The BDSM Lifestyle Meme

[maliceaforesock]

The BDSM Lifestyle Meme

BDSM isn't all about the sex. Sure, handcuffs, whips and chains, toys, power and control-play can be fun, but sometimes it's about the other stuff too. The little stuff. The ways you and your partner give yourselves to each other every day.

So this is a meme to play out safe, sane, consensual and maybe even non-sexual BDSM.



If you want more information, check out:

The Ten Golden Rules of BDSM Negotiation
Sexuality.Org's BDSM Index
The Keys to A Relationship
Extreme Restraints

Be warned: Threads and prompts below may contain triggers, and will contain sexual content.

THE EVERYDAY:
1. feeding: using him as a plate? having her kneel and accept hand-feeding? maybe someone's been very good and should have a tasty reward.
2. bathing: after all, you have to take care of your partner. it's nice to have someone to get lotion in those hard-to-reach places.
3. talking/therapy: how are you going to work out this relationship? what obstacles do you have to overcome?
4. massage: some intimate relaxation.
5. dates: it's good to go out every once in a while.
6. negotiation: to work out what kinks are and are not okay.
7. nonsexual bondage: gags, bridles, chastity belts. some people just like the security of bondage in everyday life.
8. humiliation/in public: take your pet out to show her off; bend him over a bench and spank him for bad behavior.
9. animal play: pony play, pet play.
10. punishment/discipline: someone's been bad. maybe it's time for a time-out. or maybe someone has to clean the bathroom with a toothbrush.
11. other

THE SEXUAL:
1. the light stuff: some handcuffs, some ropes. nothing too extreme. maybe one partner or the other is afraid; maybe it's just time to take a break from the trappings and have some love-making.
2. bondage: chains, or elaborately knotted ropes, or full-body bindings. maybe even suspension in midair.
3. caning/whipping/spanking: for punishment and for enjoyment of the pain.
4. shaving: you like them with smooth skin. no beards, no lovetrail, no hairy legs.
5. piercing/tattooing: a permanent mark of devotion.
6. sensory deprivation: gags, blindfolds, earplugs, to shut out the rest of the world.
7. as therapy: exploring a past trauma or fear.
8. first time: one partner or another is experiencing the kink lifestyle for the first time.
9. kink parties: for casual play. mind the rules; drugs and alcohol are rarely tolerated, and all play must be consensual. or else the host or hostess might get angry.
10. orgasm denial/forced orgasm: until they beg for it, or beg you to stop.
11. ageplay: perhaps someone wants to be treated like a child. maybe a little daddy or mommy kink to go along with it.
12. role-play: taking on roles. master-slave, teacher-student, dragon prince and slave-dancer -- your imagination's the limit.
13. genital torture: pain where you're the most sensitive.
14. electricity: to give things a spark.
15. medical fetish: sounding, stirrups, speculums -- oh, doctor.
16. fucking machines: it'll keep in the same rhythm, no matter how much you beg.
17. other

Please do NOT leave your comment blank! (Blank comments will not be deleted, but we highly recommend that you post something.) Either write a note on desired kinks/undesired kinks or create a scenario or fill out the textarea below:
<b>Character Description:</b><br />KINKS<br /><b>YES:</b> <br /><b>MAYBE:</b><br /><b>NO:</b>

Comments

Konoka Konoe | Mahou Sensei Negima | OTA

[im_gonna_heal_u]

Character Description: A cheerful, airheaded girl. More studious and curious than her personality suggests, Konoka probably picked up BDSM from friends' doujins and an incident that stuck with her when she was younger. Leans sub, might dom the right person!

KINKS
YES: For just prompt numbers: Non-sexual 1-7, Sexual 2, 6, 12
For ideas: Consider letting her discover/teach you magic that lets you do bondage stuff, or consider a situation where an initially unfriendly situation (like a kidnapping) changes for the better when bdsm is brought up.
MAYBE: Talk to me before doing things with: Nonsexual 8 and Sexual 7, 9, and 15
NO: full-on public use, degredation, genital torture or usual gore/death/bathroom stuff

Re: Konoka Konoe | Mahou Sensei Negima | OTA

[heavensmostwanted]

This oni was certainly...unique. Though the gap in levels increased between them, Naoki liked keeping her around. No other demon had charm magic that could even come close to Konoka's. Her natural aura alone seemed to cripple some monsters. And their connection was something he couldn't deny wanting more of. Even beyond her fueling his lust, being near her made Naoli briefly forget the hell he was enduring.

They took shelter in a busted down hotel room, light shining from a broken ceiling. A break was in order, and he was eager to relax. He smirked at Konoka. "So...you wanted to teach me something?"

