cuemusic (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cuemusic) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2021-05-15 04:25 pm
cuemusic) wrote in bakerstreet2021-05-15 04:25 pm
Entry tags:
1. big fire big fire big fire BIG FIRE
2. If you come home and there is a really big tree growing out of it, it wasn't me.
3. I want a theme song. I need something to hum when I'm punching bad guys in the nuts.
4. I was either bitten by a vampire and passed out or I had really bad aim with my chopsticks and passed out. Either way, not good.
5. i have a bag of jewels
6. or text him.
2. If you come home and there is a really big tree growing out of it, it wasn't me.
3. I want a theme song. I need something to hum when I'm punching bad guys in the nuts.
4. I was either bitten by a vampire and passed out or I had really bad aim with my chopsticks and passed out. Either way, not good.
5. i have a bag of jewels
6. or text him.
1: This is me politely asking you to slam me against the wall and make out with me.
2: I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
3: I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my sheets and hitting my knee when a siren went off. It was a false alarm, btw.
4: the medic just looked at me like "you again?"
5: so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
6: [bring your own text]
2: I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
3: I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my sheets and hitting my knee when a siren went off. It was a false alarm, btw.
4: the medic just looked at me like "you again?"
5: so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
6: [bring your own text]
1: You gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp. No complaints here.
2: i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
3: you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on
4: dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
5: friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
6: [bring your own text]
2: i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
3: you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on
4: dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
5: friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
6: [bring your own text]
1: You built me a pillow fort. Of course you got laid.
2: Are you doing that thing where you're convinced that I've made a terrible decision?
3: Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
4: good news. according to the doctor, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
5: You sent me a text saying, "I thought my intentions were clear". Clearly not, 'cause I'm still a little in the dark ???
6: [bring your own text]
2: Are you doing that thing where you're convinced that I've made a terrible decision?
3: Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
4: good news. according to the doctor, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
5: You sent me a text saying, "I thought my intentions were clear". Clearly not, 'cause I'm still a little in the dark ???
6: [bring your own text]
1: Bored with what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 30 years of having a body.
2: But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
3: I don’t know how to sext. What are the rules? What do you say? How far is too far?
4: Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the 'fresher floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
5: Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you've got an hour, I'd be far more creative.
6: [bring your own text]
2: But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
3: I don’t know how to sext. What are the rules? What do you say? How far is too far?
4: Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the 'fresher floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
5: Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you've got an hour, I'd be far more creative.
6: [bring your own text]
1. If it hatches while you're there, it's going to imprint on you, so please hurry if you're not ready for parenthood.
2. Everything in the field guides says this species isn't hallucinogenic, but with the way your friend is acting, I'd say they need to be updated.
3. Just because I CAN technically perform minor surgery without killing you doesn't mean I SHOULD. I'm a herpetologist, not a field surgeon.
4. Can I call you? It's hard to text in this crawlspace.
5. Prompt him.
2. Everything in the field guides says this species isn't hallucinogenic, but with the way your friend is acting, I'd say they need to be updated.
3. Just because I CAN technically perform minor surgery without killing you doesn't mean I SHOULD. I'm a herpetologist, not a field surgeon.
4. Can I call you? It's hard to text in this crawlspace.
5. Prompt him.
01. I crashed a wedding. I might have blended in long enough to get out unnoticed, but I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood. What happened to the curtain?
02. I hate it when anyone buys me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
03. I need to beat up a magician now. BRB. [ a curse user, of course. ]
04. [ First, a message that contains only this photo. Then, within the minute: ] Please disregard. You were not the intended recipient.
05. Wash that outfit ASAP. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
06. [ Text him! Misfires welcome by me, if not him. ]
02. I hate it when anyone buys me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
03. I need to beat up a magician now. BRB. [ a curse user, of course. ]
04. [ First, a message that contains only this photo. Then, within the minute: ] Please disregard. You were not the intended recipient.
05. Wash that outfit ASAP. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
06. [ Text him! Misfires welcome by me, if not him. ]
[ sighing from here. ]
[ Of course, Nanami immediately regrets telling Gojou to call him. A muscle tenses visibly in his jaw, suggestive of his grit teeth.
He just resists using his phone's front camera to check his hair. His first priority after getting away from the party had been to ask Ijichi about the curtain, not try to tidy himself, which given his condition, would have been a somewhat futile effort before a shower.
