bakerstreet | otherwordly.

ooc: Oh... both of these are good, I'll start with the first one and we can do the other one at a later meme. Also an option: reuniting in the lifestream...

[ Hythlodaeus has made his decision earlier in the day, and while he is absolutely, unbreakably certain in it, it's made him lose focus for the rest of the day. He still put his affairs in order, as much as it could be done in the chaos around them, the chaos that needed people's sacrifice to be stopped. And then he sat to wait.

By the time the door clicked, he was mostly curled up on the couch, knees under his chin, eyes half-closed but enough to drink in the souring but still beautiful aether of the world around him.

The noise almost startles him. He makes sure that, despite the additional hope that it might be Azem, somehow, the arrival is Emet-Selch, and straightens, taking a deep breath and soothing his roiling emotions to meet the other man. He'll cause enough pain by what he'll say, he knows; no need to start it vaguely and cruelly and early. ]

You are unharmed?

[ He's not postponing anything, he's not. But these days, even routine walks have been made treacherous and filled with peril. It is only natural to ask. ]

Who do you take me for?

[Brusque, dismissive; but in truth he is relieved to find Hythlodaeus here, whole and seemingly none the worse for wear. Something so commonplace and dare he say expected helps to ease the tight knot around his heart. Less expected is that he crosses the room and comes to sit nearby, bowing forward and letting out an exhausted (truly exhausted) sigh.]

[Beneath his mask, Emet-Selch's face is all tired, furrowed lines - weary in a way he has never before known. For all his skill and all his power, the very areas in which he excels have now become uncertain, dangerous ground threatening to break apart at the seams. How many times in recent days has he been left to watch as creation magicks warped and ran, monstrous and out of control as they overwhelmed their Amaurotine creators?]

[All the better that the Convocation's plan is very nearing its completion and he is dedicated in seeing it through - for the sake of their people and their star. He cannot, and will not, falter.]

Far too much is at stake for me to be anything but unharmed.

[ A pang of genuine worry cuts through Hythlodaeus. He doesn't try to hide it, though he doesn't believe Emet-Selch is looking, but he does let it dissipate softly as he reaches out an arm to offer physical comfort. That will not always be taken, though Emet-Selch sitting close suggests it might. ]

Come here. It's all right to be tired.

[Emet-Selch does not relocate himself, but neither does he flinch away nor will he grumble overly much if Hythlodaeus decides to be persistent. (Which, as he knows, is always.)]

[It clearly isn't "all right" when he has a duty to uphold amidst all this chaos. No, it will only be all right once they have summoned Zodiark and the star has ceased its mournful keening. When this poison is no longer running rampant through his beloved Amaurot.]

[A huff of laughter, humorless. Slowly he turns his head to regard his friend.]

Would you believe they ordered me rest? At this hour? As if we have all the time in the world...

[He sounds offended by the very notion that he needs to rest. Now of all times, especially.]

[ And today, more than ever. He swallows, to keep himself from hissing softly at the words that are not meant the way they are received, and shifts to wrap an arm around Emet-Selch's shoulders, only lightly tugging closer, rather than anything else.

It takes a moment before he finds words, but then the only ones he can manage are, ] it is the time we have.

[ The emphasis on 'we' is very, very slight, but it's still audible.

Did... someone who knew about his decision do this? He can't tell, he's not sure it could have been processed this fast, considering the numbers. And if it were known, Emet-Selch's reaction would have been different. ]

[There is no way he could have heard. Not yet. Such preparations, and any associated forms do not fall quite within his jurisdiction.]

[And yet something is not entirely right with this scene. The inflection isn't lost on him, nor the sudden heavy weight of those words. It is then Emet-Selch realizes there has been no insufferable teasing, no smiles. Even in these the so-called "Final Days", things between them have remained no less the same as ever. So then, why so quiet...?]

[This time he does pull back a little, stiffly - if only so he can better observe, frowning as he tries to glean the true nature of this moment.]

Hythlodaeus?

