toastysocks (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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bakerstreet2021-01-30 09:09 am
toastysocks) wrote in bakerstreet2021-01-30 09:09 am
Entry tags:
1: I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the table. Good job.
2: Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a medic
3: If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
4: All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
5: Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeegee most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
6: [bring your own text]
2: Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a medic
3: If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
4: All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
5: Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeegee most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
6: [bring your own text]
1: I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
2: I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
3: I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
4: This is your post mission survival text. This a free and complimentary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you for your consideration.
5: He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
6: [bring your own text]
2: I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
3: I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
4: This is your post mission survival text. This a free and complimentary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you for your consideration.
5: He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
6: [bring your own text]
[ooc; cont. from here.]
Maybe she still needs it, anyway. I am with you whatever you do, Ben, but I know from personal experience the pain that regret can cause.
Maybe she still needs it, anyway. I am with you whatever you do, Ben, but I know from personal experience the pain that regret can cause.
1: He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
2: At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
3: I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
4: Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
5: It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
6: [bring your own text]
2: At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
3: I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
4: Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
5: It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
6: [bring your own text]
[ooc; cont. from here!]
You came back for me when you didn't have to. You saved my life. It's because of you that they're still alive! I know there's good in you - I've seen it and felt it myself. I'm not going to let anybody hurt you, friend or otherwise.
You came back for me when you didn't have to. You saved my life. It's because of you that they're still alive! I know there's good in you - I've seen it and felt it myself. I'm not going to let anybody hurt you, friend or otherwise.
1: It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
2: So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... '
3: I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
4: I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
5: i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
6: [bring your own text]
2: So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... '
3: I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
4: I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
5: i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
6: [bring your own text]
a. I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
b. As long as you're somehow patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
c. I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
d. I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
b. As long as you're somehow patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
c. I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
d. I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
1. i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
2. I swear to god he's a one man village people.
3. Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
4. winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
5. I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
6. [text her!]
2. I swear to god he's a one man village people.
3. Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
4. winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
5. I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
6. [text her!]
1: You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
2: Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
3: She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
4: dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
5: Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
6: [bring your own text]
2: Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
3: She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
4: dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
5: Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
6: [bring your own text]
That's nice, I guess?
But there's not that much of a difference, is there?
But there's not that much of a difference, is there?
1. why's it always ME doing damage control on YOUR drunk mistakes
2. I thought we weren't talking about the Christmas party!
3. I've been sat in this circle of musty boxes for four hours and I've only just noticed one of them might've been bled on. in? so that's how my weekend's going
4. ( text him! )
2. I thought we weren't talking about the Christmas party!
3. I've been sat in this circle of musty boxes for four hours and I've only just noticed one of them might've been bled on. in? so that's how my weekend's going
4. ( text him! )
it's a bit harder to determine than you might think!
weirdly the stuff inside is... fine? like some other archival assistant somewhere along the line went "yeaaah, sure, it's covered in blood, but it's a good box though..."
weirdly the stuff inside is... fine? like some other archival assistant somewhere along the line went "yeaaah, sure, it's covered in blood, but it's a good box though..."
1— he kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat
2— just because he's a soldier doesn't mean his dick is a hero
3— i asked you why you bought a sword and you replied with the greek alphabet and tried to assure me that samurais are part of greek life
4— strip mythology. everyone wins. most of all me.
5— ( text him! )
1. just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with jager
2. it's not too terrible. you just got a little naked and broke your arm
3. of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. i'd say it's been a good two days
4. i refuse to apologize. any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is going to get bit
[ or text him. ]
2. it's not too terrible. you just got a little naked and broke your arm
3. of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. i'd say it's been a good two days
4. i refuse to apologize. any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is going to get bit
[ or text him. ]
Kylo Ren/Brianna Solo • r63!Star Wars • continues and new taggers welcome!
umbraeternam
2021-01-30 04:27 pm (UTC)(link)
1.) We're hate flirting, damnit.
2.) Eventually the conversation shifted to sex toys.
3.) Why was I lying under a ship last night?
4.) They were drunk. And loud. And now they're drunk and quiet. Or dead, you never know.
5.) I'm so glad we both made out with him/her though. I feel like that really brought us together.
6.) [ wildcard; text her! cross canon, AUs, OCs, timeline or EU shenanigans always welcome! ]
1. All I did was threaten to fill a pair of maracas with his teeth - comparatively speaking he woulda gotten off easy.
2. Dunno if that last text was serious but I'm not in the mood for pranks, dude.
3. You got SUPER drunk and sent me a load of texts like…confessing to all the bad stuff you did this year.
4. Tried to draw you; ended up creating your Dorian Gray portrait 😬
5. Don’t get mad at me – I told you I’d win.
6. It’s two o’clock in the fucking morning, you’d better be literally on fire.
7. [ wildcard; byo, misfires, assumed CR all good! ]
2. Dunno if that last text was serious but I'm not in the mood for pranks, dude.
3. You got SUPER drunk and sent me a load of texts like…confessing to all the bad stuff you did this year.
4. Tried to draw you; ended up creating your Dorian Gray portrait 😬
5. Don’t get mad at me – I told you I’d win.
6. It’s two o’clock in the fucking morning, you’d better be literally on fire.
7. [ wildcard; byo, misfires, assumed CR all good! ]
[ from here! ]
Okay great, that still doesn't answer my question :I
WHY WAS THE FIRE ON YOU.
