there are upsides

[jagan]

pros and cons of dating your character

a humor/shipping meme



The premise is simple.

[1] Your character has a sign listing out all the pros and cons of dating them. Maybe they wrote it themselves, maybe they didn't.
[2] This list is displayed for everyone else to see.
[3] That's it.

Do not post any blank top levels. Comment with your character's list, then have fun reacting to other people's pros and cons.

Comments

Rhea'li Akhbala | FFXIV

[lightduties]

[He's not sure how he ended up in this situation -- something about losing a bet -- but here he is holding up a sign:

Pros:
- will carry your shopping
- will do your errands
- always down to clown

Cons:
- FIFO worker

He definitely didn't write this sign. With a wry smile to any who approach, he says--]

I'm afraid I've not the faintest idea what FIFO worker means.

[emet_sulk]

'First in, first out'. Unless the vernacular has changed in the past several hundred years.

[ Which it could have. Emet-Selch doesn't exactly keep abreast of the latest developments in Eorzean linguistics. ]

endva orlov | original | ota

[endva]

✔

𝐚. very loyal, will literally die for you
𝐛. good at baking, can bake you most anything and will personally go out of her way to learn your favorite sweets so she can make them
𝐜. money is not an issue with her, can and will splurge on you when she can. don't let her know you want something, you WILL end up with it by morning.

✘

𝐚. will literally die for you. death means nothing to her, she'll be back within 3 to 4 business days.
𝐛. gets killed often, hides this from you by ghosting you for a few days.
𝐜. very repressed and physically cannot open up about her wants and needs out of fear of acting like her mother.

[explosiongenius]

What do you mean literally die for me?! Like hell I'm cool with letting you die!

Kotone Shiomi (FeMC) | Persona 3 Portable | OTA

[brokenuniverse]

Pros:
- playful
- affectionate
- wants to hear about your interests and will try them out herself
- will fight anyone who badmouths you

Cons:
- pushy
- will eat your food
- dives headfirst into trouble
- is destined to die very soon

[nagano]

What's with everyone and death? Dying on the regular, predestined passing...

[ He really has no right to complain considering how death is involved in his life, but... ]

Well, whatever. Eating my food isn't a con. I'm a chef, so feeding people—even gremlins who steal off my plate—makes me happy.

Derek Hale | Teen Wolf

[lurkerwolf]

Pros:
Handsome
Strong
Protective

Cons:
Grumpy
Temperamental
Werewolf
Emotionally distant
Hard to get ahold off
Hangs around teenagers
Almost dies a lot
No family left
Will most likely get you killed
Your kid will be a werewolf
Violent (occasionally)
Smiles very rarely

((Seriously... why would you?))

kate schmidt | fear street

[rejectpile]

𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒔

the best thing since sliced bread, literally

cheerleader

top of her class

will sacrifice herself for her friends

loyal to those she cares about

has the best "candy shop" in shadyside

𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔

drug dealer

makes the kids she babysits sort her drugs

kind of a bitch

from shadyside

dead

[munstar]

I dunno. I'm not seeing any cons here.

kaito nagano | original | m/f

[nagano]

PROS

- Homemade meals 95% of the year for life
- Is about three steps away from being a water elemental, so your water bill's going down too
- Will absolutely take you out on bike rides throughout the countryside, very tourism, much scenic
- If a ghost is bothering you he can get it to quietly leave
- When you're feeling down he can tell and he will try his best to make things better

CONS

- Stage 5 Workaholic Syndrome, which is a completely arbitrary and made-up disorder but y'know he only takes Thursdays off and even then tends to do extra work on his off day
- Has one (1) very jealous not-girlfriend who is also the (Japanese) queen of the underworld and really wants him to come back so he's constantly being attacked by supernatural entities
- If a ghost is bothering you and he cannot get it to quietly leave he will punch it, with feeling
- He can read your emotions. He can read everyone's emotions. He cannot turn this off and it hurts
- The beautiful juxtaposition of being touch-averse due to his powers with being touch-starved due to a lack of skinship

???

- High endurance. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[crimsonflower]

I wonder, would you forcibly remove a ghost that's being a bother but the person didn't want it gone?

Kaa | Disney's Jungle Book

[trust_in_me]

Pros!

