bakerstreet | BROKEN MEME

BROKEN MEME

broken meme

You may once have been a great hero, or a modest regular person. But something has pushed you past the limit. There's simply no going back to who you used to be. To be seen now, your friends, your family, would they even recognize you? Your savior was too late. The pain was too much. The pleasure was too intense. You've been short-circuited.

You're broken.

A. Post with the usual stuff! Note somewhere if there are any options you aren't okay with.
B. People can reply, with a roll for their characters or ask if you want to roll for yours in that thread.
C. Probably some triggers involved here. Read at your own discretion, etc.

1. Pain.
You've been pushed beyond your limits and become light-headed, 'floaty'. The sight of your own blood doesn't provoke a reaction anymore, and seeing a friend might cause you to smile, or talk strangely. You might not even recognize them. It doesn't hurt anymore. It's alright now.

2. Lust.
No, no, no became yes, yes, yes. Dignity and self-respect have faded, replaced by an insatiable and alien feeling of want. You've reached a point where shame doesn't even occur to you anymore. Your eyes seem out of focus and your smile doesn't look right. Look, I've made so many friends who like me...! Do anything to me if it feels good.

3. Shock.
What has been seen cannot be unseen. A revelation about a friend, a loved one, an enemy- something has shocked you in a way you can never reverse. It may change not only the way you look at someone or something, but also the way you see the rest of your life. I saw nothing, I saw nothing, I saw...

4. Oppressed.
What's it like outside my cage? Your spirit of rebellion or confidence has been cracked, and your rescuers might not be there in time to salvage what's left of your spirits. You've long since accepted that getting away from this oppression is impossible- Perhaps you've even become attached to it as the only way to live life. Yes, sir. No, sir. Sorry, sir.

5. Corruption.
Something has eroded you. You're not like you used to be. You're obsessive, your face is darker. You may even see who you were before as weak or useless. Whether it's a magic ring or Phazon infecting your body, you're going grimdark and it's looking a little too late to pull you out of it. This power is far greater than what I had before! To think I used to believe in justice!

6. Hysteria.
When you talk, you don't make any sense. Pure Charisma Break. Maybe you were a god stripped of your might, or you've suffered a terrible defeat. Either way your ego has snapped, leaving you a total mess and unable to function. But how could this be? How could I lose?!

7. Desperation.
Where before you were airy, confident, in control of yourself, you're now a ragged and fuming pile of hopeless anger. As a fighter you may have been careful or even graceful; now you swing wildly, strike without precision. You simply cannot accept the situation, cannot accept your own fall. It's not over! I'm still in control! I can still fix everything!

taken from here.

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He stood up and held a hand out to him. "You gonna be good then? Do what you're told so you don't have to go back on the rack? You don't wanna go back on there."

Lindsey started nodding his head in reaction then changed it to shaking his head in answer. "Good... I'll be good. No more.... No..." He looked up hesitantly at the hand held out to him.

This was the deciding moment... real or fake, truth or lies?

He reached up with his only hand and took it, half expecting the whole thing to fade away as an elaborate scenario of his torture.

"Good boy," he accepted Lindsey's hand, his own balm burning the other man as it sealed his face. Still, he looked more cleaned up. And he might feel a strange tingling in his nub as the hand slowly began to rebuild itself. "Let's get outta here, shall we?"

Lindsey cried out in shock when he felt something in his truncated arm. The burning sensation on his hand didn't surprise him, by now he was used to pain, but this... this tingling in his arm was different.

He didn't question though, but just nodded his head obediently to Dean. The way he looked at the demon was, even dare he be... slightly hopeful? He'll go anywhere with Dean as long as it took him away from here.

"Good," he turned and started to walk off, expecting Lindsey to follow. Doubting the man wanted to be wandering around almost naked he snapped his fingers to replace his rags with simple black pants and a black tshirt. "I'd stay close if I were you, you don't wanna get lost.". He continued onward, smiling at the echoing screams of the damned still on the rack.

"Th-thank you," Lindsey whispered when Dean replaced his torn rags with something actually representing real clothing. He was truly sincere with the heartfelt thanks, he hadn't worn anything, even as simple as this, in nearly a year.

As Dean walked on, Lindsey was never more than a step or two behind. He kept his head down and wasn't need to be told twice to keep close to the demon. Try as he may, he couldn't completely block out the screams and cries of those suffering around him, where not too long ago he was one among their ranks, so he tried to speed up his steps instead, keeping as close to Dean as possible without stepping on his shoes.

