lookit me. Look. We got some time, okay? You are one strong motherfucker, all the shit you been through. Don't let this be what gets your sorry ass. Breathe. M'nothing to get worked up over, just breathe. You ain't a fuckin' quitter, don't quit on me now.

[Forget the gun. Forget where they are. Just look. He gently pulls Jesse's hand away from his mouth and firmly grasps both of his shoulders. Look. He's right here.]

[ It - sort of helps. Out of sight, out of mind. Sure, they've got some time, but not enough, and Jesse knows, he knows how selfish he's being, because Ghoul is the one who got bit and Ghoul is the one that's going to die. Ghoul is going to die. Jesse should be taking care of him.

But it gets stuck in his throat, in his lungs and chest, and he doesn't want to be alone.

Ghoul takes his shoulders, and Jesse finally sobs out a breath, pressing his hand more tightly to his mouth at first, but letting Ghoul pull it away when he tries. Don't cry. There's no room for crying out here, not when he's had to beat in the skulls of people who used to be people. The thing is, you get used to that. They're monsters, it's survival.

But you never get used to the idea that someday, something like this might happen.

Jesse gasps in another breath and reaches to grip at Ghoul's arm tightly, eyes just barely wet. ] I can't. [ Desperate. ] I can't, I can't be alone. [ So fucking selfish. ]

[It's not selfish if Ghoul is choosing to completely ignore what just happened to him to focus on Jesse anyway. Anytime they lost someone, anytime a member of their crew fell, he was the one that told them to move, told them they had to keep going. He brushed it off. Had to worry about the ones still living, no time to wallow in that shit. No time to mourn his family, no time to mourn Galen. He felt that loss burning a hole through his heart every day until he wasn't sure he had a heart left, but he had to keep going. Had to think of the ones still living.

Only, the amount of still-living kept getting smaller. Eventually, it was just the two of them. Ghoul knew it would end like this, he knew he'd sacrifice himself to give Jesse a chance, but he didn't think it would be because of something so fucking careless and stupid. They were so close. They were almost there. And then this. It's either blame himself and spend his last minutes knowing they could have made it, or he could focus on Jesse. Get him ready. Make sure he's gonna make it.

Make sure he's not gonna do something stupid.]

You can. If anyone can, it's you. S'gotta be you, I toldya. You're smart, you're fast, you're a survivor. Jesse, you gotta make it. Find the others. Gotta keep runnin', Jess. you gotta live for all of us. [Don't-- don't cry. Don't-- He reaches a hand up to cup the side of Jesse's face.] Not leavin' you. We're still with you.

[ He's lost so many people.

Galen's gone. They hadn't had time. They'd - Jesse had - they had to make sure he wouldn't come back as one of them. Jesse couldn't let it happen that way. There wasn't anything left. It wouldn't have been him. Jesse tried to arrange him like he was just sleeping, took the ring on his finger. Kept his own, and kept running, only because Ghoul dragged him off. Can't stay, Finch, they won't get Galen, not when we raze the place with fire, but they will get you.

It got smaller and smaller. Just the two of them, but they were there. It's not even that far. That's the most unfair part, they're right there, it's so close and Jesse doesn't want it anymore. What's the point? What's the point of being alive and okay if he doesn't have anybody with him? What's the point if the man he wanted to marry is a pile of ashes he couldn't even take with him, if his last remaining friend needs him to shoot him in the fucking face so he doesn't get back up again after he dies?

We're still with you. Jesse chokes again, shakes his head even under Ghoul's grip. ] S'not enough. [ He holds Ghoul's hand in his own, the sobs bubbling up. ] What's the point, Ghoul, there's none. There's nobody fucking left.

[ His grip tightens. ] I miss Galen. [ He gasps it out. ] Ghoul, s'not fair, s'not fair, you're gonna fuckin' -- you get t'see them again and I don't? How the fuck is that fair?

[No, no, no, fucking idiot. No. His frown gets deeper and he's holding onto Jesse with everything he's got.]

