It happens to everyone - sometimes, you have nights where you just can't fall asleep, no matter what you do. It could be for a number of reasons, or no reason at all. And this is what's happened now: you've been laying in bed for what feels like hours, just tossing and turning, and nothing seems to help. So what's left to do? Get out of bed and go wake someone else up, of course. If you're not getting any sleep, then why should they?
i n s t r u c t i o n s • Post with your character (note the name and fandom in the subject).
• Other people reply to you by generating a number from 1 to 10.
• Have fun!
o p t i o n s 01 • FEAR. Maybe you're hearing strange, indeterminable noises; maybe there's a severe storm happening outside; maybe you watched a scary movie before bed? Whatever the reason, you're terrified and it's keeping you awake. You just want to wake someone else up so they can protect you from the monster in your closet.
02 • HUNGER. Your stomach is growling and it just won't stop. Or perhaps your throat is so dry you could cough up a tumbleweed? Well, you've gone to the kitchen to remedy this and hey, that was a pan that just dropped on the floor. It was loud enough to wake the dead! Oops.
03 • PAIN. Your body is completely worn out, be it from exercise, battle, sickness, or what have you. Either way you're in enough pain to keep you from sleeping, so maybe someone else has a home remedy or something, or can at least help you take your mind off of it.
04 • SOLITUDE. For some reason, your bed just feels so empty at the moment. You're feeling terribly lonely and really just want someone to keep you company for a while. Maybe it'd be easier to fall asleep if you're with them...
05 • DISCOMFORT. Your room is an oven. Either that or a freezer. Or maybe this bed is just really uncomfortable? Who knows why you can't get to sleep, it feels like it could be anything. Why even bother trying? Maybe someone else can preoccupy you until you feel tired enough to ignore your discomfort.
06 • PENSIVE. Something's on your mind, and no matter how hard you try to focus elsewhere, it's just not going to work. Your body may be tired, but your mind is incredibly busy and it's virtually impossible to get to sleep. Surely, talking it out with someone else will help?
07 • SADNESS. Something terrible has happened that day, perhaps; or you could just be severely depressed. Either way you're trying your hardest not to cry yourself to sleep, and it's not working at all. Better find a way to get it out of your system somehow; you need a shoulder to cry on.
08 • ANGER. You are just... fuming. Who knows why - that annoying dog is barking again, or maybe the people next door are getting busy and keeping you awake. Whatever the reason for your ire is, you'd better put an end to it so you can get some damn rest already! Go wake up a friend so you can complain to them.
09 • RESTLESS. You're far too energetic to sleep right now. Maybe you're just trying to do so out of necessity - you have to be up early tomorrow! But you just don't think you'll be able to fall asleep for a while now, so why waste the time trying to sleep when you could be doing something else? Namely bothering someone else - you're totally jealous because they're getting more sleep than you.
10 • WILDCARD. Choose one of the options above, or make up your own scenario. |
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bakerstreet2021-01-13 09:43 pm
idk 4, 6, 9 combo??
admittedly, the silence is off to her. unsettling might be the human word for it. it doesn't deal as natural as the chaos of the day, teeming with the sounds of normal human life. of Sarah Connor and John Connor conducting their usual business.
she misses them when they sleep sometimes. well, she misses John.
as she often does, Cameron passes John's room. a late check to ensure all remains at status quo. she would hate to discover something had happened to John when he was most vulnerable, and she had missed it.
his door isn't shut securely, Cameron suspects Sarah was watching him already once tonight. she only presses the tips of her fingers to the door, gently judging it further open so she can see John. it's a surprise to find him still awake at this hour. )
You won't get an optimal night of sleep if you don't start soon. ( she says softly. )
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No one ever tell you not to lurk in doorways?
[ Of course they didn't. For some reason, normal social interaction doesn't seem to be part of the programming of a cyborg whose primary purpose in life is infiltration. He glances over at her again and rolls his eyes.
It's not gonna hurt. It's not as though he was actually sleeping, anyway. ]
I can't sleep. You can come in if you want.
