when things break bad...

Bad End AU Meme

Sometimes you want a fix-it AU. You want everyone to live, to be happy, to find love, so on and so forth. You want the bad guy to lose early, for victory and triumph. Those are great things. Those are happy things. But sometimes terrible things happen to good people and you want to get catharsis through making some characters suffer. We understand. We really do. Sometimes no one wins. Sometimes the villain wins. Sometimes even if the heroes win everything is for naught. Sometimes, things just don't end happily.
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An ill dream to lose yourself in, if so. I think your mind could summon better.

[He half-smiles, a dry expression that does little to relieve the grimness of his features, and proffers one of the two cups of warmed wine he holds. It is not much, but he has found it reviving, in the past.]

It is no dream. And I will not say that you are safe; but that we will watch over you until you are well, that I can swear.

It is no ill dream if you are with me. [His smile is a fleeting thing as he moves to make room for Faramir to sit with him a time. The wine is welcome and he takes it in his hand with a wry grin.] If Beren could fight with one hand, then I shall do the same and fight with you. [They may live like the Outlaws of Barahir, but they would do so freely and they would do so together until the end.]

Not for some time yet, I fear. Even Beren did not arise at once.

[There is a warmth in his smile, though, and he clasps Bucky's shoulder, careful of his wounds. For all the grief of the situation, for all the darkness in which they must live now that the end has come, there is a glimmer of joy in a close comrade returned. There is a heartfelt gladness that, even now, they can be bold.]

But I do not doubt that when the time comes, you will fight as fiercely as ever you did. And with one hand or two, I shall be glad to know you are at my side.

[Pulling him from the prisons is not a significant victory, but if they are facing the end, each one should be celebrated. He leans into the touch, nodding.] When the time comes, I will fight again at your side. No matter what it is we face.

[Darkness or death, he has seen far worse in the prisons. He will face whatever comes with Faramir beside him. Exhaustion pulls at him and with the comfort of familiar friends close at hand, his eyes begin to drift closed.] Until the very end.

[There is a fondness and a sorrow in the Captain's smile, and he reaches out wordlessly to remove the cup from Bucky's hand, seeing the weariness wash over his friend.]

Until the end. [And after it, too; for the end, it seems to him, has already come. Now there is only survival, and finding what is left.]

[But Bucky is left, and that is something. Faramir does not remove his hand from the other man's shoulder, and though he will not say more, he does not move to go. Indeed, if Bucky wakes in the next few hours, he may find that Faramir has fallen asleep sitting up beside him, as the fire dies down to embers.]

[When he startles awake, Bucky will smile fondly at his sleeping Captain.

This is the end. In this he can be bold and trust their friends. So gently he shifts to lay down in their bedding of pine needles and coarse cloaks and eases Faramir down with him.

He may no longer have two arms, but he can keep one around Faramir as he sleeps, watching the flicker of light play across his features.

Protection and love can indeed go both ways.]

[Faramir's dreams are not peaceful. They never are, and have not been since long before the world changed. Darkness and ruin reign, and the cold knowledge of it ebbs into his mind, making him stir uneasily in his sleep, the pain of it flickering across his grim features.]

[But the dawn comes, even so, and with the first grey light, he opens his eyes, and finds Bucky watching him.]

[A smile, soft even in its weariness, passes across his face. His voice is low, barely carrying beyond the two of them.]

I feared that I had dreamed you, too.

How is the pain?

Then I hope it was a good dream. [His smile is a small, soft thing as he presses a kiss to his lips. They will find whatever small comforts possible now that the end has come.]

The pain is bearable now that I am free.

They will come searching for us. [There is no time for rest, no time for anything but movement. Hiding, harrying their enemies for as long as they can. Not an easy life, but they will fight on to the last of them.]

They have been searching for us since the city fell. [His voice is still clouded with sleep, but it is still the voice of the Captain of Ithilien, firm and reassuring.] They have not found us yet.

But you are right. We will keep moving; we will take no pause and give them no rest. As soon as you are ready to travel.

[Something in his regard softens at that, and he leans in, pressing his forehead to Bucky's, with a tenderness that is not altogether lordly.]

And do not tell me that you already are, for I will not believe it.

[Station no longer matters, now that this is the end and for a moment he is almost bitterly relieved for it. He can smile at the fond press and steal a fleeting kiss, his eyes sparkling in the dawn.]

Now what manner of solider would I be if I were to lie to my Captain? [Or to his love? Bucky strokes his fingers through his hair.]

Soon. I promise you.

[That kiss, and the softness that comes along with it, wakes a strange sensation in Faramir's chest; an unspooling of a tension he had hardly known was there. One kiss may be brotherly, may maintain the distance of lord and soldier. This is not that; this feels like the crossing of a line he had almost been unaware of drawing, where even in their closeness there has always been that gulf between them.]

[But the end has come, and station no longer matters, and there is a strange and painful joy in the realisation, even as the horrible truth of it strikes at his heart. Things cannot be the same, ever again. To feel even a shred of joy at it seems like a betrayal.]