[ Hythlodaeus doesn't try to chase the warmth of closer contact, nor does he avert his eyes or try to hide... anything. ]

Well, more precisely, the time that I have.

[ A small shrug, and, for once, he struggles for words. ]

Half of our number need to go for our star to survive. And I know I can trust those who stay to mend it, once that is done.

[ Etheirys will have use of many people, once that happens. The chief of the Bureau of the Architect, it can do without. ]

...What?

[For those who would sacrifice themselves to call upon Zodiark, to give of themselves to save their brethren and their star, Emet-Selch has only the highest, highest respect. This remains so, for what greater calling could there be? And yet the first emotion he feels is--anger, like deep cold fingers wending their way into his soul. His eyes narrow, mouth still slightly parted as a silent breath escapes him.]

What are you playing at, Hythlodaeus?

[He isn't playing, he knows. That incurable smugness is gone and in its very absence, he realizes beyond doubt that he does not like it one little bit. Etheirys may be able to do without, but what of--!]

[His jaw snaps shut, teeth pressed tight together to bite off any further unseemly protest. He knew. He knew the cost from the very beginning, and yet perhaps he did not truly, truly know until this very moment.]

[ Helplessly, Hythlodaeus closes his eyes for a moment. The anger, the disbelief, he expected them, as he did the reaction that follows. That doesn't mean that it doesn't pain him to see Emet-Selch like this.

This isn't what he wanted. What he dreamed of. But it is what he must do.

But the moment of weakness he permits himself is brief, and when his eyes open, they are gentle and calm as before.

He raises a hand, his fingers oh so light along the clenched jaw, the only admonishment he will permit himself to give. ]

I wouldn't--

[ He stops and swallows lest his voice crack. ]

I wouldn't play with something like this.

[He knows. He knows this. Besides, what would he do? Ask him to reconsider? Beg him not to go through with it? Of course he wouldn't! He has no right. Nor does he have any place to change his mind, nor to take this from him. He recognizes it as something Hythlodaeus must do. Perhaps that is the part he was meant to play. Just as he must play his part in aiding the Convocation, in guiding their remaining brethren.]

[Even so, Hythlodaeus might notice the slight tremor beneath his fingertips as Emet-Selch exhales again and finally looks away with a furrowed brow, eyes falling shut.]

I know.

[He is exhausted to his core, but he dare not rest now. How could he? It will be a long, long time before the two of them meet again. He will not squander what time they have, pitiful little though it is.]

If that be your choice, then I will see the rest is done. Our star saved, and our way of life restored.

((OOC: Would you prefer a gen route or shippy route? I'm cool with either option.))

[ This is... almost worse. Hythlodaeus never wanted to give Emet-Selch this kind of pain. But he also knows that this is not the kind of choice to leave to other people. This star, and everyone on it, needs to live on. It needs to be saved, and it needs to recover, and for both of these people need to do what they need to do.

And Emet-Selch... will hurt, but he is strong, and he'll do what he must, too. Until all is set to rights and his work is done, then they can find each other again. And they will. They will. ]

It is. [ Softly. ] You know I never could do much, beyond seeing. And now I can. I can help save our star, that it might live on, grow, and be as beautiful as it used to be. And I know you will see the rest, but also...

Once it is restored, you can see it for me.

[ The way that they see. Something they have shared for a long, long time. ]

ooc: ... I'm cool with either too, with a bit of a preference towards shipping - both or ot3 with Azem - so go ahead and do what feels good!

['Stay and see it for yourself, then!' A stray, selfish thought that he does not give voice to.]

[What Hythlodeaus says is fundamentally correct, he knows. All but the ever-present insistance that he can do nothing else but see. He's done far more. But that too he does not voice. Instead Emet-Selch bows his head but a fraction and reaches up to slip off the red mask that obscures his tired face. His sharp golden eyes open then, and he allows himself to look upon Hythlodeaus and his bright, shimmering soul - troubled plainly and yet still achingly beautiful amidst this sea of fading, tortured lights.]

