I want this for Christmas.

[simplememes]

The Lap Pillow Meme

From TV Tropes: A good way to show the physical intimacy and trust which a couple have is to rest one's head on the other's lap. Usually, the man does the resting while the woman provides the lap, not only because of anatomical reasons but because the lap-owner is typically of a nurturing nature more associated with femininity. Bonus points if she's feeding him grapes or stroking his hair. In some cases this is done between people who are not necessarily lovers, to comfort someone who is weeping or injured.

Or, in the case of the meme: screw the rules, we'll do anything. Maybe they're tired and just found a good place to rest? Maybe both parties were asleep? Hard to tell. All we know is, someone's head is going to be on another person's lap. Shenanigans will ensue.

How this works:
→ Leave a comment with the usual information in the subject line: character name, fandom. Any preferences, including what you don't want, should be included as well.
→ Congratulations,whoever tags your character has their head on your character's lap!
→ Tag around. Please please tag around.
→ Have fun, and be excellent to each other!

Comments

[vintagecaptain]

Steve has mixed feelings on getting delivery. It's convenient sure, but he knows how easy it is to just stay inside all the time that way. And how bad that was for him back when he first got out of the ice. He doesn't want Bucky to hide from the world.

"I don't think those little diners deliver," he says, looking for a middle ground sort of answer. He doesn't like making Bucky do things when he doesn't want to. He always wants him to have that choice and be free. "We might be able to get carry out if we walk over."

That would be a good compromise. Bucky gets out and talks to people for a little while and then they go back to the relative safety of the hotel room.

[notworthallthis]

“True,” he relents and keeps dragging his fingers through Steve’s hair, blunt nails scraping lightly over his scalp, trailing the same, steady path down to his neck and back up.

He hums agreeably and nods even though Steve can’t see him. “No, you’re right, we should go. Proper. Sit in a booth and everything,” he’s still a little on edge in public, surrounded by people. But the only way to get better is to keep trying. He can’t re-acclimate if he hides all the time. It’s just so much easier to isolate himself.

[vintagecaptain]

It's hard to concentrate on drawing when Bucky's doing that. His shoulders relax bit by bit, tension just melting away. Steve wants to put the sketchbook down, turn onto his side, and hide his face against Bucky's stomach. He resist the urge.

"I hope they have a tuna melt," Steve says focusing on his drawing even more. He's not going to get distracted and get clingy just because Bucky's is touching him so gently. "And thick cut fries. I really want some thick cut fries."

All of that sounds really nice but he's still too comfortable to move. When his hunger was too much then he'd move, but not a moment sooner.

[notworthallthis]

He can feel the tension ease out of Steve’s shoulders and a soft smile touches his lips. That was the idea, so it’s good to see it working.

Bucky is relaxed here with Steve pressed against him, no pressure to be anything or anyone he isn’t. Criminal, victim, hero— none of that matters here, here he gets to just be Bucky.
James.
Sometimes, he thinks he still feels like the person that James used to be.

“We’ll never be the same, will we?” he mumbles softly into the silence that has enveloped them while Steve was working on his drawing. “Everything is too… different now.”

[vintagecaptain]

It's a heavy question. One that makes Steve put his sketchbook aside so that he can give Bucky his full attention.

"We wouldn't have been the same after the war," he offers, reaching for Bucky's hand to hold it gently. "Even if you didn't fall and I didn't crash, we wouldn't have been the same."

They could never ben those young men in Brooklyn ever again. They lost that the second they went to war. "The best we get now is to figure out who we want to be in this day and age. We've got a lot of choices."

He put Bucky's hand on his chest over his heart. "And we've got each other."

[notworthallthis]

When Steve takes his hand, Bucky feels something gently bloom in his chest. “I know…” he’s right, of course he’s right, they were coming back home changed, no matter what happened.

When Steve puts Bucky’s hand over his heart, it bursts, bright and warm. His heart is in his throat when he breathes out a soft, “Yeah… we always have that,” his fingers twist slightly into the material of Steve’s shirt. Why do some emotions hit him so much harder than others?

[vintagecaptain]

The much death and a good portion of it senseless and stupid, left scars no matter what. Steve still dreams of the war sometimes. It haunts him, not that he really lets people know. He keeps going forward because he can't go back.