Xander Harris l Buffy the Vampire Slayer l M/M

[xander_harris]

Character Description: A wimpy teen member of the scooby gang. He always runs from a fight, unless when he accidentally falls on a vamp and stakes them turning them to dust.
He has had lovers in the past, in fact, one of the ex-slayers actually tried to 'rape' him by saying YOU and throwing him on the bed. But, he does have a nice build and likes his significant other cold to the touch.


KINKS


YES:
Feeding- He likes feeding his Dom but also being hand fed by him.
Bathing- He worships every part of his Dom.
Talking/Therapy- He likes listening but also being able to unload.
Massage- He loves rubbing his hands over his Dom.
Nonsexual Bondage- Yes. He knows that his Dom does this as a way to get his anger out at times.
Humiliation in Public- If he deserves it, then let it be done wherever they may be.
Punishment- Read the above
Other- whatever his Dom says goes.
The Sexual Stuff
The light stuff- Everyone needs to have a little light in their life.
Bondage- Whatever makes his Dom happy
Sensory Deprivation- The more you can't see or hear the better the pleasure
Kink Parties- Who doesn't love a chance to talk with other subs and Doms?
Orgasm Denial/forced orgasm- He doesn't know how to control himself
Fucking Machine- He's never done it, so why not?


MAYBE:
Dates- Doesn't know if his Dom will be willing to be seen in public with him.
Negotiation (this may be willing or unwilling RP in the BDSM scene)
Shaving
As therapy
Role Play



NO:
Animal Play
Tattooing/Piercing
Genital Torture
Medical Fetish

elena gilbert | tvd

[martyric]

( either role is grand!
no to animal play, piercing, ageplay, electricity or medfetish. everything else is most likely ok, ask for qu's! general kink list here )

Bucky Barnes | MCU

[freightcars]

( permissions & kinks | Dominant | Prefer medium-long tags, no bratty subs, no passive partners. )

[cap_rogers0704]

[Would you be okay with a Steve?]

akemi morishita | original | m/m

[cupidite]

( not interested in feeding, shaving, piercing/tattooing, electricity, or medical fetish. kinks/info in journal. )

Ragnar | Vampire: The Masquerade | ota

[recyclesgods]

[Could be both dominant or submissive. All genders welcome.

Only interested in the "Everyday" prompts, preference for Everyday prompts 1-6, please chat with me before picking any of the others.

Cross-canon very welcome, I'm happy to chat about making up pre-existing CR if there's questions. Ragnar is a very old immortal human with Gimmicks, which he may or may not have told a partner depending on how strong the relationship is and how reliable he considers them, your pick. Also, he owns a dog which will probably be around, please tell me if you'd rather it wasn't.]

Jemma Simmons | Agents of SHIELD

[biochemistry]

[ota with f/f preference; yes to everyday 1-7, sexual 1, 2, 6, 7, 8, 9. Jem is a total sub, but while she's fixated on being a good girl and enjoys BDSM for how it gives her a chance to let go, it doesn't mean she doesn't have some hard lines. Absolutely nothing that even hints at dub/non-con, nothing more painful than the occasional spanking or edging, and while she genuinely loves gags and blindfolds when used with love, she will freak out if hearing deprivation is so much as suggested.]

Helena Bertinelli | Birds of Prey

[ammazzari]

[f/f; yes to everyday 1-7, sexual 1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Helena might seem like a domme, and she could be if asked, but her secret fantasies usually involve submission. She likes it rough and she likes being challenged while she works for it. She likes earning praise. She's also new enough to all this (and ex-Catholic enough) that she still has some very complicated guilty feelings about it.]

[fauxbaroque]

[If you don't mind a little xmedium, I feel like Helena would be someone Jeannette would very much enjoy playing with. Probably won't help the guilt, but she can provide a lot of new exciting sources for it at least.]

Nora Gainesborough | True Blood

[mendacium]

[ota; yes to everyday 1-8, 10, sexual 1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Nora will only really sub for Eric (trust issues) but will gladly domme the hell out of anyone she likes. She's not a lenient domme, but she's surprisingly conscientious. She's also not opposed to bloodplay, though it's not necessary. ]

Nymeria Sand | GOT/ASOIAF

[whiplike]

[ota with f/f preference for shipping, modern also available; yes to everyday 1-7, sexual 1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Nym won't submit to a man, but she'll dominate him if he meets her high standards. She'll go either way with women, though, and have a ball doing it. She likes to keep things fun, and consent is the only non-negotiable factor.]

Rowan Rallies-Protests | Werewolf the Apocalypse [Tabletop OC] | OTA

[ralliesprotests]

((Open to all genders. Rowan's a switch, so can Dom or sub, as a Dom uses mastress.

Everyday prompts: 8 only as Dom; 9 only as puppy play as sub, and only house pets (cats, dogs, rabbits etc.) as Dom
Sexual prompts: no to 6, 11, 13 or 14. 7 only as Dom. 5, 15 and 16 only as sub.