Okay great, that still doesn't answer my question :I
WHY WAS THE FIRE ON YOU.
Edited 2021-01-30 16:36 (UTC)
1. Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Help?
2. Be quiet or Apollo will come beat you up with science.
3. I said "one day" and that day is not today. Besides, I was drunk. Sober me knows better than to try to get close to Queen Hera's peacocks.
4. Himeros was staring right at his dick in the pool, then looked at each of ours, fist pumped and said "I win!" He promptly got dunked by the rest of the Erotes and would've drowned if he was mortal.
5. Some kid just came up to me bleeding and yelling "that's how you riot". Please come get me before this gets worse. I really am not cut out for Dionysus' processions.
6. or text him!
2. Be quiet or Apollo will come beat you up with science.
3. I said "one day" and that day is not today. Besides, I was drunk. Sober me knows better than to try to get close to Queen Hera's peacocks.
4. Himeros was staring right at his dick in the pool, then looked at each of ours, fist pumped and said "I win!" He promptly got dunked by the rest of the Erotes and would've drowned if he was mortal.
5. Some kid just came up to me bleeding and yelling "that's how you riot". Please come get me before this gets worse. I really am not cut out for Dionysus' processions.
6. or text him!
Well that's quite the outcome of a naked swim- Thank god he's not mortal.
1. I got kicked out of the Barnes & Noble for putting all the Bibles in the fiction section.
2. Some guy just rode an office chair down my street. I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
3. My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now.
4. Yes. With one hundred percent certainty, I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
5. YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDISH?!
[...or wildcard him!]
2. Some guy just rode an office chair down my street. I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
3. My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now.
4. Yes. With one hundred percent certainty, I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
5. YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDISH?!
[...or wildcard him!]
a. the highlight of the night was definitely when you started telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
b. you are beautiful! i got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. it was at my brother, i don't know why they were mad. I know him.
c. i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
d. i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
or choose your own. mark for spoilers pls.
( from here )
1. in my defence, you are comically easy to bribe.
2. you made me carry you home fireman style; lowkey looked like I'd murdered you.
3. I'm fine by the way, thanks for the concern.
4. fuckin christ, would you drop it? you're like a broken fuckin record.
5. this is a test to check if the recipient is still alive - you good?
6. why do you need me specifically..?
7. ( byo; assumed cr or misfires totally welcome. )
1. in my defence, you are comically easy to bribe.
2. you made me carry you home fireman style; lowkey looked like I'd murdered you.
3. I'm fine by the way, thanks for the concern.
4. fuckin christ, would you drop it? you're like a broken fuckin record.
5. this is a test to check if the recipient is still alive - you good?
6. why do you need me specifically..?
7. ( byo; assumed cr or misfires totally welcome. )
I do look and feel as if I had been run over by a train.
Thanks for carrying me home, though.
Thanks for carrying me home, though.
001. if my tweets have offended you, i truly apologize. i honestly did not think you could read.
002. if you ever feel safe, please remember that i'm out there.
003. hey! eat shit, i wasn't running away! i like to call it "strategic retreat" thank you very much.
004. yeah, but how do i know you're dating me for my heart and not my international criminal empire?
005. how bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? be optimistic if possible, i'm anxious about it.
that's not true
maybe the game only just started
i had to make sure you were willing to play first, otherwise what's the point?
[ what is the point? anyway, why shuichi? ]
i know you do that dumb training stuff at night, but is that really helping you where it counts?
being able to do a million sit-ups isn't going to do anything to sharpen your detective skills
you're so unappreciative
no wonder everyone thinks you're kind of a dick
[ does everyone really think that? who knows. probably not. but whatever kokichi's gotta say to get shuichi to come get him works for him! also, he's maybe a little jealous, but that is absolutely not the point. ]
maybe the game only just started
i had to make sure you were willing to play first, otherwise what's the point?
[ what is the point? anyway, why shuichi? ]
i know you do that dumb training stuff at night, but is that really helping you where it counts?
being able to do a million sit-ups isn't going to do anything to sharpen your detective skills
you're so unappreciative
no wonder everyone thinks you're kind of a dick
[ does everyone really think that? who knows. probably not. but whatever kokichi's gotta say to get shuichi to come get him works for him! also, he's maybe a little jealous, but that is absolutely not the point. ]
1. i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore
2. there's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop
3. we need to get you laid or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies
4. i don't even care if you were high. the fact that i've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok
( or text him! )
2. there's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop
3. we need to get you laid or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies
4. i don't even care if you were high. the fact that i've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok
( or text him! )
1. Im giving up sleeping for awhile. Dreams are getting way too real.
2. He sat across from me at the coffee shop, dissed the comic I was paging through, and then tried to give me his number.
