bakerstreet | insomnia

insomnia

the i n s o m n i a meme

It happens to everyone - sometimes, you have nights where you just can't fall asleep, no matter what you do. It could be for a number of reasons, or no reason at all. And this is what's happened now: you've been laying in bed for what feels like hours, just tossing and turning, and nothing seems to help. So what's left to do? Get out of bed and go wake someone else up, of course. If you're not getting any sleep, then why should they?

i n s t r u c t i o n s

• Post with your character (note the name and fandom in the subject).
• Other people reply to you by generating a number from 1 to 10.
• Have fun!

o p t i o n s

01 • FEAR. Maybe you're hearing strange, indeterminable noises; maybe there's a severe storm happening outside; maybe you watched a scary movie before bed? Whatever the reason, you're terrified and it's keeping you awake. You just want to wake someone else up so they can protect you from the monster in your closet.
02 • HUNGER. Your stomach is growling and it just won't stop. Or perhaps your throat is so dry you could cough up a tumbleweed? Well, you've gone to the kitchen to remedy this and hey, that was a pan that just dropped on the floor. It was loud enough to wake the dead! Oops.
03 • PAIN. Your body is completely worn out, be it from exercise, battle, sickness, or what have you. Either way you're in enough pain to keep you from sleeping, so maybe someone else has a home remedy or something, or can at least help you take your mind off of it.
04 • SOLITUDE. For some reason, your bed just feels so empty at the moment. You're feeling terribly lonely and really just want someone to keep you company for a while. Maybe it'd be easier to fall asleep if you're with them...
05 • DISCOMFORT. Your room is an oven. Either that or a freezer. Or maybe this bed is just really uncomfortable? Who knows why you can't get to sleep, it feels like it could be anything. Why even bother trying? Maybe someone else can preoccupy you until you feel tired enough to ignore your discomfort.
06 • PENSIVE. Something's on your mind, and no matter how hard you try to focus elsewhere, it's just not going to work. Your body may be tired, but your mind is incredibly busy and it's virtually impossible to get to sleep. Surely, talking it out with someone else will help?
07 • SADNESS. Something terrible has happened that day, perhaps; or you could just be severely depressed. Either way you're trying your hardest not to cry yourself to sleep, and it's not working at all. Better find a way to get it out of your system somehow; you need a shoulder to cry on.
08 • ANGER. You are just... fuming. Who knows why - that annoying dog is barking again, or maybe the people next door are getting busy and keeping you awake. Whatever the reason for your ire is, you'd better put an end to it so you can get some damn rest already! Go wake up a friend so you can complain to them.
09 • RESTLESS. You're far too energetic to sleep right now. Maybe you're just trying to do so out of necessity - you have to be up early tomorrow! But you just don't think you'll be able to fall asleep for a while now, so why waste the time trying to sleep when you could be doing something else? Namely bothering someone else - you're totally jealous because they're getting more sleep than you.
10 • WILDCARD. Choose one of the options above, or make up your own scenario.

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[ normally, kaeya might laugh, and enjoy the sight of diluc making an utter fool of himself. it's a rare sight, after all, for diluc is always playing the part of dignified young master, and under any other circumstance it might be funny.

but it isn't funny. kaeya is just.. worried. ]

Luc..

[ snapping the door shut behind him, kaeya steps forward and approaches, snagging diluc beneath the arms and lifting him back up to his feet. he reeks of wine. gods, he's always been such a lightweight. kaeya holds tight to him, to make sure he doesn't slip and fall, his eye searching diluc's face; he's much easier to read when he's been drinking. ]

Let's get you some water to drink, hmm?

[ the world is moving and it's disorienting, making Diluc whine out his protests until he blinks and suddenly Kaeya is there, close enough for him to see even through his hazy vision. and it's then that the biggest, dopiest smile breaks out on Diluc's face as he throws his arms around his sworn brother with a delighted: ]

Kaeya!

