▸ post your character ◂ ▸ you're now in a universe where destined soul mates exist! ◂ ▸ rng for the type of au and for the ~situation~ ◂ ▸ tag around ♥ ◂
type of au; 1. tats, your character has a tattoo of the first words the love of their life will say to them 2. familiars, your character has an animal tattoo representing their soul mate on them 3. glow, the first time your character sees their soul mate, their chests glow! 4. world in color, life is literally black and white, until you see your soul mate for the first time 5. choose your own, i'm definitely missing a milly because i'm lazy, pick your own
1. First Meeting: You'll feel the spark almost on first sight. Yes, he's not your type. No, she's is a villain and your a hero. It doesn't matter. You can't chose these things. 2. Not Accepting: No, this person can't be it! They're so...so not what you've expected! 3. We Belong Together: You've decided to come together, like it's intended, and you're reaping the benefits. 4. Like Ships in the Night: The obligatory sex option. The two of you are cementing your bond in the most traditional of ways, and you'll soon learn that sex with others can't compare to sex with someone who's completely yours. 5. Stronger as Two: In battle or in life, the two of you combined are unstoppable. 6. There's Someone Else You've met your soulmate...but you're with someone else. Now that you know your other half is out there for sure, can you keep that up? 7. Love Will Tear Us Apart: Someone is hurting one half of the pair, and it's bringing pain to both of you. Maybe you can protect or save the other. 8. Not Fortune's Fool: You're flying solo. You have no intention of becoming a matched pair. Forget about what anybody else says, just focus on you. 9. Soulmates Never Die: Except when they do. Somehow, yours has passed on or is dying in your arms, leaving you alone in the world. How do you feel? 10. WILDCARD: Choose your own.
( her gaze stays heavily on him, as if weighted by the entire threshold of the force, keeping their eyes together. she can feel him keeping her out, all the doors to his mind locked tightly with keys and chains, boarded up, sealed. protected. at the gated outlet, leading up to a moat, she doesn't push the bars. instead, she leans her hand to it. requesting permission. )
Yes, you are.
( she wouldn't think to deny it. she has as much of a reason to hate the empire as anyone, and she's seen firsthand what the military is capable of. exploding planets with the wave of a hand, killing without remorse in search of a simple bb unit. lives treated like they're nothing. ben killed the padawans at his disposal like his grandfather before him. he attempted to kill luke skywalker, living legend.
but there's depth, there. children aren't born cruel. he wasn't always a slave to the dark the way he'd been a week ago, and rey can't help but feeling a certain way for him, try as she may not to. how can her heart not go out to the bleeding son? )
If you're so irredeemable, why are you here, on your pathway to redemption? I would know if you planned to betray us. ( it's not a question she expects an answer to, and instead she barrels on, an onslaught of bitten back comments and words all falling out of her now, from over the past few days. she settles on something she finds more important. ) Why can't you sleep at night? I feel you here in your cot, restless. Is it the guilt? After all you've put your mother and father and the Rebellion through, I'd expect some.
( eyebrows furrow as she stares at him, nostrils flaring as she sucks in a deep breath, willing herself to take the grief out of her eyes. upon poking at what she can of their bond, she shakes her head again, coming up blank. )
It's not guilt. No, it's — you feel like ... ( she sniffs loudly, swallowing something thick. ) an outsider.
( or maybe she's reading her own heart, her own emotions, there and bare for him to observe. she doesn't want to draw more connections between them, but she'd have to be blind not to. their lack of love is something they'll always have in common but rey just isn't sure why, when one of them has parents, and one of them doesn't. even split up, han and leia aren't terrible people.
surely they loved their son, right? love him. surely all parents do? )
[ He's nearly amused at her response. They have some common ground, it appears. And once she begins on her analysis of him and his motives, it gives him time to wipe at his eyes and forehead briefly. Fruitlessly trying to stave off a headache. All of these little motions and tells have only become more unveiled to her in the past few days given their proximity and Rey's penchant for barging in on him whenever she pleased.
It felt as though the moment she balked at him yawning a few days back that some mystique about him had been broken. In a strange way it was liberating, in other ways terrifying. Especially given how much of an open book she was. It made her far too easy a mark-- he thinks Luke can see that as well as he can. Just as Ben Solo had been a young naïve fool and easy prey to the dark.
He continues to let her talk as he notes how it's raining outside, a cold breeze bursts through the cracks in the doors and walls, and he's awake enough now to note that Rey is actually wet. Something which had only been dully noted by a sleep deprived mind now becomes as clear as day and he feels a bit like a bantha's behind.
He tugs the blanket that was still across his form and manages to toss it around Rey in something shockingly smooth for a socially stunted fascist terrorist. ]
I am an outsider. [ He corrects her softly. And whether he simply didn't hear her other questions or doesn't find them intriguing enough to answer-- he'll respond in kind. ] Why are you here?
[ She seems to be chasing a dozen different threads of thought at once, dancing around whatever question she really wants answered. Whether she's too nervous to speak plainly or afraid to hear an answer she doesn't want-- he isn't sure yet. ]
( there's rigidness in the air as ben moves — not because rey thinks so little of his intelligence that she thinks he'd hurt her now, but because she learned at a young age that you never turn your back on a snake's fangs. this snake's particular bite is especially unpredictable, and so her shoulders tense up with the movement slicing through the air, nearly flinching away from the skin-warmed blanket she finds over her shoulders. rey breaks their gaze when she looks down at the threadbare cloth over her, the scent of ben floating up her nostrils.
if recounting all the lessons rey learned when she was orphan with pointy elbows and a mean gaze, she'd name not trusting free kindness among the most important. people who have nothing are rarely made sacrificial from the good will of man — why has the cruel man she's known as kylo ren offered her anything? what's to be gained?
trust, she thinks suspiciously. but she still tightens her grips on the sides of the cloth, bringing it up to press against her cold lips. idly, she toes off her shoes and nudges them towards the fire to dry. )
To bring Skywalker to the Rebel base, and win the war.
( it takes effort to be this obtuse. she knows it's not really what he's asking. why are you here in his room, not why are you here on the island. rey's eyes move between each of his, realizing in some capacity that she'll never find the answers to the questions she doesn't ask. )
And — ( she breathes out a shivering, tooth-rattling sigh, rubbing her nose against the blanket. ) why didn't you kill your father? Just, tell me that one thing. What changed you?
sorry for the wait on tags. I've been doing the art for the fantasy pins
[ A gentle resigned sigh. He should have expected no less, really. Of course she's avoiding the direct response-- which tells him a good deal about her motives. No pure intentions, there's a self-centered reasoning for her interest in him. He honestly can't say he minds it, even as she tries to actively reject it.
There's a long pause after she asks her questions, he lets it fall to the floor and rest there as his own gaze turns back to the fire. Han Solo's words ring in his head-- the moment has replayed over and over like a broken record and he wonders if he chose the right option.
Really-- it's been comical how much he's avoided his father, given the circumstances. It's clear Han knows the weight of his actions both in that moment and in the past as he flew away from his family time after time. So there have been bumbling moments where he attempts to connect with Ben, but it's clear there's still a divide. One which is certainly tearing Han apart (Which, remember, we aren't worried about him slowly putting the pieces together in the falcon right now. That's none of our business), and really on Kylo's end...
He's just not sure how to navigate this divide.
Afraid to reach out for fear of being rejected again, angry at things his parents can't fix now, and still believing that he doesn't really deserve this chance.
He presses his mouth in a line, his jaw ticks to the side as he answers, eyes still fixated upon the embers which jump from the flames. ]
My father told me the truth, I no longer had a place in the First Order.
[ Not the entirety of the truth, dancing around it really. But it's hard enough to vocalize this much. Saying that his master intended to kill him, that he was being used. That he hadn't really been valuable or special. Just another tool. ]
every time u apologize a small part of my guts die. also congrats on the talent omg
( he looks at the fire, but rey looks at him. micro expressions to read, if she isn't allowed to sink her teeth into their bond and taste what he's feeling, what goes unsaid between the breath of his words. her image of him is already wildly different from whatever her first impression was — and she feels whatever tendrils of intimidation that still wrapped around her heart slowly release as ben speaks. it's not much for an admittance, but it speaks volumes to rey. the purse of his lips, the glint in his eyes.
i no longer had a place. because ben has never had a place, has never exceeded his welcome from where he's been made a burden. rey understands the drive towards that unattainable goal of being useful. dark or light — acceptance doesn't have a side. if her parents where influenced by the dark by the time they came back for her, she can't really promise she'd make the right decision either. ( haha. ) )
You could have a place among the Rebellion.
( she says it hoarsely, whispered like she doesn't want luke to hear it, from however far away he is. she could say your information on the inner workings of the first order could change the tide, but — he's more than the sum of what he knows. he has all the potential in the world to make the right decision, every capability in his conflicted heart to steer away from the dark path.
rey knows this. she wants it from him, but she's not going to force him. his journey has to come from himself. )
You could have a place with me. ( it is quickly corrected, the real secret hiding beneath the muck. where's the sense in being two lonely people? ) If you'd let me in.
omg now i gotta apologize so we can destroy ur guts so u have no pain. and LMF I'm not that talented
[ His eyes flick back to her-- she seems exceptionally small sitting there next to the fire. Wrapped up in a blanket and looking entirely torn apart by what she faced in the dark. He hasn't been entirely keeping close tabs on whatever "training" Luke has offered her (which he knows is close to none), but he does know enough to know she has exceptional talent. She'd already pushed him out of her mind once, and he'd seen her go through various movements and routines with Anakin's blade.
He does also note they eerily mirrored his own, but he supposes that's just another feature of the dyad.
Still-- trust is something which is hard to extend. Harder still when running on virtually no sleep and less than ideal circumstances. And having some part of him begging to give in to her just means he paradoxically knows to trust his urges less. Especially with out any safe place to land.... ]
Has Luke explained what happened that night?
[ It's a hushed subject around Kylo. Anytime it's brought up, they all dance around the topic. Han not wanting to break the tense peace and Luke-- All Ben can see in his eyes is shame.
