bakerstreet | penny for your t h o u g h t s

Jason's quiet as he considers Tim's offer. It's not as though they've had heart-to-heart talks before. Nor was Jason prone to having them with anyone these days. He was alone. Most of the time that didn't bother him. Being alone was better for him. Tonight though, was a little different. Maybe he needed someone else's perspective to get out of his own head.

"Have you ever thought about how different your life would've been if you hadn't met him? Batman, I mean."

Oh, Tim knew that Jason's answer wasn't likely to be one that resulted in light and fun conversation but this was still heavier than he was mentally prepared for. Still, it's not a hard answer to come to,

"Yeah, plenty of times," The next part is not as easy though, "But there were a lot of um... complicated circumstances that resulting in me... meeting him."

They're not really talking about meeting Bruce though. They're talking about becoming Robin.

Edited 2021-09-10 14:49 (UTC)

Jason lets out a short laugh. He knows what circumstances Tim's talking about, or at least some of them.

"Including how I was murdered you mean," he says with an almost casual tone. There was really no use pussyfooting around that event, especially not while the formerly departed was right here. "Yeah, that had a hell of a domino effect."

"I would argue that's not really the first domino to fall," Tim cringes visibly at his own wording. If he had not been there the night of the Flying Grayson's accident he wonders if he would have ever figured out Batman's identity.

"What has you thinking on that tonight?" Let's not dwell too long on how Jason's death affected Tim's life so greatly.

Edited (lots of typos and wrong words tonight. sorry) 2021-09-10 15:54 (UTC)

There's another pause as Jason considers how honest he should be about this. He really isn't used to having these kinds of talks.

"Next week's the anniversary of when I became Robin," he says.

Jason knows Tim's damn smart. He probably was going to figure it out on his own anyway. Bruce was probably going to be extra broody as the day got closer. Jason might as well put it out in the open for the current Robin.

"Oh," it's such an inadequate response to the news but it's all Tim has for a moment.

What do you say to what Jason must be thinking; asking if he regretted being Robin seems a stupid question. He can already picture the look that questions his intelligence if he chose to vocalise it.

He moves to sit down on the ledge of the rooftop, still keeping a distance between them but at least joining Jason on the same level.

"Do you remember what you were thinking on that day?"

"Heh. Yeah. Don't we all remember when we first wore the suit?"

Jason takes off his helmet and sets it beside him as a way to show he really isn't in the mood to fight his so-called family tonight. There were too many things on his mind.

"I was thinking it was the best day of my life."

Well, yeah Tim definitely remembers his first outing as Robin but everyone is different. He wonders if Dick thinks of it as the same or whether Damian thinks of his first outing to be when he stole the suit or when Dick gave it to him?

He hesitates before asking, "And now? what do you think of it now?"

There's a short pause as Jason considers his answer. Most of the time he tries not to dwell too hard on the what ifs. But there were just certain times when he couldn't help but ruminate.

"I still think of it as life changing. I don't think there was a better option for me at the time."

"So you don't think you'd have chosen something different for yourself?" Tim is quick to try and clarify as he realises it could be mistaken for asking if Jason would have chosen to die again.

"I mean- not that you wouldn't change anything but would you still choose to go with Bruce. Would you still choose Robin?"

A corner of Jason's lip makes a twitch. Now that's something he has thought about before.

"Yeah. It was either that I keep being a homeless orphan living in crime alley. There's no way I would've been better off on my own like that."

Admittedly it would take a lot to talk to convince a homeless kid that living with Bruce Wayne wasn't some kind of step-up in life.

"Yeah but that's choosing to stay with Bruce, that's different than choosing to be Robin."

Tim was right of course. Batman's world was not the same as Bruce Wayne's world.

"I still would've chose to be Robin. I did it for the same kind of reasons you and Dick chose to be Robin. I wanted to help and make a difference somehow. Don't know about the little demon but I'm guessing it's something similar."

Tim's next words will come out in a grumble, not really said for Jason's hearing, "I think you're giving the demon too much credit there."

"So even now? You don't think things would really have played out any different? Do you think if you went back you could convince yourself not to?" Tim didn't know Jason back then, he barely knows Jason now but somehow he didn't seem like the type of kid you could tell to not do things.

Jason lets out a short laugh.

"Ha! I wouldn't have believed myself. You're talking to the kid who not only tried to steal the Batmobile's tires but took a swing at Batman twice after getting caught."

"I would have loved to get a photograph of that moment. I can't imagine what Bruce was thinking right then," Tim can't help but smile at the mental image. There were dozen of full-grown men who would run at the first sign of Batman and there was a kid just deciding to take a swing.

Jason smirks. Even if his memories of that day were more bittersweet than happy now, those two moments still amused him.

"Probably was thinking who the hell this little shit was. The first hit was with a tire iron right after he caught me. It actually stunned him long enough for me to run. The second swing was after he followed me back to the condemned building I was sleeping in."

Tim looks like he's hanging on every word now, deeply invested in hearing more. Bruce had never been verbose and asking about Jason was the equivalent to poking at an open wound. To actually hear how Bruce and Jason had met beyond the bare bones from Alfred was a rare chance.

"What were you thinking at the time. I mean, you took a swing at Batman when caught but to have him literally follow you home?"

Jason sees how interested Tim is in hearing the whole story. He's not surprised his successor hadn't been told all of the details. Jason knows he's the black sheep of the family now and he would be sensitive topic to talk about.

"Honestly? I wasn't thinking much. I figured he was going to throw me to the cops or child welfare. So I wanted to show I wasn't gonna go down quietly."

Edited 2021-09-11 05:42 (UTC)

"And you really thought you were going to get away with that? from the Batman?" It's said with a little bit of a laugh behind it. Jason would have had no chance. Bruce was never going to leave him there by himself.

"It would have been easier to get away from the cops or child welfare afterwards."

Jason chuckles. He long knew how ridiculous that thinking was.

"Desperate times called for desperate measures. Keep in mind I already didn't trust any authorities, him included."

"What changed your mind?" He could point out that Jason still had a problem with authority and whatever change of mind he might have had towards Bruce it has since changed again.

"You could have chosen a car that wasn't the Batmobile?"

"I was hungry and it was too tempting to pass up when I saw the Batmobile. I knew just one of those tires would get me at least a couple of hundred bucks," Jason says.

He had always accepted that part of the story as simple fact but thinking about it now, he could have done things differently then. Like taking just one of the tires instead trying for all four.

"As for what changed my mind, it was easy. He didn't turn me over. I made it clear I didn't want cops or child welfare so he tried to offer an alternative. Next time you use the Bat-Computer, look up Ma Gunn."

"Faye Gunn, former owner of Ma Gunn's School for Wayward Boys," Tim recites from memory. Just because Jason's file doesn't have all the details of what both Bruce and Jason were thinking on their meeting it still has the bare bones.

And of course, Tim has read them. Got rather familiar with Jason's files when he first started training to be Robin.

"Could have ended a lot worse though, if it hadn't been Bruce but another unsavoury adult." He doesn't want to sound like he's giving a decade too late lecture on Stranger Danger but it does come out a little like that.

Jason smirks when Tim recites. Ever the good Robin to know case files.

"I know. Hope's rare when you live in Crime Alley. And as far as a kid like me was concerned, most of the adults weren't worth the trouble. At the time, I thought Batman was different."

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