bakerstreet | playlisting

[ info and permissions in journal. ]

golden; harry styles ( x )
as I open my eyes / hold it, focus, hoping / take me back to the light / I know you were way too bright for me / I'm hopeless, broken.

this year's love; jasmine thompson ( x )
'cause it takes something more this time / than sweet, sweet lies oh now / before I open up my arms and fall / losing all control / every dream inside my soul.

tempest; ludwig van beethoven ( x )
this one is hard mode.

or bring your own!

( Chloe is mesmerised throughout his performance. From a technical standpoint, what humans can master through persistence and patience never fails to amaze her. The sheer skill involved is always to be admired.

What strikes her far more potently is the emotion. It flows from his fingers into the sounds that fill the space and melds with the soul she thinks she believes she could have in moments like this. More than once, she chokes up. However, the smile never leaves her face.

The moment she can catch up with him, she does. Her eyes shine with pride and the residual emotional power from his performance. Reaching for one of his hands, she holds it in both of her own. )

You're stunning, Elio. It isn't quite enough to say that it was beautiful, but it was. Thank you so much for inviting me. How was it for you?

[ He's told his manager to let her come see him in the green room afterwards and as they show her through the door, Elio straightens up from the couch he was otherwise slouching in, because he's usually the collapsing type. Quickly, he gets to his feet and meets Chloe halfway through the room. She takes his hand in both hers and his heart soars a little bit at the feeling of her grip, that special way you can fly when you're high from both adrenaline and emotions.

He raises her hands to his face and presses a kiss to her knuckles. It's not a particularly romantic gesture, but it's soft. Because he's soft for her. ]

Thank you. [ A pause. ] I'm not the kind of pianist who hates his performances afterwards, but I rarely love them either. This one? I loved, but I don't think it was actually due to my playing.

[ His hand sinks a bit, taking hers with it. He likes this point of connect between them. ]

( The kiss makes her blush, bringing a rise of pink with a tinge of blue underneath to her cheeks. Instinctively she ducks her head to hide both the unique colouration and the expression itself. A long-standing habit. Though she doesn't pull her hands away.

When she does look back up at him, she's perplexed. )

How could you not love them? You're wonderful.

( She's prone to gushing. A quality some find irksome and far too much. While those reactions should have perhaps reined her in a long time ago, Chloe still holds the thought that it's better to risk seeming overly saccharine than someone go unappreciated.

Then she catches the implication of what he's said, and gives his hand a squeeze. )

I'm glad to hear it. I think there are many things to love about this one.

You were there, that's the main reason.

[ He squeezes her hands back, before somewhat reluctantly releasing them. He did get a glimpse of her blush and found it completely endearing, the way it speaks of her nature in multiple ways and he smiles at her now with the soft line to his lips that he reserves only for people very dear to him. Beethoven is one of his favorites, no doubt, but the greatest pleasure lies in performing what he loves for those he loves, he's always felt that way which is maybe why he doesn't do recitals all that often.

Tonight, Chloe was really the only one he played for. Her gushing even makes him feel like he ensured her an experience, when he knows he's no Barenboim or Kissin. Looking at her, he thinks maybe that's all the better, for her. Maybe she prefers him to be Elio.

Around her, he prefers to be Elio, too. ]

I only ever feel truly harmonious at the piano, ironically. [ He grabs his suit jacket from the couch and shrugs it on. ] Could you hear that?

( She was there, that was the main reason.

Those sorts of sentiments still take some getting used to. In the past, her presence has often been important. Only it's never really been her presence as just Chloe that has mattered. The value laid in being RT600, the first, the android who played the imitation game and won.

If there are words to describe how thankful she is, how moved she is to be seen as herself, she hasn't found them yet. But these sentiments of hers are reflected in her smile.

There's a simple answer to his question - yes. She gives it more consideration than that. It's only fitting. )

Hearing you play is like hearing a conversation between two old and dear friends. You have your own flow, your own lilts, an understanding of each other. It could make the audience feel like an interloper but it isn't like that at all. You make it so we feel harmonious with the music, and with you.

I'm glad.

[ And he is. Truly glad, happy. He's happy that he for once managed to deliver a performance not shrouded in nerves and self-doubts. He's just as glad that the reason for it is right here and willing to put herself on display with him. He's glad that Chloe was there to hear it, and that she once again proves to be so much more than anyone else might have expected of her. He knows she doubts whether she has a soul, but these things are self-realizations, in Elio's world. If you feel soulful, it's because there's a soul there, and he thinks she has soul in spades. He'll tell her one day. Not right now, but some day.

When he knows where they stand, when it isn't all so new and fresh. Because, unlike most of Elio's dates, he thinks this one could actually take him to such a point. That, too, is self-realization, he knows. It's because he wants it enough. Her. ]

I'm probably just imagining this, because normally I can't feel a thing except how much my muscles work when I play, but I could feel your eyes on me. Yours, specifically. Not everyone else's. [ A slight laugh and he walks over to the door, opening it and nodding at the hallway, an invitation for her to go first. ] They say, looks can kill, but they can caress, too. Thank you for touching me.