"And I know I say it a lot, but you decide who you want to be now," Steve says, looking up at Bucky with a hopeful, earnest expression. "And I'm here to help you find that. Even if you end up being a guy who roots for the Yankees."

He hopes that will break the tension a little. He knows Bucky doesn't like to talk about himself these days. Steve doesn't care who he is, though, because he's still Bucky.

[notworthallthis]

Sometimes, Bucky works himself into a paranoid trail of thoughts that threatens to strangle him— it’s the worst at night when he’s trying to sleep. Those moments are the hardest, and he hopes he can skip that tradition tonight.

“I know…” his voice is quiet and a little hoarse, “but that’s terrifying to me right now. I don’t know where to start.” He had this chance, a second- third?- chance at life, and this time he had complete control of it. Bucky still isn’t sure what to do with that many options in front of him.

It’s the right move: Something breaks loose and he scoffs softly, shaking his head. “You don’t have to worry about that, at least.”

[vintagecaptain]

"You'll figure that out." He rubs his hand over Bucky's to help soothe him. He knew how hard it was to find your place in the modern world. Steve woke up some nights thinking it was still 1930. He still didn't really know his purpose besides being Captain America. "One day at a time. Or I can give you my lists. People had a lot of ideas on what I needed to see or learn about."

In the end it came down to adapting or going insane. Steve wasn't going to let that happen to Bucky. He'd help him through it no matter what.

"Thank God. Sam might have to be my best friend if you became a Yankees fan." He can keep teasing about that. Yankees fans are a sin against God. "Oh! Do you want to see a Dodgers game when we get to California? I know it won't be the same but we could go."

[notworthallthis]

"You're so sure... I wish I was," he twists his hand to tangle his fingers with Steve's and squeezes. Tight.

He smirks a little, "There are lists?" somehow, he isn't surprised by this news at all.

"Please, you can't replace me," he snaps back teasingly, and for just a second or two, the rakish grin of years ago flashes through his face.

[vintagecaptain]

"I believe in you. I can be sure enough for the both of us." Steve didn't know if that would be enough in the end. Bucky has so much work to do but he has faith. It would be cruel to get Bucky back only to lose him again.

He did have his notebook in his bag which was on the other bed. Getting it meant getting up and Steve didn't want to do that. He really couldn't with Bucky holding his hand either. "Yeah, people kept recommending things to be so I kept lists. I'll show you one at dinner."

No, there's no replacing Bucky. Even though he's gotten close to a few people none of them fill that place in Steve's heart. "Maybe. Maybe not. I'd have to try first."

[notworthallthis]

"That makes one of us," he says with a huff. He's determined to figure it out. Hopefully, this trip helps as much as he thinks it might.

He smiles softly and nods, "Yeah, I'd like to see it," he is curious but mostly, he just wants to lay here forever. It can wait until later.

"Nope," he says lightly, tilting his head back further into the mound of pillows behind him. "You're stuck with me, Rogers."

[vintagecaptain]

Fuck it.

Steve rolls onto his side, slides his arm around Bucky and presses his face against his stomach. He just can't stand how hopeless Bucky seems about his future. He has one and yes, that's a lot but it can be a good thing. Steve just doesn't know how to make him see it.

"There's a lot of great things about the future. You'll see. And the future is a better place with you in it," he says, though his voice is muffled by how he's hugging Bucky. "I know it's hard for you and I really wish I could make you have some hope about it. And your place in it."

[notworthallthis]

"Hey..." he murmurs softly, curling his fingers into Steve's hair again as he presses closer. "I know, it's-" he sighs softly. "I'm trying. I swear to God, I am."

Steve's voice is muffled, but he can still understand him anyway. "I'm working on it. You'll see," he mumbles, pressing a kiss to Steve's temple. "It'll be different when we get to California."

[vintagecaptain]

Of course Bucky's trying. Steve feels a little guilty voicing his fears and worries like that. If Bucky wasn't trying things would be very different. Maybe at the end of this roadtrip he won't be so afraid Bucky's going to disappear again.

"I know. You're doing great." Steve relaxes his hold and lets out a breath. "I can't help the heroic speeches sometimes."

He's got to trust Bucky. Steve's got to remember that. Bucky is giving it his best.

He rolls back onto his back to look up at a ceiling. "I guess thinking about the war brought that out."