Info, permissions, and full kink list can be found through the links! Feel free to hit me up for any questions!))

Cecil Harvey • Final Fantasy IV (AU) • F/M

[proteusmoon]

( ooc ; she’s a generally kind, merciful young woman with excellent discipline, seeing how she is a knight and a military leader (or knight and monarch for later canon points), buuuut she has a stubborn competitive streak, so she can either be an uppity sub or a very loving and attentive sub, or a Domme who likes to spoil her sub most of the time but will get very strict if he acts out.

Pretty much every prompt is fine with her as the sub, but ask first if you want her to play the Domme. )

Raymond Reddington | The Blacklist | OTA

[redddington]

[ Red will 100% be the dom unless it's Liz Keen or Dembe. Open to all scenarios! ]

[standardprocedure]

Character Description: For all her bad-assery, Hill has a submissive side for the right guy. He has to have big enough brass cajones to make her back down. Otherwise, she'll steamroll right over him and lose all respect for him. But standing up to her, pinning her to a wall, throwing her over his shoulder, etc. will earn massive "oh, God, yes, please" points with her.

Kinks
YES!:
Bathing/massage, dirty talk, light bondage, forced orgasm, orgasm denial, edging, use of toys (vibes, dildos, etc.), dates

Maybe:
Forced piercings (nipples, clit, labia), thin silk ropes knotted in strategic spots that she has to wear all day under her clothes, machines, light pain play, sensory deprivation, light genital torture, public sex, kink parties

Meh:
Food, feet, shaving

Nah:
Animal play, role play, gags, other participants, medical

Hard pass:
Blood/scat/bodily fluids, weapons (whips, chains, knives, tasers, etc.), abuse/torture/torment

Peter Parker I Spiderman l MCU l M/M

[peterparker_spiderling]

Character Description:
18 years old, lean build. Can be a little slow on the uptake at times, a bit of a talker especially when he's nervous. A newbie to the lifestyle.

KINKS

YES:
feeding
bathing
talking/therapy
massage
dates
negotiation
nonsexual bondage
other
the light stuff
bondage
caning/whipping/spanking
sensory deprivation
first time
kink parties
orgasm denial/forced orgasm
role-play
fucking machines
other


MAYBE:
animal play
as therapy
ageplay
electricity


NO:
humiliation/in public
shaving
piercing/tattooing
genital torture
medical fetish

Sansa Stark | GoT | ota

[ladyxwolf]

[ Pref to be the sub.
open to everyday 1-8, sexual 1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 8, 10
maybe to sexual 5, 9, 16

canon, crosscanon, AUs ]

[fleuron]

[modern AU + everyday 7 + everyday 1/5 or 4?]

anders | dragon age

[mewnifestos]

[ ota canonmates, 25+ m/m pref for crosscanon (+ assumed cr). canon or modern au. open to either role; as a dom, he's more of a playful, light touch, in need of some kind of control in his life sort. as a sub, high strung and in need of boundaries he can safely push, but big on trading obedience for praise.

yes: all of the above prompts except no: ageplay, genital torture, medical fetish, or extreme pain, humiliation/degradation, dub/non-con. general kink list here. ]

Nie Huaisang | The Untamed | OTA

[eternalgrief]

[ He's most likely to be the submissive.

Open to:

Everyday: 2-11
Sexual: all, but especially 7, 10, 16 ]

Stiles Stilinski | Teen Wolf | m/m

[snarkycomments]

[ kinks ]

Jin Ling | The Untamed | OTA

[jinlingers]

[ Bratty sub whether he's top or bottom position wise.

The everyday: OTA, especially 2 and 10

The Sexual: Anything goes but gore/vore/scat. Long and short term orgasm denial, forced orgasms and ruined orgasms are all very high on the list of YES. Everything else listed is great. Age gap is a definite plus but not a must. Anything you have a question feel free to ask.]

[radishgrown]

They hadn't been doing this for too long. It was more of an experiment than anything but...Sizhui chuckles a little to himself...he really liked it. Control is something that he never expected that he would like over a partner. They had a way of knowing when Jin Ling just needed to...let go.

He looks at Jin Ling, unclothed and with none of the jewelry that he normally wears as Sect Leader, sitting on his heels and watching him expectantly. Sizhui is standing before him, his hands clasped behind him with a soft smile, drawing strength from within himself and inspiration from Grandmaster.

"a-Ling," he says softly but firmly. He reaches out and brushes his hand along the side of a-Ling's face before cupping it. "We had agreed this morning that you were not to touch yourself until we saw each other again this evening."

