bakerstreet | Blame it on the Goose Got you feeling loose... Blame it on the alcohol

Blame it on the Goose Got you feeling loose... Blame it on the alcohol

The Walk Into A Bar Meme!

The bar's a comfortable place, where everyone knows you just have to walk up, give the bartender a smile, and order up a drink. Everyone goes to a bar sometime, whether to pick up a companion for the night, to pick up a friend, or pick up a drink. You never know the story behind the guy sitting next to you, or the bartender. But that's what bars are for, aren't they? To learn about the guy on the stool next to you, drinking his gin and tonic.

So what do you do in a Walk Into A Bar meme?

1. Comment here with your character and their canon in the subject line.
2. Hit RNG for a number between 1-15.
3. Tag someone else using that number as your character's reason for coming to the bar.
4. Profit!

So, what's your poison?

1. Sex on the Beach - You're here at the bar for one reason and one reason only, to find some company for the night. It might help, to buy them a drink first. But then they might throw that back in your face...

2. Tonic and Gin - Life's been one disaster after another lately, and the only thing that makes it easier is the sweet numbing taste of alcohol...

3. Midori Sour - Your friends dragged you out here and they've suddenly abandoned you for some rock star in the VIP lounge. Are you bitter? Maybe. Or maybe you'll just use the opportunity to flirt with the cute bartender...

4. Shirley Temple - You got a call five minutes ago asking you to come to the bar to pick up your too-intoxicated friend/brother/sister. But now that you're here, they don't seem to be anywhere to be found...

5. Poolside Pleasure - There's nothing like being on vacation in a tropical paradise, is there? And what better way to soak in that tropical vibe than to swim up to the Tiki Bar for a relaxing fruity drink with a paper umbrella?

6. Moonshine - Maybe you're underaged. Or maybe the bar isn't exactly what you'd call legal. Whatever the reason, you're not supposed to be here, but you are, and while you're here, might as well get something to wet your whistle, right? Just be careful not to get caught...

7. Hair of the Dog - Last night was... do you even remember last night? Probably not, given the wicked hangover pounding in your head right now. Well, nothing cure a hangover like having a drink in the morning to take the edge off, right?

8. Champagne - Something great has happened! Did you get a promotion? Kill your nemesis? Whatever it is, you feel great and it's time everyone celebrated with you. A round of champagne on the house!

9. Shaken, not Stirred - To everyone else, this is a regular bar, but not to you. You know you're here to meet a clandestine contact, an enemy informer or a secret spy. Better play it cool and keep your eyes open...

10. Sunken Pirate Ship - You've been out on the high seas for months, and finally made it into port with your pockets full of gold. What're you going to do first? Drink that gold away or buy some company for the evening? You can do both at the bar...

11. Punch in the Rain - You're the bouncer of this bar and you think the guy sitting next to you has probably had too much to drink. Maybe it's time to cut them off. Hopefully they'll go easy, huh?

12. Bartender - Everyone who walks through the door has a story to tell, and you're the guy they love to tell those stories to. Are you the type to listen, or the type to slip a little something extra into their drink in hopes that they shut up about their sob story?

13. Absinthe - Whatever it is you just drank didn't seem to agree with you. And at the corner of your eye you keep seeing this bright green faerie... Is everything happening around you reality, or have you slipped into some kind of hallucination?

14. 357 Magnum - Did you just insult my mother? Whether or not they did, you sure think so, and you know what's the best way to settle things in a bar? With a bar brawl, of course!

15. Happy Hour - Anything goes! Got another scenario you want to play out, this is the place for it!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

A bar, Miss Adler? A bar? Out of all the places we could have convened, you choose a bar? [A pause followed by a sigh] People might see me here, they might start talking. People never say good things about the types they see in bars and I don't want to ruin my reputation.

[The smile slowly returned to his face.]

I thought I'd never hear from you again, thought you'd forgotten dear Jim after you got yourself involved with that detective and his blogger... Take a seat, my dear.

[In the face of Jim Moriarty's rant, Irene simply smiled and slid into the vacant chair. They both knew all the reasons he complained about were precisely the reason why she'd chosen the bar.

That and they poured a lovely house red. Which she sipped as Jim continued talking.]

Me, forget you? It's not nice to speak ill of the dead, Jim. [Her right hand swirled the wine in its wineglass while her left tapped perfectly painted fingernails against the table.] Tell me, what's the weather in Brunei like this time of year?

Honey, I'd never dream of doing such a thing. I only speak ill of those within earshot, it's more fun that way.

[He took a long, slow sip of his martini, never breaking eye contact with The Woman sitting opposite of him. She is filthy, isn't she? With those red lips and that red varnish on her nails.]

I don't have all night, Miss Adler... No, Irene? I think we're on a first name basis by now, after all we've been through together. [A pause] I have things to take care of, busy man, you know. So, start talking.

Miss Adler. Let's keep this a business relationship if you want to dispense with the small talk, shall we?

[Her lips thin at his words and she takes another slow sip of her wine.] Let's just say I know what the Crown Prince likes, Mr. Moriarty. And what his plans are about his father. Are you interested.

Oh, Mister Moriarty makes me sound so stuffy. Let's stick with first names, we can chit-chat if you wish. Talk about the weather, something funny I saw on the internet last week... I was only trying to make this meeting easier on the both of us, but I know how women like to play catch-up when they see an old acquaintance.

