r/relationships meme

[crocpuppet]

r/relationships meme


(yes this is a watermarked stock image, I swear it's an aesthetic choice and NOT because I can't find/edit nice free use images--)

Was Valentine's Day a disaster? Are you grappling with whether you should let a trusted friend, partner, or family member in on your secret life? Need suggestions on how to tell your underclassman that yes you did notice them but you're just not interested? Need advice from a friend, but don't have any?

Well, good news! You can consult the internet's largest and absolutely most trustworthy social resource, Reddit!


RULES:

1. do NOT put your name/series in the title! Use the title for your relationship question, eg. How Do I Tell My Roommate To Stop Microwaving Fish?


2. (If you want though, include ooc info/preferences [[in brackets]] at the beginning or end of your post)


3. Write out the details for the problem you need help with in your top post, if you'd like! It can be based on canon, or entirely original, you're roleplayers you know the drill


4. Go forth and advise other characters!

Am I The Asshole option!
This variant is for those of you who already took action and are now wondering why everyone's mad at you for it! Here you just summarize your situation in the title and throw 'AITA' in there somewhere, and people will judge if you are the asshole (YTA) or if you're not the asshole (NTA), or if everyone sucks (ESH) or if no one does (NAH). Unlike the actual subreddit though, you don't have to take your judgment!

Format Examples:

I[31F] want to post a meme, but my roommate[35X] keeps slapping my keyboard out of my hand.
[[crocpuppet | OC]]
I get along great with my roommate, but they keep slapping my keyboard out of my hand whenever I try to make a post, how d

How can I resolve a conflict of interest at work?
There's a friend at this station I work at who always wants me to tag along while doing tasks, but the problem is, our assignments are very, very different, and in my case classified, and I can get in a lot of trouble for doing it in front of him. How can I let my friend down gently without it killing him?

AITA for putting my former boss into a potato
She called me a moron and to prove I'm not a moron I compressed her into a potato battery. My now ex-friend was glaring at me when I did it, but my boss WAS mean and she DID provoke me, so I'm not sure I'm TA?

Comments

AITA for wanting to break a rule I myself created?

[asummerstory]

[This is stupid, this is stupid, why is he even doing this instead of taking Mafuyu and talking to the others, this is so stupid!!]

Long story short, I'm in a band. A while back, our drummer and bass player were talking about dating drama another band was going through, and I said dating within a band was just asking for trouble and I'd always oppose something like that happening in our band.

Anyway, since then we got a vocalist (we were instrumental since then), and... Well, we're in love. We want to officially start dating, but the whole spiel I went on means I kinda risk being a hypocrite... I guess.

WIBTA?

[inlovewithmycar]

No one actually takes the whole "don't date your coworker/bandmate/hereditary arch nemesis" thing to heart.

Serious answer though - if you don't want to be sneaking around like a couple of grubby teenagers just to preserve your dignity, you have to do boring stuff, like cop to being wrong, and talk to your bandmates about it, and sort out where your relationship/band lies in your list of priorities.

Though to be fair, the sneaking around can be fun too.

[hero_to_zero]

Honestly? Yes.

But hear me out. People make mistakes, and they can be misguided. That means that you can end up being hypocritical when it's not your intention, but stubbornly keeping on your course is about the worst thing you can do. It sounds like you've already given thought to it and even probably made up your mind, but I get wanting a second opinion, especially when you start to get confused like that. Falling in love changes a man, and it changes your everything. Your perceptions, your goals, and of course, yourself. Is your love so frail that you'd let it go over something like this?

[love_the_smell]

You'd be very hypocritical. However, I think it would be best to talk to your other band members about it and to come up with plans A, B, and C if in case you and the vocalist break up. It's better to be ready for anything.

[ormondsoutlier]

Just fuck her dude. If they're your friends it should be fine.

How do I [23M] tell my family that I do NOT need a spouse?

[jc_superstar]

My family wants me to marry to continue the family line. My sister's already been arranged and my brother...let's just say he isn't even considered.

So not only do they want me to marry, they want me to marry and have as many kids as possible so that the 'family name' can continue on. I. Do. Not. Want. To. Marry.

Any marriage I've seen has been nothing but a loveless sham and like hell am I putting myself through that. My parents don't even like each other! And the fiance my sister's been put with treats her like dirt! No. I don't want anyone. I don't need anyone.

How do I tell them to leave me alone and drop the "when are we going to have grandchildren to dote on?" questions during the family gatherings?