Very cuddly
Knows a lot about the jungle
Has eyes that are easy to get lost in
Friendly
Sings
Very skillful with his body
You never have to buy him dinner!

Cons!

Often strangles people
Not very knowledgeable about societal norms
Will hypnotize you to get his way
Manipulative
Is a creepy pervert
Rarely takes no for an answer
You are on the dinner menu.

[dragon_blossom]

[ Looks up. Looks down.

It's a big singing snake? Ever since meeting Ascot and hanging out with his monster friends, she can handle snakes and spiders and stuff a lot better, but she's pretty sure he wants to eat her like, right now. ]

Wow, I wonder what that last pro means.

Guinevere ‘Guin’ Davies | OC | OTA

[aimlesswonder]

PROS:
Will never be boring
Up for just about anything
Secretly likes taking care of people
Willing to literally fight for those she loves
Can build her own flamethrower

CONS:
Outspoken and sometimes argumentative
Travels regularly away from home
Can be impatient when she has a mission
Has some unresolved feelings for her ex-husband
Still hasn’t unpacked her apartment

SCP-662-1 ("Mr. Deeds") | SCP Foundation

[bellboundbutler]

+ You'll never have to do chores again
+ In fact you'll never want for most material objects
+ Emotionally supportive, a total sweetheart
+ Gives good hugs/kisses/physical affection in general
+ Skilled

+/- Short (but strong)
+/- Old-fashioned
+/- The subbiest sub to ever sub
+/- Will die for you without complaint, multiple times if necessary
+/- All give and no take, literally lives to serve
+/- The mustache tickles

- Loyalty depends on your possession of his bell
- Might not be able to give meaningful consent?

[He definitely didn't write this. Please be gentle when telling him what "sub" means.]

((M/F for shipping, OTA otherwise.))

[scp073]

I suppose one could have a worse.. personal ad.. but who on earth is trying to lend you out like this?

Fajra Gauthier-Amoureux | Fantasy OC | OTA

[attempted_purity]

Pros:
+An heiress to a landed noble
+Very well-educated on a variety of topics
+Enjoys travel
+A good dancer
+Strong enough to sweep you off your feet
+Can cast various types of magic
+Kind and considerate
+A very affectionate partner
+Is both an elf and a succubus

Cons:
-Due to her succubus heritage, doesn't have much verbal filter when it comes to romance/sex
-Has a high libido, to the point that her partner either needs to have matching stamina or be comfortable with an open relationship.
-Is embarrassed by the above two points
-Sometimes a busybody
-Can be a workaholic
-Will outlive anyone with a human lifespan
-Being an heiress means you'd eventually get wrapped up in politics too

[nagano]

[ He's looking at one line in particular. ]

I don't really have room to talk, but it's important to know when to take breaks and see your family. My brother makes it a point to blow my phone up if I go two weeks without calling or visiting, and he's almost out of college now.

[ Then, quieter: ]

—What kind of magic do you practice?

Nathaniel Demerest | Wishmaster | OTA

[indjinnius]

[The sign behind the djinn reads,
PROS
-Extremely patient
-Good humored
-Well traveled
-Very keen to help everyone, even strangers, achieve their desires

CONS
-Patience conceals a burning hatred for 99% of humanity
-Humor is often at someone else's expense
-Would like to become Earth's permanent ruler
-Persnickety about semantics]

It could be worse. [The sign? Dating him? The general state of the world? Unclear.]

[tungwag]

Huh. Tzimisce?

[Tung's own sign reads:

PROS
-Calm, patient, and amiable
-Older (if you're into that) and experienced
-Forgiving of mistakes and bad ideas
-Likes to think fairly, not kneejerk, not take too many shortcuts
-Happy to give advice
-A careful person
-Very "something for something" with assistance
-Incredibly talented with computers and sneaking

CONS
-Has to drink blood to survive
-Can't take you out to nice restaurants or anything
-Private; keeps things close to his chest
-Sneaky and a little manipulative
-Has some strong loyalties and bonds already
-Can take a long time to form a solid opinion
-Might get you caught up in a complicated secret world if you're not already in it
-So many political situations, unfortunately

...And he might not have written it, but you know what? Fair enough.]