[He swallows, and his hand comes up, tracing the angle of the other man's jaw. His voice is thick.] Soon.

But promise me nothing, until it is sure. For I know you are an honest man, and I will not have thee choose between foreswearing thy word and pushing beyond what healing will bear.

[Slipping, without thinking, from you to thee, from formal to an intimacy he has rarely found cause for. He does not think much more, either, before returning Bucky's kiss, lingering a moment.]

I will not lose thee twice over.

[If the end had not come, if Gondor remained true, he would have been content to love Faramir from a distance. But with the end, he can choose to be bold.

The slip into more familiar and loving language softens his expression.]

Never again. I will not be parted from thee.

And I will remain steadfast, I will stay true until the end.

[The smile draws tears to his eyes. He smiles, nonetheless.]

That, I have never doubted. [His fingertips trail against the shape of Bucky's jaw, gentle, wondering, as though by so doing he could fix it into eternity.] All other evils I might believe, but not that you would falter.

I would chase the shadows from your eyes if I could. [Bucky strokes a hand through his hair.] All I can offer is what you already have.

My loyalty and my love.

[Faramir leans into the touch, just a little, and heaves a deep breath. Emotion mingles in his chest, his throat tightening. There is a sharpness lingering below the surface of his feelings: the reminder, the certainty, that the shadows cannot be driven from his eyes, nor from the world.]

Already twice what I would ask of thee.

[He clears his throat, and something in him shifts, the sterner mien of the Captain returning.]

But come, there is work be done. Let me see your wounds, and what may be done for them.

[They are still men of action. They have a calling and a people who will not be forgotten even at the end. Bucky nods at the direction.]

I do not know what they were trying to do me beyond simple torment. They were trying to kindle something in my blood but I do not know why or to what end.

Athelas should keep the fever down.

And clean your blood, besides.

[His hand drifts, almost unthinking, to the aching scar beneath his ribs, where the dart struck home. A veil passes behind his eyes, a memory and a grief.]

...It is a more potent herb than I had ever known. Alas! that some of that power must be lost by the hands of he who uses it; for I am no King, and now he will not return again.

[The loss of their king is indeed a grievous one, even if they have not been spared the time to do so. Bucky touches him again, seeking to draw him from his dark thoughts.]

He is gone. We are not.
I may not have the skill of the elves, but I have learned much. It will be enough.

[It has to be.]

[And with him gone, what then? What hope do we fight for, when the White Tree will never again be in flower? Of all dark thoughts, it is the darkest, and the most frequent; it aches at his chest. The knowing is worse than the uncertainties of centuries past, for then, at least, a man could hold faith.]

[It is hard to know what to hold faith in, now.]

[He lets out a low, slightly unsteady breath, raising his eyes to Bucky's, his hand coming up to cover the other man's.]

It will be enough. [It is all that he can think to say, that echo of words already spoken: a promise and a wish.] For now, at least.

We have all learned much. It must be enough.

In your searching, did you find word of Steve? [The men would all know of Bucky's childhood friend, while too small for service, devoted himself to being a healer.

Bucky still remembers the terrible attack on the city, Steve's desperate plan and his sacrifice to keep his best friend safe.

I can get to the tree! I can save a part, Buck.

Then go. Run. I'll draw them away.

He never saw him again.] It is important.

[Steve may have saved their hope. If anyone could, it'd be him.]

Edited 2022-10-09 14:35 (UTC)

[The grief that passes anew across the Captain's face may be answer enough. He shakes his head.]

No word. Neither good nor ill.

[And he wants to believe that this is hopeful, that the silence is better than the answer; but he remembers, all too well, those long months of silence in Boromir's absence. That had not carried any great hope.]

But if you did not see him fall, then I will see that we watch for him, as closely as we may.

That is all I ask. [Steve may be small, but he's a ball of rage and spite when needed. Bucky does not despair at the lack of news. His friend will make himself known when he needs to.

Maybe then he will offer hope to the weary and despairing company.]

If anyone can provide hope, I trust it to him.

[Bucky squeezes his hand.] Come. We need food before we move on. [Even with his injuries, they cannot remain still for long.]

[Faramir nods, exhaling slowly. He wants, very deeply, to offer comfort and support: but what comfort is there? What value is there, in retreading grief without end, when grief is all that any of them have?]

[So he squeezes Bucky's hand in turn, and stands, reaching for his bow where it leans against the wall.]

We need food, and you need medicine. Eat, then; and I will go and find what I can for healing, and we shall break camp this afternoon.

[Bucky gives a nod and makes no sound of protest when Faramir stands to join the hunt. While he would prefer the comfort of his presence, he knows better than to ask. They both have a duty, even long after their city has fallen.] I will inventory what I can.

[There are herbs that can help provide strength and sustenance even in such dark times.

They have survived so far. They will continue to do so.]

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when things break bad...

Bad End AU Meme

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sorry for disappearing

No worries, it happens

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oops this fell out of my inbox somehow T-T

Happens to all of us, no sweat ;)