Blame it on the Goose Got you feeling loose... Blame it on the alcohol

[funvee]

The Walk Into A Bar Meme!

The bar's a comfortable place, where everyone knows you just have to walk up, give the bartender a smile, and order up a drink. Everyone goes to a bar sometime, whether to pick up a companion for the night, to pick up a friend, or pick up a drink. You never know the story behind the guy sitting next to you, or the bartender. But that's what bars are for, aren't they? To learn about the guy on the stool next to you, drinking his gin and tonic.

So what do you do in a Walk Into A Bar meme?

1. Comment here with your character and their canon in the subject line.
2. Hit RNG for a number between 1-15.
3. Tag someone else using that number as your character's reason for coming to the bar.
4. Profit!

So, what's your poison?

1. Sex on the Beach - You're here at the bar for one reason and one reason only, to find some company for the night. It might help, to buy them a drink first. But then they might throw that back in your face...

2. Tonic and Gin - Life's been one disaster after another lately, and the only thing that makes it easier is the sweet numbing taste of alcohol...

3. Midori Sour - Your friends dragged you out here and they've suddenly abandoned you for some rock star in the VIP lounge. Are you bitter? Maybe. Or maybe you'll just use the opportunity to flirt with the cute bartender...

4. Shirley Temple - You got a call five minutes ago asking you to come to the bar to pick up your too-intoxicated friend/brother/sister. But now that you're here, they don't seem to be anywhere to be found...

5. Poolside Pleasure - There's nothing like being on vacation in a tropical paradise, is there? And what better way to soak in that tropical vibe than to swim up to the Tiki Bar for a relaxing fruity drink with a paper umbrella?

6. Moonshine - Maybe you're underaged. Or maybe the bar isn't exactly what you'd call legal. Whatever the reason, you're not supposed to be here, but you are, and while you're here, might as well get something to wet your whistle, right? Just be careful not to get caught...

7. Hair of the Dog - Last night was... do you even remember last night? Probably not, given the wicked hangover pounding in your head right now. Well, nothing cure a hangover like having a drink in the morning to take the edge off, right?

8. Champagne - Something great has happened! Did you get a promotion? Kill your nemesis? Whatever it is, you feel great and it's time everyone celebrated with you. A round of champagne on the house!

9. Shaken, not Stirred - To everyone else, this is a regular bar, but not to you. You know you're here to meet a clandestine contact, an enemy informer or a secret spy. Better play it cool and keep your eyes open...

10. Sunken Pirate Ship - You've been out on the high seas for months, and finally made it into port with your pockets full of gold. What're you going to do first? Drink that gold away or buy some company for the evening? You can do both at the bar...

11. Punch in the Rain - You're the bouncer of this bar and you think the guy sitting next to you has probably had too much to drink. Maybe it's time to cut them off. Hopefully they'll go easy, huh?

12. Bartender - Everyone who walks through the door has a story to tell, and you're the guy they love to tell those stories to. Are you the type to listen, or the type to slip a little something extra into their drink in hopes that they shut up about their sob story?

13. Absinthe - Whatever it is you just drank didn't seem to agree with you. And at the corner of your eye you keep seeing this bright green faerie... Is everything happening around you reality, or have you slipped into some kind of hallucination?

14. 357 Magnum - Did you just insult my mother? Whether or not they did, you sure think so, and you know what's the best way to settle things in a bar? With a bar brawl, of course!

15. Happy Hour - Anything goes! Got another scenario you want to play out, this is the place for it!

Comments

[fuckincakewake]

[ As sour a mood and this has put her in, she still laughs despite herself at Rose's reaction. A little touched the girl tried the drink at all- that was one big gulp of scotch. Hesitantly looking back to her, lifts a hand to pat Rose on the back gently.

This is weird but. There had to be a reason she's named that, that she has her mother's face. I mean, Roxy wanted to bring the woman back to life right? They can't have all been bad memories.