The Swede | Our Flag Means Death | OTA

[ourlittlenordicangel]

Pros
-Just a complete sweetheart
-Natural blonde

Pros
-Is a pirate
-IQ of a turnip
-Scurvy and missing teeth
-Shy :(

Claire Bennet || NBC's Heroes || OTA

[infinite1ups]

Pros of Dating Claire Bennet:
- the best little spoon
- would take a bullet for you without hesitation
- excellent at baking

Cons of Dating Claire Bennet:
- hard to keep her tied down
- danger tends to follow her around
- will probably steal borrow your hoodies

[ She could have written these, but she probably would've left out the part about the hoodies. ]

Ari Tayrey | original character (SF) | OTA

[astrogator]

[She did not write this. If she ever finds the person who wrote this, there will be trouble.]

Pros:
- Enhanced genetics: very healthy, very clever. Likes learning and intellectual discussion.
- Excellent at flying, she will show you the galaxy or speed-test aircars with you.
- Hardworking, responsible, and fiercely protective of the people she cares about.
- A good singer, if you can put up with all the usual spacer songs.
- Nights out with her will always be lively.
- She'll draw you pretty star charts and tell you why they remind her of you.

Cons:
- Total ambitious careerist who always puts work first - worse still, it's her duty.
- She won't ever commit to you unless you're a spacer.
- And even then she doesn't believe in marriage, just fixed-term partnership contracts.
- Not very romantic: prefers drinks nights and simulator games to walks on the beach.
- Previous experience is all very casual: her longest relationship lasted six days.
- Can't cook. Very tidy, but she may want to secure everything in case of 'gravity malfunction' even if you're on a planet.

sandalphon | granblue fantasy

[lumenar]

[he 100% did not write this.]

PROS:
Makes the best coffee you have ever tasted.
Very strong, he'll protect you at all costs.
Very strong... legs.

CONS:
Very grumpy.
Kind of old immortal.
Still in love with someone else.
Really, REALLY grumpy.
Ex-convict Doing community service.
Don't customize your coffee yourself or he'll get mad.


[ ooc: m/m only for shippy things if it gets to that, ota for gen. ]

Samantha Murphy | OC | M/F

[andgracetoo]

Pros:
- will be the girlfriend to tell the server that you did, in fact, ask for a side of ranch
- very easy to please the bar is actually so low
- you'll always have a workout buddy

Cons:
- might kick more ass than you, if you're insecure about that kinda thing
- lots of emotional baggage and trauma that she's working though
- she can be a little ~unstable~ at times

Gorgon | Fate/ | OTA

[gorgantic]

[Written on a large sign hanging from her neck. Definitely done by her sisters (and maybe her master), as no one else would have survived the attempt]

PROS:
> Will not be only the big spoon, but will be the biggest of all spoons.
> Will consume your enemies and raze their nations. Or at least scare away bullies.
> Can reach the highest of high shelves. Nothing will be out of your hands ever again, shorty.
> Actually a doormat if you are nice to her. Ignore her threats to believe otherwise.
> b o o b a.

CONS:
> Horrifying snake monster! Scales, tails, claws, wings! Snakes don't have wings, but don't think about it too hard.
> Can turn you to stone, but that was more of a thing she did in her youth. Now more likely to go crazy and eat you.
> Fantasizes about destroying all of humanity. She swears she will get around to it.
> Hair will probably bite you, being made of snakes. Remember, horrifying snake monster.
> Has an appetite that can bankrupt small nations, so good luck with doing groceries.
> Perhaps...too big???

[dragon_blossom]

Hm. Well, you clearly would benefit from someone who comes from wealth to fit your food budget and, er, living space requirements, right?

[ This is all hypothetical, coming from the scrawny teenager who just has a rich girl allowance, granted. ]

Umi Ryuuzaki | Magic Knight Rayearth

[dragon_blossom]

PRO
- Comes from a very wealthy family
- Incredibly passionate about what she's interested in
- Can bake beautiful pastries
- Will sword fight your enemies if necessary
- Perfect hair
- Flexible ;)

CON
- Expressive to the point of just being noisy
- High maintenance
- She really really wants to get her way
- Like watch out

[endva]

Do you have a favorite pastry that you enjoy making, no matter how many times you make it?

thoma | genshin impact | ota

[kenin]

[he definitely did NOT make this list himself.]

