It May Be Fun, But It Sure is Awkward Meme

[pinkflower]

Sex is weird. You do what with that? And it goes where? Oh god, right there, right - ohgodnonotthere! Did you just - no, no, it's fine. Whatever. I'm tired anyway. You want to have sex WHERE?!

How It Works:
* Post.
* Pick or roll for your specifics. You don't have to roll for every category if you don't want; either pick the categories you want, or roll for the category and go from there.
* Enjoy the lols.
I. LOCATION!
1. The Beach!
Sounds great, right? There was that whole romantic thing in the movies and DEAR FUCKING GOD THERE'S SOMETHING CRAWLING ON ME GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!!

2. The Pool/Ocean/Shower!
This is a great idea, right? Absolutely nothing could go wrong! Wait, what do you mean water washes away lubrication? God, I hope we don't drown/fall and crack our skulls open.

1. On Random Furniture!
Um. Um. Honey? I think it's great that you have that whole 'I absolutely need you right now' thing going, but I am not having sex on my grandfather's hand-carved table.

4. The Bathrooms!
Oh. Oh god. What is that smell? I think I'm going to throw up.

5. The Car!
Honey, you remembered to put the parking break on, right? Move over, I have a seat belt buckle in my back.

6. The Movie Theater!
Gdi, that guy's doing a walkthrough again. What the hell does he think we're doing in here- oh.

7. The Great Outdoors!
I'm sorry, I didn't invite that squirrel to this party. Oh man, I'm getting bug bites places I didn't even know I had.

8. In An Airplane!
Augh augh augh we're going to crash and die! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? Oh man, I think I'm stuck. DAMN THESE TINY BATHROOMS.

9. WHERE AM I?!
DIY space! Pick another number or make up your own!


II. OOPS?

1. Injury!
Darling? Sweetie? Honey? I swear I didn't mean to slam you into the wall like that. Talk to me?

2. Timing!
....Uh. Look, if you give me a little while, I'm sure I can get it up again - can I give you a massage or something in the meantime?

3. Interruption!
OH MY GOD WHO THE HELL IS CALLING WHEN I AM FINALLY GETTING SOME - hi, Mom!

4. Awkward Bodily Functions!
...That totally wasn't what it sounded like. Honest!

5. Calling Out the Wrong Name!
Yeah, you're screwed. Just leave now while you still have your limbs.

6. Failed Experimentation!
Hey, honey? Honey? This really isn't working for me. I'm really sorry.

7. Just Plain Fail!
Where did I put the keys to those handcuffs?

8. Oh Shit!
DIY space! I have no idea what just happened, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't good. Pick another number or make up your own!


III. OBSTACLES!

1. Stress!
It's not you, honey, it's just that I've got a lot on my mind. Maybe we could try this a different way?

2. Preparation, Preparation, Preparation!
Fuck, where did the condoms go? Have you seen the lube? I swear they were around here somewhere!

3. Inexperience!
Do you like it like this? How about like this? Okay, what if I do - okay, no, not that. How about -

4. Location!
Your cousin just HAD to show up and need a place to crash today. IF WE DO NOT FIND SOMEWHERE RIGHT NOW I AM GOING TO EXPLODE!

5. Mood-Killer!
I just feel like that picture of your mom is staring at me. :|

6. Surprise!
Hey. You didn't have that cut before. No, I want you to tell me what happened! Did you always have that birthmark? Holy shit! Where did you get THAT scar?

7. How The Hell Do I Say This?!
Hey, honey, you know that thing you do that you think is really sexy and stuff? ...Could you not do it this time?

8. Aww, I'm Sorry, Baby!
DIY space! Pick another number or make up your own!

Comments

taiwan ✿ hetalia

[pinkflower]

II.03

[fromseatoshiningsea]

[Taiwan might be one of the cutest nations in the world. America can't believe his luck! Of course, he's gonna treat her right. He's the hero after all, and a hero is always a gentleman with the ladies!

So there he is, shirtless, leaning over her on the bed (givin' her the romancing of her life, he's sure) -

And the goddamn phone rings.]

Ehh... Let it go to voicemail. If it's important they'll leave a message, right?

Castiel | SPN | OTA

[bbinatrenchcoat]

Rapunzel | Tangled | Open to All

[daydreaming]

[ilostmyshoes]

[ sam had rapunzel handcuffed, but then he realized ]

Do you remember where we put the keys?

