It happens to everyone - sometimes, you have nights where you just can't fall asleep, no matter what you do. It could be for a number of reasons, or no reason at all. And this is what's happened now: you've been laying in bed for what feels like hours, just tossing and turning, and nothing seems to help. So what's left to do? Get out of bed and go wake someone else up, of course. If you're not getting any sleep, then why should they?
i n s t r u c t i o n s • Post with your character (note the name and fandom in the subject).
• Other people reply to you by generating a number from 1 to 10.
• Have fun!
o p t i o n s 01 • FEAR. Maybe you're hearing strange, indeterminable noises; maybe there's a severe storm happening outside; maybe you watched a scary movie before bed? Whatever the reason, you're terrified and it's keeping you awake. You just want to wake someone else up so they can protect you from the monster in your closet.
02 • HUNGER. Your stomach is growling and it just won't stop. Or perhaps your throat is so dry you could cough up a tumbleweed? Well, you've gone to the kitchen to remedy this and hey, that was a pan that just dropped on the floor. It was loud enough to wake the dead! Oops.
03 • PAIN. Your body is completely worn out, be it from exercise, battle, sickness, or what have you. Either way you're in enough pain to keep you from sleeping, so maybe someone else has a home remedy or something, or can at least help you take your mind off of it.
04 • SOLITUDE. For some reason, your bed just feels so empty at the moment. You're feeling terribly lonely and really just want someone to keep you company for a while. Maybe it'd be easier to fall asleep if you're with them...
05 • DISCOMFORT. Your room is an oven. Either that or a freezer. Or maybe this bed is just really uncomfortable? Who knows why you can't get to sleep, it feels like it could be anything. Why even bother trying? Maybe someone else can preoccupy you until you feel tired enough to ignore your discomfort.
06 • PENSIVE. Something's on your mind, and no matter how hard you try to focus elsewhere, it's just not going to work. Your body may be tired, but your mind is incredibly busy and it's virtually impossible to get to sleep. Surely, talking it out with someone else will help?
07 • SADNESS. Something terrible has happened that day, perhaps; or you could just be severely depressed. Either way you're trying your hardest not to cry yourself to sleep, and it's not working at all. Better find a way to get it out of your system somehow; you need a shoulder to cry on.
08 • ANGER. You are just... fuming. Who knows why - that annoying dog is barking again, or maybe the people next door are getting busy and keeping you awake. Whatever the reason for your ire is, you'd better put an end to it so you can get some damn rest already! Go wake up a friend so you can complain to them.
09 • RESTLESS. You're far too energetic to sleep right now. Maybe you're just trying to do so out of necessity - you have to be up early tomorrow! But you just don't think you'll be able to fall asleep for a while now, so why waste the time trying to sleep when you could be doing something else? Namely bothering someone else - you're totally jealous because they're getting more sleep than you.
10 • WILDCARD. Choose one of the options above, or make up your own scenario.
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bakerstreet2020-10-01 04:32 pm
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[Man, she wants more alcohol, suddenly.] Not to mention if an accident were to happen.
[Thus begins the saga of Maria Harping On Ashe's Lifestyle, but tonight, she's drunk and can hardly articulate.]
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It's the nature of the beast. The life of an outlaw. The thrill of the chase and the sense of belonging among her crew had been enough to keep her where she was for two decades and counting. ]
I don't know what to tell you, Maria... This ain't a life I can just up n' leave at any time. [ A beat. She tights her hold on the other woman. ] Even as much as I don't wanna ever have to leave you. I can be more careful, but even that don't always matter.
[ A weak response, sure. But there's no comfort in this truth. ]
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[She'll keep on it later when she can think straight. She can't think about anything really at the moment, except just sort of trying to relax, and forget the bad dream, and just... enjoy Ashe's presence.
That's not working, either. It still bothers her, and it's clear in the restless way she starts to move, turning closer to Ashe. Maria wants to go back downstairs and finish off another bottle of alcohol. Not like it would kill her. Hell, it probably wouldn't even make her puke. She doesn't make a move that direction though.
Instead, she just holds the other woman closer, tighter.]