PROS:
- Excellent at housekeeping.
- Well-traveled.
- Can cook all your faves.
- Will literally give the coat off his back if it's raining.
- Friendly, has a lot of connections.
- Very good at servicing of all sorts.
- Magic shields to protect.

CONS:
- The Kamisato clan > everything else.
- His lord is a troll.
- Can't hold his alcohol.
- Seriously, no one will ever be a priority unless they're part of the Kamisato clan.

Queen Marika/Radagon | Elden Ring | OTA

[bi_gender]

+ Literally God
+ Either one of them is hot
+ Marriage carries certain lordship benefits, regardless of suitability or bloodline
+ Great for lovers of blondes OR redheads!
+ Phenomenal cosmic powers, no itty bitty living spaces
+ Radagon cooks, cleans, and sews; the perfect little malewife
+ Marika is a girlboss for those that like to get stepped on
+ Has married men and women in the past, so gender and sex are no issue!

+/- Is a man, a woman, and a giant cosmic plesiosaur in one body
+/- Already has a number of children and exes

- None of the things inside the body get along and you'll probably get dragged into their games against each other
- Radagon is a religious fundamentalist
- Marika is a racist bucking her own racist institutions, but still kinda in a racist way
- Their kids will probably try to kill them and you at some point if you don't kill the kids first
- You can't separate Radagon and Marika, and you probably won't ever be able to control who is in charge at any given time.
- Radagon and Marika are (un)happily married. To each other. This will not stop Marika. Radagon may grumble.
- Also they're the vessel of an outer god that has little to no care for you, your plans, your people, or your world, and will only try to use them to meet its own ends
+/- of that: Marika hates the outer god and will probably do anything she can to disobey it. Radagon will go along with it.
- All the mess of your typical polytheistic religion pantheon's interpersonal relationships to dive into

Lorne Pruitt || Original Character || OTA

[unfriendly_fire]

[The original sign has been crossed out, but if you look closely enough, you can see make out what was originally there. Lorne has marked out most of the list with what appears to be eyeliner used as a makeshift writing tool, and wrote in a couple of his own notes.]

Pros:
- Attractive
- Good in bed
- Ambitious
- Potential to be loyal and caring, for those who have earned it
Charming and charismatic

Cons:
- Arrogant
- Very difficult to break down his walls
- Will probably keep flirting with other people
- High maintenance
- Attention whore
There are no cons. I am flawless.

[springgirl]

[Cora's eyebrows raise in faint amusement, able to make out enough of what was crossed out and replaced.]

Flawless, huh? As much as I'd like to believe that for anyone-- and as gorgeous as you are, stranger. I very much doubt that.

Becca MacDonald ~ OC ~ OTA

[cafeultra]

Pros:
- free coffee always
- never-ending stream of weird facts
- incredible sex

Cons:
- emotionally and romantically distant
- can be pretty insecure at times
- maybe too kinky for some

Maedhros | the silmarillion | ota

[holdshisown]

Pros
+ Tall
+ Royalty
+ Kind
+ Very attractive

Cons
- Might be too tall
- Comes with the worst father-in-law imaginable
- Insanely large and chaotic family
- Kinslayer

sorry, i had to

[taveren]

The last one sneaked in at the very end, huh.

alexis rose 🌹 schitt's creek 🌹 ota

[cutehugeyacht]

PRO
- always upbeat and cheery
- EXCELLENT fashion sense
- "Up for anything" as described g US Weekly
- cute and adorable with great skin
- hardworking boss babe that can handle herself

CONS
- a little more on the prissy side
- terrible not the greatest singer or dancer
- has a long and storied dating history with celebs, Saudi princes and drug lords
- forgets to make the bed sometimes
- has a hard time telling difficult truths (because she doesn't want to hurt anyone!)

Warrior of Light | FFI/Dissidia/SoP

[lucedium]

Pros:
+ a literal knight in shining armor
+ can and will fulfill your fantasies if you tell him about it
+ dutiful, loyal, amicable, and protective
+ has major dad and/or older-bother vibes.
+ will protecc and attacc

Cons:
- woefully one track minded
- unavailable for long-term commitment because of said one-track mind
- forgetful, to the point of forgetting his own name
- waaayy too serious for his own good, you will not be able to get him to chill

[ He definitely didn't write this himself... ]