He wandered out of the torturing are walking past lakes of fires and piles of twisted corpses without even blinking. The demons they passed avoided eye contact with Dean but growled at Lindsey, a few even snapped at him. Once in a more secluded area he turned to look at the broken man in front of him.

"Now what do I do with you. I really should just turn you over to the next demon, start training you, I only deal with people in my department and o doubt you wanna be there. New recruits have to make their weapons first.". He took out his bone knife again, looking at it almost loveingly. "So what do you wanna do mr McDoland? Where would you like to go? No punishments right now, no wrong answers....cept up top, that's not happening."

Lindsey cowered back whenever he got snapped at and by the time they stopped, he was visibly shaking from the simple walk. He had truly and completely broken... what could he still do?

"I... I don't know." He thought about what he used to do, so very far in the past and another lifetime ago. He couldn't imagine going back to that now, he wanted to, but just the thought of going out on his own made him cringe and shake even more.

If Dean had taken him off earlier, at three months like he suggested, or even the five months... Hell might still have a talented crossroad demon in the making, but now, Lindsey was like a swaying leaf where the merest breeze could blow him over. "I... I don't know... what..." He shook his head and looked up at Dean for help.

Dean hesitated for a second, he couldn't show weakness. Even with his position of power, demons were like animals, show a weak spot and they'll trample you. But they were alone...and Dean remembered what being broken felt like. Even though it was a long time ago.

He looked around at the mountains of burning rock and flesh and shook his head in disgust."Man this place is distracting, and fuckin noisy. You need to think, you wanna go somewhere else? We can go somewhere else."

Although Lindsey didn't speak, his desperation showed in his eyes as he nodded quickly. He doubted getting some thinking space would help his situation, but he wasn't going to turn down an offer to get away from this place however temporary it was. He hadn't heard silence in so long that he doubted it even existed anymore. He imagined he could be standing alone in the north pole and all he would feel would be the heat, the winds would taste of blood and sulfur, and everything howled like the screams here.

"Please," he choked out as he lowered his gaze again so he wouldn't have to deal with what surrounded them. Dean had seen through him, that was enough.

Dean nodded and snapped his fingers. Suddenly the environment around them changed. Lindsey was standing on blush carpets. Instead of stone. Where the pile of heads had been was now a giant four post bed, unmade but dark red sheets littered the bed and floor. Where a stone wall had been there was now a fireplace, if it wasn't for the giant flat screen, lazy boy, leather couch, and Xbox they could be in another time people.

Dean looked around almost sheepishly."Sorry for the....this....my brother picked out everything. TV works though, who knew hell had free cable, right?". He shrugged and flopped down in his chair. "Sit.". The room was silent, sulfur smell and screams kept out by the closed windows. They were in the castle at the center of hell, what had once been a great stone shell had been rearranged by the new owner.

If Lindsey had been in his right mind, he would have retorted that it was perfect that Hell had free cable. Where else would need it more or deserve pirated cable networks as much as the land of sulfur did? As it was, he was quietly being overwhelmed by the grandeur of his new surroundings.

He didn't so much as sit down as have his knees give out from under him, thankfully depositing him onto the leather couch in the middle of the room.

For a long while, he just sat there, looking everywhere but at Dean. When the silence stretched out for too long, he gave Dean a hesitant glance. "I don't know what I can do..." Without the screams and cries and the air of blood, he found it was slightly easier to speak if not by echoed by those things. "I... I can't do what you want me to."

Dean looked the other man over carefully before shrugging. "I honestly don't care what you do. Hell I don't usually deal with souls that aren't going my team, but The king said I brought you here so I have to figure it out. What do you want to do?". He knew that was hard, with how overwhelmed he must feel it was difficult to pick his occupation for eternity. "Alright screw the big shit, what do you want to do right now? Answer honestly, I won't be upset."

"I... I...." Lindsey began to shake. How useless was he, that he couldn't even answer a simple question like that? All Dean asked was what he wanted to do, and he couldn't even come up with an answer for it.

Unbidden, he started crying and he wiped at his eyes furiously with the back of his sleeve.

One year, all it took was one fucking year, and big shot lawyer that he was was reduced to baby talk and crying at everything. Somewhere in that collapsed core of his, he found enough embers to be angry at himself.

"I want to gain back the man I was."

"Hey," he leaned forward in his chair, trying to get the mn to look at him. "Hate to break it to you but that's not going to happen. Look at me. I was raised to kill monsters. My brother and I? Ultimate good guys, granted I was a drunk and he was a little OCD but we saved the world, we helped people. He's the king of hell, and I torture souls for a living, not to mention I'm angry pretty much constantly. Point is you don't get to be who you were again, this place changes you and there's not going back.