Still pretty drunk though. ]

quit puling the hood down
ur kidna cute

[ Knocks Roses's hood back to her shoulders and takes a greedy gulp of the other girl's drink, then one of her own. Just cause she wants to see that face, doesn't mean she has to do it sober. ]

what are u here for anyawy?
soembody told me we were supposed to mee tin the game

[lighty_broad]

I miscalculated.
I arrived a bit earlier than anticipated.
I believe whoever informed you of the when and where of my arrival was misinformed as a result.

[ She has to refrain herself from reflexively frowning at the mention of being cute. Mom is being honest, she knows now, after a lifetime of thinking the compliments were sarcastic or passive-aggressive. She manages to not frown, but she is not exactly smiling, either.

She stares at the bartop. ]

As for the reason for my coming to find you, I had wished to meet and speak with you.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Swirls the liquid in one of the glasses, staring down into the murky brown substance. Lips purse at Rose's confession they wanted to talk, pulls her hand back. Just as Rose isn't looking at her, she'll keep her eyes off the girl for now. ]

why dyou wana talk to me for
im teh one whos got liek questions and shit
fooor exsample
do you have a dad
or am i doomed to a dudeless lief of ectobio bullshit?

[lighty_broad]

[ Her eye twitches. Did her mother want someone in her life? Wait, of course she did--she saw her and John's father. So, Rose really did hold her mother back, even from something as ordinary as romance. Just how strong was that woman, keeping so much inside her for so long for the sake of raising a child? ]

No, I do not have a father.
However, that does not doom you to any sort of fate, dudeless or otherwise.
I believe there is a misconception that needs to be clarified.
Which is another reason for my arriving earlier than anticipated.
I did not want anyone else to tell you the truth, knowing that someone has to.

[fuckincakewake]

[ GROANS. Of course she doesn't have a dad. That would be way too convenient, Ro-La getting some action in her life. Nope, she is no cassanova, as hot a haxxor bitch as she is. These rogueish looks will go to waste on account of.. well, to be honest, nothing about Roxy in this timeline or another could possibly blame Rose for her failure to have a father figure in the girl's life. Honestly, it was probably the fancy pants careerwomanhood, or maybe the boozin, or the obsession with wizards? Roxy could come up with an entire list of why she isn't tits deep in suitors at the moment, and none of them would ever include Rosie.

Sidelong look back to Rose, taking another drink. Eyebrowz up. ]

uh
oaky a misconsospetion
hit me

[lighty_broad]

I am not from the future, as I think you may have been lead to believe.
Rather, I am from an alternate dimension.
In that dimension, I am Rose Lalonde, daughter of Roxy Lalonde.
In this dimension, the roles have been swapped.
You are Roxy Lalonde, daughter of Rose Lalonde.
You were going to meet both your mother and daughter in the game because they are one and the same.

I am as much your mother as you are mine.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Yeah, she's gonna finish her drink. And the next one. That fucking burns, okay, maybe not as smart a choice as she made. Sets the second glass down and slowly pushes herself off the stool- albiet wobbly- and starts to lurch her way for the door. ]

cool stroy bro

[You overloaded her boozed up mind, Rose! Well, it actually makes perfect sense, and really there's nothing inherently wrong with having an alternate universe where you are a mom instead of having a daughter in this universe. But. It's still a lot to take in, and Rose, you wanted them to leave the bar anyway right? You might want to give your mother/daughter a hand, Roxy keeps staggering against other patrons, unable to right herself perfectly. Drunk mess, coming through. ]

[lighty_broad]

[ That went about as well as anticipated.

Once again, Rose gets off the stool and moves to support her mother/daughter. She moves the other patrons out of the way, but not bothering to mutter an apology. ]

Here.
Let me help.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Rests her face in her hand with a weak laugh, letting the bulk of her weight slouch against Rose. You want to help, you can help a lot/ You can carry her out for all she cares. ]

whyre u teling me this

[lighty_broad]

[ She can handle this; her class and attribute may not lend themselves to being STRONG, but she is strong enough. ]

I am not entirely sure, although I have been thinking about how to answer that question in particular for some time.
Perhaps it is because you need to know.
Maybe because you would come to find out some other way.
Maybe I'm doing it to just alleviate my own selfish regret for being the daughter I was and the mother I apparently had been.