3. I know my water and electricity were turned off but there’s a free outlet in the hall of my apartment building. Like hell am I asking my family for help.
4. I really thought a heart shaped pizza would be my way in.
5. So spoiler alert. Club soda does not get blood out.
2. He sat across from me at the coffee shop, dissed the comic I was paging through, and then tried to give me his number.
3. I know my water and electricity were turned off but there’s a free outlet in the hall of my apartment building. Like hell am I asking my family for help.
4. I really thought a heart shaped pizza would be my way in.
5. So spoiler alert. Club soda does not get blood out.
Edited 2021-01-30 17:40 (UTC)
[From Here]
A) i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
B) Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
C) Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
D) Text him!
A) i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
B) Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
C) Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
D) Text him!
[From Here]
A) you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
B) DON'T WEAR PANTS.
C) I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
D) I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
E) Text him!
A) you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
B) DON'T WEAR PANTS.
C) I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
D) I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
E) Text him!
I'm impressed by your commitment to recording my breaths in that statement
[From Here]
A) You have permanently scarred my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
B) I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
C) He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
D) You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
E) Text him!
A) You have permanently scarred my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
B) I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
C) He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
D) You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
E) Text him!
A) He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
B) You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
C) And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
D) Text her!
B) You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
C) And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
D) Text her!
1. Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside
2. Bachelor party turned 19 day search and rescue on the tundra. nbd
3. No like you fell ONTO the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area
4. I spent most of the conversation trying to prove that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and not a Snuffleupagus-esque figment of his stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a town in Canada called Dildo
5. ( text her! )
2. Bachelor party turned 19 day search and rescue on the tundra. nbd
3. No like you fell ONTO the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area
4. I spent most of the conversation trying to prove that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and not a Snuffleupagus-esque figment of his stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a town in Canada called Dildo
5. ( text her! )
You can't out too-much-typing me, I promise, and will furthermore demonstrate that fact for you by textwalling you, like so
Re: #1, I KNOW but tbh it really was also just an expression of visceral yuck to the whole YAY SANTA thing in general. Like I'm not a huuuuuuuuuge fan and that didn't have anything to do with the sack association before, altho I'm def associating it now, blerrrghhhhh
Re: #2, it sounds like oversimplifying but mainly it's just getting yourself on a schedule and sticking to it? Forcing yourself to be active during the "day," and going to bed around the same time every night. The auroras are amazing but not necessarily predictable. I know I've inadvertently slept thru some freakin STUNNING displays. But yeah, caffeine helps counteract your brain's dark = sleep now tendencies only to a point; without sunlight you've got to make yourself move, even if it's just dancing around like a lunatic on your kitchen floor, to feel properly awake.
Re: the rest, first, I'm not going to fault you for being much more mildly innuendo-y over coffee than I was Santa's bag o' fun.
And second, the mention of a great big glob has reminded me of some sordid details, and I really want to share them and you said you'll take it any way you can get it BUT
I'm dubious. This is potentially traumatic stuff, alright? Like if I tell you this there's no going back. You won't ever be able to unsee it in your mind's eye. How are you feeling about that????
Re: #1, I KNOW but tbh it really was also just an expression of visceral yuck to the whole YAY SANTA thing in general. Like I'm not a huuuuuuuuuge fan and that didn't have anything to do with the sack association before, altho I'm def associating it now, blerrrghhhhh
Re: #2, it sounds like oversimplifying but mainly it's just getting yourself on a schedule and sticking to it? Forcing yourself to be active during the "day," and going to bed around the same time every night. The auroras are amazing but not necessarily predictable. I know I've inadvertently slept thru some freakin STUNNING displays. But yeah, caffeine helps counteract your brain's dark = sleep now tendencies only to a point; without sunlight you've got to make yourself move, even if it's just dancing around like a lunatic on your kitchen floor, to feel properly awake.
Re: the rest, first, I'm not going to fault you for being much more mildly innuendo-y over coffee than I was Santa's bag o' fun.
And second, the mention of a great big glob has reminded me of some sordid details, and I really want to share them and you said you'll take it any way you can get it BUT
I'm dubious. This is potentially traumatic stuff, alright? Like if I tell you this there's no going back. You won't ever be able to unsee it in your mind's eye. How are you feeling about that????
the whole show is just people with muppet-faces it's Amazing
abeam
- 2021-01-31 14:38 (UTC) - Expandsorta like The Terror only the muppets are almost perpetually scared shitless??
ladysilence
- 2021-01-31 14:52 (UTC) - Expandye fighting the french isn't as horrific; more chances for pratfalls
abeam
- 2021-01-31 16:14 (UTC) - Expandto be fair those lads in the discovery service get pretty close to banana peel territory
ladysilence
- 2021-01-31 16:32 (UTC) - Expandsounds to me like the recipe for a wondrous crack vid, would i had the skills to create it
ladysilence
- 2021-01-31 18:59 (UTC) - Expandi mean there's always this: https://youtu.be/5bCQaRff9mM
ladysilence
- 2021-02-01 02:20 (UTC) - Expand
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