It's easier to resist looking around. Gojou must be close if he can identify something in his hair, but it doesn't really matter. ]
Whether or not you like what's in my hair isn't an important contribution, Gojou-san.
[ Of course, Nanami immediately regrets telling Gojou to call him. A muscle tenses visibly in his jaw, suggestive of his grit teeth.
He just resists using his phone's front camera to check his hair. His first priority after getting away from the party had been to ask Ijichi about the curtain, not try to tidy himself, which given his condition, would have been a somewhat futile effort before a shower.
It's easier to resist looking around. Gojou must be close if he can identify something in his hair, but it doesn't really matter. ]
Whether or not you like what's in my hair isn't an important contribution, Gojou-san.
1: I want you bad. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
2: People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
3: How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
4: On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
5: Worst wingman ever. You didn't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompetent shyness
6: [bring your own text]
2: People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
3: How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
4: On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
5: Worst wingman ever. You didn't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompetent shyness
6: [bring your own text]
1. Sometimes you meet someone and you know from the first moment that you want to spend your whole life without them.
2. I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
3. i want to go somewhere, i guess. i just don't want to put on pants or behave.
4. Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
5. or text him!
2. I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
3. i want to go somewhere, i guess. i just don't want to put on pants or behave.
4. Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
5. or text him!
Edited 2021-05-15 22:01 (UTC)
1: But in all honesty, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
2: As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
3: I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
4: I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
5: I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
6: [bring your own text]
2: As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
3: I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
4: I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
5: I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
6: [bring your own text]
Thinking about a second honeymoon?
1. That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
2. If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
3. The best walk of shames are on the highway
4. wildcard
1. That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
2. If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
3. The best walk of shames are on the highway
4. wildcard
from here
I want to tell you that as an agent I keep that clean, because that's what I should do, but honestly, come over with wine some time and we can laugh about it together.
I want to tell you that as an agent I keep that clean, because that's what I should do, but honestly, come over with wine some time and we can laugh about it together.
1. I still maintain that that wasn’t my fault, strictly speaking.
2. Yes you got stitches, but look on the bright side; at least you only needed five.
3. 'You have great lift technique', aka your last words to me before passing out in my arms like a fainting damsel.
4. Trust me, you’ve got the wrong number.
5. Absolutely not, no!
6. I don't recall using those exact words...
7. [ Wildcard! ]
2. Yes you got stitches, but look on the bright side; at least you only needed five.
3. 'You have great lift technique', aka your last words to me before passing out in my arms like a fainting damsel.
4. Trust me, you’ve got the wrong number.
5. Absolutely not, no!
6. I don't recall using those exact words...
7. [ Wildcard! ]
Alucard | Castlevania | s4 spoilers fine, just mark accordingly!
cryptsleeper
2021-05-15 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
1. What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
2. My house exploded. Again.
3. These kind of text worry me.
4. You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé."
5. Text/mirror message him
Note: I am s4 spoiler friendly, just mark threads accordingly
2. My house exploded. Again.
3. These kind of text worry me.
4. You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé."
5. Text/mirror message him
Note: I am s4 spoiler friendly, just mark threads accordingly
Re: Alucard | Castlevania | s4 spoilers fine, just mark accordingly!
cryptsleeper
2021-05-15 11:34 pm (UTC)(link)
1. All I need right now is a large cup of tea and an early death, and not necessarily in that order.
2. Yeah I fractured his wrist, we've established that - what's your point.
3. If I have to put actual clothes on, I'm not interested.
4. He had nothing but a bottle of washing up liquid in his shower - of course I fucking left.
5. What the fuck did you think was going to happen?
6. Not my fault you're a fucking muppet, mate - jog on.
7. You stole a WHAT
8.「 byo; misfires & assumed cr both welcome. 」
2. Yeah I fractured his wrist, we've established that - what's your point.
3. If I have to put actual clothes on, I'm not interested.
4. He had nothing but a bottle of washing up liquid in his shower - of course I fucking left.
5. What the fuck did you think was going to happen?
6. Not my fault you're a fucking muppet, mate - jog on.
7. You stole a WHAT
8.「 byo; misfires & assumed cr both welcome. 」
[Current with the D+ shows. Misfires fine, but 18+ if you're replying to the spicy one.]
a. I just chugged a literal gallon of iced coffee.
b. He brought me a cinnamon roll. Without me asking. Is this love?
c. You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Asgardian ale." WTF?
d. I really need you to know how much I enjoy seeing you naked.
e. Or text Carol!
a. I just chugged a literal gallon of iced coffee.
b. He brought me a cinnamon roll. Without me asking. Is this love?
c. You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Asgardian ale." WTF?
d. I really need you to know how much I enjoy seeing you naked.
e. Or text Carol!
