midnight textings

[cherrytrees]

The Midnight Texting Meme It's the middle of the night and you're trying to catch some z's — or brooding alone in the alleys, as one does — when your phone dings and suddenly a stranger or a friend is texting you. What could they possibly want at this hour? Is it important? Stupid? Are they drunk or maybe just needy? Do they need help hiding a body??? Pick up your phone and find out! Rules: ● Post with your character's name and canon on the subject line, indicate preferences as needed ● Tag others ● Have fun!

Comments

[nightslut]

My dearest Nadja,

You know me-- indeed I never could resist a hole.

I wouldn't dream of merely suggesting it, my darling. We're already surrounded by cameras all the bloody time, I'm certain one of these crewmen would happily assist us with the filming.

It had been my understanding, yes, because when you take a look at the site of his webbed pages he's included a charming little drawing of himself in a butler costume, so if he's not even willing to buttle for us then I find that very misleading.

Most intimately yours,
Laszlo

[vilf]

anything you can stick it in i imagine
and i can imagine a great deal of places
including this wet ass pussy you speak of

laszlo do you really think they are prepared to witness the majesty that is our lovemaking
lesser men have fainted dead away at the sight of our carnal delights and i would really prefer not to have to tolerate a whole new crew of mortals prying into our important business
but i must confess i am curious about it
i imagine we would look very naughty

well it is bloody false advertising at best
if he is not prepared to butle to the fullest extent then that will simply not be tolerated

[nightslut]

To she who completes me,

Oh, yes, any place it can fit inside, really. Sometimes even places it won't, although in retrospect I'm much less enthusiastic about those experiences.

None, however, can ever begin holding a candle to my lady love's wet ass pussy. Easily one of my very favourite holes.

I suppose you do make an excellent point, my dove. The only problem is, as I'm sure you remember from our aborted attempts at filming that Real Housewives audition tape, I'm rather all thumbs when it comes to wielding a camcorder, but I think I may have the answer: what I'll do is send one of the more particularly impressive duos an electronic mail asking them their exact process. After all, surely they'll be jumping at the chance to respond to such an unsolicited inquiry by sharing some of their expertise.

And I can assure you, my firm little peach, that we would look more than just very naughty. In fact, we would look so absolutely, gorgeously majestic that I could only hope all of our subsequent sexual intercourse would find a way to improve on perfection itself.

I'll take care of it, my darling, I promise you. As we speak I'm composing a very strongly worded E-Mail expressing our exact concerns with the nature of Jeeves's service.

Your eternal soulmate,
Laszlo

[vilf]

i do seem to recall you being rather insistent about trying it in the ear once

laszlo when you say such stirring things to me it makes me want to be wild

but i do not seem to recall you being such a prolific letter writer
first the butler and now these other couples
electronic mail has allowed for rather instant communication
though i do miss the days where you would dip your quill in ink and scribble love sonnets to me directly onto my body after a ferocious ten rounds of intercourse
or were they dirty limericks
and i believe the quill may have been your penis

how strongly worded, my darling question mark
you know i love it when you are so aggressive and forceful

[nightslut]

To the light of my eternal life in darkness,

That was just the one time and you damn well know it. How was I to know the inner ear is actually built like a fucking labyrinth?

It is true that the lion's share of my letter writing days had well been put behind me by the time you appeared at my window on that fateful night, but now I must confess something to you, my darling, that before now I've never shared with anyone.

For you see, I never could quite kick the habit entirely: not long after our nuptials I in fact I still did quite often write letters, and a great many of them strongly worded ones at that, in order that I could express at length to the local periodicals my precise thoughts about whichever opera or stage performance I'd most recently attended. Now, if memory serves me I'd say this would have been more or less weekly, back during the brief age when letter writing was considered more of a woman's game- you and I had still only been married half a century or so at this point, so of course it felt much too soon to share with you my shameful, clandestine role in our small but vibrant, and yes, almost entirely female, theatre critic community.

While I would eventually wash my hands of that whole scene to instead move onto the more glamorous pursuit of poetry and song writing, I can't deny that the revelation which is Electronic Mail has pulled me right back in. The whole thing is quite deceptively brilliant, really, and what it crucially lacks in the way of romance is still more than made up for in sheer efficiency. I mean my God, how far we've come from the days it might take up to 4 days at the minimum before we could even hope to receive any mail because for some ungodly stupid reason the Western United States decided delivering it on the back of a horse made even a remote lick of sense.

Though I do wish that I'd known sooner how much you missed my love sonnets. Now, admittedly I have been plagued by writer's block for the past four or five decades, but you should know by now you need only ever speak the words and I'd start writing you a thousand more. No, in fact, let's call it an even two thousand, half by quill and half by cock.

Because for you, my beloved darling, I'll even write Jeeves a letter in all capital letters so that it appears as if I'm shouting if that's what it takes. What he needs to understand is that we mean business, and by thunder I'm just the man to educate him.

Forever your baby,
Laszlo

[vilf]

well you can certainly say you have tried bloody near everything at this point
your appetite for uncharted sexual territory is unparalleled my furry beast

in all the years that we have been married and you still find ways to surprise me
though i should not be surprised that these writing ventures of yours involved criticism of some kind since you have never shied away from sharing your true opinion on any topic

why don't we just go hunting tonight like old times for i have been so busy with important vampiric council affairs that i have longed to give into my basest urges both as a creature of the night and as a woman with desires
and you do become utterly insatiable after you have fed on an unsuspecting dog-walker

[nightslut]

My magnificent flower garden,

I won't take all the credit, my darling- you know that I couldn't have done it without you. Not even close. You may find this difficult to believe, but back in the days before I was a vampire England could actually be rather prudish at times.

So until death do us part indeed. And we sure as hell know that won't ever be happening.

It is a shame that I never kept some of those old letters, although I suspect, also for the best. My skill level back then was nowhere close to the quality I'm capable of now.

[ The real reason, actually, is probably because back then he and Nadja didn't always 100% see eye-to-eye, opinion and taste-wise, about these things, and he's... not always a complete idiot... ]

We are rather overdue for a proper date night together, aren't we? Just we two. I look forward to it.

Thinking of you most obscenely,
Laszlo

[vilf]

so you're saying i was a rather naughty influence on you
well i am certainly happy to take credit for debauching you so thoroughly
it led to many centuries of fun for us did it not question mark

it does help that we are the vampiric council now
it is much more difficult for them to send their assassins after us when they are we

that is true
you have had much more time to perfect your titillating prose
and i cannot wait for your next burst of inspiration

yes let's go out tonight laszlo please
i want to walk with you in the moonlight and drink the blood of innocents
and then do some not so innocent things in our bed afterward