Ariel | The Little Mermaid | Open to All

[seacups]

Chi-Chi | Dragon Ball | Open to All

[princessbride]

Botan | Yu Yu Hakusho | Open to All

[ferries]

Kuno Kodachi ♥ Ranma 1/2 ♥ F/M

[cherrybombpie]

[Bring on all the lulz!]

3-4

[hired_pistol]

[Oh christ what. Being a rich girl's plaything for the weekend isn't something that Shin dislikes. Hey it's a living, and a fun one at that, especially with someone as hot as Kodachi.

But now...

'GO HOME, KUNO!' he thinks.]

Roxy Lalonde ○ Homestuck

[unavoidabubbly]

[konnichiwa]

[ following Roxy into the bathroom ]

Ah... in here? So indecent...

France || Axis Powers Hetalia

[france]

II.02 - in more ways than one?

[fromseatoshiningsea]

[So he's definitely pretending he doesn't have a big embarrassing boner during this car ride through Paris after a meeting. Look, he's a young guy, okay? Sometimes these things just happen, especially when you check your email on your phone when you're not supposed to in the middle of the meeting and there's B1G BR3@STED C0-EDS JUST WAITING FOR Y0U and you know it's spam so you delete it but the thought is just enough to get your ADD running and -

So yeah. Pretending it's not there.]

Stella ☆ Black Rock Shooter (AU) ☆ ota

[starsfell]

[ I regret nothing ]

Jade Harley | Homestuck | OTA

[breedingduties]

Madotsuki | Yume Nikki | Puella Magi Madoka Magica AU | ota & aged up I guess?

[dreamingmagica]

/wings it... for the record i am not sorry

[basedmadoka]

[ it's really hard to focus on undressing when you have a certain white cat-alien staring at you. not blinking. ever. ]

Glen 'Levi' Baskerville | Pandora Hearts | ota

[pretimeskip]

Want to roll~? If not I will~

[lacedsilence]

Giovanni Rammsteiner - Dogs - OTA

[pinstriping]

The Master | Doctor Who

[taptap_taptap]

Britta Perry | Community

[britta_ftw]

Quinn Fabray ♔ Glee

[ambitious]

Kyon || The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya || M/F

[monologues]

[ with his luck half of these things would happen at once ]

YOU ASKED FOR IT. ii1+ii5+iii5

[fairypowder]

-And another thing! You're expected to call me master, not whoever this other girl is! And don't just grab my arm like that, stupid, that hurts! Fairies aren't immune to pain!

[She's sitting on the bed, arms crossed and with a very deep frown on her face, and for once she looks truly upset. She can be a nice master at times, maybe even forgiving, but the stunt he had just pulled deserves no mercy. Foreplay can wait, it's lecturing time.]

aradia megido - homestuck - aged up - ota

[arisen]

III - 3

[humili8]

[ For all her talk of kisemsises (kismesii?) and being hot shit, Vriska actually has very little experience with hot, nasty hatesex. Gotta give the girl points for trying, at least, because there sure is a lot flailing limbs and blood splattering going on, which strike her as key hatesex elements. But she's also pretty sure there is supposed to be some sort of enjoyment here too. ]

God damn it Megido.

[ She hisses in frustration, clearly this is Aradia's fault!!!!!!!! ]

terezi pyrope - homestuck - aged up - ota

[foretaste]

[fyi it's terezi so everything is autoterrible]

everything is horrible all the options

[miraculls]

[this kismesis sex might actually be kind of hot if they weren't being watched very carefully by the drones and also if it wasn't Gamzee and Terezi]

Sis, they keep staring at my bulge. Why do they keep staring at it.

Charlie McGee || Firestarter || OTA

[charring]

I6, II7

[socoolbrewster]

[...This would probably be easier if they weren't in the movie seats, but hey. When the mood strikes, and Ed's trying to make the best of it, even if the angle's all awkward and room's limited.

Fortunately, the moving armrest helps some of that.]

The Eleventh Doctor | Doctor Who | OTA

[godcomplexed]

 

everything is awkward

[echidna]

[ Jade is smiling, albeit shyly, trying to get comfortable and posture that she has some idea that she knows vaguely what she is doing.

In reality, no, she has no idea. Halp. ]

So, uh...

Fenris | Dragon Age 2

[tevintersdreadwolf]

OOC

[ryu_bateson]

Up to trying again? :)

Ethan Mars | Heavy Rain

[letssonruninfrontofcars]

Abbie 'AJ' Jansen // OC // OTA

[thislastrequest]