[ as if they haven't seen each other in years and only parted on the best terms.

he does his best to hug him - phew, thank goodness he's able to keep himself up easily - arms thrown around his shoulders as he tucks his face into Kaeya's neck and nuzzles. his heart hurts a little but he can't really remember why? all that he knows is that he's so, so happy that Kaeya is here with him now... ]

Hehe, did you miss me? Is that why you came?

[ the message he's written has already been forgotten, blissfully erased from his memories. but ironically enough, he remembers something else. with his voice lowering to a conspiratorial whisper, ]

Ah, let me guess~ you couldn't wait the two full days, huh?

[ a jerky nod, which immediately makes him scrunch his face up in pain. ]

I understand. I felt like that too....

[ it's almost painful, seeing diluc this way. not because he's drunk, but because he's so much like the young boy that kaeya once knew, like the sweet, happy child that welcomed kaeya into his life without hesitation. so much had changed between them, but this.. this feels like erasing all of that pain.

for diluc, at least.

kaeya huffs a quiet laugh for diluc's sake, both arms winding tight around his middle both to placate him and to keep him steady. the last thing he needs is for diluc to crash into something and hit his head. he doesn't know how to handle himself when he's drunk. ]

Right, that's just it.

[ that isn't it, but the lie comes easily. not to say that he wasn't looking forward to another night in bed with diluc - he absolutely was - but not like this. right now his main focus is taking care of his sworn brother, not fucking him. kaeya might be promiscuous, but even he has boundaries, and he's not about to take advantage of diluc when he's so incredibly compromised. thankfully, kaeya has some practice at handling drunks. ]

Here, can you sit down for me?

[ Diluc is stubborn when he's sober, and it's not a quality that lightens just because he's drunk. instead of being obedient, he clings to Kaeya, fingers suddenly curling into his jacket with his typical strength as his expression becomes one of alarm. ]

Don' l've me.

[ he says in a hurry, the slur of his speech even worse from the rapid pace. real tears begin to form in his eyes as he blinks up at his sworn brother like he's seeing him for the first time. but also like he's terrified for some reason. and then he repeats, ]

Don' leave me. I miss you so much, it hurts.

[ he doesn't remember all the details, but he does know that the emptiness in his life has been painful to bear, every single day, and that when they were together, facing the world with each other, it was different. magical. now he's so tired for reasons he can't even explain. ]

Tell me what I need to do... to make you stay.... I'll do anything... I'll be good, I swear, I swear, I swear-

[ it was difficult enough to see diluc this way without the added bonus of their shared trauma and separation coming up. kaeya feels a painful stab in his heart, his stomach clenching tightly. ]

Luc..

[ he's going to need some time to sort this all out, to consider what it means. sure, kaeya could write this all off as drunken rambling, but as the saying goes, a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts. is this how diluc really feels? it can't be. he's always so cold, always pushing kaeya away, and sure, they'd shared a fantastic, intimate night, but..

he'll think about it later. now isn't the time. ]

Hey, hey, I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'm here.

[ kaeya's voice is soft, and carefully, he sits them both down onto the edge of the bed, both arms still looped around diluc's middle, holding him close. he needs water and food in his stomach, but.. it can wait a minute. ]

I'm here.

[ therein lies Diluc's ultimate secret: he can, in fact, function independently, solely on a feverish sense of justice. it's how he's been existing these past few years, hoping that such a noble mindset won't lead him to any more pain. but...

he tries to touch a gloved hand to his chest in wonder. ]

M'heart feels so much more alive with you.

[ and when he's sober, it's terrifying to realize. and feel. but right now, even the warmth of the alcohol can't compete with the wild, needy ache in his heart to keep Kaeya near, now fully out of its cage. and he melts into the tight embrace because it's familiar and it's home. ah yes. now he doesn't remember why he felt so empty! ]

Thank you.