Silver lining? You get to make a new you. So....that's always interesting."

Lindsey looked up, his broken gaze both desperate and lost. He knew even without Dean telling him that it was impossible to recapture that man he used to be. What he wanted wasn't his loose morals or his lack of personal goal, but his confidence, his ability to deal with any situation. He needed that right now.

He angrily wiped at his eyes again. "I want to be strong... I want to stop crying!" It was the most spirit he had shown in the past several months.

He looked up pleadingly at Dean. "Can you help me?"

Dean couldn't help squirming a little in his seat, he didn't know wht to do with ths kind of thug anymore. "I...um...that really just sort of comes with time man. I can't snap my fingers and put your brain back together."

On a roll now that the ember had been sparked, Lindsey's anger tried to consume him. "It's your fault... You said three months! Or six...! That wasn't six months! That was...." He didn't even know how long it had been. All he knew was it felt never ending, it could have been eternity already for all he knew.

But he wasn't the man he used to be anymore, he couldn't dish out the anger without it lashing back at him. Even before Dean could get upset at Lindsey's outburst, he was already pulling his legs up onto the couch and curling into the same position Dean found him earlier when freed from the wall. "It was Hell..." he whispered, that ember inside him having already burnt out.

"I free you from torture....I bring you to my home, a place few other demons have been, and you shout at me," he shook his head. "I'm not even angry Lindsey, I'm just disappointed.". He snapped his fingers and they returned to where they had been before, secluded for the time being but still outside with the heat and stench and screaming.

Lindsey cringed from the sudden onslaught of being outside again and dropped his head like rebuked dog. He curled up tighter on the ground as if he could hide from it.

He couldn't even explain his outburst. There was so much rage bottled up inside him... Like a spark that he couldn't control that would ignite when given the slightest thing to burn, but just as quickly it would go out like a flash fire.

He tried to reach out for Dean with his good hand, but cowered back before he could touch the demon's leg. "I don't know... I'm sorry... I.... you said I won't be punished... I can't control it... I'm sorry, I'msorryI'msorryI'msorrry." He was miserable.

"Shhh it's ok," he knelt down to lightly stroke Lindsey's hair. "You're nt being punished, you're not going back on the rack, not if you behave better at least. Lindsey I never lied to you. I said I'd work on three months, I said hopefully six months, but when I got my boss determined to keep you on for 10 years and I have you acting like a dick when I show up....it's amazing I got you off in one. Understand? I do a lot of bad things, but I don't waste my time lying when the truth is usually much more interesting. You have to break on the rack, it's what it's there for, he'll I've seen much worse than you coming off that thing."

Dean's hand on his head was reassuring and he nodded to the demon's words. He believed him, he had nothing else to hold onto, so be believed everything Dean told him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered again when his sobs died down. "I don't know why I yelled... it's... it's inside me." Afraid that that will earn him more time on the rack though, Lindsey quickly added, "I'll try not to! I'm sorry."

And because he wanted to show how grateful he was that he got off on a year... —had it only really been just one year? It felt like eons and eons already— ...he leaned against Dean and and keened softly like a puppy. It was the basest of instincts, ancient body language that didn't require learned thought to process or do. "Thank you... thank you for taking me off."

"The anger, why do you think demons aren't exactly the nicest guys? We all went through that, most much longer than a year. Sorry to break your brain anymore but remember how I said time moves differently down here? You've been gone from Earth less than a week...four days tops.". He wrapped a comforting arm around him, "You're welcome. I just wanted some gratitude."

Lindsey hesitantly nodded his head, yes, he remembered Dean telling him that. But to say he was gone for less than a week? That got him shaking his head in denial.

"H-how? I..." It had to be eons. His mind couldn't process that he had merely been gone for a week. Or less. That the world above was still the same as he left it? He was emitting a soft whine of distress before he even knew enough to stop himself.

Some long dead part of him that had cross-wired with his insanity made him suddenly burst out in giggles. "That's less than three months, you got me off in a week."

Dean chucked, "guess you should really be thankful then, huh? I could have lawyered your ass and made it three months Earth time. Or six months Earth time, that would have been sixty years. I got you off in about three days.". He grinned down at Lindsey, continuing to pet him.

((He'll get there. Sorry my demon dean is a spazz btw, Cas never saved him and Sam didn't show up till a little over a year after Dean died....so he was there a long time.))

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I passed out mid post

I've done that more times than I care to admit

It happens.... especially when you're trying to tag with a phone in bed.

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Awww dean wants to keep puppy!lindsey for always

He probably can. I don't think Lindsey's turning lawyer anytime soon.

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