But he doesn't know what Rey's been told. He can only assume that Luke has said something. ]
( progress is progress. if ben is offering up information, rey perks in response to it, eyes somewhat dumbly huge as she regards him. he is a man who doesn't say more than what's necessary, born and bred on the battlefield of politics and war tactics. if ben sees fit to tell her, he has the entirety of her attention, facing him as best as she can with the blanket still pressed to her mouth.
it's almost gossipy. she scoots in halfway towards him, conspiratorially shaking her head, as if afraid the porgs in the windowsill might tell luke of this — betrayal, would he call it? her believing him? her wanting to? )
He said you killed them. And that you must've thought you killed him, collapsing the temple. He ... ( her eyes squint, looking for the exact memory. if ben wants, he'll see it through their bond. ) said he failed you. That the Dark already had you, that he couldn't stop it.
( inevitable, she almost says, but it'd be her word and not his. her expression softens at she recalls the whole — everything, about the situation. inevitable, and so he gave up. inevitable, and he let the dark have ben, writing him off as a bad apple. just another adult who failed ben solo. )
LOL... WEEPS I'm not that gr8. there is plenty left. I am thinking of making reylo pin art tho....
[ It is honestly flattering, in a way. Watching her come alive when he reveals any sliver of detail. And somehow this felt earned. She'd been cold and stand offish at first (understandable), and then once she'd worked through that and realized he was actually not plotting to murder the entire Resistance from the inside out (and don't doubt. It had been a suicidal temptation. He didn't like feeling like a caged animal) she'd been carefully toeing the line and attempting to get him to open his mouth and spill the truth to her.
Which really had been a little aggravating given his own struggle within himself spiritually, mentally, emotionally. But in this quiet moment he does realize he appreciates it nonetheless.
Which is the reason he opts for the cold truth of the matter. ]
No. [ A baseline answer to the entire interpretation of the event. And the entire night is burned so vividly into his mind that the bond hums around them in-sync. As if to take her there. A chilly little hut with a too small cot which Ben (younger, in padawan clothing, tiny scrolls of jedi truths neatly stacked upon a table beside him with his hilt near by)-- ] That night as I slept -- [ His voice almost seems disembodied, but this is the fun of the bond. His memory is so clear it's nearly indisputable. ] --I woke suddenly. When I turned to look behind me, I saw my uncle. Lightsaber engaged and raised above him, ready to bring it down on my neck.
[ She'll see Luke. His form lit only by the scant moonlight and his green blade. A face filled with malice. Ben scrambles, grabbing his hilt and igniting the blade to defend himself before reaching out with his other hand and internally begging the Force to protect him. The hut grumbles to nothing around them when all at once the vision ends and it takes another moment for the sound of the rain howling outside to break past the strength of their bond. ]
( it's a good puzzle piece, that sets a lot of thoughts into their rightful place. she also instinctively, for a few seconds through the bond, absolutely doesn't believe him at all.
denial is part of the grieving process, though, and tonight she's grieving the legend of luke skywalker. kill your heroes. for a moment, the memory looked so real in her mind's eye, that she shot up from where she was seated, as if her hands could hold together the threatening break of the hut's roof, the same way she tried to use these hands to keep together an inherently broken family. it's equally successful both times. denial seeps out and anger gets welcomed in, layers on top of layers of it, a stark disappointment that burns her so deeply inside, she forgets to be freezing. his eyes looked so haunted, like the dark was in luke long before it ever touched ben.
he crafted the terror, then. the final unloving person who broke the ben's back. rey's always been jealous of him for having a family, but for the first time she has to wonder if no family at all is better than a family who had and gave up on you. )
Is that true? He — ( for just a small second, she's inconsolable. luke lied to her, because it was easier than accepting his blame in kylo ren's construction. but. she remembers herself, her few days of training, and takes a deep breath instead. lets the anger run out of her like water from a stream, and instead —
well. most of the anger. she only decides not to fist fight luke skywalker right now, because she'd rather spend her time with ben. after a second, she steps forward, takes a seat at the foot of his bed of hay. she looks up at him, almost apologetically.
maybe it's not fair. in all honesty, she doesn't know how not to expect the best from ben, her standards high and through the roof. but — trying to kill a boy in his sleep? is that why he can't sleep? )
I will protect you. ( she swallows, dryly. hesitantly, a hand reaches forward, towards him. ) In the night. So you can sleep. ( if he lets her, her hand is going to find his cheek, ice cold fingers brushing his temple. ) He made a mistake, thinking your decision was made. You've already proven him wrong by being here. I will — I'm on your side. Ben.
U DONT EVEN KNO HOW I DRAW I COULD BE DOIN STICK FIGURES
[ The anger flares up within her like a flashbang. Quick and passionate and yet quickly clamped down upon. It's surprising, really-- somewhat touching in a way. No one had believed him as they had wandered out in the middle of the night to seem him amidst the destruction. Everyone had insisted he'd seen wrong or it had been something which could be discussed rationally and--
well.
Seeing his uncle had done nothing to make any of this seem rational. Luke had yet to approach him to talk about things privately and he'd done much the same. The fact that Rey was willing to take this seriously enough to offer protection?
He's honestly a little thrown, maybe amused, even. But the amusement dissolves away once her fingers brush his cheek and his mind whirs into a different direction entirely. It's hard to quantify or define. Certainly he wasn't an idiot enough to not think he was attracted to her, but there's a spike of panic given that no one but Snoke sought to invade his personal space within the past few years andd each time that happened it generally ended in a sharp reprimand, an insult, and sometimes being physically thrown back. Made to suffer for being weak.
After a moment he calms enough to not be on guard like some alleycat, letting those emotions drain out of him-- he even thinks of giving in and speaking frankly on why he really is up every night when--
Oh.
Remember when I said you shouldn't worry about what Han is doing? And that seemed like some Blatant Foreshadowing. Well don't you worry. His time has come.
Han, for his part, doesn't seem all that thrown by how close Rey and Ben are. Really, he's probably noted with Chewbacca that Rey seems to have attached herself to his son and seems overtly interested so. You know. Leave them to themselves to let things heat up naturally. So he feels no need to comment on how snuggly they look at the moment.
But his gaze is a little distant and his clothes are soaked. Apparently he's been listening in for a moment. On his way to try and ask Luke more questions to weasel the truth from him (because lord knows trying to ask Ben anything, let alone what happened between him and Luke, has resulted in stonewalls), instead hearing Rey and Ben speaking on the very topic he was most interested in. Of course he decided to listen in.
'You know,' He says this and Kylo looks towards his father suddenly, eyes a bit wide as he realizes he didn't even sense his father's entrance. 'I thought the story didn't add up. You always loved when your Uncle Luke would come visit.'
The rain seems to grow louder, the dark doesn't help with deciphering Han's expression any. Kylo, for his part, is stuck between hanging back and wondering what the fuck he should be doing right now.
'And all this happened and--' Han lets out a shuddering breath as his mind goes through a catalogue of memories. Of Leia's guilt, the shame in Luke's face, the first moment he heard the news of what happened while he had made a run on the Falcon and he was forced to deal with the grief of his broken family alone. 'Is what you said true?'
Kylo is caught off-guard. Again. Low self-worth. No one believed his story before. Why would anyone believe that Luke Skywalker was capable of such a thing-- ] Yes.
[ Han's expression melts between guilt, sorrow, shame-- and a million other little microexpressions that Kylo doesn't think he's ever seen his father make before. All of that resolves into something resolute and hard.
'Okay.' The smuggler's response is curt as he pushes himself out of the doorway of the hut and into the rain--
And appears to be making his way straight to Luke's hut.
Yeah. Uh. Kylo is stunned. He turns back to Rey to see how she's reacting to this situation, because What ???DO?/? thEY/? do? NOW??? THERE IS ABOUT TO BE AN OLD MAN FIGHT. HE DOESNT THINK AARP COVERS THIS SHIT. But either way, he's going to be pushing up to his feet to try and go chase his father down. Mostly because he's fairly sure Leia will slap all of them if either her brother or husband are injured due to this maddness. ]
u doubt my commitment to reylo if you think i wouldnt buy a stick figure pin of them. show me!!
( ben's warm under her fingertips, for a moment. warm and real. not the malicious kylo ren, far more phantom than person, in the weird nightmares she has when she seldom sleeps, invading her mind, stealing things she didn't know she had to offer. maps, memories, old forgotten things. he's just a boy looking at her. big eyes, a mole by his nose, vulnerable by minuscule degrees but more than she's ever seen in him before. vaguely puppy dog esque — one who's been kicked around one too many times, in need of a cuddle or a good ear scratch.
but, on han's announced presence, her hand snaps back in a startled and childish way, as if she was caught something she definitely should not have been doing. she's not especially apologetic — any brief shame she felt is of her own creation, and one that she chases out soon after. she is not in the hot seat for showing ben kindness. the rest of the galaxy is for their lack of it. still, she keeps her mouth shut and her hands to herself as ben and han trade back and forth, watching with interest as it plays out. han didn't know either, which means they were both purposely kept in the dark — maybe to some degree, because throwing hands was both their immediate reactions.
she can't help but think it's overwhelmingly Toxic Masculinity of him. she gapes, a little. it is not obvious that repairing your shattered relationship with your son is more important than fighting about the past?
looking to ben, their confusion gets mirrored between them, but it's clear they'll have to spring into action, to avoid some grandpas throwing out their hips. up on her feet, she's already out the door, jogging in the direction han took off in, bare feet sinking into mud as her footfalls hit the earth. despite this, she keeps pace with ben — he has long legs but she's fast, so they even out. by the time they make it to the hut, an altercation is already happening inside, and rey throws open the door, both of them stumbling inwards.
— my son?!, han finishes up after a long rant, apparently, red in the face from yelling. luke for his part looks relatively serene. sad. quiet in that frustrating way when you just want someone to be angry, or caught off guard, or anything other than the model of perfect jedi patience in the face of a storm. he can't be. he's had a lot of time to think about this.
i'm sorry. to han. and luke lifts his eyes to where ben is in front of rey, an ocean of emotions stuck in the old creases and wrinkles of his eyes. i'm sorry. i — )
Tell the truth. ( rey interrupts, somewhat coldly. chewbacca is currently the most tolerable man on this island, and rey is a little bit over the testosterone in the air. she stares at him, disappointed. a legend shattered to pieces. ) Admit to what you did, to your padawan. The lie you told me. Say it.