The point is, motherfucker, that it ain't over for you. This ride ain't over. You're still here, and there's gotta be a reason for that. What the hell would Jet Star say? Cosmic fuckin' ... destiny. You got a purpose, you just gotta figure out what it is, yeah?

[So don't-- Just come here. He doesn't do this for just anyone, you know, come here. Ghoul wraps Jesse up in his arms, holds him close, keeps him there, cradles the back of his head and rocks him a little.] You'll see 'em, too. Just not right now. Not for a long time. Life's not fair, but you got one. You got a life. Don't waste it. Goddammit, Jesse, don't you dare fuckin' waste this.

[ He knows. It's just, he also knows this is the last time he's going to ever do it at all. It's over for Ghoul, and he's the one holding Jesse, telling him it'll be okay. Don't waste the life you're given, not when the last remaining friend you have is asking you to live. Jesse can't deny him that.

But it's the arms around him that breaks him completely, and he holds the front of Ghoul's shirt and sobs, huge, gasping noises he can't control. He can already feel the weight of the loneliness crushing in on him, wrapping around his spine and digging in like barbed wire. It hurts so bad, and Jesse won't let go, can't stop thinking about cosmic destiny.

Destiny. Whatever's out there, up there, if there is - they've got a fucked up sense of humor. Here's Jesse, unable to be alone without slowly going crazy, destined to be alone for the rest of his life. The cynical part of him feeds off of this. There's no hope left. He can keep walking, keep talking, but it's not really living.

When he can speak, he mutters uselessly, pathetically, into Ghoul's shirt. ] M'so sorry, m'sorry. [ Sniff, as he holds Ghoul's arm. ] M'sorry and you - you're important. You - you're my best friend, I gotta - I will. [ End it. Before you turn. ]

[Fuck. No, gotta-- ... gotta be strong. You can't just pull the 'best friend' card on a dying guy. That's a cheap shot. Cheap as hell! Jesse's shoulder might start to get a little wet and Ghoul's grip might just get a little tighter.]

Stuff those apologies, Xerox, this ain't your fault. None of this. Always gonna be your friend. Always gonna be here, even if you can't see me.

[He shoulda been more careful. He shoulda watched. Shoulda stayed by Jesse's side, made sure he did it. Made sure he got somewhere he could call home. The other 'joys didn't have a home, but they had each other. He had Galen. Now he's got nothing, but he can still have something. Ghoul really believes that. Even as the weight of hopelessness and futility starts to crush them and suck up all the available air, he knows Jesse can make it.

But all he can think about are the faces of the fallen. His boys. He misses them so fucking much and he's so fucking tired and his arm feels heavy. Heavy and numb in a painful way. They don't have much time left.

The hand cradling Jesse's head starts to stroke his hair while Ghoul murmurs softly,]

Hey, shhhhh, hey. I'm not scared to die. S'inevitable. Never been scared. Thing that scares me? You trying to hitch a ride. So promise me, Jess. Promise you're gonna keep going. Find a new crew. Keep goin' without us. Because you're too important to lose. You go be important to someone else.

[ Ghoul has to know! Jesse has to tell him. All that bullshit about not being able to later. All that.

Jesse turns his face into Ghoul's shirt and hangs on. He doesn't know what he's going to do next, how he's going to do this on his own. It's possible, sure, he can, but - Ghoul had his back. How's Jesse going to sleep now?

What's even worse is Ghoul reassuring him he's not afraid, and no, of course, he wouldn't be. He's never acted like he would be, even when things were at their worst. It's just, Jesse thought if they went out, it'd be at the same time. He wants to hitch a ride. But - for Ghoul, he can try. It's only because Ghoul is asking him (it's selfish to ask that, Jesse thinks, so fucking selfish but last wishes usually are, and that chokes him up all over again).

Jesse pulls away from Ghoul after a moment, gently, and takes his hands, holding them tightly, unable to meet Ghoul's eyes for the moment. ] ... Yeah. Yeah, I promise.

[ His eyes fall on the bandana instead. His voice wavers and shakes terribly: ] How - how long, d'you think?