It shall be done. And once it is, we will spare no effort in seeing to it that all is made whole once more. Including you who would give us this chance.

[Unwavering, firm. But then he adds, with a half-hearted sigh:]

...So don't foist all your hopes upon me. You will one day see it, too, as only you can.

[But that is for the future and they are yet here. His fingers close around his friend's slim wrist - firm, yet not unkindly so.]

[ Hythlodaeus doesn't often use magicks, his ability to manipulate aether surpassed by that of most children, but creation magicks are still his to wield - and despite how widely the Final Days affect people, not once have his magicks turned out wrong.

So... yes, his aether is bright and unblemished by what ails others. Troubled, upset by what is happening, but not twisted by it. Not even by the decision he's made - a decision he knows would be his one day, just not this soon.

His own eyes soften when Emet-Selch's are uncovered, smile a little even - and then blink, startled. ]

This...

[ He bites his lips slightly as he considers, though glimmers of hope struggle in his gaze, in his mind, with worry. ]

What would something like that cost?

[ Is it worth it? he doesn't ask. Because he does understand - restoring the star makes sense, and they who choose as Hythlodaeus has love it so, and the people who are to remain, too - or else they would not go this far to protect them. And, yet...

That would mean that they would not be returning to the star, for those who do cannot be brought back, doesn't it? If temporary... A deep breath, and out of long, long habit, he tries to lighten the mood, if only a little. His tone is mostly normal. ]

Don't foist all my hopes on you, you tell me, and yet give me reason to foist yet more. On you.

[Emet-Selch does not answer, but he lowers Hythlodaeus' arm, his thumb shifting to stroke the inside of his palm, discrete and warm. Certainly he knows there must be a cost - after all there is ever a balance, a give-and-take to uphold.]

[But they are stewards of the star, theirs is the power to create. If the order of things can be properly reinstated, then it stands to reason their magicks should follow. If they can rewrite their fates a first time, then so too shall they succeed again.]

Would you prefer I leave you wallowing in despair? You said yourself that this is the time we have. So you may as well get your parting favors out of the way, because the next chance we meet, I will be the one doing the asking.

[Better to keep it this way. He's no good at goodbyes and he won't have Hythlodaeus see him lost or openly weeping. No, let them treat it just as they would any other normal day.]

Edited 2022-01-03 16:32 (UTC)

[ Calm and serene Hythlodaeus has tried to keep himself, but that doesn't mean that he's not in need of... something, himself. Physical contact, mostly, because he is not ready to let go, he is not ready to be let go of, and yet the hour is far too soon. So when Emet-Selch takes the lead in touching him makes his breath hitch.

And then his eyebrows twitch in surprise. ]

Oh...? And what are you thinking of asking for our reunion then, hmm?

[ About Hythlodaeus asking something for himself... that may take a bit of working up to, so he's playing for time, even if it's only a few sentences. And maybe a bit of flustering, if he's lucky. (He only feels lucky that Emet-Selch, that Hades, is here. Everything else... well. He'll deal with it, somehow.) ]

ooc: Relevant.

[Perhaps he shouldn't make proclamations if he isn't yet willing to reveal them in all of their grand designs. Or mayhap he said it in the moment so it wouldn't sound as if he was openly volunteering for the unknown (something which has the capacity to become quite troublesome, he's learned, when Hythlodaeus and their other friend are involved). He hesitates very briefly, and then pretends to be annoyed, although there's no real bite left in it.]

I-- haven't decided yet!

And here I thought you liked surprises. Am I not allowed to change my mind between this day and the one upon which you find your way back to me? Now that hardly seems fair.

[Though nothing about this is fair, now, is it? But if not the quiet inhale, he does notice the most subtle sort of shifting within Hythlodaeus' soul, and for that reason he lets his thumb drag once more against the soft skin of the hand held there within his. For all he speaks of surprises, there's little Hythlodaeus doesn't already know, or that he can't simply discern if he truly wanted to.]