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Honestly, she's a little surprised Maria didn't get fed up with her a while ago; maybe her temper and reckless became a little too much to handle. That they didn't have some sort of disagreement and break it off, being that they're both so different. Somehow, despite everything, it has worked out. That's gotta be worth something.
Ashe sighs. This is a lot for so early in the morning. ]
So, what're we gonna do?
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[The urge is there, but the alcohol is clearing up a bit; the somberness of the conversation, the throbbing in her foot, her general metabolism, all of it is combining to start to sober her up a bit, but she isn't there yet, by far.
Then, the grip becomes almost painfully tight, and she, in all her drunken genius, decides to stand, despite the fact she's drunk and on one and a half functional feet.
It's okay, her goal is to just kind of flop them both over onto the bed, though. Flop them over, roll over a bit, and pin Ashe there. Not for anything untoward; not even a little bit. All she does is close her eyes, and lightly bump her forehead to the other woman's.] Maybe just rest for now.
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[ A soft breath catches in Ashe's throat as Maria's hold on her tightens even more. It's on the edge of painful, but not enough for her to react much more than that. It's just as tight as she wants it to be, honestly.
However, Maria stands, which does get a: Hey, wait a minute- from Ashe before she finds herself falling onto the bed with the other woman. And then she's pinned and, again, she can't really complain. She shifts a bit, arms still wrapped around her shoulders, albeit a bit more loosely. ]
We can sure try, can't we?
[ She presses a soft little kiss to Maria's lips and then tightens her hold on her again. ]
Wish you you sleep better.
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[The kiss isn't a surprise, but it does feel like a strange little jolt nonetheless. She takes a moment to just... enjoy the warmth, and the closeness. Even if she knows she probably reeks of booze, and her depression is clearly kicking her ass. This is Maria's way of being possessive. Another thing she rarely truly is, because she never wants to stifle another, but right now she's too drunk to care.
This is her outlaw. And she will cuddle said outlaw as tightly as she wants to. Which is pretty tightly, even after she realizes she should move over a little to get more comfortable on the actual bed so there's not two hundred-some pounds of Hunter causing joint problems for Ashe in the morning.
She also moves up to nuzzle into Ashe's neck and shoulder. It's warm, and soft, and smells like her girlfriend, and right now that's what Maria needs. Even if she's not going to fall asleep, no matter how drunk and depressed and exhausted she feels otherwise.
Because that image keeps coming back. Every time she closes her eyes for more than a moment. Nothing to do but to outwait it.]
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For now, though, she strokes Maria's hair and nuzzles her cheek against the side of her head. ]
Mm... C'mon, sugar. [ She shifts again with a soft, slightly strained noise. ] Let's at least get under the covers.
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She knows she has to, though, as soon as the other woman starts wriggling against her.
She lets up, and goes to crawl under the blankets again. She'll accept Ashe back into her arms if she wants to go, but if her outlaw would rather stay out, she's just as well. She'd deserve it.
Don't get depression, kids.]
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What can I do?
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[She sighs.] In the future? ... Live. Long as you can. That's what I want: You to... be with me. For as long as possible.
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[ Despite the fact that isn’t really for her to decide. Maybe, just maybe, she could afford to be more careful. The thought of both having and being something to lose has a way of making a girl think. Caring about someone else so deeply that hurting them that badly seems unforgivable? That’s... new.
When she’d never even known of the existence of anything other than omnics who would inevitably outlive any human, this is... painful. Awful. ]
How long are you gonna live?
[ And why even bother with a human if it’s a question of life span? Is there... really no one else? Not that she particularly wants Maria to leave. Come to find out, just the thought of it hurts like hell, too. ]
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[She shakes her head.] But it will be... a truly long time. A long time to dwell on regrets.
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It sounds like a terrible and lonely existence if there's literally no one else to spend the time with. ]
It is...
[ She's quite for a little while, absently toying with a piece of Maria's hair before she finally asks: ]
Why'd you decide to be with me if it's just gonna hurt when I'm gone?
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[She falls silent for a moment, pondering over what she wants to say. Way too much thinking, way too drunk, even if she's sobering up nicely now, but still...]
I should say... it's the quality of the time we spend together that would make it worthwhile. Surely, it will hurt, but... it'll... it'll be worth it for the good times. Yet... I'd like the quantity of time to be... as much as possible as well. If I can be that selfish.