[They're a couple of selfish bastards. Maybe that's why they both hung on so long. Ghoul looks down at their hands, sniffs, and looks away. He doesn't wanna go like this. He wanted them to go down fighting if they had to go down at all.]

Dunno. Hard to tell. Twenty minutes? Half hour? Be less if the fucker bit closer. [Like the ones that got Poison. They swarmed him. Grabbed him up and pulled him down. Took chunks out of his neck and everywhere else. Ghoul can still see the look on his face, clear as day, when their eyes met for a split second before Ghoul raised his weapon and shot him clean in the head. He hadn't looked scared, either. He'd accepted it. Almost like he was giving Ghoul permission.

... Never been the same since.]

[ That's all. That's all they have left, and Jesse has to take a slow breath to stop himself from freaking out. Okay. Okay, shh, relax. Make good of those twenty minutes, thirty minutes.

This is as good of time as any. Perfect, even. Jesse swallows hard and reaches into his jacket. Pulls out a pack of cigarettes, and shows them to Ghoul. ]

Okay. [ Jesse says roughly, voice cracking. He keeps going, determined. ] Okay, so we're gonna smoke these, then. I been - I was saving 'em. For when... [ When we got to safety. Jesse looks down at his hands. Slow breaths. ] So we're gonna do this now.

Fucking - help me get it open while I find my lighter. [ Fuck, he's crying again, and he disguises it by patting himself down. ]

Shit. No way. How long you been holdin' out on me with those? [He's smiling, his eyes are shining, but it hurts so bad. No, not his arm. The implications. Jesse had been saving the pack.

Jesse's voice cracking.

Jesse crying.

It hurts. He sighs. Takes the pack from Jesse and opens it without saying a word. He stays close without touching, hovers in Jesse's vicinity, just stays in his orbit.]

You gotta watch, though. Gotta be careful.

[Because he's not Fun Ghoul anymore. He's a fucking time bomb. Jesse's gotta watch. Watch his back. Another sigh.] Try to give you a heads up if I can.

Shut up. [ Jesse bitches, but it lacks any sort of heat. He's too exhausted, too mentally done to really think much more. For right now, he takes another breath and takes one of the cigarettes, not bothering to stay far from Ghoul. This is the last touch he's going to get for a while. He's soaking it up, curling against Ghoul's side and lighting the cigarette, taking a long, steady drag.

He coughs. It's been so long since he's smoked. ] I had 'em for a while. Was gonna surprise you with 'em.

[ Dully, relishing the burn in his lungs: ] Fucking surprise.

[Ghoul laughs. Actually laughs, real and genuine. He hasn't laughed in months. Maybe a snicker or some shit here and there, a giggle at something stupid someone said, but ever since it got down to just the two of them, he hasn't laughed. Not really.

He pulls out his own cigarette and leans forward, letting it hang down out of his mouth while he swipes the lighter. His left hand is clumsy, fingers losing feeling, but he gets it lit. Burn. Suck. Blow. Goddamn, is he gonna miss this. Gonna miss a lot of things.

He slips the lighter back into one of Jesse's pockets before slinging his good arm over the other man's shoulders. Fine. You stay close. Ghoul's the one that's gonna be careful.]

Any other surprises you got I should know about? Anything else I gotta know?

[ Neither of them have, and it's a little jarring to hear, really. Jesse clings even more tightly. Just another sound to keep with him. Just another sound he will keep with him.

For a while, Jesse's silent, thinking about what Ghoul asks him, and he sighs. ] ... I dunno. Been a long time since I could even have secrets, G, y'know? World like this and there's barely even time for talking.

[ Jesse takes a drag off his cigarette, closing his eyes for a moment. ] Honestly? More curious about you.

[Curious, huh? He's still got secrets. Hell, they all did, even after running with Jesse and Galen for a while. The other three took a lot of those secrets with them when they went. None of it really seems all that important now that he's so damn close to the end.