( i sensed darkness, he says after a sigh, eyes shifting from the three faces all watching him, like there's an active bomb in the room but he isn't sure which direction it'll come from. i'd seen it, in flashes during his training — during your training, ben. by the time i looked inside, it was beyond what i ever imagined. snoke had already taken his heart to the dark side. he would bring destruction and pain and death at the end of everything i love because of what he would become, and in the briefest moment of pure instinct i thought i could stop it. haunted, he shakes his head. it passed like a fleeting shadow. and i was left with shame, with consequence. and the last thing i saw were the eyes of a frightened boy, whose master had failed him.
stillness takes over as the words sink in, everyone ramped up with too many emotions to call tribute to all of them all at once. rey swallows, shaking her head — his excuse doesn't change anything. his weakness still created kylo ren. )
Clearly you were wrong about him. ( of course rey breaks the quiet. she frowns at luke, eyes still bloodshot from crying, but she's calmer now, more confident in her feelings. ) And he's stronger than you anticipated, because he made the right choice, even without your guidance. Even with your failure. What does that say about the Jedi?
( honestly, han opens his fucking mouth to agree with her and start yelling, but rey holds out her hand in a bitch, shut up kind of way, shushing him with a deep rooted glare. )
It's easy to show concern now, when you have someone other than yourself to blame, for the failings of your parenting. ( it's all kind of awkward to be having this conversation while directly in front of ben, but Listen, once rey gets started, there's no force alive that can stop her. ) When I met you, you were smuggling like some child who ran from home trying to make quick money. You had thirty years to get your act together, but you haven't changed at all. How dare either of you look at him with disdain, as if your neglect wasn't what allowed the Dark to sink in. How can you blame him?
( she huffs, almost out of breath. she opens her mouth as if to say and another thing! but instead shuts it, shaking her head. ) Actually, I can't. ( she reaches forward, grabs a hold on ben's bicep with a gentle squeeze, saying through their bond, stay or go, it's your choice. i'm sticking with you. )
Edited (i got distracted rewatching tlj in the middle and forgot to spellcheck oops) 2020-11-20 02:46 (UTC)
U GOTTA FIND MY ART ON UR OWN. CACKLES EVILY INTO MY CHEESE CAKE
[ Kylo's honestly not too sure what to do when he bursts in on ... this geriatric fight. He does idly note that Luke is most certainly holding back-- despite whatever vow Luke made to keep himself sealed off from the Force, he isn't defending himself at all from Han's blows. Which, admittedly, aren't anything like what he could inflict in his prime, but it does say a lot to the amount of grief Luke feels. And Kylo isn't sure what to do with that. He wants to feel some kind of satisfaction, a sense of superiority or maybe resolution, but instead-- everything is still mired deeply within the conflict he feels. He's always felt.
His eyes connect with Luke's and Kylo wonders. Wonders if Luke knows what he had wanted on some level. Realizes the path he had blazed as Kylo Ren-- an immature cry for help. Hoping the galaxy's hero-- no. His hero, Luke Skywalker, would come charging in with his laser sword, ready to save his soul... even if that meant he had to die at his hands.
It's not really something he's thought about actively, but there's a growing realization in the back of his mind that this had been the natural path that he thought he was going on and-- Stars. There wasn't enough energy within him to digest any of this. To deal with any of this. He knows Snoke can feel the weakness in his armor and is attempting to claw it apart, at least if the growing migraine from ignoring his former master's call is anything to go by. He hardly even notes what Rey says, a ringing overtakes his ears-- he's only brought back to their space with Rey's touch--
And then Han places a hand on his shoulder. Thoroughly chastized, but he does recognize the look on Ben's face. One he'd seen before and stuck his head in the ground trying to insist to himself things would work out for the better.
This is overwhelming-- just a whole lot at once. Kylo doesn't drink on principle, but now is definitely feeling like a good time to start. He wonders if he's supposed to say something, but Luke takes up the slack.
'Ben, I'm sorry,' His voice is sincere, knowing that his words may not even reach his nephew right now-- but that they are words he should have said much sooner. 'I failed you.'
It hangs in the air, suspended and Kylo is reeling. Luke hadn't been the one to fail, Kylo knows that this was his path all along. These had been his choices. Worse, he knows that he only went with his father out of fear-- he's not sure he believes in the cause of the Resistance, and he certainly doesn't claim to be a Jedi. Rey speaks of him as though his choice had been made out of good intent and that he was no longer mired in the dark but--
This is when Chewbacca bursts in. Howling. Loudly. Screaming at Han and Luke for fighting and everything else that's going on. Kylo recognizes it for what it is. A respite. An offering of escape for Kylo and Rey. Han is pulled from his son and Kylo pushes out of the hut-- really unsure of where to go. But his own hut seems as good a place as any right now. So that's where his feet will take him unless Rey redirects him in some other direction. He's taking up her offer of sticking together for the moment. ]
( rey's only had a sampler size of anger before now. she's always taken most things in stride, understanding of her parents, accepting of scarce rations, dutifully unbothered by peeling sun burns. but she can't help it — she's furious on ben's behalf. the pattering rain outside doesn't hold a candle to the way she storms out of the hut, following after ben like a loyal guard dog. she's done with other people, for now. sometimes the loneliness feels more familiar than people crowding her.
ben is quickly becoming an exception to the rule, though. it's not like she'd leave him right now anyway, and as he takes a step in towards his hut she hesitates, running over a plan in her head. clearly, they can be disturbed there, eavesdropped on. ordinarily it wouldn't be an issue, but han and luke deserve to sit in their grief for a bit while they get their priorities straight — and rey wants to be alone. with ben. obviously.
so she darts quickly forward, her hand wrapping around his wrist and tugging him in a certain direction. the rain is too loud to talk over, but they don't really need words. she's pleased when he doesn't fight her, and they can take off away from camp, towards one of the many secret nooks of the island. on the way, rey picks up dry kindling under large canopies of trees, tucking them into the basically soaked through drapes of her clothes. trying to be pragmatic, not fully succeeding.
the earth gives way to a crater, some several feet dug into the ground — hollowed out around the sides to make some kind of underground room, exposed in the middle to the elements. rey hops down, using the force to buffer her landing. the center of the room is still soaked by rainfall, but the flooring is harder rock and crystal beneath her feet. a prayer room. bare, sun bleached cushions all sit equal distances away following the center hole, facing inward. even in the chaos of the storm, it seems peaceful. even jedis like to soften their butts before levitating in their meditation, and rey can almost imagine this place in it's hay day, full of people.
it works anyway, because ancient and half dust cushions are still more comfortable than hay beds. rey sets to fussing, making a cushion pile near a far wall that's bigger than ben sized, using extra pillows and blankets found in a shelf carved out of rock to make it as unimpressively lush as she can. she sets up a fire beside it, using luke's saber to ignite it. in the rain, she sets out a basin, collecting what water she can. she's going to have to deal with her muddy feet eventually, so she should be praised for her foresight.
see, it's a very homey, comfortable, horrible place. but at least it's away, almost on an island of their own. whatever ben's been doing while she set up — maybe there are scrolls or texts or something of interest to look at — eventually rey calls his attention, pointing to the pillow pile. )
Lay down?
lmfao have a hint: if u stalk thru my journal you could use the info there to find it probs
[ He's quiet as she leads him to a new spot. Mind distracted, head hurting, feeling a little sick to his stomach-- just the usual bout of "This is what happens when you dump someone into all of their traumatic triggers while their abusive former master is practically banging at the gateway of their mind and you still haven't really had a proper sleep in more than a week". But everything seems to be a bit of a blur until he suddenly sees the space she's entered. He hesitates if only because these spaces built for Jedi seem to judge him. Perhaps it's paranoid of him to think of it that way, but the caretakers of this island hardly seem happy to have a dark side user in their midst.
Still, he follows her, leveraging himself down in much the same way she had before studying the walls of the room. The ancient languages and patterns which had become a staple in their lives today. Changed, but still familiar. He runs his fingers across the indentations before the noise of Rey's..... Nesting catching his attention. He's honestly amazed at the mass of pillows and cushions she's collected, a chaotic little nook. He's a bit puzzled and then, naturally, she gives her invitation.
It's a bit comical, given how mussed they both look. Her dirty feet and hair plastered to whatever skin it can find, and he.... He still has some hay tucked into his hair and quite honestly he's freezing his ass off. Rey should be very disappointed that he does not have a white Henley on because my lord it would be a glorious sight. Nah. He's got a black one on because he cannot live without expressing his Edgy-ness.
Whatever. He'll set the brief amusement aside and step over to his new Bigger Than Ben Pillow Pile. Thankfully he had kept his shoes on in all of this, so once he reaches it, he can just plop down and move to slide each boot off so he doesn't get the mud within the ~nest~. ]
You don't need to protect me from Luke.
[ He says that as he loosens his second boot, his fingers are a bit numb, thus it's taking some effort. ]
BROOOOOOOOOO i am sherlock holmes UR ART IS AMAZING WTF 'STICK FIGURES' IM GONNA
rey takes herself a kneeling seat beside the proclaimed head of the bed, watching him carefully. she only remembers to be cold when she seems him fumble, and even then it's a distant, far off thing. ice is numbing, and she has more important things to think about than her cold — his, for example. taking a sweeping glance across the room, she comments almost idly, )
But I do need to protect you?
( the implication doesn't escape her, and neither is it new information. in the last hour or so, she's had her priorities deeply meddled with, completely spun on their head. she intends to protect him whether he needs it or not, because that's just the kind of person she is. bleeding heart and hardened fists.
standing up, she swallows, looking back at the shelves. )
You'll get sick if you sleep in wet clothes. I'll — ( she frowns, having pretty much already ransacked the place to make ben a comfy spot. ) Maybe there's something. Or, there's blankets. I won't — ( look at your dick if you wanna sleep in the buff?? judge you for being naked?? hmm ) Let me just. Look around.