[ he murmurs, sleepy in the way someone can be when they're completely content. if he were in his right mind, Diluc would question that promise to Celestia and back. but right now, as he burrows his face into Kaeya's neck and does his best to cling back, there's no tension in his body whatsoever. just complete trust and vulnerability. ]

Hmm... want you to stay... the night... Kaeya, le's cuddle.

[ those words make his heart ache deeply. what he wouldn't have given to hear them from a sober diluc's mouth. ]

I'll stay.

[ he says, softly, lifting a hand to brush the fiery hair from diluc's face. even after all they've been through, all the pain, all the separation, all the anger, he can never bring himself to lash out at diluc. it's all his fault, after all, what happened between them. all the secrets. the lies that kaeya held close to his chest.

still, he can't help his smile. diluc is quite cute like this, and the closeness reminds kaeya of better times, of warm memories. ]

But only if you drink some water for me, all right?

[ he's going to wake up with one hell of a hangover either way, but it'll be a bit less severe if he's properly hydrated. kaeya would certainly know, having weathered many a work day hangover. ]

[ his face immediately turns to nuzzle into the hand that brushes his hair away, Diluc immediately reverting to the picture of happiness with an off-tune hum. the touch is so refreshingly cool to his heated skin, even through the gloves - or perhaps because of them? - that he almost chases down the length of Kaeya's arm to try and get more of the same feeling.

thankfully that endeavor doesn't last too long, as being bent over in any way proves to be too much for his balance capabilities to handle, and Diluc sits back up, blinking at Kaeya and resembling the most obedient child. ... it doesn't last. ]

For you, I'll do anything!

[ it's a proclamation very similarly made in their childhood, when Diluc would try to be the best older brother he could be and make all sorts of outlandish promises to make Kaeya feel better. except this time, he's launching forward to hug Kaeya tight and kiss his cheek (he misses, gets his ear) and his forehead (gets an eyebrow) and his lips (his chin). ]

I'll always protect you, and make sure that you're never ever lonely again!

[ kaeya is sure that his heart is breaking.

this is like walking into the past, right into a living memory. diluc is warm and sweet against him, peppering him with tender kisses and hugs as if they're young boys again, chasing one another through the vineyards under the summer sun. the memories are so close they are almost palpable.

but this will last only the night. tomorrow, it will all shatter, and kaeya will be alone again.

all the more reason to enjoy this time while he has it, he supposes. chuckling low in his throat, kaeya smiles, his thumb gliding along diluc's cheek before he finally withdraws, pulling diluc's arms away from his shoulders so he can stand. ]

I know you will. So just sit tight, I'm going to get you something to drink.

[ thankfully, he needn't leave the room for it. a pitcher of water sits on a push cart near the door, along with several glasses. by this time of night the ice has all melted, but that's hardly an issue for kaeya. pouring a glass, he cools the water to a nice, crisp temperature before returning to diluc's side, holding the glass up for him, though he won't let go until he's sure that diluc is holding it firmly in both hands. ]

Go on then, drink the entire thing, then we can get some sleep, hm?

[ he is woefully unhappy about the distance, but accepts Kaeya's brief departure with just a pout, and the nice chill of the glass is enough to compel him to drink the water down - when has he become so thirsty?? it clears his mind a little, just enough for Diluc to recognize that he has to set the cup back down before he attempts to burrow himself back into Kaeya's arms, clearly set on the idea of them cuddling together to sleep. ]

You know what we should do?

[ it's back to the conspiratorial whispering. clearly Adelinde has a hold over Diluc no matter what state he's in! ]

We should go to the beach and pick more seashells, like we did before. I still want to get you a whoooole sand mora, in perfect condition, because I promised you would, right? And I always... always wanna keep my promises...

[ the clothes are mildly uncomfortable but not enough to keep Diluc from trying to press Kaeya down onto the bed so he can spoon him and cling to him all through the night. ]

I h-heard that some animals, they give tokens to the ones they love, like pebbles. And that means they'll be together for life. I thought about getting you a ring, once, but they're so difficult to wear with gloves on... a perfect shell might be better... don't you think so?