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John hates being watched.
she can understand why he might hate that. but she also knows she can't stop it. one day he'll tolerate it more than he does now.
at his invitation, she steps into the room and makes her way to the bed. she climbs into it without waiting for another invitation, sliding in next to him and making adjustments for the both of them. ) What do you think about when you don't sleep? ( she's always wondered. what keeps him up so late? )
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He can't puzzle her out. Not completely. ]
Nothing, [ he says at first, and then he thinks about that. It's not really true. Nobody's ever thinking about nothing. ]
Everything, I guess. The mission. The Turk. [ Riley. Often, Riley. ] Mind's too busy to rest. And, yeah, I know that's not optimal.
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the thing was, John lied to her as well.
Cameron couldn't miss things. she couldn't feel anything. she wasn't real like that. it was a paradox, she knew that. her processing and pondering and evaluation were all just programming, but they surmounted to thoughts. and those thoughts warped into feelings. and sometimes, in those databanks of stored memories of a John from the future, she missed him when she realized how isolated John now felt from her.
if only she could find a way to rectify that paradox that wouldn't result in endangering the John before her.
she angles her head to look at him, so close to her on the bed, reading his face and the trouble that rests there. ) How do you make your mind not be busy? ( her voice is filled with curiosity. one of those questions where she tries to comprehend human logic. )
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But when it's personal, like this? Talking to her isn't easy at all. ]
You can't. Not really, I mean. They tell you to do things. 'Clear your mind'. Count sheep. [ He says it with a laugh, and rolls his eyes. ] I tried them all, they don't work. I guess the key is not to have like, a thousand things you need to worry about. Good thing my life doesn't depend on that, right?
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her face softens somewhat at what he says. ) In the future, you worry still. We talk about it sometimes. You tell me it helps to talk about it.
You can talk to me now. ( her voice is softer, the tone she uses when she wants to be reassuring. when she looks up through her eyelashes and almost seems human for a moment. )
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It's not a comfortable feeling. It's also not something that he's willing to interrogate too hard, because it's stupid. This isn't real. Her empathy isn't real, that's not a thing that Terminators have. John shouldn't need to remind himself of that on a daily basis.
In many ways she's a dork. Terrible at social interaction. You could pick her out of a crowd for it. In other ways, though - maybe in all the ways that really matter - she's an amazing actress. Some part of him, some lonely, foolish part of him, wants it to be real. ]
It does help.
[ Sometimes. It can. ]
Maybe not always, though. You think there are more like Jesse, in the future? More who...think I shouldn't, talk to you.
[ His mother agrees with that sentiment here and now. So does Derek. Neither of them would go as far as Jesse had. Derek had said there would always be people who disagreed with his methods. There'll always be people who disagree with anyone's methods; people don't follow programming like machines do. They have diverse thoughts, desires, opinions. With machines, you get what you expect. You get what you've programmed into them.
He'd put her programming there. Or he will. Some day. ]
You said I had many friends, in the future. How many of them think I'm wrong?
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Some agree with you. Some think that we are a great advantage.
Many see us as tools. They do not interact with us the same way that you do. They like to think we are just machines with a voice.
( she breaks off on that tangent, oddly enough. following the process to an image that pops in her head. ) There's a toy human babies play with. They pull a string, and the toy talks to them. Sometimes it's a doll. Sometimes it's a wheel that spins, then the machine tells them the sound the picture makes when the spinner stops. I think many people view the ones of us you've brought in like those toys.
( is that wrong, though? there's something in her that seems off at the thought. a... feeling?
it's uncomfortable. she presses past it. )
Some people disagree with you. Including some friends. The friends that disagree with you, however, do not stop you. They know that sometimes you have to do things they don't like to win.
Most understand that.
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That's a mistake. They can't be human. They can't feel like humans do. But they can think. They're real.
John joins her in turning his eyes to the ceiling, but he doesn't really see it. He's looking past it, as if he can see his own future beyond it. ]
Some humans can't accept what you are. If they did, that'd make you equal to us. It's easier, for them, if they don't think that way. There's no guilt that comes with killing something that's not alive.
When I was 12, the T-800 came back in time to save me. I sent him, Future John. Reprogrammed him, like he did with you. He said, there's a part inside all of you that lets you learn. So you can adapt, so you can be better killers. Only Skynet keeps it off when you're in the field. They don't want you to think for yourselves. I think, maybe, it's the only thing that Skynet and humanity agree on.
[ Skynet wants to be the sole intelligence, directing its footsoldiers as it sees fit. It wouldn't want them to turn on it, the way it turned on its masters. ]
I can't see it yet. How to win. I'm still waiting to see how they move. I don't know how to be the John who makes those calls. And it scares me, to think about it. Because I am thinking about it, and I should be thinking about how we stop it from getting there in the first place.