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It's leaves an odd, twisting, aching feeling in the pit of Ashe's stomach amidst the utter confusion she still faces when she tries to truly understand what her partner is. But that isn't even all. This just... hurts in a way that she can't put her finger on; a way that she wasn't prepared for. ]
You've stuck around me this long... I figure you can be as selfish as you want. Can't say I've ever been with anyone else that I wanted the relationship to last as much as I do with you. I just can't promise you much regardin' time.
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It almost sounds like a sob, though nothing else that would tell of her crying follows.]
I know. I could even be killed before then. It's difficult, but not impossible to end my life through brute force.
[She curls her head forward and down a little, bracing Ashe with one of her arms as she presses in that much closer. Like she's suddenly afraid something the size of a human will simply slip from her grasp. Words are difficult at the moment, so she doesn't speak. She's afraid it would come out as some kind of desperate begging or something anyway. So Maria stays quiet.
... And maybe her actions speak for her anyway.]
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Dammit, Maria-
[ Said just a bit breathlessly; not necessarily due to Maria's grip. While she knows that her girlfriend can be killed, hearing her say that... It's definitely not something that's pleasant to think about, but apparently that's just the turn this night is taking.
Maria has been awfully protective and if it ended up getting her killed? Now, knowing that it is possible, and considering the level of artillery some places have, she'd never be able to forgive herself. Despite the fact that Maria chose to join them in their illegal endeavors. ]
Nngh-[ She presses her hands against the other woman's chest, pushing her away just enough to look at her again. ] If you knew that it was possible that you could die and now it's a problem if I do, then what were you thinkin' joinin' up with me? You knew how dangerous it was, you've seen enough heists to know how one wrong move can mean life or death. Why's this only comin' up now and how long've you been thinkin' about this?
[ Her voice is sharp, but she sounds more... upset than angry. ]
I don't wanna lose anybody, either... Least of all you, but the threat is always gonna be there. I can't... make that better. Can you be happy here with me with the way things are? Is this really somethin' you wanna do?
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Maria's grip loosens on Ashe; in fact, it slides away entirely, and she withdraws further onto her side of the bed, propping herself up on one elbow to look down at the other woman.] Why-... why do you keep questioning me, like you want me to leave? Are you trying to convince me it's not worth it? [Now it's her turn to dig in, for the edge on her voice to go steely and dangerous.] I'm not going to just write you off like-... like it seems you're so used to other people doing in your life.
[#ShotsFired]
It's a new development. It's been a terrifyingly rapid development. [Oh now she's getting kind of angry.] I know what dangerous lives are like. No one expected the Hunters to survive to see the dawn, least of all the Hunters themselves. And for what? To get a pat on the back, a beer at the tavern, and to be sent out on the next Hunt to try not to be brutally eviscerated by moonlight. I've been walking this... razor's edge for centuries before you were even born, and I-...
[She pauses, as though startled at her own thought process.] I'm tired of it. And I am frightened. Because I know what the end looks like for so many people who purposefully keep their necks out where the blades can get to them. I care about you... you far too much to want to see you do the same, but unless you decide to walk away yourself-
[Ah, there's another startling thought. Why not do what Maria herself did... and leave? But her mouth keeps moving without her brain caught up to it yet.] - then I guess I'm going to keep fretting, and I'm going to keep doing what I can to keep you safe for as long as possible.
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The problem is that her girlfriend isn’t wrong about any of it, and every word stirs and mixes a little bit of anger, a little bit of fear and a little bit of something else that is almost a bit too much for her to process at once. And she isn’t even drunk. Finally, when Maria makes it very evident, again, that she cares and that maybe Ashe should get out while she still can, she breathes a heavy, frustrated sigh and rakes her fingers through her hair. Her anger hasn’t reached a boiling point, nor is it explosive, surprisingly. In fact, she begins looking just a touch more conflicted than angry.
She opens her mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. Suddenly, she wishes that she had also downed an entire bottle of bourbon. Her mind is racing a million miles a minute and she can’t find the words to come up with a good response or a snappy comeback.
