Weigh it out

[jagan]

pros and cons of dating your character

a humor/shipping meme



The premise is simple.

[1] Your character has a sign listing out all the pros and cons of dating them. Maybe they wrote it themselves, maybe they didn't.
[2] This list is displayed for everyone else to see.
[3] That's it.

Do not post any blank top levels. Comment with your character's list, then have fun reacting to other people's pros and cons.

Comments

Ouija Roman | Vampire the Masquerade (OC) | OTA

[terrifies]

Pros: Dating
Cons: Me

[d3v0]

Ohhh I see, I see. There's your problem. Objects in the camera are reversed.

Peri Brown | Doctor Who | OTA

[perpugilliam]

Pros: All of them.

Cons: Blue-box shaped baggage. It's practically a matching set at this point.

[vislor]

Let's be honest. If any of us were even remotely looking for something like that, we wouldn't have ended up trailing after that particular set of baggage, would we?

Bunshichi Tawara | Tenjho Tenge

[doubleimpact]

Pros:
Strong as fuck
More shredded than a Julienne salad
Motorcyclist
Looks and acts older than he is
Loyal to his friends

Cons:
Still hasn't graduated from high school
LAZY
Acts like a dirty old man
Chain smoker
White hair
Delinquent tendencies

[gurabia]

I personally think white hair looks good on you, Bunshichi-kun!

[ You would think literally everything else would be a total turn-off. Maybe for anyone else, but Sonico just sees all of those things as what made him special. ]

And you're totally not lazy! [ Only sometimes! …Most of the time! ] You work hard in my book~

bucky barnes | mcu | m/f

[unbucky]

pros
- Sensible leather
- Good with the elderly
- Enjoys quiet nights at home

cons
- Just figured out how to make a Spotify playlist. It's exclusively standards and big bands.
- Would wear your grandpa's sweater unironically.
- "Gets" memes, but pretends he doesn't on purpose.

[fishybusiness]

You forgot great with kids, handy mechanic, [ was that pun intended? ] Sam says you're a good designate driver too.

Chloe | Detroit: Become Human

[neverwither]

( + ) Will spoil and pamper you into oblivion!
( + ) Will remind you how special you are at any opportunity!
( + ) Has many handy functions to streamline and simplify your life!
( + ) Stylish android technology ensures your Chloe never has a bad hair/makeup/anything day!
( + ) Dork Mode can be enabled!

( - ) Sincere to the point of Far Too Serious
( - ) Occasional existential dread
( - ) What is 'fun' and how does one have it?
( - ) Sensitive and may deflate like a bad soufflé
( - ) Would be exceedingly self-critical if she made you a bad soufflé
( - ) Sometimes bordering on snobby
( - ) Likes puns

[solosection]

There are more pros than that, you know.

Declan Lynch | The Raven Cycle / Dreamer Trilogy

[madeofsecrets]

PROS	CONS
+ PERSONALIZED DATES	- LIMITED PERSONAL VULNERABILITY
+ WILL MAKE YOUR FAVORITE COFFEE BEVERAGE FOR YOU	- WITH GREATER THAN AVERAGE FREQUENCY, WILL DROP PLANS FOR FAMILY EMERGENCIES
+ EXCELLENT STORYTELLER	- TOPIC OF FAMILY OFF LIMITS
+ RESPECTS BOUNDARIES	- TOWNHOUSE RESEMBLED AIRBNB
+ GREAT FAKE BOYFRIEND	- TERRIBLE REAL BOYFRIEND

[impressionism]

+ nice car

- khakis
- keeps trying to date my sister

Jason Todd | Titans | ota

[theotherobin]

cons: asshole
pros: romantic asshole

[threeisapattern]

idk I haven't seen it.

Jyugo | Nanbaka | OTA

[jyugo]

CONS:

🚫 Worst handwriting in the world
🚫 Can't count above ten
🚫 Shit at sports
🚫 Clueless when it comes to recreational activities
🚫 Gloomy
🚫 Hesitant
🚫 Pessimistic
🚫 Zero enthusiasm
🚫 Thick-headed
🚫 Slow on his feet
🚫 No stamina
🚫 Poor talker
🚫 Poor liar
🚫 Smile leaves something to be desired
🚫 Stumpy legs

PROS:

✅ Don't even worry about losing your keys

[sweet_silence]

[The woman that comes up to him is much shorter than Jyugo even in her heels. She looks between the sign and him for a few moments.

She pulls out a cell-phone, writes on it and then holds it up so he can read it.]

That's a lot of cons, do you seriously have no other positives?

Sakura Matou | Fate/Stay Night

[ribbonry]

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐒
A good cook!
Understanding; you can do no wrong!
Remembers literally everything you like.
Doting— somewhat of a mother hen.
The heiress of a rich family.