[notworthallthis]

"You were giving speeches way before you were Captain of anything," he chuckles lightly. "You might've only been 90 pounds soaking wet, but you had the courage of twenty guys twice your size."

Bucky shakes his head, "It's fine, Steve..." he insists in soft undertones, smiling slightly as he follows Steve's gaze up to the ceiling. Briefly. A moment later, his eyes trail back down to Steve's face. "It's okay. Promise."

[vintagecaptain]

"Yeah, well, I couldn't fight with my fists. Figured words were the next best thing." Steve almost misses those days sometimes. Everything seemed a little easier even though it was really hard.

It is probably fine. It will be fine. They'll be okay. They always came out okay, no matter how sick Steve got or how little money they had. They always made it somehow.

"I believe you." He smiles back at Bucky. "I believe in you."

Always had. Always would.

[notworthallthis]

Bucky misses those days, too. Just two kids struggling to make it. He even missed the docks sometimes. “At some point on this trip, we should go fishing.”

His breath catches in his throat at that last comment, “You might be the only one,” he says on a sigh, shaking his head a little. “But that’s the opinion I care the most about, so I’m okay with that.”

[vintagecaptain]

"I haven't been fishing since... I think '37?" Steve can almost remember sitting on some rocks with poles in the river. A river that probably wasn't safe to eat anything out of given pollution at the time but they did anyway because the fish they caught were free. "We'll have to get some poles somewhere. I bet Yellowstone has good fishing."

They can look at the map later and pick the state they want to fish in. Steve thinks they're both going to be terrible but that's not really the point. The point is to do it.

"Always got me in your corner." He squeezes his hand tight for a second. Eventually, he'd get Bucky to believe in himself as well. It's just going to be slow going, apparently.

[notworthallthis]

“Definitely been awhile,” he nods a little in agreement. It would be fun, and that’s really all he needs out of it. “That’s an easy fix, at least.” There might even be rentals for that sort of thing. “We’ll figure it out. We’ve got plenty of time.”

He smiles and returns the squeeze, “I know I do,” he says softly, a tiny smile hiding in the corner of his mouth.

[vintagecaptain]

He chuckles a little. "Maybe that's how I get you to go camping. We go fishing too." Steve likes the idea of roughing it which he knows doesn't appeal to Bucky. He thinks it'll be fun, if only for a night or two. Not for long. They did that during the war and it had definitely not been fun.

Steve rubs his thumb across Bucky's knuckles gently. "I forgot all about the mistakes I made drawing. Were you trying to distract me that much?"

He figures it's time for a lighter topic. Bucky's revealed a lot about his hopes and fears. Steve's got him to agree to dinner out of the hotel room. That's a good conversation.

[notworthallthis]

"I might be agreeable to that," he says with a grin. He may not want to rough it the whole trip, but there would be plenty of chances for veering off on side-trips like that.

"No," He chuckles lightly at that, watching the thumb running along his knuckles with a smile that's softened at the edges.

[vintagecaptain]

"I think I'll start the drawing over again." He sighs a little, still idly brushing his thumb back and forth. "After dinner. And I'll sit up for it."

Better posture and sitting at the little desk in the room would definitely help him draw better. He could focus on the details a little better and wouldn't be distracted by Bucky's fingers in his hair.

He wasn't going to get up right now. This is nice. It's been a long time since he relaxed like this with anyone. It's nice to feel safe and content. God, being with Bucky makes him so happy.

[notworthallthis]

"Hmmm, yeah," he chuckles softly. "good idea." That feather-light touch is like a jolt every time he reaches one side of his hand and starts the trail back the other way.

There are so many different things they can take the time to do and see and explore. He decides he'll start thinking of things and write them down to discuss more details with Steve later.

"Is it too late for a nap?" because it might be a really good idea. He's so comfortable, and Steve doesn't seem keen to move, either.

[vintagecaptain]

"I don't think so." Steve turns his head to glance at his watch, which is old fashioned with hands instead of digital. "Go ahead. I can move if you need me to."

A nap now might be the only sleep Bucky gets tonight. Steve doesn't like to think in those terms but he is. If Bucky gets some sleep now that's good. It'll be some sleep instead of none.

"I'll wake you up when I get hungry." Because eventually he would. Steve's metabolism and muscle mass demand food on a regular basis.