Jesse knows about the Girl. They told him that much. He knows about the shit Bli pulled and he's got an idea about how all this started. The drug. The side effects. He knows she's still out there, he knows they lost her a second time. But what doesn't he know? What could he possible tell him--... Oh. Right. Hmm.

Ghoul plucks the cigarette from his mouth, lazily holding it between his index and middle finger while he scratches the side of his nose with his thumb. He takes a deep breath, weighing his options. Someone should know. There should be someone left that knows. Fuck notoriety, fuck a legacy, he just wants someone to know.]

... My-- uh. My name's Vince. Used t'be, I mean. Before all this. [He sniffs, makes a face, and looks over at Jesse.] The boys knew. Thought maybe... maybe you should, too.

[ Jesse knows a lot about Ghoul. Ghoul knows a lot about him. Jesse was engaged. He had a life. He had friends (dead) and no family he cared to speak of (also dead and good fucking riddance, Jesse only hopes he sees the motherfucker so he can kill him himself) and a job (dead end). Drugs, sex, and rock and roll. Until Galen.

(Dead.)

Jesse watches Ghoul for second. This is big. Important, because he knows this is something they didn't give out. Party and the rest, they didn't do names, not real ones. It was a secret he'd thought would be taken to the grave. But Ghoul - Vince. Tells him.

So now he knows, and the heaviness in his chest intensifies again. This is final. It's so final, and Jesse takes Ghoul's shirt in his fingers and kisses him, very lightly, lingers.

Pulls away. Looks at the ground, then at Ghoul. His voice is tight, but steady. ] I'm gonna keep it for you. I'll keep it safe.

[Ghoul's left staring blankly. Another thing he hasn't had in a long time, another thing he's really gonna miss. Affection. Love. And he does love Jesse like one of his own. He's crew. He's family.

He's all that's left.]

Yeah? Knew you would. Don't trust anyone else with that shit. [He smiles. Still hurts. Sitting here like this is making it worse. It's making him not want to go.

Ghoul takes another long drag of his cigarette, slow, savouring, trying to just hold on. He exhales just as slow, taking another look at Jesse and reaching up to muss his hair. Keep it light. Try not to think. He knew going into this that they probably wouldn't make it. It'll be worth it if Jesse does.]

You remember the plan? You head North. Keep headin' North. Stick with the rules-- [He breaks off into a coughing fit. It sounds wet. He pulls his arm back, covers his mouth, shifts away just slightly. Keep your distance.]

[ Jesse has no idea how Ghoul is doing it. Smiling. Jesse would try, but he thinks if he did it'd just turn back into crying and he can't do that. Not when he's already done it, not when Ghoul is fucking smiling at him.

No crying, not even when Ghoul pulls away to cough, and Jesse looks up sharply, ready to bolt. Even at his lowest his survival instincts kick in, but. It's getting closer. Jesse swallows hard, and takes one last drag of his cigarette before dropping it, putting it out, wanting to reach. ]

Y-- yeah. Yeah, I know. [ Oh, god. ] I -- [ Oh god. ] F-fuck. [ He has to shoot him. He has to shoot Ghoul so he doesn't come back. ]

[When it's over, when he can breathe again, Ghoul scratches at the back of his head before reaching out to gently grab Jesse's arm.]

Hey... hey, it's okay. Gonna be okay. Gimme-- lemme do it. Gimme the gun. Lemme do it while I still can. Y'don't have to stay. Don't have to...

No, nnn - [ Jesse shakes his head almost violently. No, he has to stay, he - he owes it to him. Jesse reaches for real this time, holding Ghoul's hand again, pulling it to his chest and hugging it tightly, swallowing back the heat behind his eyes. Just let him get his voice back. ]

I do, I gotta. [ He holds Ghoul's hand. ] S'okay. S'okay, I'm gonna do it, you don't - you don't gotta be alone. [ He couldn't. That would be the worst thing Jesse could do.

He lets go of Ghoul's hand just for a second, just to grab the gun. His hands shake terribly, but he has it. It takes everything in him not to just fucking - dissolve. ]

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