That morning, he had teased him to full hardness and had wrapped a white ribbon, not his own forehead ribbon this time, around the base with a promise of release if hebehaved. He had seen a-Ling sneak off earlier after a meeting and had sent a paperman to follow him. A neat trick that Wei-qianbei had taught him. And he had seen a-Ling reach to give himself a stroke to relieve some of the pressure.

Poe Dameron (AU) • Star Wars • ota

[poeticforce]

[ switch by default, leaning submissive. bratty sub (particularly initially) but can behave; not so much bratty out of defiance but simply his normal personality. he definitely has a thing for strong women. service top/caring dom; in a relationship he tends to be more about his partner's needs/pleasure than his own, and this generally reflects regardless of which side of the power dynamic he's on. he can be more strict (if needed) but in such cases is also a good example of how doms can need aftercare too after a scene.

I'm down for a lot, with variance based on character relationship/dynamics. very here for sex as therapy, ie. working through feelings of "capture/torture is bad but bondage/sexy torture can feel good" and similar things. or general, two people wanting to try things out since they're living in the middle of a war and who knows what could happen the next day. toying with power dynamics is also a personal fave; I'm always game for things like day-to-day shows one side of a relationship but in private or in the bedroom the roles are reversed (or blurred), the one who's dominant in the bedroom making the other wear something under their clothes while they're out doing everyday things (could be a toy, chastity, or simply a very subtle collar/cuff), subtle power play stuff like something said/done in the everyday has a consequence in private. all of which could also get played up depending on characters given military statuses and all. ]

[immortalmarshal]

((This is exactly how he likes it! Tends to be dominant, but can be submissive to certain canon/assumed/prior CR. Kinks and perms are found in his journal; he's most likely to help mentor someone who's just new to the lifestyle in general.))

jay garrick | the flash

[goldenflash]

for @cantseeyoursins

[goldenflash]

Jay really hadn't seen himself doing this. Hell, Jay hadn't really seen himself really going anywhere beyond Keystone City. But fate, as it seems, had other plans for him. He had been fighting the Rival with all of his might, the two of them able to wear each other down until they're both bloody, bruised, broken messes. Then he managed, with what he thought was his last breath, to give the Rival a final blow, obliterating the man from reality somehow. That blow had enough energy behind it to knock him six ways from Sunday.

Well...make that, knock Jay Garrick, the Flash, through time and space to crash land in a ditch somewhere in Ancient China. He barely groaned and it attracted the attention of a young woman, who had called her blind friend over. Despite how slight he was, he was able to lift Jay and take to an abandoned city nearby to heal up. Daozhang. That's what the girl had called her blind friend. That's what Jay had taken to calling him as well, the word foreign on his lips. It seemed to amuse his guardian angel as he was nursed back to health. Jay counts himself grateful for it, a special kind of healing touch that Daozhang had to add to his own super speed healing.

When he was able to, he would move around the city, Yi Cheng, the girl called it, helping with what he could, entertaining a-Qing with his strange stories and learning the language from her. Jay had even entertained her with his speedster capabilities; namely being able to get from one place to another very quickly. He'd always been a quick learner. His pronunciation could use work but he's able to learn enough to communicate with her and Daozhang.

The strange thing was...Jay found less and less reason to go home, to somehow find a way to return to Keystone. Things were peaceful here, even with things like fierce corpses and monsters that go bump in the night. Or not staying in Yi Cheng long. As soon as he was able to, the three of them set off wandering again...not finding any rooted place to call him. And...well, eventually, he had become real sweet on his guardian angel, not wanting to leave his side.

There was a night when a-Qing was fast asleep when he offered Daozhang, whose name he eventually learned, to see his face with his hands. The smile is enough to make Jay's knees weak and he's lucky that he gets to see that smile more often than not. The thin hands and fingers explored his face and Jay used the opportunity to turn and kiss his palm. Which led to kissing the inside of his wrist. Which led to kissing Daozhang's lips.

Jay wipes his face with a towel, fresh from a bath that had been taken away by the staff not too long ago.

That had been two years ago. They still wander with a-Qing, their own little family, and still haven't put down roots anywhere. Except now, when they stay in a town, sometimes, they stay in an inn. And sometimes, they allow a-Qing her own room for her own purposes. Perfect for a night like this. Xingchen had whispered of something he wished to try: to be entirely at Jay's whims and commands.

He looks at Xingchen seated neatly on the bed that they are sharing, still dressed in his under robe. Jay always makes sure his footsteps are heavier so that Xingchen could hear him no matter where he was standing. They had discussed it: how Xingchen could easily stop Jay if he wanted to and tell him when things were not playing out well. Jay approaches him, ideas in mind. He reaches over and picks up one of Xingchen's spare bandages. They could start with a bit of bondage, especially since Xingchen's already deprived of one of his senses.

"Xingchen," he says quietly, "are you ready?"