Oh if the art u found is amazing it definitely isn't me then. PROBS SOMEONE ELSE
[ He manages to kick off the offending boot after some effort. Really, his entire being is soaked through and he's attempting to make sense of the chaotic little nook. Then she just. Tries to get him to strip???
He presses his mouth into a line and shoots her a look. Trying to judge how much she's actually thinking about the words she's currently saying. He's not really offended by the idea of nudity, but-- you know. Seems kind of excessive. ]
You're wetter than I am. [ Innuendo? Maybe. (at least from the mun) But he's also being practical. ] We'll both die of hypothermia if we decide to strip in the middle of a storm.
[ He's lived through worse. At the very least he isn't in thick insulated padding and armor. Once those items got soaked through, it would take ages to dry. And while his father's fashion sense wasn't entirely to his own taste-- the natural fibers dried much faster.
His eyes scan the area and Rey has pretty much picked it clean. There wasn't much more for them to hoard here, which meant the other option was to go back through the storm to find more clothes from the Falcon and-- given what's going on between Luke and Han, seems like a hot spot of "no thanks". So tempting as it may be, it isn't an option. Especially because they'd just be soaked, again.
A soft sigh, his jaw ticks in annoyance at their situation, he scoots over minutely. Sitting up enough so that he can reach out a hand. ] Sit with me.
[ It's an order more than a request. He still has to work on his ... whole tone, really.
Oh and yeah, he just bounced over that whole "protection" thing. Completely. Just avoiding that topic because why would he ever make openly discussing his issues easy? ]
( soaked clothes are still soaked clothes, so it's not really a point to stand on — but she has no intention of stripping. wetness does not matter, in the game of catching a cold, and the chill in her bones is secondary to taking care of ben after the night he's had. repairing little broken pieces, hand stitching him back together. honestly, having him to focus on is making her own terrible night feel a lot better. she has a lot of feelings on everyone deserving good things, and seems intent to drown ben in that, currently.
unfortunately there is no jedi closet available, and even then, any clothes would probably too moth eaten and hole-filled for actual use. turning back to him, she eyes his hand warily for all of a moment, before taking a few heavy steps in to meet him. her hand is small where it fits against his, palms aligned. staring at it, rey nods heavily, moving to take a seat beside him. )
You're freezing. ( as if either of them are at all unaware of it. hands still touching, she pulls ben's numb fingers closer to the fire, rolling them between her thumbs. working feeling back into them. after a second and a fond look, one of her hands moves up to his hair, an affectionate knot falling between her brows. ) You have hay in your hair. ( she will just start plucking at it. )
Edited (WHOOPS I changed my mind) 2020-11-20 08:06 (UTC)
sees ur pm. ten years later. AND STILL REFUSES UR LOVE
[ He decides to not commit suicide by pointing out how she is acting like a petulant child by stating that she refuses to go to sleep. She does actually listen to his command and follow it easily. So that takes the edge off of any bite he has. She sinks in and if she had any intention of maintaining some distance, it's immediately thwarted by the pillows dipping under her weight as they're situated together. Kylo doesn't really mind all that much, or even acknowledges the fact that their nudged so closely together. He lets her manipulate his limbs freely.
Apparently this huge baby does, in fact, like being babied.
He'd get cross if anyone pointed that out, however.
The next comments, however, do help some in distracting his mind. Especially given it's in conjunction with her hands wrapping around his.
Oh. You know. Until she points out his hair accessories. And then starts plucking it all out with out permission.
A soft huff of breath as he comprehends what his life is right now. ]
I may have been able to take it out if I hadn't had an unexcepted visitor.
[ The quip isn't meant seriously... but he's still gotta hassle her for shits and giggles tbh ]
Edited (we can save the next part of this tag for later.) 2020-11-20 09:25 (UTC)
IM DUMBBBBBBB youre right u should not accept my love
( it's only really apparent how close they are once rey sees how easily she can reach up and touch him, and by then it's too late to act awkward about it, so. she opts to feel weird later, if the weird feeling ever sets in. it's distracting for her, too, to be plucking all the stark yellow bits from his inky black hair, fingers all tucking it back into its proper place. it's not full of hay. still she lingers even after the job is done, fingers mapping out the thick lines of his expertly done braid. no one here could've done it but him.
rey squints at him, although there's a strange amusement behind the general distrusting look. she rolls her eyes. )
Sure, it's my fault. ( barely there fingertips touch the height of his cheek. ) I like the braid, so I'm glad I interrupted your nightly ritual of not sleeping. I might never have seen it otherwise.
( is this the weird feeling? adoration in her chest? she pulls her hand back when it feels like a little too much, letting herself get lost back in warming him up as best as she can. a good distraction, from him and her own wayward thoughts, brought back to the crackling of firewood. taking care of other people is like a second nature, to her. )
I don't need to protect you from Luke?
( if she asks serious enough questions, maybe she can ignore the weird flush spreading on her freckled cheeks, complimented only by the blueing of her cupid's bow. )
[ It's hard to know what to do with the affection she shares with him freely. One part of him wants to fall into it, the other wants to flinch away. The whole idea that their connection is something forged within the Force should simplify matters, but he can admit he doesn't have enough experience to know what that actually means beyond the fact that they're connected. And, as always, there's the bone deep fear that she'll leave him, it's a learned pattern by now.
But she preens him, brushes cold fingers across his cheek and his eyes find hers. He can see her sincerity, feel it through their bond. He doesn't react to her embarrassment. There isn't a need to needle at it for now. And before his mind can dare drift to other ideas, she speaks again and breaks the spell which had been temporarily cast around them. ]
He hasn't attempted to murder me yet.
[ There's a sardonic edge to that, as though it's supposed to be a joke. Which, honestly, given his sense of humor it kind of is.
But he had been afraid of being dragged to Luke's before. His mother and father eventually realized it given his prickly demeanor and absolute rejection of discussing anything which happened between them. But once he had been packed upon the Falcon and arrived on this isolated planet-- within the first few hours that fear had drained away.
No longer was Luke the phantom of his fall, or the untouchable beacon of light. He could recognize well enough that Luke was as beaten and defeated as he felt. Honestly, he had to wonder what Luke thought of this result, if this was anything like what he had wanted to achieve.
But the plain fact of the matter was if Luke had wanted to kill him, the best time would have been near immediately after the Falcon had landed. Even if Luke had cut himself off from the Force, Kylo knew his uncle was someone to be reckoned with. Being a crazed hermit on a lonely island didn't really change that.... Honestly, he was probably stronger in some areas given his unabomber approach to escaping society to repent.
But if Luke was no one to worry about, Kylo knows Rey will wonder what's going on. Why he can't sleep. He can't bring himself to invent a fake response up on the spot, his head is throbbing and he's exhausted. So, she'll get her wish. ]
Snoke is trying to enter my mind-- I believe he intends on digging into yours as well. [ A beat before he decides to clarify further ] Through our connection.
[ He hopes that isn't some huge revelation for her. Of course Supreme Leader Snoke would be interested in having a chokehold on the other half of Ben Solo's Dyad. Kylo has to wonder if Snoke saw the connection between them and had intended to exploit it. ...Well. He doesn't need to wonder. He knows in his gut that it's true. ]
NO BC IM DUMB at least accept my compliments if not my love
( the unimpressed half glare she eyes over at ben is explanation enough of what she thinks on his sense of humor — either the mention of his death, or the timing of it making the whole thing very unamusing. part of her is amazed he makes jokes at all, but she'll explore that more later, when they aren't riding the high of a tumultuous evening. when they aren't in the middle of having a pretty important conversation.
she knows snoke by name and little else. aware of ben's connection to him before he switched allegiance, but unaware of anything else about him — where he comes from, who he is. the grip he has on ben's soul. that he looks like a greasy, cracked testicle. rey tilts her head in ben's direction, a slow frown turning down the corners of her mouth. why would he be interested in her? she's no one. )
How does he know we're Dyads? ( rey found out a few days ago, and she's still trying to learn what that means. for a second, she wonders if snoke would explain it to her, and promise not to do any — nefarious villain stuff. sometimes it's okay to give people the benefit of the doubt ( when they're hot, like ben ) but sometimes you've got to put your foot and decide no, fascism is bad. ) Did you know? Before.
( probably, it would be easy to suspect he's been siphoning off information to him, like some undercover spy business. rey doesn't have the heart to pretend like it's true — she can read ben's reflective sincerity in the force like reading her own thoughts, painting a picture clear cut like the image before her now. a man on a bed, letting himself be held by her. not pulling away.
mostly, she's just curious if their bond was obvious to him in their first meeting — that they were different, special. it's not the most important question, just the one that takes her immediately. her priorities get knocked back into place after a second. )
Wait, so, you're ... saying that you aren't sleeping, because you're trying to protect me from him? ( she tosses his hand back into his lap and gestures for the other one, giving it the same treatment. really all she's doing is putting it by the fire, which he's very capable of doing on his own, but if he doesn't call attention to it, neither will she. ) Why?
[ If Kylo has any protest for Rey being grabby with his hands, he's not expressing it. Though, having his own hand 'tossed' back into his lap with earn a bit of a look. Vaguely. Possibly amused. But given the severity of the subject, he can't rest on that feeling for too long. Especially not with Rey rapid shooting questions at him. ]
I knew there was something between us that seemed different, but I was distracted by... other things.
[ The command to kill his father, the revelation that they had Luke's location, the complete and utter emotional meltdown of Rey escaping, all culminating into him acknowledging the final most obvious conclusion about his chances of survival with his master. Just Dark side things. ]
Snoke is very wise and very old. I'm certain he would know more than I do about this and that he may see it as some kind of asset. [ Especially if one which had been forged within the Force was as rare as he'd been learning. It seemed like it could be something fairly easy to exploit if you had your claws in one half. Which-- that part of all this is a bit harder to explain, maybe. ] He's been in my mind for as long as I can remember. Offering me guidance when I needed it. He isn't happy that he's lost residency in my head.