[ diluc drains his water, and kaeya feels better for it. he should probably get some food in him, too, but somehow he doesn't think that diluc will allow him to leave for the kitchens without kicking up a fuss. he was often clingy like this when they were young as well, always holding tightly to kaeya, climbing into his bed, finding excuses to touch and cuddle him. at first, a young kaeya had found it alarming. he wasn't used to such affection. but in time, he warmed to it.

and then he learned to live without it.

yet now, in this moment, diluc is his young self again, pawing at kaeya, holding to him, and it clutches his heart as tight as a fist, squeezing. and then diluc is going on about pebbles, love tokens, rings, and kaeya can hardly bear it. he's so tempted simply to run, to sprint back to mondstadt and pretend as if none of this had ever happened.

but he can't bring himself to leave diluc, not when he's like this, not when kaeya promised he would stay. diluc tugs them both down onto the bed, and kaeya allows it, though he kicks off his boots before drawing his legs up onto the bed, and reclining comfortably. ]

That sounds great, Luc.

[ he says in a voice gone soft, his fingers slipping into diluc's hair, scratching gently at his scalp. ]

Get some sleep.

[ for once, the tables have turned. sleeping is easy, fitful, with no nightmares that plague Diluc until he's coasting on that uneasy plane of being half-awake and half-asleep. and waking up... is beyond difficult. once his consciousness is roused enough to feel the aching pain of his head, it simply doesn't let up, pounding away at him, seemingly poking at his eyeballs and continually bashing his skull over and over again until he stirs, helplessly driven to stop it. but apart from that discomfort and the overtly dried feeling of his mouth, he's comfortable.

he hasn't slept with anyone in years, but it only takes him seconds to recognize the familiar scent of his sworn brother, and the uncanny manner in which they curl together during their sleep, completely comfortable. his eyes feel sore and delicate but he opens them with alarm as he sluggishly moves to maintain some distance between them, and promptly fails. ah, well. even an inch or two is more decent than being pressed up against Kaeya like a needy puppy... even if it means his face has been half-swallowed up by a pillow. ]

What...?

[ archons, even speaking is difficult. his voice sounds like a broken machine from Fontaine. the sunlight hurts. he closes his eyes again and tries to center himself. it doesn't work; everything still hurts. he doesn't even know if his company is awake at the moment, but if his movements haven't woken Kaeya up, then his inconsiderate grate of a voice probably has.

why do people drink if this is how they're going to feel the next day..... ]

What happened....

[ kaeya, meanwhile, sleeps terribly.

it takes a long time for him to fall asleep in the first place, thick as his mind is with heavy, painful thoughts that he just can't shake, and by the time he finally falls asleep it's nearly dawn. but diluc is curled against him, warm and solid, smelling so achingly familiar that it's bittersweet. kaeya falls asleep with his face pressed into diluc's wild crimson hair.

at the very least, he sleeps deeply once the time comes, and he does not wake until diluc begins to move, murmuring in the morning light. kaeya stirs, rubbing his eye with the heel of one hand. sleeping fully dressed had not been comfortable at all. ]

Mm.. good question.

[ he hadn't stopped to ask why diluc had been drinking to begin with. kaeya muffles a wide yawn behind his knuckles. ]

What were you up to last night?

[ with pain comes clarity - and regret. it doesn't take Diluc long at all to remember his stupid spiral into feelings of insecurity, which seem even more foolish when he thinks of what he might even say to Kaeya. because i got jealous when i had no right to be? yeah, not happening.

but no one was supposed to know?? he frowns as he tries to remember how and when Kaeya appeared; his sworn brother might have amazing instincts but even he can't have perfect sixth sense to show up when Diluc's at his most vulnerable. which could only mean... ]

I wrote to you, didn't I?

[ he groans, actively trying to resist the temptation to roll back into Kaeya's space and go back to sleep to avoid dealing with all of this until later. instead, he takes a few moments to try and get his brain to work, to figure out the best way to ask - ]

...What did I say to you last night?