[inlovewithmycar]

Every time your parents try to goad you into a loveless marriage, adopt a stray cat and tell them that's the only 'grandchildren' they're going to get and if they don't like it they should bother your other siblings.

I[16M] stabbed my friend & coworker[17M] w/ a steak knife and now we're not speaking, I need advice

[stitchedmouth]

First of all: I helped him get first aid, and his hand is okay.

If he doesn't want to speak to me again, I'd understand, although of course it will make work a little difficult. What I actually wanted advice for was if anyone has had success with therapy for anger management. I've looked around and it seems like it's a lot of either group work (I think that's a bad idea for me) or one or one sessions in-person (also a bad idea). Is there a way to do this more...anonymously? While not in the same room as someone I could attack if the session goes badly?

And does it work?

I don't want to keep hurting my friends.

[1foxgiven]

[Wow. Kita's managed some volatile teammates but... wow.

Okay.]

First of all - I think it's important you're trying to seek help, and keep this from happening again. Please give yourself credit for that. It's a hard thing to admit mistakes.

I'm glad your friend is recovered.

As for your question - There are remote therapy services. I haven't used them myself, but that could be an option.

[microwavelength]

You can’t change who you are. It’s survival of the fittest out there and only the people on top are worth it.

Bet he deserved it. It’s just society telling you that you should feel guilty.

Friends are overrated anyway.

[ormondsoutlier]

Never done it, but honestly anger management sounds like a crock'a shit. Just get high or somethin' and stab some tires if getting high doesn't work.

Or just tell the dude you'll stab him again if he doesn't talk t'ya. Use the fear, man.

[got_teeth]

I mean, maybe? That all depends on how much you want to change, why you want to change, and who you're seeing, etc etc etc. Offhand I'd say find someone you can meet remotely with? Or at least has a big enough office that they're not in the blood circle.

outside of that though, I'm deeply curious, what made you stab the guy? What was the anger trigger?

AITA for confessing I loved my best friend seconds before dying for him?

[personalspaceinvader]

It is worth noting that I did not, in fact, die. Well, I suppose it is more correct to say that I did not die for very long. A week or so, maximum. However, the method of my death was likely somewhat traumatic for my best friend, so that may not be as much of a consideration as I would like it to be.

Regardless: my best friend and I have known each other for more than ten years. It would be factual to say I was in love with him from the start but was unaware for awhile. Even knowing my feelings, I knew that he would not reciprocate them. While I myself am not concerned with gender presentation nor sexual orientations, he had made it abundantly clear that he was interested in women exclusively and altering my body to suit that was overly complicated and fraught with ethical concerns. So I said nothing up until recently.

Unfortunately, my best friend and I were in a life-or-death situation that is difficult to describe. I remembered that I had a deal with someone that could save us, but the cost of that would be to tell my secret and then, promptly, die. I was fine with that trade as my best friend was and is far more important than I am. But as this was likely our final goodbye, I 'bared my soul' as the terminology goes. And, yes, at the end informed him I loved him and then died.

My logic is that this was a necessary move to assure his survival and to also make him aware that someone cared about him. However, since my return, my friend has seemed to be upset with the decision and the fact I had never told him either about my feelings or about the deal I made. The fact that he was unable to even respond to my speech also seems to have been a sore spot. But I am not sure what the alternatives could have been if I wanted to maintain our friendship all these years and/or wanted him to survive.

Am I truly the 'asshole'?

[inlovewithmycar]

[ Oof. This hits Crowley right in the gut. ]

Ah, the joys of repression. Can't actually argue with your logic, but a last minute confession like that - I dunno. Something something survivor's guilt.

Honestly it sounds like your friend has his own baggage to unpack as well.

NTA

[adpacempertyrannidem]

You are not an asshole.

You took him at his word. It's not your fault that he was deceiving himself, and in so doing, deceived you.

I chose not to confess to someone because it's apparent to me that he probably wouldn't receive it well, due to his own internalised self-hatred. And even when I thought my days were numbered...I decided that if the rest of my life was going to be short, I wasn't going to spend it fighting with someone else's internalised bigotry, or his terror of being thought badly of.

Things have changed, and I'm with someone else now.

We're poly, and if I thought things were going to change on his end, I'd confess to him.

But you strike me as someone who's lived a long time, like me. And people who are not ready to be themselves in the world...well, regardless of the number of years they have lived, we're too old for them.

If you were able to come back, and he's ready to deal with it now?

He needs to be grateful for that.

A lot of people die without ever experiencing happiness, and the sad thing is how often it's because they choose to live in self-deception.

How do I convince my colleagues that Casual Friday is a good idea?