[continued from here]
I'm partial to the blue. Do you think the Sacred Reznor is going to grow any bigger?
I'm partial to the blue. Do you think the Sacred Reznor is going to grow any bigger?
Edited 2021-05-15 23:45 (UTC)
1. maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. the neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
2. when you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
3. well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me.
4. he flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. if we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
5. ( text her instead )
2. when you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
3. well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me.
4. he flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. if we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
5. ( text her instead )
1. gonna sleep on the stairs... too drunk to keep going up, way too drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... it's safer that way
2. i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
3. video games take priority over anything else you can offer me
4. is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today was from years of playing pokemon?
5 ( text her instead )
2. i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
3. video games take priority over anything else you can offer me
4. is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today was from years of playing pokemon?
5 ( text her instead )
i'm not dumb! don't be mean, suzumiya-kun
1. You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
2. It's done, I'm done. Goodbye veneer of class and dignity, it was nice knowing you.
3. Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it to lessons with me in my pocket?
4. FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
5. ( text her instead )
2. It's done, I'm done. Goodbye veneer of class and dignity, it was nice knowing you.
3. Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it to lessons with me in my pocket?
4. FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
5. ( text her instead )
1. How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
2. I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
3. Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid?
4. If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
5. ( text her instead )
2. I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
3. Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid?
4. If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
5. ( text her instead )
1. please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'tequila mockingbird'. PLEASE
2. have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? i don't think the rooster has a soul
3. last night when i was hammered i set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message
4. used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. really pleased with my problem solving skills
5. ( text him instead )
2. have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? i don't think the rooster has a soul
3. last night when i was hammered i set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message
4. used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. really pleased with my problem solving skills
5. ( text him instead )
1. Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML.
2. Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
3. Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single...
4. I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
5. ( text her instead )
2. Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
3. Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single...
4. I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
5. ( text her instead )
1. Fell asleep on the couch and my daughters decided to help themselves to a game of salon. I look fantastic.
2. So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode".
3. You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé."
4. I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to leave immediately.
5. Text her if you dare.
2. So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode".
3. You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé."
4. I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to leave immediately.
5. Text her if you dare.
Good. Because I have very fine china and antiques, Mr. Kennedy. Such are far more pricey than what your man flesh could be worth.
lol when i loaded the page the first time it was at 69 comments
realprouddad
- 2021-05-16 02:02 (UTC) - Expand[ FBI agent and daughter of a con artist. Full biography is here. ]
1) Hung over. Bed full of LEGOs for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
2) Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blowtorch. Where did the blowtorch come from?
3) Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3 1/2 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion.
4) Adam changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
5) [ Text Janet. ]
1) Hung over. Bed full of LEGOs for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
2) Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blowtorch. Where did the blowtorch come from?
3) Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3 1/2 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion.
4) Adam changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
5) [ Text Janet. ]
[ from here ]
He went back to work. I would've liked him to stay, but he only had so much time off. And I don't think he really wanted to stick around all day. He loves his work too.
No, you didn't tell me that. What happened?
He went back to work. I would've liked him to stay, but he only had so much time off. And I don't think he really wanted to stick around all day. He loves his work too.
No, you didn't tell me that. What happened?
1. I just woke to a cucco in my room.
2. Was that you in the kitchen last night? Screaming about steak?
3. I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements?
4. These kind of text worry me.
5. Text him!
2. Was that you in the kitchen last night? Screaming about steak?
3. I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements?
4. These kind of text worry me.
5. Text him!
1. I keep tryina leave, but for some reason I'm stayin.
2. I can feel you judging me through the phone.
3. his dick ain't big enough for him to be that proud of himself.
4. But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
5. or text him!
2. I can feel you judging me through the phone.
3. his dick ain't big enough for him to be that proud of himself.
4. But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
5. or text him!
Page 1 of 2