You certainly did.

[ that much is easy to admit, and the truth. kaeya rolls onto his side, propping his head up on one crooked arm, and yawns again.

that second question, however.. he has no idea how to answer. ever since their terrible fight, kaeya has tried to never lie to diluc again. not about anything important, at least. but he hardly wants to tell him the truth right now, either, it's so very much to unpack, so much to understand. kaeya is sure to keep his expression neutral when, in the end, he opts for a middle ground. ]

Oh, you were just a little.. clingy.

[ he smirks. ]

It was cute.

[ he finds that he can't maintain eye contact with Kaeya after that, and rolls onto his back with some difficulty, somewhat relieved - and annoyed - that he's still in his typical outside outfit. the bed is cold where he lands, and he closes his eyes to try not to flush through the embarrassing implication that he's been clinging to Kaeya for the entirety of the time they've been together.

because he has more important things to think about! such as apologizing. ]

I... am sorry.

[ Dawn Winery is far from the city's limits. he can't imagine what he must've said to compel Kaeya to come to him when he could've been doing anything else, but he wills himself not to feel too special. his sworn brother is a good guy, after all. he'd do such a thing for anyone, even if his words would say otherwise.

but there is one more thing he has to say, which is... ]

And thank you. For taking care of me. There won't be a next time, but. If, against my will, there is, feel free to leave me where I am, even if the hilichurls might find me. Death would be easier to handle than this humiliation.

[ at that, kaeya can't help but laugh. ]

You're so dramatic, Luc.

[ and then he's sitting up, stretching his arms over his head until his back pops satisfactorily, and scratching idly beneath his eyepatch, where the fabric had pressed uncomfortably into his face while he slept. ]

I absolutely won't do that, but I'll at least consider it, for the sake of your feelings.

[ his slanted smile is warm as he glances down toward where diluc lays, fully dressed and hungover and just a little pathetic in his wallowing. just a little. just an amusing amount. and then kaeya is up on his feet with a groan, and crossing the room to pour and chill another glass of water for diluc. ]

Best cure for a hangover is water, and a good breakfast.

[ Luc. no one but Kaeya calls him that. no one can, for any and all close interpersonal relationships died with their fight, and it makes it all the more precious to hear. and he loves the way Kaeya says his name. he, of course, has to grumble at the response and add in a jab at the knights: ]

The one time I ask you to be lazy and still you refuse me.

[ he opens his eyes when he feels Kaeya's weight leave the bed, suddenly feeling bereft enough to want him to stay, but that spike of fear is easily laid to rest as he sees what Kaeya has gotten up for, and he swallows as he makes the effort to sit up to drink the glass. ]

A good breakfast is the least I can do after causing you so much trouble.

[ he says once he's emptied the cup, already feeling far better now that his mouth isn't a dry cotton ball. his fingers come up to rub at his temples; he's alright sitting, but the thought of standing up makes him feel queasy enough that he dreads needing to puke. ]

Would you like to stay and eat here?

[ it's tempting to reach out and ruffle diluc's hair affectionately, as he might've done years ago, but so much has changed between them, the gesture would not be as welcome as it once was.

though.. perhaps he would be more welcome than he might have previously thought, given the things diluc said the previous night. kaeya's distracted for a moment, lost in thought, but soon enough he snaps back to the conversation. ]

I meant for you, not me.

[ though he could go for a little breakfast, himself..

more importantly, diluc probably shouldn't be wandering around, lest he lose his lunch. ]

Get into some comfortable clothes and get back into bed. I'll get Adelinde to send something up.

What? No-

[ the idea of being idle offends Diluc so deeply that he forgets about taking it slow when standing and ends up feeling the world tilt around him when he does it too quickly. he - flails, there's no other word for it - a bit before falling gracelessly onto the floor, unable to even direct his fall back to the bed. he's too well-bred to curse, but the temptation to do so is stronger than it's ever been. ]

... I'm fine.