[Her thinning lips and irritation are met with a grin]

Am I interested? How would this information be of any benefit to me? What will I get out of this little arrangement? Because I don't need you, Irene. I don't. I can get these little secrets, these little bedroom details from others. You're not the only dominatrix in London.

No, but I'm the best. [She sets the wineglass down, and flexes her fingers. Her palm is positively itching for the riding crop but this is neither the time nor the place.]

And if you can't find a use for it, maybe I'll send it off to the consulting detective. See what solution to the puzzle he can find.

Ooh, no, no, no. Don't give it to him. That's what everyone expects, it's so boring... He's not a fan of that sort of thing, my dear, told me so himself.

[Jim absentmindedly taps on the table a few seconds, never once breaking eye contact with her, before laying his hand flat and leaning forward]

I can find a use for anything you have to give me. So, go on, tell me more.

[Her smile deepens at his reaction. Losing to the consulting detective had given Irene a better grasp of how he thought. Which in its own way gave her a better grasp of how the consulting criminal operated. Which was exactly why she'd mentioned Sherlock Holmes.

She runs a finger along the rim of her wineglass.]

You can't guess? Tsk tsk, Jim, surely you've figured out enough to know what it's worth. Or at least to be in the ballpark.

[Barely a second passes before his lips start to curve into a grin. Oh, this woman is good, isn't she? An absolute delight. It is rather obvious why people, good or bad, gravitate toward her. Moving his face a bit closer, still leaning forward, Jim turns his head first one way and then the other much like one would expect from a serpent. With a lowered voice, he speaks...]

I just want to hear you say it.

[She watches him steadily, seemingly unmoved by his serpentine motion. She leans forward on her elbows, just a bit, and her voice is low and throaty, silken with an implacable edge of steel.]

I'm offering you the lasting goodwill of the Brunei throne, Jim darling, and all that it entails. What. Is. It. Worth.

[His eyebrows raise at her tone of voice and, leaning back in his chair, he gives her a nod. A bit of a confirmation, if you will, a small nod to let her know that he has been paying careful attention to every word out of her mouth, even the smallest movement. He wants her to know that he is slowly going over her offer and weighing his options. She's a tough negotiator, past experiences have taught him this... So, what is it worth?

The consulting criminal takes a moment to lazily swirl the olive around in his martini, making sure the expression on his face remains difficult to decipher and his eyes stay locked on the smoky pair opposite himself.]

That is the question, isn't it? What is it worth... You do know how make me curious, Irene. Toying with me as if you're doing nothing more than dangling a feather in the face of a cat.

[A pause]

But I think the more pressing question is what do you want from me in exchange for it? Name your price.

[There is a brief pregnant pause at his words, and Irene watches him, carefully considering.]

You had a hand in Karachi, didn't you?

[A scandalized (albeit extremely fake) look appears on his face]

Are you accusing me? I'm, I'm positively hurt... Why would you ever?

[A look of satisfaction plays over her face at his response. She'd suspected as much but his reaction put everything in its place. Still, she plays the game, the false veneer of goodwill between business associates.]

Because you said you would. And what I want is for that to never happen again.

If you'd rather not be faced with another incident like Karachi, then you need to play by my rules. I make up the rules to the games and you follow them. That way, I don't have to get my hands dirty... not that I would anyway.

[A brief pause]

All you want in exchange for this information you've acquired is your safety?

[He glances to the right, bringing his thumb to his lips]

If you don't make any mistakes, do anything stupid this time, I could arrange that.

[His answer makes her laugh, this time without the silken coquetry or pretenses of congeniality, just cold calculation.]

Tsk tsk, Jim. You think I'd give that away for so little? A little credit please. [Her hands rest flat on the table, nails bright against the gleaming wood.] No rules, no games. I give you this and we both walk away, and we pretend like we've never met.

[Her laugh is met with one of his own]

And you think I actually believe that? Oh, my dear, who do you think you're talking to?

[Her laughter fades back to a brisk smile, all business.]

Someone who knows how to bargain.

Someone who knows how to bargain? Perhaps. [A pause] How about someone who just wants to be entertained, to have some fun?

Come now, Jim, you're flattering. We both know I'm not your type.

[She takes another prim sip of wine.] This is a means to getting you that fun you do want.

[He gives her an expressionless glance before taking another sip of his martini.]

So, where do we begin, Irene? You want something that I can't promise and... and I want something you have. Bit of a spot we've found ourselves in, isn't it?

[She settles back into her chair, seemingly casual, and gives him a patient, expectant look.]

Tsk. I'm disappointed, Jim. I thought you'd realize the game began the second you said yes to the meeting.

And you think I didn't realize that...

[A small laugh]

Don't be disappointed in me, honey. I'm always, always a step ahead of the game. You should know that better than, well, better than almost anybody... Except, maybe, the Holmes brothers and the little blogger.

[She taps a finger against the tabletop.] Then make me an offer.

You already know I'm not going to promise you the ultimate protection that you so desire, that would get boring after some time, but I can give you anonymity.

[A pause]

You go anywhere and I'll clean up after you, make sure not a single piece of skin is left that could lead somebody to your door.

Blame it on the Goose Got you feeling loose... Blame it on the alcohol

oh, 100%

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)