Regardless.

[ Pause. Definitely not choking up or anything. This is totally not harder or more exhausting than facing Bec Noir or doing a suicidal bomb run, except it totally is. ]

You deserve to know and allowing someone else to tell you would simply be denying my responsibility.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Even if she's sauced to hell and back, can still tell when her daughter is choking up. It's weird, her mom wasn't exactly the most emotional of people, and presumably neither was her daughter, so Roxy gets this is a pretty big deal, a rare occasion. She'll stay quiet for Rose's explanation, although still a little wobbly on her feet.

Trying to think of the best thing to say that's not gonna make this girl any more upset, something that is easy to explain and maybe an equal trade of knowledge. Something to show she appreciates Rose being honest with her.

Getting the impression, for all her fancy seeing, this daughter/mother is still pretty in the dark about the specifics of the alpha world. ]

we were gonna play to bring u back to life
me and strider were at least
just leik as an fyi
in case u were feelin guilty or soemthing

[lighty_broad]

[ She laughs. Then, wipes her eye. ]

A much better goal than us.
We had played the game simply because it was there.

[ The Beta kids played out of boredom and curiosity, while the Alpha kids played with the intention of reviving their shitty parents. ]

It is a bit ironic. You play the game in an attempt to revive me, while my attempt to play the game killed you.
Some omnipotent powers-that-be somewhere are laughing their omniscient asses off.

[ Yeah, we all know now for sure who wins the rewards for both Best Mom and Best Daughter go to. ]

[fuckincakewake]

[Weak smile back to the girl when she laughs. At least she doesn't have a daughter that's so gloomy. Figures she hasn't seen her own mother ever be quite so thrilled, so can't complain.

Bracing herself against Rose's shoulder as they reach the door out of the bar. Hopefully saying this like it's not worth half the stress and emphasis Rose is putting on it. ]

not gonna lie
the prospect of geting rad as hell powers on top of it was prety good
but i geuss i kinda thought it was just a batterwitch trap
whiiich judging from me as your mom dyin impleis
guess it kinda was too

[lighty_broad]

[ It is amazing what seeing your mother die, get stabbed to death by an almighty dog monster, and exploding inside of a sun and getting precognitive powers can do to one's disposition. Mainly, all that shit finally jarred the thorn out of this rose's ass. ]

I have to admit that the thought of you evolving or becoming consciously able to control your Void aspect is more than a bit disconcerting.
As it is, I am only able to see you in the literal sense, whereas my mind is telling me you are not there.

So, basically, you would have been even more impossible for me to track down at a bar.

[fuckincakewake]

[ So Roxy isn't as experienced as God Tier Rose might be. Let it be known that older, famed author Rose Lalonde was just as thorny as younger Rose, so don't go getting too sure of your self. Paps Rose on the side of the face, both sides, maybe squeezing a little too hard to pucker up those lips. Yep, still drunk. ]

its cute u wanted to dirnk with me so bad
u hopped thru time and space to do it
if id ahev known id have gone to a cooler gar
*bar

[lighty_broad]

[ In a past life, having her mother do such a thing to her would have infuriated her, causing her to stubbornly respond in impatience and silence. Now, her deadpan blank look in response to being face-mushed is entirely and obviously light-hearted, lacking any of the scorn.

Someone has to play the straightman to your wacky antics, Mom.

Even if the deadpan expression requires actual effort on her part, as she needs to consciously keep the edges of her lips down. ]

Yes. My need to flaunt in public my complete and utter inability to stomach alcohol of any kind was an urge overwhelming.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Rose, you can't be encouraging all this touchy-feely stuff Roxy is attempting with you. Your mom-daughter is drunk and attention starved, and not really big on boundaries. She will push this until you are uncomfortable and a couple more yards after that. As if the stone face wasn't encouragement enough already.