[ So yes. Rey is in danger. Ben is in danger. The whole kitnkaboodle is in danger. ]
( other things makes sense to her. he's kept busy in the war, there's no denying it, no matter how heavily it weighs down on her heart in a way she isn't entirely comfortable with. if this was a week ago, she'd be holding hands with the enemy. poe would say she's still holding hands with the enemy, and probably sneer at her for it. things can change in the blink of an eye, but. trust has never come easy to her.
she's not sure she trusts ben — actually she definitely doesn't, but she at least believes in offering a hand before it gets bitten. general disdain for the greater public is not a lesson she ever learned, and she has enough space in her heart to give ben a chance. one chance. that's all any of this is. waiting for the other shoe to drop, living in the limbo of not fully understanding him just yet. waiting for trust to build itself like spiderwebs woven together. )
Guidance.
( she hums around it. nothing he's saying is particularly critical of snoke. he's wise, he's old. he isn't happy. softness on the master, maybe, or maybe that's what abuse does to you. for a long time, snoke was the only one who was there. )
He's right. It is an asset. ( she turns from the fire to better face him, his massive hand still held gingerly between each of hers, like she forgot it was there. ) We're stronger together. You can sense that, can't you? If he wants us, that's proof of our capabilities — proof that we're stronger than him. ( her gaze gets fierce with her seriousness — feral and barely contained. it's a frequent look for rey when there's food in the nearby vicinity, but right now the only meal is ben's connection to the dark. she's feasting on it. ) I will not be seduced to the Dark, try as he might. Neither will you, I won't let you.
I told you, I'm protecting you. From him, from Luke, from anyone.
honestly a reprieve from the isolation that is "How many half lock downs until covid kills us all"
[ Groomed for his entire life, neglected by the only family he had, every expectation unmet. Ben Solo had no chance against Snoke. And it also means he's exhausted. It took this much to keep his own guards up, especially now that he knows he has a literal other half who had been running around in a trash heap. He's not sure how quickly her talent could expand, but given what he'd seen in his short time with her-- well. She's an obvious target. Kylo Ren with out the baggage of a heroic family who had somewhat shaped who she was as a person. And it's not as if he believes Rey will fall to the dark--
But she does seem stupid enough to fancy herself a heroine who would throw herself in front of a star destroyer if it meant saving one person.
Really, he has to wonder if seeing that quality within her annoyed Luke because his uncle had the exact same quality in his youth. ]
You don't understand what that means.
[ His voice is quiet, but even. Quickly, he realizes she may read his statement as condescending, so with a soft sigh he'll move the hand she's still holding to link his fingers between hers--- and within a breath she'll be taken to a chamber... or something like it. Large and quiet, with delicate wisps of feelings, sounds-- memories really floating through. Darkness with a bright streak of light shooting through. Undeniable and brilliant. But just as everything seems in balance, everything shakes and it's a bright painful crescendo of ringing noise that can be felt from within. One only needs to look around to note what can be felt as a locked gate to this chamber, weathered, abused.
And once Kylo pulls her out from the metaphysical view of his own mind, well... it at least explains why she's had difficulty reading him. Not only the conflicting emotions and needs within his soul, but he's had to lock himself off for safety. He does have to wonder how Luke could cut himself off from the Force completely for all these years. Even now he feels almost congested. As though he's had once of his senses taken away.
He'll take his free hand and rub at his head. Unfortunately, it looks as though this little trick has made Snoke aware of Kylo's stirring. Honestly, maybe he should have killed his master on the way out. ]
He wants Luke's location. We're both liabilities at this point.
( to be fair, she thinks most things he says sound debatably condescending, but that's possibly due to his cadence in talking like a victorian prince. pompous, eloquent — though most things he has to say aren't about the color ascot he's wearing, or what teacakes are his favorite, and are generally about things he is well versed in. she can't really deny that he knows more than her, since he's been at it for much longer. rey is somewhat instinctively good at it, and she has to wonder if it's just because she learned it from ben, in the force. it wasn't missing when she was on jakku, but she's certainly made some wide jumps in talent since she's met him.
maybe he'll learn how to hotwire a ship, from her side of things. or how to tape up holes in your shoes, to get another few years out of them.
she's only really been in his mind once before, but the feeling remains the same. there's something nostalgic in it. she hadn't really ruminate on the space because she'd forced her way in the first time, and now — she's being permitted residency, short as the time may be. of course it's empty by design, fleeting rays of light like memories darting through a limitless place. she could reach out and touch them, dig for them, but he doesn't offer and she politely doesn't take. trust is an earned thing, on a two-way street.
there aren't walls, until there are. just one, gated, old and rusted and beat and slightly warped, like someone's been wrapping their giant hands around the bars and pulling. like ben's been setting them back into fine lines, at the risk of the metal snapping.
she gasps when she's pulled out of it, wetness in her eyes. her hand instinctively clenches his too tight and she blinks up at him, a shuddering breath wrangled out of her lungs. )
Now you're protecting Luke? ( after tonight? after years ago? ) We should —
( leave, the force supplies for her, in the space between them. her gaze gets a little wild, looking back to the hole in the room, where rain still beats on the floor. )
When the storm passes. Chewie and Luke will protect your father and get off the planet, and we'll — ( kill snoke ) We need a plan.
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bakerstreet2020-11-15 11:45 am
no subject
Yes, you are.
( she wouldn't think to deny it. she has as much of a reason to hate the empire as anyone, and she's seen firsthand what the military is capable of. exploding planets with the wave of a hand, killing without remorse in search of a simple bb unit. lives treated like they're nothing. ben killed the padawans at his disposal like his grandfather before him. he attempted to kill luke skywalker, living legend.
but there's depth, there. children aren't born cruel. he wasn't always a slave to the dark the way he'd been a week ago, and rey can't help but feeling a certain way for him, try as she may not to. how can her heart not go out to the bleeding son? )
If you're so irredeemable, why are you here, on your pathway to redemption? I would know if you planned to betray us. ( it's not a question she expects an answer to, and instead she barrels on, an onslaught of bitten back comments and words all falling out of her now, from over the past few days. she settles on something she finds more important. ) Why can't you sleep at night? I feel you here in your cot, restless. Is it the guilt? After all you've put your mother and father and the Rebellion through, I'd expect some.
( eyebrows furrow as she stares at him, nostrils flaring as she sucks in a deep breath, willing herself to take the grief out of her eyes. upon poking at what she can of their bond, she shakes her head again, coming up blank. )
It's not guilt. No, it's — you feel like ... ( she sniffs loudly, swallowing something thick. ) an outsider.
( or maybe she's reading her own heart, her own emotions, there and bare for him to observe. she doesn't want to draw more connections between them, but she'd have to be blind not to. their lack of love is something they'll always have in common but rey just isn't sure why, when one of them has parents, and one of them doesn't. even split up, han and leia aren't terrible people.
surely they loved their son, right? love him. surely all parents do? )
no subject
It felt as though the moment she balked at him yawning a few days back that some mystique about him had been broken. In a strange way it was liberating, in other ways terrifying. Especially given how much of an open book she was. It made her far too easy a mark-- he thinks Luke can see that as well as he can. Just as Ben Solo had been a young naïve fool and easy prey to the dark.
He continues to let her talk as he notes how it's raining outside, a cold breeze bursts through the cracks in the doors and walls, and he's awake enough now to note that Rey is actually wet. Something which had only been dully noted by a sleep deprived mind now becomes as clear as day and he feels a bit like a bantha's behind.
He tugs the blanket that was still across his form and manages to toss it around Rey in something shockingly smooth for a socially stunted fascist terrorist. ]
I am an outsider. [ He corrects her softly. And whether he simply didn't hear her other questions or doesn't find them intriguing enough to answer-- he'll respond in kind. ] Why are you here?
[ She seems to be chasing a dozen different threads of thought at once, dancing around whatever question she really wants answered. Whether she's too nervous to speak plainly or afraid to hear an answer she doesn't want-- he isn't sure yet. ]
no subject
if recounting all the lessons rey learned when she was orphan with pointy elbows and a mean gaze, she'd name not trusting free kindness among the most important. people who have nothing are rarely made sacrificial from the good will of man — why has the cruel man she's known as kylo ren offered her anything? what's to be gained?
trust, she thinks suspiciously. but she still tightens her grips on the sides of the cloth, bringing it up to press against her cold lips. idly, she toes off her shoes and nudges them towards the fire to dry. )
To bring Skywalker to the Rebel base, and win the war.
( it takes effort to be this obtuse. she knows it's not really what he's asking. why are you here in his room, not why are you here on the island. rey's eyes move between each of his, realizing in some capacity that she'll never find the answers to the questions she doesn't ask. )
And — ( she breathes out a shivering, tooth-rattling sigh, rubbing her nose against the blanket. ) why didn't you kill your father? Just, tell me that one thing. What changed you?
sorry for the wait on tags. I've been doing the art for the fantasy pins
There's a long pause after she asks her questions, he lets it fall to the floor and rest there as his own gaze turns back to the fire. Han Solo's words ring in his head-- the moment has replayed over and over like a broken record and he wonders if he chose the right option.
Really-- it's been comical how much he's avoided his father, given the circumstances. It's clear Han knows the weight of his actions both in that moment and in the past as he flew away from his family time after time. So there have been bumbling moments where he attempts to connect with Ben, but it's clear there's still a divide. One which is certainly tearing Han apart (Which, remember, we aren't worried about him slowly putting the pieces together in the falcon right now. That's none of our business), and really on Kylo's end...
He's just not sure how to navigate this divide.
Afraid to reach out for fear of being rejected again, angry at things his parents can't fix now, and still believing that he doesn't really deserve this chance.
He presses his mouth in a line, his jaw ticks to the side as he answers, eyes still fixated upon the embers which jump from the flames. ]
My father told me the truth, I no longer had a place in the First Order.
[ Not the entirety of the truth, dancing around it really. But it's hard enough to vocalize this much. Saying that his master intended to kill him, that he was being used. That he hadn't really been valuable or special. Just another tool. ]
every time u apologize a small part of my guts die. also congrats on the talent omg
i no longer had a place. because ben has never had a place, has never exceeded his welcome from where he's been made a burden. rey understands the drive towards that unattainable goal of being useful. dark or light — acceptance doesn't have a side. if her parents where influenced by the dark by the time they came back for her, she can't really promise she'd make the right decision either. ( haha. ) )
You could have a place among the Rebellion.