She moves to sit back against the headboard, draping her arms over her knees and tilting her head back to rest against the wall. Finally, she gives a small shrug of her shoulders. ]
You know I won't walk away. I can't just leave behind everything I worked for and the gang I pledged my loyalty to. [ She pauses. ] Will all that trouble really be worth it... for you?
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And, honestly, probably not in this bed at the moment. Which drives Maria to sit up further again, pushing herself toward the edge of the bed.] You're always so self-assured. Why is it now that you choose to question your own value to me?
[She reaches up to rub her eyes with one of her hands, to quell the burning, exhausted ache in them. The adrenaline is fading rapidly, both from the injury and from the argument, and she's once again reminded of her own poor sleeping habits. And as she does, she sighs. Gods, this is not how she wants this night end.] You could stop throwing yourself quite so right into the thick of things. You could do a lot of things, even if you won't give up your lifestyle, to make it less potentially catastrophic. If not because you care about yourself, then because others care about you. It's not just me - what do you think your gang is going to do when you die? They'll mourn, just as well, and be left leaderless.
[She kicks her feet out from under the covers, and stands up. She only sways a little, which is a good sign, but there's a crumpled, weakened look to her. Seven feet tall, and she doesn't look it, at the side of that bed, with as hunched as her neck and shoulders are, pushed down on by a lot of different weights.] Just... think, Elizabeth. That's all I ask. Consider what you stand to lose. Consider what I stand to lose. Even consider what your boys have to lose.
Regardless, know I'm not going to give up on you so easily. I've been happy with you. [Much as she looks very miserable at the moment. Miserable, and maybe a little lonely.] The danger... I've done far worse things for far less recompense. I've nearly thrown my own life away for lesser... or given it up to try to run from my guilt. I suspect the reasons for lacking consideration for one's own life are different between us, but the end result could quite well be the same.
[She motions to take her leave.] I'll not be sleeping anymore this night, so I'll leave you to it.
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There’s a lot of things still running through her mind, making her question and wonder. When she’s so keen on taking chances, why is it that she’s suddenly hesitant? She knows the answer; she knows it far too well and both doesn’t want to acknowledge or admit it.
Maria’s words still sting in just how much truth is behind them, along with the... revelation that her girlfriend had tried to take her own life before. And now she's leaving the room, which is something that Ashe absolutely does not want. Even if it might be for the best that they have a little bit of time to themselves. Just the way Maria looks… She doesn’t want to leave her to her own thoughts. So, she gets up, crossing the room to her and wrapping her arms tightly around her waist as she buries her face into her back. ]
I'm sorry. [ She sighs and tightens her hold on her a little more. ] ... Don't go. We don't have to talk anymore.
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In fact, it sticks out in her mind when Ashe had been upset and she'd called her back to hold her instead of letting her isolate herself to overthink how upset the documentary had made her.
The difference, of course, being that Maria is not nearly so physical as her girlfriend, nor so easily appeased by simple cuddling. She likes isolation at times, far away from people. Some of her best years were when she wasn't interacting with anyone she didn't want to, when she lived in the small towns and countryside of England and Ireland.
But Ashe doesn't operate on that same principle, and more than that, Maria knows she's doing what she knows best to try to comfort them both. So she stops, and takes a moment to try to breathe and center herself, and stop the spinning of the world beneath her feet.
She lets the silence linger for just about long enough, it might even start to feel like she's about to say no. In truth, she has to swallow down a knot in her throat, after she's done trying not to lose her balance and stay focused on the task at hand.
Ugh, the warmth and comfort of her - their - bed sounds too good to deny at the moment. The only reason she'd want to leave is because of the tension between them.
She's getting too used to this. She squeezes her eyes shut, and then takes a half-step back, trying not to kick Ashe in the process.] Alright. Come on.
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Slowly, she starts loosening her hold on her and then she feels her move back before she speaks. Okay. Alright. That's... that's good. That's fine. She tries not to look as relieved as she feels as she releases the hunter, and walks back over to their bed, climbing back onto it and waiting for her to join.
She feels... like and idiot. In every sense of the word, but she can work it out later. ]
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She slides back under the covers, and then...
Rolls a bit onto her back. Not for nothing, but she doesn't invite Ashe over with her. Not at the moment.
Maybe when she's had some time to stare at the ceiling ]
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