Maybe I thought about it a little too much.

( Said with an often seen edge of self-consciousness. Understanding and accepting as Elio is of her, she has an awareness of teetering on the trite and just plain ridiculous. But deep down, she knows she would be more afraid of losing that trait than of anyone's reaction to it. Overreaching as her thought processes may sometimes seem to others, they serve as proof for her. She can contemplate matters beyond a shallow surface.

In this respect, Elio's own turn of phrase is an immense comfort. Company that both stimulates and soothes. This particular choice of words makes her take pause. The singling out as being special in some personal, private way has her just look at him for a beat or two.

Then she does as indicated and steps through the door. She doesn't go too far ahead, and looks to him still. )

You don't have to thank me. If you felt encouraged by my presence... Well. That means a lot to me. I wish I could say I'd been able to see how you captivated everyone but, to be honest, I forgot they were there.

If you ask me, we both think about these things just enough.

[ He follows her the few steps she's taken down the hallway, keeping her attention on him, staying within reach and he likes that, he likes that she isn't going anywhere. Elio's had enough lovers who were strayers. Not that Chloe's one of his lovers, but she is something incredibly special and it feels almost illogical not to bunch her together with the rest of them, the people who have been important to him, through their bodies, their minds and their souls.

Smiling, a bit wider now, because she's complimenting him in just the right way, that indirect manner of hers that doesn't make his barriers go up or his insecurities act up either - and part of him wants to tell her, he didn't notice anyone else, too, like a stupid joke between them, but he doesn't say that. Instead he comes to a halt next to her and turns his face to look at her. They're standing close enough that their sides might brush, if he stepped one more step to the side. He swallows.

Still, his voice doesn't show any nerves at all, just a calm steadiness. ]

Would you mind if I put my arm around your waist while we walk? I try not to presume what you'd be comfortable with.

( It's so easy to be with you.

The thought drifts into Chloe's mind like a gentle breeze. Even if some of what he says is merely a kindness, it's still a kindness he's willing to extend. Her sharing is met with respect. It gets a warm smile in which her respect for him is echoed.

She doesn't have the poker face he does. The request makes her eyes widen, just for a second. Not in shock at audacity and presumption but the sheer surprise of the offer being made at all. She had stood for many years by someone's side. Never once was it with an arm around her. Not unless it was for the sake of publicity. To show off. To declare ownership of the thing he had created.

To answer his question, she slides an arm around his waist. )

If it wouldn't be too awkward to walk holding each other like this?

[ He shakes his head at her words. ]

You're the right height.

[ It's really as simple as that as he slips his arm around her waist too and lets her feel how they kind of slide together like two jigsaw puzzle pieces. Elio has walked with very tall men this way and very short women and true, sometimes there are some little fitting things together issues to consider, always having to keep in sync and adjust strides, but with Chloe, he soon discovers, taking a few steps forward, it's not an issue at all.

They fit together. But of course he knew that already.

If she is referring to any embarrassment, he isn't feeling any and if she does, he hopes his reassurance helps her. He wants her to enjoy his company. It's not many people he really wants to give everything, but she's one of them. There's no embarrassment in that. There never was, not even with Oliver. ]

Awkward?

[ He asks in a soft voice. ]

Oh. You know. Logistically.

( Now that sounds awkward. Chloe knows she assess his gait, his tempo and match herself accordingly. So really, it isn't so much a matter of logistics, even if she'd intended the question to be one.

Maybe it's little more than a compulsive need to check. To ensure there are no missteps, literally or otherwise. That she hasn't let her own ideas, her hopes, her wishes, override objective reality.

For all the turning her thoughts around in her mind like a Rubik's Cube, one of the more obvious implications doesn't present itself immediately. Because she doesn't feel embarrassed. She doesn't see embarrassment in him. With the realisation, she's quick to offer reassurances. )

I don't find it awkward. It's lovely that you would ask. I'm not... I'm comfortable with you, Elio.

( She looks up at him to catch his eyes, making some silent apology for how strange she must seem at times. Out of step with herself and the rest of the world.

Not that he ever seems to want or expect her to be anything other than what she might be in the moment. )

[ He catches her eyes in turn, falling into step next to her and kind of meeting the slightly clumsy bump of her hip on every second step with a warm acceptance. It's how it is, some of the most beautiful things there are... Well, they're nervous and, like she said, awkward and that's okay. Sometimes they're more perfect for their imperfections. He thinks Chloe will learn that with him, he's by far perfect and together, maybe they can find an understanding in that.

He tightens his hold on her for a second, leaning in and kissing her temple, easiest part to reach from this angle. They continue down the hallway and on the other side awaits the street, the restaurant, maybe his apartment last, who knows.