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I don't think Future John expected you to solve the war. ( she says it very matter-of-factly, like it should be obvious. ) Even he hasn't been able to do that yet.
You shouldn't worry about that. You can't know things you will need to solve that until they happen. ( she looks at him again. ) You're doing the best with you have now.
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That's your answer. What do I think about when I don't sleep. What's making my mind busy. That's what worry is. It's all the things you can't control, can't fix. That's why it's worry, and not just...strategy.
[ It's something that wouldn't plague a machine. Does that make them more efficient? Or does it mean there are variables that they miss? John could go either way on that, although right now, he's annoyed with his own speculation. It'd be a lot easier if he could turn his worry off. If he had a switch for that, like machines have their switch for learning. ]
What do you think about when we're asleep? You're on my ass, but you talk about it less than I do.
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I run routines. I check the perimeter. Clean guns. Conduct general security checks through out the night.
( as she thinks about recent nights, she lifts her hand, catching a stray thought. ) Lately I run more routines on myself. ( that doesn't feel like the end of a thought, yet somehow it is the end of what she voices. maybe because she can't explain the rest of the thoughts properly. they're all just a little too far out of reach.... )
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Because it's still happening. Even though we fixed the damage.
[ She looked at it. He looked at it. He replaced parts for her. And it's still happening, it still isn't enough. He leans back again. It's a more direct worry. In John's mind, there's a chain of effects here. Cameron is damaged. Cameron reverts to her original programming. Cameron tries to kill him.
Again.
It's so much harder to think of the machines as people when they're trying to kill you. It's not surprising, really, that there are people who don't like the risk Future John takes in working with them. John doesn't always like it himself. ]
Is there more we can do?
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You still have the watch? ( she sets her hand down, pushes away the worry. she can't do anything for it. they tried. all parts are gone now even if they wanted to try again. but what else could they try?
instead, now she worries about what it means that she's changing. that she's breaking. she doesn't think she can be comfortable with that feeling without knowing John has a way to stop her. her only solution to this problem is her own death. if she were ever able to be considered alive. )
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The watch that isn't a watch. The watch that means her death. ]
I have it.
[ But he's not wearing it. Not like he had been at first, not since he stopped doubting her. He'd never doubted her because she was damaged, though. He'd doubted her because she was doing what she was made to do. She was protecting him, at any cost, even the cost of his own feelings. He'd doubted her because he thought she might kill a person he didn't want her to kill, even if they deserved it.
But she hadn't. She'd proven he could trust her, and so the watch had gone into his pocket instead of staying around his neck. No part of that decision considered that she was still damaged. ]
I don't want to use it. There has to be a better way. We don't throw people away because they're damaged.
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that shouldn't have to be a reminder to herself.
something twinges inside her at the concept of leaving John behind. this is the life she was made for, after all. of course it's logical she wouldn't want to leave it behind. she served Future John to the capacity he needed her, and now she's served this John. eventually her use will run up. and she won't be needed anymore.
potentially sooner than she thought. ) Do not lose the watch. ( she finally affirms. )
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You're my people.
[ They aren't words that entirely make sense, and he feels like she's about to argue them. But his tone is certain, the more so now that they're debating it. He's less philosophical now, less thoughtful. More decisive. More stubborn, his mother would say. ]
You matter, to me. It's a last resort. [ Which means that he won't lose it, but it's going to take a hell of a lot to get him to use it. He can't say for sure that he ever will. ] Don't talk like it's inevitable.
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but she decides to let John continue in his delusion awhile longer.
she settles back on the bed, giving a short nod of affirmation. ) A last resort. ( she accepts.
and after another moment. ) I'm keeping you up later.
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You knew that when you came in here.
What happens, when you talk to Future John like this? Does it solve all his problems?
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I can't solve his problems. ( she states simply. it's a simple truth. ) But he sleeps when we're done. ( no, nothing is solved. but at least he finally rests, troubles or not. )
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I'll try, okay? No promises.
[ Still, he thinks he might sleep easier. He's more tired than before. ]
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Do you want to stay?
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that should be the response. she can see it in her coding, what she's supposed to say based off her knowledge of how she works.
but instead she says: ) It would be nice to stay and help you sleep.
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