Blame it on the Goose Got you feeling loose... Blame it on the alcohol

[funvee]

The Walk Into A Bar Meme!

The bar's a comfortable place, where everyone knows you just have to walk up, give the bartender a smile, and order up a drink. Everyone goes to a bar sometime, whether to pick up a companion for the night, to pick up a friend, or pick up a drink. You never know the story behind the guy sitting next to you, or the bartender. But that's what bars are for, aren't they? To learn about the guy on the stool next to you, drinking his gin and tonic.

So what do you do in a Walk Into A Bar meme?

1. Comment here with your character and their canon in the subject line.
2. Hit RNG for a number between 1-15.
3. Tag someone else using that number as your character's reason for coming to the bar.
4. Profit!

So, what's your poison?

1. Sex on the Beach - You're here at the bar for one reason and one reason only, to find some company for the night. It might help, to buy them a drink first. But then they might throw that back in your face...

2. Tonic and Gin - Life's been one disaster after another lately, and the only thing that makes it easier is the sweet numbing taste of alcohol...

3. Midori Sour - Your friends dragged you out here and they've suddenly abandoned you for some rock star in the VIP lounge. Are you bitter? Maybe. Or maybe you'll just use the opportunity to flirt with the cute bartender...

4. Shirley Temple - You got a call five minutes ago asking you to come to the bar to pick up your too-intoxicated friend/brother/sister. But now that you're here, they don't seem to be anywhere to be found...

5. Poolside Pleasure - There's nothing like being on vacation in a tropical paradise, is there? And what better way to soak in that tropical vibe than to swim up to the Tiki Bar for a relaxing fruity drink with a paper umbrella?

6. Moonshine - Maybe you're underaged. Or maybe the bar isn't exactly what you'd call legal. Whatever the reason, you're not supposed to be here, but you are, and while you're here, might as well get something to wet your whistle, right? Just be careful not to get caught...

7. Hair of the Dog - Last night was... do you even remember last night? Probably not, given the wicked hangover pounding in your head right now. Well, nothing cure a hangover like having a drink in the morning to take the edge off, right?

8. Champagne - Something great has happened! Did you get a promotion? Kill your nemesis? Whatever it is, you feel great and it's time everyone celebrated with you. A round of champagne on the house!

9. Shaken, not Stirred - To everyone else, this is a regular bar, but not to you. You know you're here to meet a clandestine contact, an enemy informer or a secret spy. Better play it cool and keep your eyes open...

10. Sunken Pirate Ship - You've been out on the high seas for months, and finally made it into port with your pockets full of gold. What're you going to do first? Drink that gold away or buy some company for the evening? You can do both at the bar...

11. Punch in the Rain - You're the bouncer of this bar and you think the guy sitting next to you has probably had too much to drink. Maybe it's time to cut them off. Hopefully they'll go easy, huh?

12. Bartender - Everyone who walks through the door has a story to tell, and you're the guy they love to tell those stories to. Are you the type to listen, or the type to slip a little something extra into their drink in hopes that they shut up about their sob story?

13. Absinthe - Whatever it is you just drank didn't seem to agree with you. And at the corner of your eye you keep seeing this bright green faerie... Is everything happening around you reality, or have you slipped into some kind of hallucination?

14. 357 Magnum - Did you just insult my mother? Whether or not they did, you sure think so, and you know what's the best way to settle things in a bar? With a bar brawl, of course!

15. Happy Hour - Anything goes! Got another scenario you want to play out, this is the place for it!

Comments

[aviophobia]

The hell are you laughing at? Of course it's extraterrestrial travel; no one put me up to anything.

[fdr]

See, you keep saying that like I'm just going to nod and not... The space program got cut. Maybe it woulda worked before but, really?

[aviophobia]

Yeah, the space program was cut in - god, the early twenty-first century. That was over two hundred years ago.

[fdr]

Over...

[He shook his head.]

What are you drinking? Did you leave your glass unattended? What did you take and do you need a docto... well, that sounds like a joke but seriously, do you need a doctor?

[aviophobia]

I'm drinking bourbon -

[see, and he is taking a healthy swig of it, because he requires more booze for this situation]

- and I don't get why you think the date is the weirdest thing about right now.

[fdr]

I didn't mean literally.

[But it did make him laugh.]

Oh I'm sorry, let me be offended you think my name is Jim? Oh wait, that you think you fly around in space? Does it involve a little blue box like in that program Tuck watches?

[aviophobia]

I don't think I fly around in space - and what the fuck do blue boxes have to do with anything? Who would do that?

[fdr]

Right. No worries. [He held up his hands, placating him.] Sure. You fly around and not in a blue box.

In what exactly?

[aviophobia]

If you haven't heard of Starfleet then you sure as shit haven't heard of the Enterprise, which means you have been hiding your head under some pretty damned big rocks.

[fdr]

Isn't that with Carnival cruise lines? As for me and rocks, I'm not the one going on like a mad man.

Wait. Am I being punk'd?

[aviophobia]

Are you being what?

[fdr]

Right. Okay then. The military issues identification. [He held out his hand.] Let's see it. Or you a private contractor?

[aviophobia]

Here.

[He hands it over. It clearly states that he is MCCOY, DR. LEONARD H., assigned to the USS ENTERPRISE, rank of LIEUTENANT COMMANDER, and specifically in the SCIENCES division, and has the Starfleet insignia in the corner.]

Believe me now?

[fdr]

[FDR stared at the card for a long time. His mouth opened and then closed, glancing at the picture and up at McCoy and then back down. Finally he handed it back.]

I don't know.

[Which was said as he got his wallet out of the inside pocket of his jacket and handed over his own card. His name though nothing else was real, except one thing.]

Check the dates. Expiration? Twenty thirteen.

[aviophobia]

What the fuck?

[He compares his ID to FDR's, and his very clearly says that it expires October 24, 2261.]

Twenty-two sixty-one. But how is this - is this some kind of time travel nonsense? Again?

[fdr]

See, again you almost had me right until again. Sure it isn't about a blue phone? [Why did this happen to him and not Tuck who would squee to go around with the Doctor. A doctor. Same thing, right?]

[aviophobia]

What the hell is with you and phones? There are no phones! Unless you mean my communicator, which you probably don't, and I am going to rip Jim's throat out later.

[fdr]

There's this show my friend watches about a doctor and a blue phone box and time travel and that is why I'm so going to slap him upside the head. This has to be him.

[aviophobia]

That sounds like a dumb show, and I promise you, I'm gonna be the one doing the smacking once I find Jim.

[fdr]

Seemed to be pretty dumb, yeah.

Wait, why are you smacking him again? For looking like me?

[aviophobia]

Yeah, and because I know he set this up. Somehow.

[fdr]

Impossible. I would know. Hell, I would set it up and... Jim has to meet my friend Tuck. He has to!

[aviophobia]

That is the worst goddamned idea I have ever heard. The universe would probably explode if they ever met.

[fdr]

[He gestured between the two of them.]

We met and the universe seems good. Now, if me and this Jim met? Betting the universe couldn't handle it.

So it must happen.

[aviophobia]

World couldn't contain all the ego.