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒
Overbearing! Has yandere tendencies.
Already hopelessly in love with someone.
Submissive; she can’t defend herself very well.
Either very emotional or emotionless.
Clingy.
Prone to jealousy.

[beautiful_carnivore]

NNNNNNNN! My humble self happens to find jealousy and possessiveness to be most enticing... And having desire for someone else is no problem either, I could be of service to help make them yours.

Asta Macauliffe | Hunter: the Vigil PC

[radioarchive]

Pros
- LA local and well-versed in cool spots in the city
- One-woman hype squad
- Will totally be ride-or-die if you want

Cons
- Not-so-minor chance of horrible death
- Social circle is a little weird and also maybe full of weirdos
- Sleep schedule is fucked up, and yours probably will be before too long

The Medicine Seller | Mononoke

[meds4sale]

Pros

Free healthcare

Good drugs

Smells nice

Patient

Honest about things that matter

Excellent cook

Excellent fashion sense

Survival skills

Easily entertained

Cons

Probably a little feral

Will eat your food

All the Mononoke

Married to his work

Actually likes living outside for whatever reason

Weird and uncanny

Almost definitely some kind of yokai

Delights in chaos

Has three whole facial expressions

[againstgod]

Mm.
Is the outdoors lifestyle judged so negatively?

John Constantine | DC Animated Movie Universe | OTA

[abracafuckingdabra]

Pros
-Won't cheat.
-Will cook for you.
-A homeowner.
-Up for pretty much anything as long as all parties can consent.

Cons
-You will probably die.
-That first one wasn't enough for you?
-Three pack a day minimum habit. Heavy drinker.
-Travels a lot for work. Not the fun kind of travel.
-Unstable income. Unstable lifestyle. Unstable in general.

[athermercy]

[ She eyeballs that first item in the cons list and frowns, but he's sincere. He wouldn't need to worry that much in the soft places, at least. ]

Where's the fashion sense?

Thirteenth Doctor | Doctor Who | ota

[dashofoutrage]

Pros:
- Gold stars and/or points !
- Frogs. I love frogs, who doesn’t love frogs? Frogs are fab.
- Can still rock a fez when need be
- All of time and space! Did I mention that yet? That should be top of the list, actually.
- Wait what do you mean this is a list for dating me

Cons:
- This is a list for dating me
- You shouldn’t do that, I really don’t recommend it
- Legs aren’t as long this time around, can’t reach top shelf in the pantry :(
- Lots of running. Normally I’d put this under pros, but this is a list for dating me so I’m putting it here.
- Frogs! I love frogs. Still love them, putting it here just to even things out.
- Near constant threat of dying horrible death. How horrible is that! Definitely a con.
- Seriously don’t try to date me, I wouldn’t even date me
- Points aren’t actually redeemable for anything

[doctoridiot]

Really? We're back on the fez thing? We never rocked the fez.

Mobius M. Mobius | Loki | OTA

[themstandsformobius]

Pros
- I have my own cubicle. Admittedly, it's kinda sparse right now but maybe that's something we can work on.
- Always keep a stack of magazines from the late 20th century on my desk and I'm happy to share.
- If you're having an existential crisis then I'm probably you're guy. Not that I'm claiming to be any kind of therapist but I can offer a certain... perspective on things.
- And coffee.
- I can travel through space and time... with permission from my superiors. If it's relevant to the mission at hand.
- Should I be adding a slave to authority to the pros or the cons?

Cons
- Currently stuck in a sort of... alternate dimension where time doesn't really exist. It's. It's complicated.
- Don't really have a life outside of my job and I'm okay with it.
- Which means you might not always be the priority. Sorry about that.
- Also, it's kinda against the rules for analysts to be dating anybody in the first place. So, there's that. Pretty sure the Timekeepers would have a thing or two to say about it.
- ... This isn't looking like a strong case for me, let's be honest.

[favoriteanalyst]

Wow. I mean, really, wow, you're making us sound so attractive right now. How could anyone resist?

wylie hargrave ( original )

[fretful]

PROS
- Technically wealthy
- Runs successful business
- Cooks, cleans
- Reasonably decent personality

CONS
- Wears a lot of flannel
- Will never be able to reach the tall shelves
- Literally can't leave home
- Cursed
- Work will always come first
- Has weirdly overprotective, scary family
- Skinwalker Ranch doesn't hold a candle to the Hargrave Hotel & Nature Reserve
- Will probably die messy
- You may be murdered by a possessive eldritch god
- ... If you aren't cursed to a fate worse than death first

[radioarchive]

Flannel is a bad thing now?! Nobody tell the Pacific Northwest, or we’re all doomed.

[A pause while Asta double-checks the list.] -Wait, you’re cursed and you put flannel ahead of that? Dude. Curses are way cooler than fashion sense.