[love_the_smell]

Not that I have anything against my work uniform, as my designer created it with my input. However, when I proposed a once a month Casual Friday to my colleagues, they all said that they weren't sure it was a good idea. According to them, I "might come to work naked." First of all, I don't see how anything's wrong with that. Second of all, I proposed Casual Friday, not Birthday Suit Friday.

Any ideas on how to get Casual Fridays approved at my workplace?

[ormondsoutlier]

Ain't got any ideas but feel free t'come to my place for Birthday suit friday.

[got_teeth]

Oooh okay, I've been in a sitch close enough to this -

okay so like, two options. 1) come into work on friday in casual clothing, and if anyone gives you grief just say it's casual friday. Eventually (at least if your workplace isn't totally full of losers), someone's going to join you because casual clothes are comfortable and who wouldn't want a break from stuffy uniforms?

Option 2) propose Birthday Suit Friday aggressively, and when they start wringing their hands on it, begin 'compromising' by bargaining up to casual clothes instead, which will now seem like a really good option. It's the classic 'bait with a terrible consequence so they'll eagerly take the option you actually want' strat!

How do I confess my feelings of love for an old friend?

[metalmanipulator]

My friend [M, 40s] and I [M, 40s] have known each other for decades now, and ideologically speaking, we're complete opposites. He's logical, I'm more emotional, he's more passive, I'm more aggressive, things like that. Despite this, I find myself drawn back to his side time and again, but circumstances beyond our control have often kept us on opposite sides when it comes to issues that effect far more than just the two of us.

I was married for a while and unfortunately that ended in tragedy, but even then he was my strongest support system when I was at my lowest moment. There is no one else I'd rather grow old with.

I know there's never going to be a "perfect moment" to confess, and even if there was, I'm sure I'd be waiting until we were little old men. But I don't quite know how to tell him that I've loved him for a very long time. Any advice would be helpful.

[adpacempertyrannidem]

Been there.

Done that.

Don't.

Personality conflicts can be worked around, but deep-seated ideals in two individuals who are strongly committed to those ideals are a deal-breaker.

Unless one of you is willing to bend ideologically, it will just make subsequent conflicts a whole lot worse. And chances are, if you try, whoever bends the most will be the angriest when it ends up not working. When one of you disappoints the other.

And you will. Something will happen and one of you will break. The compromise will fall apart.

Let him go before the two of you end up ruining your entire planet.

I'm planning swift and righteous revenge on the man who shot me but, somehow, I'm still the arsehole

[lightsthesun]

In what world does that make any sense? It's his own fault for starting something he couldn't hope to finish. And probably not for the first time.

[got_teeth]

hmmm, idk, INFO: why did he shoot you in the first place?

AITA for telling her hubby I fucked her

[blarneys]

He’s a cunt.

They’re both cunts.

[ormondsoutlier]

I mean you all sound like cunts from here, but whatever dude.

AITA for wanting to be the center of attention?

[creepyoldguy]

See, there's nothing wrong with wanting a little attention, right?

[dontpetmeibite]

That really depends on how far you are willing to go to get that attention, and whether or not you want it from a specific person or persons.

Also, as I am constantly trying to impress upon my partner's bratty twins, not all attention is good attention.

Next steps after realising your home/workplace may be incredibly toxic?

[godslantern]

To cut a very long story short, I was recently given reason to believe my superiors have been lying to me about something important for a very long time. It involves bridges that were not so much burned as hacked to pieces some time ago, and whether there's anything to be salvaged.

If they were lying about that, what else have they been lying about? How do I go about finding out whether those bridges can be rebuilt after all? There is neutral territory I can get to, which will help with some parts of this, but my superiors have already demonstrated willingness to resort to... extreme measures in the face of insubordination.

I don't intend to wait for permission to look into things; that won't be coming if I ask for it. But how do I safely extricate myself?

[OOC: I would love technically-castmates willing to play along, but will assume parallel timelines unless you tell me otherwise.]

Do people who keep running into you in memes count as technichal castmates?

[infernosonata]

I admit, I have been in a similar situation myself. Picture, if you will, a wealthy employer who saw you as nothing as a pretty little songbird to be locked in a cage. They would do anything to keep their little pet, even going as far as clipping your wings and commanding you to fly to prove yourself.

So how did I escape something like that?

Well, the whole matter's rather complex, and I can't be entirely sure your superiors' methods are as bad as my ex-employers' were, but I will say this: Don't be afraid to call upon darker powers for help. Your freedom will be well worth the price.