Tosses her weight against the door to stumble out into the night air- hiccups and laughs as her steps stagger near the curb. Grinning, regains her balance to toss herself bodily against Rose, looping her arms around the other girl's neck. ]

ive got leik
sooooo many more questiosm
rosie
was i a good mom
strider thikns wed be bad paresnt so i gotta ask
for SCEINCE

[ Smiling and turning Rose with her like they're doing a little dance outside the bar, like this isn't weighing heavy on her heart- the reversing of their situations form dimension to dimension. Roxy wonders if she might have been just as absent of a mother in that timeline as Rose was in her own. ]

[lighty_broad]

[ > ROSE: Enforce your boundaries!

She fails totally and for a lack of trying. It took her mother's death for her to learn what it was she wanted and she is not about to push that away now that she is receiving it. ]

You took a picture I drew of and a poem I wrote in dedication to our pet cat Jaspers, had the paper framed with metal, and then permanently welded to the fridge.

[ Your own daughter-mom is just as attention starved, even if sober, Roxy. She may have a strict sense of personal space (though not as much as a certain supposed Cool Kid), but she has softened as of late and...well, Roxy may just get a FREE PASS in these matters. ]

You showered me with utterly ridiculous gifts and praised my most mundane of achievements as though they were worth of the Nobel Prize.
This was all simultaneous with your giving me ludicrously high goals without thinking for a moment that I may not accomplish them.
You were nigh omnipresent.
It was all embarrassing and irritating.

In other words, yes.
Yes, you were more than a good mom.

[ At this point, she is outright encouraging Roxy's touchy-feely dancy behavior as she wraps her arms around her mom-daughter's waist, likely the closest thing to a hug she has ever returned to someone. ]

[fuckincakewake]

[ Delighted little shriek, nuzzles Rose's neck, squeezing her entirely too tight. She reeks of booze, but this is genuine happiness. Honestly, this sounds like a load of fuckruckus and any teen worth half their salt would be unlikely to find much of any of this an ideal parent-child relationship ]

my mom wasdeinfitnely the msartest lady in the world
she knew lots about the viody bullshit too which has made my tryign to track her kinda imspossible
but ppl knew how fantastic she was from fuckgin book ONE
theyrre my favorites books too rosey
and i was sooooo jealosus of you
in a good way tho!!

[ Petting the other girl's hair, mentally acknowledging this isn't quite as flattering as Rose's description of her own mother. But it's difficult to describe Rose Lalonde as anything more than the larger than life figure she appeared to be due to Roxy's limited interactions with her. While older Mom Lalonde might have seemed omnipresent, an older Rose proved to be nigh untraceable. ]

an then u died liek a barkbeast and tehy replaced u with a batterbitch spy

[ Oh, for fuck's sake. How is that helpful knowledge? Roxy you're a mess, as her player I apologize for her. ]

[lighty_broad]

[ If anyone, teen or otherwise, were to mention this as anything but an ideal parent-child relationship, Rose would toss them over a building. Despite the stench of booze, Rose allows for the too tight nuzzling and hugging.

She herself restrains her physical affection to the light arms-around-the-waist hug. ]

Oh.
There is another fact concerning your alter-ego that you may find worthwhile to know.
While I may not have had a father beyond an unwitting donator of ectobiological material, you were not doomed to being alone.
Which I am grateful for. If it were possible, I would thank him.
At the end, you did find someone.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Cooing and cuddling the other girl as she continues with her lovely flattery. Roxy hopes she gives a little back in return! ]

hwo could i be alone
i had u didnt i
tahts enough
more that enough

[Brief pause in the petting and nuzzling to pull back and observe her daughter critically, the full weight of this revelation hitting her. Not to belittle what she said before, but let's remember we are still dealing with a teenage girl here. Having a cute kid is the best end game, but not dying alone and eaten by cats is definitely a close second! ]

but serisouly was it strdier??
*strider
omg

[lighty_broad]

[ Crazy drunken cat lady mom, she may require some more cuddling and cooing before she breaks and returns the actions in some form.

But after Seer-ing the Alpha session a bit, having a few hunches, and talking to the other Alpha kids anonymously under the guise of some weird Super God of Light From Space or Something, she expects her next revelation to beat out any cuddle-cooing.