( she says it hoarsely, whispered like she doesn't want luke to hear it, from however far away he is. she could say your information on the inner workings of the first order could change the tide, but — he's more than the sum of what he knows. he has all the potential in the world to make the right decision, every capability in his conflicted heart to steer away from the dark path.
rey knows this. she wants it from him, but she's not going to force him. his journey has to come from himself. )
You could have a place with me. ( it is quickly corrected, the real secret hiding beneath the muck. where's the sense in being two lonely people? ) If you'd let me in.
omg now i gotta apologize so we can destroy ur guts so u have no pain. and LMF I'm not that talented
He does also note they eerily mirrored his own, but he supposes that's just another feature of the dyad.
Still-- trust is something which is hard to extend. Harder still when running on virtually no sleep and less than ideal circumstances. And having some part of him begging to give in to her just means he paradoxically knows to trust his urges less. Especially with out any safe place to land.... ]
Has Luke explained what happened that night?
[ It's a hushed subject around Kylo. Anytime it's brought up, they all dance around the topic. Han not wanting to break the tense peace and Luke-- All Ben can see in his eyes is shame.
But he doesn't know what Rey's been told. He can only assume that Luke has said something. ]
writing and art! save some for the rest of us!!
it's almost gossipy. she scoots in halfway towards him, conspiratorially shaking her head, as if afraid the porgs in the windowsill might tell luke of this — betrayal, would he call it? her believing him? her wanting to? )
He said you killed them. And that you must've thought you killed him, collapsing the temple. He ... ( her eyes squint, looking for the exact memory. if ben wants, he'll see it through their bond. ) said he failed you. That the Dark already had you, that he couldn't stop it.
( inevitable, she almost says, but it'd be her word and not his. her expression softens at she recalls the whole — everything, about the situation. inevitable, and so he gave up. inevitable, and he let the dark have ben, writing him off as a bad apple. just another adult who failed ben solo. )
LOL... WEEPS I'm not that gr8. there is plenty left. I am thinking of making reylo pin art tho....
Which really had been a little aggravating given his own struggle within himself spiritually, mentally, emotionally. But in this quiet moment he does realize he appreciates it nonetheless.
Which is the reason he opts for the cold truth of the matter. ]
No. [ A baseline answer to the entire interpretation of the event. And the entire night is burned so vividly into his mind that the bond hums around them in-sync. As if to take her there. A chilly little hut with a too small cot which Ben (younger, in padawan clothing, tiny scrolls of jedi truths neatly stacked upon a table beside him with his hilt near by)-- ] That night as I slept -- [ His voice almost seems disembodied, but this is the fun of the bond. His memory is so clear it's nearly indisputable. ] --I woke suddenly. When I turned to look behind me, I saw my uncle. Lightsaber engaged and raised above him, ready to bring it down on my neck.
[ She'll see Luke. His form lit only by the scant moonlight and his green blade. A face filled with malice. Ben scrambles, grabbing his hilt and igniting the blade to defend himself before reaching out with his other hand and internally begging the Force to protect him. The hut grumbles to nothing around them when all at once the vision ends and it takes another moment for the sound of the rain howling outside to break past the strength of their bond. ]
AGGRESSIVE NODDING
( it's a good puzzle piece, that sets a lot of thoughts into their rightful place. she also instinctively, for a few seconds through the bond, absolutely doesn't believe him at all.
denial is part of the grieving process, though, and tonight she's grieving the legend of luke skywalker. kill your heroes. for a moment, the memory looked so real in her mind's eye, that she shot up from where she was seated, as if her hands could hold together the threatening break of the hut's roof, the same way she tried to use these hands to keep together an inherently broken family. it's equally successful both times. denial seeps out and anger gets welcomed in, layers on top of layers of it, a stark disappointment that burns her so deeply inside, she forgets to be freezing. his eyes looked so haunted, like the dark was in luke long before it ever touched ben.
he crafted the terror, then. the final unloving person who broke the ben's back. rey's always been jealous of him for having a family, but for the first time she has to wonder if no family at all is better than a family who had and gave up on you. )
Is that true? He — ( for just a small second, she's inconsolable. luke lied to her, because it was easier than accepting his blame in kylo ren's construction. but. she remembers herself, her few days of training, and takes a deep breath instead. lets the anger run out of her like water from a stream, and instead —
well. most of the anger. she only decides not to fist fight luke skywalker right now, because she'd rather spend her time with ben. after a second, she steps forward, takes a seat at the foot of his bed of hay. she looks up at him, almost apologetically.
maybe it's not fair. in all honesty, she doesn't know how not to expect the best from ben, her standards high and through the roof. but — trying to kill a boy in his sleep? is that why he can't sleep? )
I will protect you. ( she swallows, dryly. hesitantly, a hand reaches forward, towards him. ) In the night. So you can sleep. ( if he lets her, her hand is going to find his cheek, ice cold fingers brushing his temple. ) He made a mistake, thinking your decision was made. You've already proven him wrong by being here. I will — I'm on your side. Ben.
U DONT EVEN KNO HOW I DRAW I COULD BE DOIN STICK FIGURES
well.
Seeing his uncle had done nothing to make any of this seem rational. Luke had yet to approach him to talk about things privately and he'd done much the same. The fact that Rey was willing to take this seriously enough to offer protection?
He's honestly a little thrown, maybe amused, even. But the amusement dissolves away once her fingers brush his cheek and his mind whirs into a different direction entirely. It's hard to quantify or define. Certainly he wasn't an idiot enough to not think he was attracted to her, but there's a spike of panic given that no one but Snoke sought to invade his personal space within the past few years andd each time that happened it generally ended in a sharp reprimand, an insult, and sometimes being physically thrown back. Made to suffer for being weak.
After a moment he calms enough to not be on guard like some alleycat, letting those emotions drain out of him-- he even thinks of giving in and speaking frankly on why he really is up every night when--
Oh.
Remember when I said you shouldn't worry about what Han is doing? And that seemed like some Blatant Foreshadowing. Well don't you worry. His time has come.
Han, for his part, doesn't seem all that thrown by how close Rey and Ben are. Really, he's probably noted with Chewbacca that Rey seems to have attached herself to his son and seems overtly interested so. You know. Leave them to themselves to let things heat up naturally. So he feels no need to comment on how snuggly they look at the moment.
But his gaze is a little distant and his clothes are soaked. Apparently he's been listening in for a moment. On his way to try and ask Luke more questions to weasel the truth from him (because lord knows trying to ask Ben anything, let alone what happened between him and Luke, has resulted in stonewalls), instead hearing Rey and Ben speaking on the very topic he was most interested in. Of course he decided to listen in.
'You know,' He says this and Kylo looks towards his father suddenly, eyes a bit wide as he realizes he didn't even sense his father's entrance. 'I thought the story didn't add up. You always loved when your Uncle Luke would come visit.'
The rain seems to grow louder, the dark doesn't help with deciphering Han's expression any. Kylo, for his part, is stuck between hanging back and wondering what the fuck he should be doing right now.
'And all this happened and--' Han lets out a shuddering breath as his mind goes through a catalogue of memories. Of Leia's guilt, the shame in Luke's face, the first moment he heard the news of what happened while he had made a run on the Falcon and he was forced to deal with the grief of his broken family alone. 'Is what you said true?'
Kylo is caught off-guard. Again. Low self-worth. No one believed his story before. Why would anyone believe that Luke Skywalker was capable of such a thing-- ] Yes.
[ Han's expression melts between guilt, sorrow, shame-- and a million other little microexpressions that Kylo doesn't think he's ever seen his father make before. All of that resolves into something resolute and hard.
'Okay.' The smuggler's response is curt as he pushes himself out of the doorway of the hut and into the rain--
And appears to be making his way straight to Luke's hut.
Yeah. Uh. Kylo is stunned. He turns back to Rey to see how she's reacting to this situation, because What ???DO?/? thEY/? do? NOW??? THERE IS ABOUT TO BE AN OLD MAN FIGHT. HE DOESNT THINK AARP COVERS THIS SHIT. But either way, he's going to be pushing up to his feet to try and go chase his father down. Mostly because he's fairly sure Leia will slap all of them if either her brother or husband are injured due to this maddness. ]
u doubt my commitment to reylo if you think i wouldnt buy a stick figure pin of them. show me!!
but, on han's announced presence, her hand snaps back in a startled and childish way, as if she was caught something she definitely should not have been doing. she's not especially apologetic — any brief shame she felt is of her own creation, and one that she chases out soon after. she is not in the hot seat for showing ben kindness. the rest of the galaxy is for their lack of it. still, she keeps her mouth shut and her hands to herself as ben and han trade back and forth, watching with interest as it plays out. han didn't know either, which means they were both purposely kept in the dark — maybe to some degree, because throwing hands was both their immediate reactions.
she can't help but think it's overwhelmingly Toxic Masculinity of him. she gapes, a little. it is not obvious that repairing your shattered relationship with your son is more important than fighting about the past?
looking to ben, their confusion gets mirrored between them, but it's clear they'll have to spring into action, to avoid some grandpas throwing out their hips. up on her feet, she's already out the door, jogging in the direction han took off in, bare feet sinking into mud as her footfalls hit the earth. despite this, she keeps pace with ben — he has long legs but she's fast, so they even out. by the time they make it to the hut, an altercation is already happening inside, and rey throws open the door, both of them stumbling inwards.
— my son?!, han finishes up after a long rant, apparently, red in the face from yelling. luke for his part looks relatively serene. sad. quiet in that frustrating way when you just want someone to be angry, or caught off guard, or anything other than the model of perfect jedi patience in the face of a storm. he can't be. he's had a lot of time to think about this.
i'm sorry. to han. and luke lifts his eyes to where ben is in front of rey, an ocean of emotions stuck in the old creases and wrinkles of his eyes. i'm sorry. i — )
Tell the truth. ( rey interrupts, somewhat coldly. chewbacca is currently the most tolerable man on this island, and rey is a little bit over the testosterone in the air. she stares at him, disappointed. a legend shattered to pieces. ) Admit to what you did, to your padawan. The lie you told me. Say it.
