And at this point I’m afraid to ask

[enya]

the personal questions meme Because nothing's off-limits! how to play - comment with your character. - in roll the...personal questions. you knew what was coming. you read the title. - tell the truth. lie. deflect. get mad, sad, glad, or creeped out. get personal. - be nosy to others!

Comments

[theotherobin]

Then maybe he should chill with the whole trying to talk the whole talk when he hasn't lived in the thick of it for long enough.

But whatever man, I'm not here to give you shit.

Is he yours and Dean's? Serious question, no ass babies.

[messenger]

[ cas just shrugs. kids, what can u do???? ]

No, he isn't. He's Lucifer's child, but he chose me— He'll choose me.

And then I'll die immediately after he's born, and Dean will get left with the responsibility of looking after him. Except Dean will blame him for my death. Jack will bring me back, but— I'm sure you can see where this is going. The last three years of my life weren't happy ones.

[theotherobin]

...Does he know about all that shit?

[messenger]

Yes. Actually, overhearing Dean blame him for my death is what led to him praying to me. It's just that he's... such a powerful being, he reached me in the Empty— It's where angels go when they die. I was able to make the rest of the way back on my own. After that, things were a little better for a while, but... It never lasts long, with us.

[theotherobin]

Dude, what the fuck.

And I mean that in the most loving and supportive way possible. What the actual fuck.

[messenger]

[ that's the only real response. ]

That's really not the worst part— Later, I'll make a deal with the Empty to bring Jack back to life. In exchange for allowing him to go free, I'll agree for the Empty to come and take me when I finally allow myself to feel happiness.

[theotherobin]

Why? Why would you fucking do that, Cas?

[messenger]

Because I'll love him, and I'll make a promise to take care of him. Although my reasoning for not telling Sam and Dean is much less selfless— I just didn't want them to trouble themselves over me. Even though I knew how much they'd be hurt if something happened.

Ultimately, I do use it in our favor. When Dean and I are being chased by Death— the Death— I'll summon the Empty and it'll take us both, and Dean will be saved.

[theotherobin]

You know, that's absolute bullshit.

It doesn't have to happen that way though, right? I mean it's all the fucking future and if you have the goddamn privilege to know it ahead of time it doesn't have to go down that way.

[messenger]

... I know. I'm sure Dean would say the same thing.

But the timeline I come from is already completely different. I'm not certain anything will be the same— In that version of events, Amara brought back Dean's mother as a... gift, to allow him to get to know her. In our version of events, instead, Amara... took care of a few things that were in the way of our... relationship.

Which included sealing Lucifer away again. I may never meet Jack.

[theotherobin]

This whole destiny/fate thing, it's bullshit, Cas. If we somehow get to know what really might happen in the future, then we're lucky enough to be able to change it. We can work around it.

Apparently I end up some kinda psycho murderer in the future. Did you know that?

[messenger]

What? How? That can't be right. You aren't that kind of person.

[theotherobin]

Who knows, man. Maybe someone pissed in my cornflakes.