((OOC: Why must you hurt me so... Also relevant. And this one was just cute, I thought.))

Edited (yikes coding) 2022-01-03 21:10 (UTC)

I do like surprises!

[ Immediate and bright and with the normal excitement, because he really isn't one given to despair - pain and sadness, sometimes, and the self-deprecation, but he is generally too filled with genuine hope for it. Even now.

Especially now. ]

But I am also extremely curious, as you well know. I couldn't help asking - and you can change your mind as many times as you want.

[ His fingers curl slightly at the touch on his palm, and he is so, so happy that he made sure to have this conversation in private. For both of their sakes. Among others, Hades would have to be Emet-Selch, he'd have to hold himself together, to stick to propriety, and they couldn't have this. ]

As to requests of mine - if you can, and only if it's not too much for you... can you stay with me? I'll understand if you don't.

[ What they might do should Emet-Selch stay, that can be seen. But this is what he's asking for. ]

[Ah, but the irony is not lost on him. The one who must leave, is the one asking him to stay; the one he wants to stay, is the one who must leave. Perhaps they've known one another far too long already, for Hythlodeaus thinks to ask of him the single request he would voice to his friend in that far-off future. At least, it is the one loudest in his mind at the moment.]

Too much? [He exhales again, but this time it is less a sigh, and more a huff of amusement - or would be, in any other scenario.]

You request this of me after I am already here. I'll ask again, Hythlodaeus: who do you take me for?

[He isn't angry or judgmental about it. Instead, his gaze is steady and unwavering. He'll offer a hint: the answer isn't Emet-Selch. It's a much more familiar name. And he isn't going to leave, at least not before the morrow.]

I'll stay. But that insatiable curiosity of yours will have to wait.

[And yet, the surprise doesn't have to, necessarily. As Hythlodaeus has gathered, it's only them. Oh, he'll grumble and complain, but he doesn't need stick to anything.]

Edited 2022-01-04 01:07 (UTC)

Hades.

[ It's soft, breathless, gratitude with a hint of plea to it, too, Hythlodaeus himself not sure what for. Not to hate him, perhaps, not to hate himself. Not to hurt too much, for there is so much more to live for.

Instead of pursuing that deeper, he nods. ]

I think I can handle my curiosity being left like this.

And I take you for the man who has spent so long protecting me and letting me grow, showing me beauty like even I have never known, splendor and loyalty and truth, all aglow. Who has given me so much, and yet more to the star, and whose grace and love for me make me who I am. I just meant... that everyone has limits, and if this is yours, don't break on my account.

[ His lips tremble, then curl up, the smile familiar and true. ]

Restored, or in the aethersea, I won't be away from your side forever. This, I promise you, in turn.

Better.

[A nod of approval, and agreement, as he lets go of his hand.]

[But, oh. Oh, no. No no--no he did not stay to listen to this sentimental rubbish! (And yet he does listen, to every sentence, with an almost pained expression creasing his brow.) He will never quite understand Hythlodaeus' unshakable faith in him, nor how he can smile so at this particular juncture, and yet these words do remind him all the more of what - and who - it is he's about to let go of. Hythlodaeus, who at times seems to look at him and see far more than he himself sees, who is kind and beautiful and who can decipher his meaning without the necessity of explanation. The days will be long, and lonely and much too quiet, without his company.]

[Hating him was never an option.]

[He can't listen to a single word more, and so he resorts to the oldest strategy in all the most age-worn tomes. He leans forward and claims Hythlodaeus' mouth with his own. It is not gentle, but it is honest and true, and as a bonus, it will get him to shut up immediately.]

[He will not smash himself to pieces over this, because who can say how many more acts there will be in this ongoing play. So let it be a promise.]

[ Hythlodaeus lets out a whimper - in surprise and pleasure, rather than the opposite, and his fingers seek the recent warmth of the hand holding his, trying to pull that hand close as he kisses back.

He does usually kiss sweetly, but now there is too much happening for it, and he returns the kiss just as hard, and as true, as he moves closer to Hades. To bask in his warmth, in his everything, as he ever did.