( i sensed darkness, he says after a sigh, eyes shifting from the three faces all watching him, like there's an active bomb in the room but he isn't sure which direction it'll come from. i'd seen it, in flashes during his training — during your training, ben. by the time i looked inside, it was beyond what i ever imagined. snoke had already taken his heart to the dark side. he would bring destruction and pain and death at the end of everything i love because of what he would become, and in the briefest moment of pure instinct i thought i could stop it. haunted, he shakes his head. it passed like a fleeting shadow. and i was left with shame, with consequence. and the last thing i saw were the eyes of a frightened boy, whose master had failed him.
stillness takes over as the words sink in, everyone ramped up with too many emotions to call tribute to all of them all at once. rey swallows, shaking her head — his excuse doesn't change anything. his weakness still created kylo ren. )
Clearly you were wrong about him. ( of course rey breaks the quiet. she frowns at luke, eyes still bloodshot from crying, but she's calmer now, more confident in her feelings. ) And he's stronger than you anticipated, because he made the right choice, even without your guidance. Even with your failure. What does that say about the Jedi?
( honestly, han opens his fucking mouth to agree with her and start yelling, but rey holds out her hand in a bitch, shut up kind of way, shushing him with a deep rooted glare. )
It's easy to show concern now, when you have someone other than yourself to blame, for the failings of your parenting. ( it's all kind of awkward to be having this conversation while directly in front of ben, but Listen, once rey gets started, there's no force alive that can stop her. ) When I met you, you were smuggling like some child who ran from home trying to make quick money. You had thirty years to get your act together, but you haven't changed at all. How dare either of you look at him with disdain, as if your neglect wasn't what allowed the Dark to sink in. How can you blame him?
( she huffs, almost out of breath. she opens her mouth as if to say and another thing! but instead shuts it, shaking her head. ) Actually, I can't. ( she reaches forward, grabs a hold on ben's bicep with a gentle squeeze, saying through their bond, stay or go, it's your choice. i'm sticking with you. )
U GOTTA FIND MY ART ON UR OWN. CACKLES EVILY INTO MY CHEESE CAKE
His eyes connect with Luke's and Kylo wonders. Wonders if Luke knows what he had wanted on some level. Realizes the path he had blazed as Kylo Ren-- an immature cry for help. Hoping the galaxy's hero-- no. His hero, Luke Skywalker, would come charging in with his laser sword, ready to save his soul... even if that meant he had to die at his hands.
It's not really something he's thought about actively, but there's a growing realization in the back of his mind that this had been the natural path that he thought he was going on and-- Stars. There wasn't enough energy within him to digest any of this. To deal with any of this. He knows Snoke can feel the weakness in his armor and is attempting to claw it apart, at least if the growing migraine from ignoring his former master's call is anything to go by. He hardly even notes what Rey says, a ringing overtakes his ears-- he's only brought back to their space with Rey's touch--
And then Han places a hand on his shoulder. Thoroughly chastized, but he does recognize the look on Ben's face. One he'd seen before and stuck his head in the ground trying to insist to himself things would work out for the better.
This is overwhelming-- just a whole lot at once. Kylo doesn't drink on principle, but now is definitely feeling like a good time to start. He wonders if he's supposed to say something, but Luke takes up the slack.
'Ben, I'm sorry,' His voice is sincere, knowing that his words may not even reach his nephew right now-- but that they are words he should have said much sooner. 'I failed you.'
It hangs in the air, suspended and Kylo is reeling. Luke hadn't been the one to fail, Kylo knows that this was his path all along. These had been his choices. Worse, he knows that he only went with his father out of fear-- he's not sure he believes in the cause of the Resistance, and he certainly doesn't claim to be a Jedi. Rey speaks of him as though his choice had been made out of good intent and that he was no longer mired in the dark but--
This is when Chewbacca bursts in. Howling. Loudly. Screaming at Han and Luke for fighting and everything else that's going on. Kylo recognizes it for what it is. A respite. An offering of escape for Kylo and Rey. Han is pulled from his son and Kylo pushes out of the hut-- really unsure of where to go. But his own hut seems as good a place as any right now. So that's where his feet will take him unless Rey redirects him in some other direction. He's taking up her offer of sticking together for the moment. ]
have pity on me im dumb
ben is quickly becoming an exception to the rule, though. it's not like she'd leave him right now anyway, and as he takes a step in towards his hut she hesitates, running over a plan in her head. clearly, they can be disturbed there, eavesdropped on. ordinarily it wouldn't be an issue, but han and luke deserve to sit in their grief for a bit while they get their priorities straight — and rey wants to be alone. with ben. obviously.
so she darts quickly forward, her hand wrapping around his wrist and tugging him in a certain direction. the rain is too loud to talk over, but they don't really need words. she's pleased when he doesn't fight her, and they can take off away from camp, towards one of the many secret nooks of the island. on the way, rey picks up dry kindling under large canopies of trees, tucking them into the basically soaked through drapes of her clothes. trying to be pragmatic, not fully succeeding.
the earth gives way to a crater, some several feet dug into the ground — hollowed out around the sides to make some kind of underground room, exposed in the middle to the elements. rey hops down, using the force to buffer her landing. the center of the room is still soaked by rainfall, but the flooring is harder rock and crystal beneath her feet. a prayer room. bare, sun bleached cushions all sit equal distances away following the center hole, facing inward. even in the chaos of the storm, it seems peaceful. even jedis like to soften their butts before levitating in their meditation, and rey can almost imagine this place in it's hay day, full of people.
it works anyway, because ancient and half dust cushions are still more comfortable than hay beds. rey sets to fussing, making a cushion pile near a far wall that's bigger than ben sized, using extra pillows and blankets found in a shelf carved out of rock to make it as unimpressively lush as she can. she sets up a fire beside it, using luke's saber to ignite it. in the rain, she sets out a basin, collecting what water she can. she's going to have to deal with her muddy feet eventually, so she should be praised for her foresight.
see, it's a very homey, comfortable, horrible place. but at least it's away, almost on an island of their own. whatever ben's been doing while she set up — maybe there are scrolls or texts or something of interest to look at — eventually rey calls his attention, pointing to the pillow pile. )
Lay down?
lmfao have a hint: if u stalk thru my journal you could use the info there to find it probs
Still, he follows her, leveraging himself down in much the same way she had before studying the walls of the room. The ancient languages and patterns which had become a staple in their lives today. Changed, but still familiar. He runs his fingers across the indentations before the noise of Rey's..... Nesting catching his attention. He's honestly amazed at the mass of pillows and cushions she's collected, a chaotic little nook. He's a bit puzzled and then, naturally, she gives her invitation.
It's a bit comical, given how mussed they both look. Her dirty feet and hair plastered to whatever skin it can find, and he.... He still has some hay tucked into his hair and quite honestly he's freezing his ass off. Rey should be very disappointed that he does not have a white Henley on because my lord it would be a glorious sight. Nah. He's got a black one on because he cannot live without expressing his Edgy-ness.
Whatever. He'll set the brief amusement aside and step over to his new Bigger Than Ben Pillow Pile. Thankfully he had kept his shoes on in all of this, so once he reaches it, he can just plop down and move to slide each boot off so he doesn't get the mud within the ~nest~. ]
You don't need to protect me from Luke.
[ He says that as he loosens his second boot, his fingers are a bit numb, thus it's taking some effort. ]
BROOOOOOOOOO i am sherlock holmes UR ART IS AMAZING WTF 'STICK FIGURES' IM GONNA
rey takes herself a kneeling seat beside the proclaimed head of the bed, watching him carefully. she only remembers to be cold when she seems him fumble, and even then it's a distant, far off thing. ice is numbing, and she has more important things to think about than her cold — his, for example. taking a sweeping glance across the room, she comments almost idly, )
But I do need to protect you?
( the implication doesn't escape her, and neither is it new information. in the last hour or so, she's had her priorities deeply meddled with, completely spun on their head. she intends to protect him whether he needs it or not, because that's just the kind of person she is. bleeding heart and hardened fists.
standing up, she swallows, looking back at the shelves. )
You'll get sick if you sleep in wet clothes. I'll — ( she frowns, having pretty much already ransacked the place to make ben a comfy spot. ) Maybe there's something. Or, there's blankets. I won't — ( look at your dick if you wanna sleep in the buff?? judge you for being naked?? hmm ) Let me just. Look around.
Oh if the art u found is amazing it definitely isn't me then. PROBS SOMEONE ELSE
He presses his mouth into a line and shoots her a look. Trying to judge how much she's actually thinking about the words she's currently saying. He's not really offended by the idea of nudity, but-- you know. Seems kind of excessive. ]
You're wetter than I am. [ Innuendo? Maybe. (at least from the mun) But he's also being practical. ] We'll both die of hypothermia if we decide to strip in the middle of a storm.
[ He's lived through worse. At the very least he isn't in thick insulated padding and armor. Once those items got soaked through, it would take ages to dry. And while his father's fashion sense wasn't entirely to his own taste-- the natural fibers dried much faster.
His eyes scan the area and Rey has pretty much picked it clean. There wasn't much more for them to hoard here, which meant the other option was to go back through the storm to find more clothes from the Falcon and-- given what's going on between Luke and Han, seems like a hot spot of "no thanks". So tempting as it may be, it isn't an option. Especially because they'd just be soaked, again.
A soft sigh, his jaw ticks in annoyance at their situation, he scoots over minutely. Sitting up enough so that he can reach out a hand. ] Sit with me.
[ It's an order more than a request. He still has to work on his ... whole tone, really.