...Although she does have to get one more depressing fact out of the way. ]

I.
I was not with you when you died and that fault lies with me.
I may have been able to prevent your death entirely, though all logic says otherwise.
Nevertheless, I should have been there to try.

[ She keeps going to cut off any possible responses to that from Roxy; Rose knows that if she had been with Mom at the time, all that would have changed is that they would have died at the same time rather than apart--which would still have been better, but she knows Mom had been happy at the end.

And if Rose had died before her mother, it would have made Mom's death all the worse. ]

No; while Dirk strider is my ectobiological father, it was not he who was with you at the end.
I am not entirely sure if the two of you were even acquainted in that universe, but that is irrelevant.
The man whose heart you stole at the end of your story was the father of my friend, John Egbert.
In this universe, that man is the father of Jane Crocker.

oops thought i replied!! my bad

[fuckincakewake]

[ You're damn right Roxy would argue that! Having Rose die before her mother would have destroyed the woman, that's for sure. But Rose ought to hear some of the facts behind how her mother-version died in THIS universe. Maybe if Roxy had been smarter somehow, she'd have seen the signs. Or been a better shot, or better fighter she could've warded off the Condesce's hitman, could've woken up before the shot, could have set up an alternative power source so when she went downstairs to examine the source of the noise, when she smelt copper and the carpet felt wet she might've realized sooner- might've administered proper medical treatment or caught who did it before the body was scurried away, the replacement slipping into her li-

blinks. Roxy is perfectly still, face completely blank, before this sinks in. Suddenly, she GRABS Rose's hands to start shrieking and jumping up and down because MISTER CROCKER! JANEYS DAD! THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN DIRK!! All previous upset over dead mothers seems to fade away, for the time being, at this news.

Whooping and laughing at the idea that somewhere, someday, a version of herself finally gets with her buddy's mega hot dad.. well, there's just no other way to put it. ]

YESSSSSSSSS
I GET TO TOALTY PAIL WITH JANEYS DAD
I KNEWWWWWWWWWE IT! i knwe i t

[ Okay, actually starting to get a little dizzy from all the spinning and jumping. Actually not looking so great, maybe a little green? Oh Rose. You shouldn't have let her have those two glasses of scotch. Pitable look before staggering aside to sit at the curb, not gonna throw up. Do not throw up. This is meeting your ecto-mom/daughter and hearing about your totally rad (albeit inevitably doomed) future. Not evena little dry heaving. ]

S)(AM--E ON YOU

[lighty_broad]

[ NOT ENTIRELY AS PLANNED.

She had anticipated the mental and emotional reaction quite well--in that she knew Roxy would flip shits over the relationship with Mister Egbert/Crocker, even if in an alternate dimension. What she did not take into her planning is the gastrointestinal reaction to the other reaction.

If only her powers came in the lifey-thingy style she may be able to help her drunken ecto-mom/daughter. Sadly, that is not the case.

She follows and sits next to Roxy on the curb. Hopefully no one mistakes her for a street cone. ]

I am far from familiar with the exact specifics of what activities went on between the two and I would like to keep it that way.
But, yes, I can, at the very least, confidently assure that the two of you were 'totes an item', as you may say.

[ Any 'pailing' activities between her mom and anyone else are firmly prevented from entering Rose's mind. After all, this is meeting your ecto-mom/daughter. No throwing up.

She places a hand on Roxy's back, hoping to either keep the girl from vomiting or, if she were to vomit, to be in a position to offer some sort of help immediately. ]

wwhy do you evven thread wwith me i dont evven knoww

[fuckincakewake]

[ Taking deep breaths to steady the urge to retch, casts Rose a grateful glance when the other girl rubs her back. Really, the best daughter ever, everybody else go home. We found ourselves a winner. ]

u seem to know a lot
with ur omnipotentnty orangey powers

[ Leans over and taps Rose right on the little button nose. The same name nose on both their faces- Roxy's posed in enough mirrors to know that nose anywhere. Nausea subsiding, however temporarily, watching her daughter through the haze of inebriation and information overload. ]

so leik
is it my fault u died?

[ It's unclear whether she means Rose's dimension or her own, and its debatable whether or that matters to her. ]