When finally they let go, gasping for breath, his eyes are shimmering but not with grief or loss but brightness, and his again-smiling lips are swollen. ]

Hades.

[ Still soft, but less tremulous. A name, enough to give most of the words that yet remain to be said. (And he will say them, ere morning. He will give all of himself, for he knows Hades will keep all of it, all of him.) ]

[If he didn't know better, he'd think Hythlodaeus had made that sweet little sound on purpose just to tempt him, but the way he kisses back and then shifts nearer suggests entirely otherwise. Hythlodaeus will not have to search overlong. Hades has no use for that hand, not right away, and so he doesn't resist when it is tugged back.]

[He pants harshly, once they break away, and if he appears a bit flushed it is surely and absolutely nothing more than a trick of the light (in truth, this time). His eyes are pinned on Hythlodaeus, now that the distance between them has diminished, and he reaches forward with his free hand to brush the soft, exposed skin of his neck while he drinks in the luminance in those eyes, and in the soul all but nestled against him.]

[It's when he can breathe that he speaks, enunciating each syllable to give them purpose.]

I. will not. break. Not here and not now. So take what you want and stop worrying whether it is too much.

If this is to be the climax of our present tale, then by all means, enjoy it.

[ Hythlodaeus's breath hitches, helplessly, and he surges closer for another kiss, all but trying to straddle Hades's lap. His eyes are stinging, though not because what tomorrow, and the days after tomorrow, will bring, but because of this man.

Hythlodaeus is not someone who often allows himself to want things, not for himself.Normally it's easier for him to give than to take, and over the years he's more than gotten used to it. But Hades, Hades makes everything safe for him so he can indulge, a little. And right now all the carefully-constructed walls crumble
so fast and hard that he's trembling.

He won't cry. He won't break in front of Hades, either, because however long this will be, he does not want his friend's, his love's, last memory of him to be shattered and helpless and sad. But something has to give, and apparently this is it. ]

You. What I want is you, Hades.

[ He tries to catch his breath, leaning their foreheads together, but he's sure it won't last long. ]

[Another that he shall have. Hades does not overly indulge in such things, and yet when Hythlodaeus gets like this, all breathless and needy with want for affection, it is always captivating. He says nothing, but the line of his brow does soften, and his lips twitch into a steady, genuine smile.]

[Hades' touch winds around the nape of his neck, tickled by the loose hairs of his friend's - and, yes, love's - braid. He holds him there, letting Hythlodaeus indulge as much as he wants, his own attentions descending to nip at the underside of his jaw, warm and shuddering as Hythlodaeus gives in to his own desires.]

[And, oh, how quickly does he find he requires that hand. Since Hythlodaeus seems so eager to close that last distance between them, he may as well offer to help. And so, if Hythlodaeus is agreeable, that warm weight will settle against his waist and readjust him where obviously they both would prefer that he be.]

[ Hythlodeaus hasn't thought that far ahead about, well, tonight, and his mind is certainly too much of a mess for him to actually know if he wants to be held and kissed and to hold and kiss, or, well, something else entirely. But it doesn't matter, because this is Emet-Selch, this is Hades, and Hythlodaeus can trust in him completely, so anything, everything would be good enough. Everything will be good enough. Better than that, even.

At the nip, he makes a small, wanting noise, and he lets his head drop back, to give Hades better access to... everything, and he feels the back of his head touch the hand holding his neck, and yes, he lets himself be properly settled in Hades's lap.

For the first time since he-- well, for the first time since he knew what needed to be done, and realized it was something he was going to do, he feels... warm, and he leans closer towards the source of that warmth.

Their foreheads together, he finally smiles - small, but real - while they catch their breaths a little. ]

You... will see everyone restored... and I will see that I can, and will, come back. To you.

[ His own promise. He'll hold on. ]

adamantine

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Brace for impact...

The impact of a thousand thousand Bismarcks slamming into him simultaneously, you mean.

poor boy.

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