Oh and yeah, he just bounced over that whole "protection" thing. Completely. Just avoiding that topic because why would he ever make openly discussing his issues easy? ]
take my love dangit
( soaked clothes are still soaked clothes, so it's not really a point to stand on — but she has no intention of stripping. wetness does not matter, in the game of catching a cold, and the chill in her bones is secondary to taking care of ben after the night he's had. repairing little broken pieces, hand stitching him back together. honestly, having him to focus on is making her own terrible night feel a lot better. she has a lot of feelings on everyone deserving good things, and seems intent to drown ben in that, currently.
unfortunately there is no jedi closet available, and even then, any clothes would probably too moth eaten and hole-filled for actual use. turning back to him, she eyes his hand warily for all of a moment, before taking a few heavy steps in to meet him. her hand is small where it fits against his, palms aligned. staring at it, rey nods heavily, moving to take a seat beside him. )
You're freezing. ( as if either of them are at all unaware of it. hands still touching, she pulls ben's numb fingers closer to the fire, rolling them between her thumbs. working feeling back into them. after a second and a fond look, one of her hands moves up to his hair, an affectionate knot falling between her brows. ) You have hay in your hair. ( she will just start plucking at it. )
sees ur pm. ten years later. AND STILL REFUSES UR LOVE
Apparently this huge baby does, in fact, like being babied.
He'd get cross if anyone pointed that out, however.
The next comments, however, do help some in distracting his mind. Especially given it's in conjunction with her hands wrapping around his.
Oh. You know. Until she points out his hair accessories. And then starts plucking it all out with out permission.
A soft huff of breath as he comprehends what his life is right now. ]
I may have been able to take it out if I hadn't had an unexcepted visitor.
[ The quip isn't meant seriously... but he's still gotta hassle her for shits and giggles tbh ]
IM DUMBBBBBBB youre right u should not accept my love
rey squints at him, although there's a strange amusement behind the general distrusting look. she rolls her eyes. )
Sure, it's my fault. ( barely there fingertips touch the height of his cheek. ) I like the braid, so I'm glad I interrupted your nightly ritual of not sleeping. I might never have seen it otherwise.
( is this the weird feeling? adoration in her chest? she pulls her hand back when it feels like a little too much, letting herself get lost back in warming him up as best as she can. a good distraction, from him and her own wayward thoughts, brought back to the crackling of firewood. taking care of other people is like a second nature, to her. )
I don't need to protect you from Luke?
( if she asks serious enough questions, maybe she can ignore the weird flush spreading on her freckled cheeks, complimented only by the blueing of her cupid's bow. )
becoz i'm WORTHLESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
But she preens him, brushes cold fingers across his cheek and his eyes find hers. He can see her sincerity, feel it through their bond. He doesn't react to her embarrassment. There isn't a need to needle at it for now. And before his mind can dare drift to other ideas, she speaks again and breaks the spell which had been temporarily cast around them. ]
He hasn't attempted to murder me yet.
[ There's a sardonic edge to that, as though it's supposed to be a joke. Which, honestly, given his sense of humor it kind of is.
But he had been afraid of being dragged to Luke's before. His mother and father eventually realized it given his prickly demeanor and absolute rejection of discussing anything which happened between them. But once he had been packed upon the Falcon and arrived on this isolated planet-- within the first few hours that fear had drained away.
No longer was Luke the phantom of his fall, or the untouchable beacon of light. He could recognize well enough that Luke was as beaten and defeated as he felt. Honestly, he had to wonder what Luke thought of this result, if this was anything like what he had wanted to achieve.
But the plain fact of the matter was if Luke had wanted to kill him, the best time would have been near immediately after the Falcon had landed. Even if Luke had cut himself off from the Force, Kylo knew his uncle was someone to be reckoned with. Being a crazed hermit on a lonely island didn't really change that.... Honestly, he was probably stronger in some areas given his unabomber approach to escaping society to repent.
But if Luke was no one to worry about, Kylo knows Rey will wonder what's going on. Why he can't sleep. He can't bring himself to invent a fake response up on the spot, his head is throbbing and he's exhausted. So, she'll get her wish. ]
Snoke is trying to enter my mind-- I believe he intends on digging into yours as well. [ A beat before he decides to clarify further ] Through our connection.
[ He hopes that isn't some huge revelation for her. Of course Supreme Leader Snoke would be interested in having a chokehold on the other half of Ben Solo's Dyad. Kylo has to wonder if Snoke saw the connection between them and had intended to exploit it. ...Well. He doesn't need to wonder. He knows in his gut that it's true. ]
NO BC IM DUMB at least accept my compliments if not my love
she knows snoke by name and little else. aware of ben's connection to him before he switched allegiance, but unaware of anything else about him — where he comes from, who he is. the grip he has on ben's soul. that he looks like a greasy, cracked testicle. rey tilts her head in ben's direction, a slow frown turning down the corners of her mouth. why would he be interested in her? she's no one. )
How does he know we're Dyads? ( rey found out a few days ago, and she's still trying to learn what that means. for a second, she wonders if snoke would explain it to her, and promise not to do any — nefarious villain stuff. sometimes it's okay to give people the benefit of the doubt ( when they're hot, like ben ) but sometimes you've got to put your foot and decide no, fascism is bad. ) Did you know? Before.
( probably, it would be easy to suspect he's been siphoning off information to him, like some undercover spy business. rey doesn't have the heart to pretend like it's true — she can read ben's reflective sincerity in the force like reading her own thoughts, painting a picture clear cut like the image before her now. a man on a bed, letting himself be held by her. not pulling away.
mostly, she's just curious if their bond was obvious to him in their first meeting — that they were different, special. it's not the most important question, just the one that takes her immediately. her priorities get knocked back into place after a second. )
Wait, so, you're ... saying that you aren't sleeping, because you're trying to protect me from him? ( she tosses his hand back into his lap and gestures for the other one, giving it the same treatment. really all she's doing is putting it by the fire, which he's very capable of doing on his own, but if he doesn't call attention to it, neither will she. ) Why?
Nah i'm awful.
I knew there was something between us that seemed different, but I was distracted by... other things.
[ The command to kill his father, the revelation that they had Luke's location, the complete and utter emotional meltdown of Rey escaping, all culminating into him acknowledging the final most obvious conclusion about his chances of survival with his master. Just Dark side things. ]
Snoke is very wise and very old. I'm certain he would know more than I do about this and that he may see it as some kind of asset. [ Especially if one which had been forged within the Force was as rare as he'd been learning. It seemed like it could be something fairly easy to exploit if you had your claws in one half. Which-- that part of all this is a bit harder to explain, maybe. ] He's been in my mind for as long as I can remember. Offering me guidance when I needed it. He isn't happy that he's lost residency in my head.
[ So yes. Rey is in danger. Ben is in danger. The whole kitnkaboodle is in danger. ]
omw to fistfight you
she's not sure she trusts ben — actually she definitely doesn't, but she at least believes in offering a hand before it gets bitten. general disdain for the greater public is not a lesson she ever learned, and she has enough space in her heart to give ben a chance. one chance. that's all any of this is. waiting for the other shoe to drop, living in the limbo of not fully understanding him just yet. waiting for trust to build itself like spiderwebs woven together. )
Guidance.
( she hums around it. nothing he's saying is particularly critical of snoke. he's wise, he's old. he isn't happy. softness on the master, maybe, or maybe that's what abuse does to you. for a long time, snoke was the only one who was there. )
He's right. It is an asset. ( she turns from the fire to better face him, his massive hand still held gingerly between each of hers, like she forgot it was there. ) We're stronger together. You can sense that, can't you? If he wants us, that's proof of our capabilities — proof that we're stronger than him. ( her gaze gets fierce with her seriousness — feral and barely contained. it's a frequent look for rey when there's food in the nearby vicinity, but right now the only meal is ben's connection to the dark. she's feasting on it. ) I will not be seduced to the Dark, try as he might. Neither will you, I won't let you.
I told you, I'm protecting you. From him, from Luke, from anyone.
honestly a reprieve from the isolation that is "How many half lock downs until covid kills us all"
But she does seem stupid enough to fancy herself a heroine who would throw herself in front of a star destroyer if it meant saving one person.
Really, he has to wonder if seeing that quality within her annoyed Luke because his uncle had the exact same quality in his youth. ]
You don't understand what that means.
[ His voice is quiet, but even. Quickly, he realizes she may read his statement as condescending, so with a soft sigh he'll move the hand she's still holding to link his fingers between hers--- and within a breath she'll be taken to a chamber... or something like it. Large and quiet, with delicate wisps of feelings, sounds-- memories really floating through. Darkness with a bright streak of light shooting through. Undeniable and brilliant. But just as everything seems in balance, everything shakes and it's a bright painful crescendo of ringing noise that can be felt from within. One only needs to look around to note what can be felt as a locked gate to this chamber, weathered, abused.
And once Kylo pulls her out from the metaphysical view of his own mind, well... it at least explains why she's had difficulty reading him. Not only the conflicting emotions and needs within his soul, but he's had to lock himself off for safety. He does have to wonder how Luke could cut himself off from the Force completely for all these years. Even now he feels almost congested. As though he's had once of his senses taken away.
He'll take his free hand and rub at his head. Unfortunately, it looks as though this little trick has made Snoke aware of Kylo's stirring. Honestly, maybe he should have killed his master on the way out. ]
He wants Luke's location. We're both liabilities at this point.
FDHJGKJ im coming to socially distance fight you
maybe he'll learn how to hotwire a ship, from her side of things. or how to tape up holes in your shoes, to get another few years out of them.
she's only really been in his mind once before, but the feeling remains the same. there's something nostalgic in it. she hadn't really ruminate on the space because she'd forced her way in the first time, and now — she's being permitted residency, short as the time may be. of course it's empty by design, fleeting rays of light like memories darting through a limitless place. she could reach out and touch them, dig for them, but he doesn't offer and she politely doesn't take. trust is an earned thing, on a two-way street.
there aren't walls, until there are. just one, gated, old and rusted and beat and slightly warped, like someone's been wrapping their giant hands around the bars and pulling. like ben's been setting them back into fine lines, at the risk of the metal snapping.
she gasps when she's pulled out of it, wetness in her eyes. her hand instinctively clenches his too tight and she blinks up at him, a shuddering breath wrangled out of her lungs. )
Now you're protecting Luke? ( after tonight? after years ago? ) We should —
( leave, the force supplies for her, in the space between them. her gaze gets a little wild, looking back to the hole in the room, where rain still beats on the floor. )
When the storm passes. Chewie and Luke will protect your father and get off the planet, and we'll — ( kill snoke ) We need a plan.
do we just agree upon a parking lot and then stand at opposite corners and scream at one another?
correct exactly
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