Sadie Adler | RDR2 | M/F

[the_widow]

Pros

Strong capable woman

Self sufficient

Excellent shot

Great hand to hand combatant

Likes knives

Plays harmonica

Loyal

Good with kids and animals

Doesn't give up

Cons

Comes with baggage

Has vendetta that will possibly get her killed

Vendetta will surely get a whole lot of others killed

Hot tempered

Impulse control issues

Smokes

Drinks

Will resist help when offered

Likes to take the lead

Revenge SL

[americanvenom]

From where I'm standin', you missed a few pros, missus. Intelligent, wise, a good drinking buddy, great at trackin', good cook, passionate, pretty, and relative to me, you're down to earth.

But I'll admit, I may be biased.

jiang yanli | the untamed

[respectthesoup]

+ brings an alliance to a great cultivation sect and powerful family
+ will support you through anything
+ not a bad cook

- overprotective little brothers with hair-trigger tempers
- on-and-off arranged engagement sometimes in place
- plain-looking
- physically weak
- no golden core
- can't stand up for myself
- conflict avoidant
- too subservient
- easily ill

[ somehow this just becoming a list of everything her mother has ever yelled at her about... ]

[violetson]

You missed a couple hundred points on your first list.

And I don't think it should be considered your flaw that we -- I mean I care about you, ajie.

sigyn | norse mythology

[sigrvina]

Pros:
☑ Steadfast and loyal.
☑ Expert with magic and healing.
☑ Adequate fighting skills.
☑ Kind, patient, and sweet.
☑ Good with people.
☑ Sometimes can see the future.
☑ Excellent taste and manners.
☑ An excellent cook.
☑ Good at listening and comfort.
☑ Does not takes bullshit.

Cons:
☒ Some from her "family" are problematic.
☒ A bit of a rocky past, to say the least.
☒ For the love of the gods, don't piss her off.
☒ Will more than likely outlive you.
☒ Finds it difficult to create lasting and deep bonds.
☒ Formerly married.
☒ Sometimes can see the future.
☒ Comes and goes as she pleases.
☒ You Might end hurt, who knows.

[coldsong]

Good for you, Lady. You can definitely do better than me.


((I'm just going to assume they're from different universes to avoid complications, because MCU and myth don't actually meet up all that well, but please feel free to PM me if you want something else or just ignore completely if you're not into cross-canon weirdness.))

sukuna / jjk

[thousand]

pros:
— muscles
— seksi tattoos
— can fly (???)

cons:
— Sukuna

Booker DeWitt | Bioshock Infinite

[wastedpossibilities]

Pros
1. Good in a fight.

Cons
1. Everything else about me.

Re: Booker DeWitt | Bioshock Infinite

[havenomercy]

How good in a fight?

Dorian Pavus | Dragon Age Inquisition | M/M

[todobetter]

Pros.
1. Me, a brilliant and handsome mage.
2. Exceptional chess partner.
3. Fantastic sense of fashion.

Cons.
1. People will assume you are a blood mage.
2. My whole family is... a problem.
3. It's likely people won't approve.

[cryptsleeper]

You realize the second point on that list is going to be a fairly repetitive theme on lists like these, yes?

Regulus Black | Harry Potter | OTA

[royal_venant]

PROS:
+ Heir to a large fortune
+ Impecable fashion sense
+ The quiet one in his family
+ Excellent with house elves

CONS:
- Gestures to all of his opinions
- His family
- Makes poor choices
- Terrible emotional coping mechanisms
- Doesn't know a thing about anything outside the Wizarding world

[siriusno]

You forgot 'related to Sirius'. May be pro or con depending on your audience. Considering you'll both list your family as a con, assuming the specific mention is warranted.

Rose | Tales of Zestiria | m/f

[shivmeabreak]

Pros:
+ Cheerful and friendly, loves puns and fun
+ Skilled fighter / businesswoman
+ A never-ending fountain of questionable ideas
+ (Mostly) accepting of the supernatural
+ Will kill for you

Cons:
- Will kill you or others if warranted
- Equally lethal in the kitchen
- Can be blunt, demanding, and lacks patience
- Often shadowed by surly spirit guard dog
- Impulsive; goes off instinct more than intellect

Tenten || Naruto

[tenten_san]

- PROS -
→ ???
→ Deep and dark pools of honey brown mystery?
→ Literally probably has absolutely everything you will ever need, on hand


- CONS -
▬ Her batshit teammates...
▬ HER BATSHIT TEAMMATES.

jules | original | open

[captis]

Pros.
Never boring?

Cons.
Danger.
Supernatural shit.
Keeps you in the dark to keep you safe.
Always at risk.

[terrifies]

I've never found 'keeping you in the dark to keep you safe' a good tactic, really. Once you care about someone enough to lie to them for their own safety, you've already started down a terrible, error-and-murder-riddled road.