He doesn't and he doesn't mind. He wants to go on this journey with her, even blind. ]

Remember to thank yourself, too. [ A smile, carefree. He could be seventeen again. ] It's something we create together.

( It's silly to feel giddy. She knows this. It's reminiscent of being a girl she never was. Or perhaps someone she used to be, a long time ago. Only now it's truly genuine instead of a product of programming. Real as those feelings seemed at the time, there's an unnameable difference in their quality. They didn't seep into her in the same way.

It's funny what a hold and a little kiss can do. Gestures that bring an unmistakeable smile to her lips.

Being the other, Chloe's held the sense that humans have an innate knowledge of how to conduct themselves in these circumstances. An understanding stemming from the heart she would always be trying to play catch-up with. While she wouldn't say it, as it may sound as though she's implying some ineptitude on his part, it now feels as though they're learning together. She isn't left behind, separated by the rift of the organic and the not.

All humans are different. All beings are different. And so each relationship, romantic or not, is different.

Rifts may exist, but bridges can be built across them. )

I like this smile, you know. I like all your smiles, of course, but this one especially.

( Said as they exit and find the street, as though the transition from one space to another may make the compliment easier to take. Prone to doling them out in spades, she tries to balance her own need to give with his personality.

They can learn, together. )

And speaking of creating, I have a question for you. Well, more of a wonderance, really. Do you ever have someone sing while you play?

01 ◼ SEVEN NATION ARMY a seven nation army couldn't hold me back
02 ◼ THE INVERSION don't think too hard, thought's in short supply
03 ◼ IRON the sound of iron shocks is stuck in my head
04 ◼ WAKE UP when the reaper he reaches and touches my hand
05 ◼ WOLF LIKE ME we've got till noon, here comes the moon

( They could both be accused of spending far too much time in their own heads. As far as Chloe's concerned, it's understandable. There are things that cannot just be shaken off or smiled away. There are things that may always linger.

Talking helps. Being listened to helps. Or she hopes the same rings true for him, anyway. Cathartic as it all can be, sometimes getting away from thought and language and the demands of both can be cathartic, too.

That very thought prompted her to invite him over with the vague instruction to wear clothes he doesn't mind getting dirty.

When he arrives, she greets him with a smile. Her living room playing host to an easel, already set up with a canvas, and a trolley laden with pots of paint and brushes gives away some of her intentions. )

I'm sorry for being cryptic but I wanted to surprise you. Well, share something with you, actually. You'll humour me for a little while?

01. Rule the World, Kamelot
02. The Human Stain, Kamelot
03. Mad World, Gary Jules

risingson / massive attack
every time we grind you know we sever lines / where have those flowers gone?
long time passing / why you keep it testing, keep on tasking?
i keep on asking

star shell / nell
these people who are all talk / their noisy chattering away is their business
so what if they hate on you? / you're the dream chaser
raise your flag

black black heart / david usher
something ugly this way comes / through my fingers sliding inside
all these blessings all these burns / i'm godless underneath your cover
search for pleasure search for pain / in this world now, i am undying

inside you / luna sea
let's hoist our dreams high / you and me for eternity
i want to lock up your future alone / for eternity
now just keep watching me / because i won't let you go

wizard / janne da arc
close your eyes... / "that stupid bastard, i've become worried about him..."
smile... brush your hair back and kiss him
afterward, if you choose to cry / i can't relate to that
your ways of deceit are only for fools ♥

[ pick a song below, something different from one of her playlists, or bring your own. canon, cross canon, AUs, timeline shenanigans all welcome. ]

So no longer will I lay down
Lay dead
Play your doe in the headlights locked down and terrified
Your deer in the headlights shot down and horrified
When push comes to pull comes to shove
Comes to step around this self-destructing dance that
Never would've ended till I rose
I roared aloud here
I will, I am
ROSE ♫ A PERFECT CIRCLE

All I need's somewhere to catch my breath, rest my head and ease my mind
I've been holding on
But my grip ain't what it used to be
I'm much older, I'm bitter, I'm jaded, I'm lost
Can somebody give me a sign?
VULTURES ♫ ASKING ALEXANDRIA

I know life is a journey
But you gave up on me early
Tell me - why were you in such a hurry?
I don't know, I don't know
ECHO ♫ STARSET

Smoke was coming off my jacket and you didn't seem to mind
I left a long trail of ashes, and you said "I like your style"
Now heartbreak ain't a competition, but I took it in a landslide
The skeletons I wanted to bury, you liked out in the light

You didn't save me; You didn't think I needed saving
You didn't change me; You didn't think I needed changing
My wings are frayed and what's left of my halo's black
Lucky for me your kind of heaven's been to hell and back
TO HELL & BACK ♫ MAREN MORRIS

playlisting

elio perlman | call me by your name / find me | ota

tempest

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james buchanan barnes | mcu

iron

Erik Lehnsherr | XMCU

Min Seunwoo - Antique - M/M for shipping, OTA for gen.

Kylo Ren/Brianna Solo • r63!Star Wars • ota