[ he insists stubbornly, from the floor that has become his new seat. ]

I just- I just need some more water and food and I'll be good to go. It's the weekend, Charles will need help manning the bar.

[ he wants to get up so badly, but... the thought of standing from an even more difficult position is daunting. and he doesn't want to ask for Kaeya's help and go against his own point. ]

... but you can go, you know. Don't stay on my account.

[ aaand down he goes. he doesn't even have the time to catch him, for how quickly he goes down.

kaeya just. gives him a look. ]

.. you're on the floor, Luc. I don't think Charles would want you serving wine from the floor.

[ he crouches down to be better on diluc's level again, his smile warm and bemused. diluc was stubborn like this when they were little, too - trying to get him to do something he didn't want to do was an exercise in futility. but kaeya tries anyway, because diluc needs to take better care of himself than this. ]

I'm not going anywhere until you get back into that bed and get some food in you. The Angel's Share will be fine until evening. You need a few more hours of rest.

So you'll... go once I'm-

[ -back in bed?

he stops himself before he can finish that question, already too mortified at how utterly sad he sounded at that. where had that come from? one second, he'd just been looking into Kaeya's warm smile and wishing he could make it shine as brightly as he did when they were younger, and then -

let's try that again. ]

If I promise to get back in bed and get some food, will you go? I don't want to keep you. The knights have need of their Calvary Captain, after all.

[ he tries to get back up and his stomach lurches, which makes Diluc sit back down meekly. he'll just have to try again in a few minutes then. he sighs, rubbing his face harshly with both hands. ]

Just go, Kaeya. If you don't want to eat breakfast here, at least have Adelinde pack you some food for the road back.

[ diluc is so back and forth that kaeya can hardly keep track of him - one moment he seems almost sad, the next, it's like he's kicking kaeya right out.

well, he supposes that he shouldn't be too surprised. diluc is crabby enough as it is without being hungover, that he's even crankier still makes perfect sense. kaeya, thankfully, has grown quite accustomed to dealing with his sworn brother's thin temper, he hardly even blinks an eye. ]

I do have work to do, but I can spare a little more time. I'm in no rush.

[ it is the weekend, after all, as diluc had said, which means he has little enough to do save to catch up on paperwork.. which isn't exactly enticing. he's happy to hang around a bit longer, even if.. even if diluc's words from the previous night are still running through his head, however much he tries to ignore them.

he offers diluc an arm, to help haul him back to his feet and onto the bed. ]

Come on, then. Up.

How charitable of you.

[ he mutters, because obviously being sarcastic is a much better option to being grateful that Kaeya's kind enough to see him get better!! all it costs is his vulnerability, after all!!

still, Diluc sees the wisdom in actively working to get better before he has to show up at Angel's Share, and he gingerly takes Kaeya's arm with one hand, using the other to help himself rise more carefully. once he's sitting on the bed, he's wised up enough to start taking off his vest and belt before he makes any attempts to lie down on the bed.

it's been a long time since he's felt this weak and helpless and he hates it. and he hates that he misses Kaeya's warmth even more. if he gravitates towards where Kaeya was laying on the bed, then it's purely a coincidence. ]

Just out of curiosity, what did I write to alarm you enough to come over?

[ he's used to your sarcasm, diluc!! it hardly fazes him, anymore.

at least he's cooperating, that's all kaeya could ask for. he hauls diluc to his feet and makes sure he's settled, and as diluc begins to undress kaeya can't help but think of all that's happened. these last few days have been a whirlwind, and kaeya knows that he has some thinking to do over a glass of death after noon. or several.

he draws back to pour diluc a fresh glass of water, and he's about to step out when diluc asks him that. kaeya hesitates, then presses the glass into his hands. ]

Oh, you wanted to cancel our, ahem, date, tomorrow.

[ a smirk tugs at one corner of his mouth. ]

It wasn't the contents that worried me, so much as the fact that you were clearly drunk. That hardly happens often. I needed to see what all the fuss was about.

insomnia

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