It happens to everyone - sometimes, you have nights where you just can't fall asleep, no matter what you do. It could be for a number of reasons, or no reason at all. And this is what's happened now: you've been laying in bed for what feels like hours, just tossing and turning, and nothing seems to help. So what's left to do? Get out of bed and go wake someone else up, of course. If you're not getting any sleep, then why should they?
i n s t r u c t i o n s • Post with your character (note the name and fandom in the subject).
• Other people reply to you by generating a number from 1 to 10.
• Have fun!
o p t i o n s 01 • FEAR. Maybe you're hearing strange, indeterminable noises; maybe there's a severe storm happening outside; maybe you watched a scary movie before bed? Whatever the reason, you're terrified and it's keeping you awake. You just want to wake someone else up so they can protect you from the monster in your closet.
02 • HUNGER. Your stomach is growling and it just won't stop. Or perhaps your throat is so dry you could cough up a tumbleweed? Well, you've gone to the kitchen to remedy this and hey, that was a pan that just dropped on the floor. It was loud enough to wake the dead! Oops.
03 • PAIN. Your body is completely worn out, be it from exercise, battle, sickness, or what have you. Either way you're in enough pain to keep you from sleeping, so maybe someone else has a home remedy or something, or can at least help you take your mind off of it.
04 • SOLITUDE. For some reason, your bed just feels so empty at the moment. You're feeling terribly lonely and really just want someone to keep you company for a while. Maybe it'd be easier to fall asleep if you're with them...
05 • DISCOMFORT. Your room is an oven. Either that or a freezer. Or maybe this bed is just really uncomfortable? Who knows why you can't get to sleep, it feels like it could be anything. Why even bother trying? Maybe someone else can preoccupy you until you feel tired enough to ignore your discomfort.
06 • PENSIVE. Something's on your mind, and no matter how hard you try to focus elsewhere, it's just not going to work. Your body may be tired, but your mind is incredibly busy and it's virtually impossible to get to sleep. Surely, talking it out with someone else will help?
07 • SADNESS. Something terrible has happened that day, perhaps; or you could just be severely depressed. Either way you're trying your hardest not to cry yourself to sleep, and it's not working at all. Better find a way to get it out of your system somehow; you need a shoulder to cry on.
08 • ANGER. You are just... fuming. Who knows why - that annoying dog is barking again, or maybe the people next door are getting busy and keeping you awake. Whatever the reason for your ire is, you'd better put an end to it so you can get some damn rest already! Go wake up a friend so you can complain to them.
09 • RESTLESS. You're far too energetic to sleep right now. Maybe you're just trying to do so out of necessity - you have to be up early tomorrow! But you just don't think you'll be able to fall asleep for a while now, so why waste the time trying to sleep when you could be doing something else? Namely bothering someone else - you're totally jealous because they're getting more sleep than you.
10 • WILDCARD. Choose one of the options above, or make up your own scenario.
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bakerstreet2020-10-01 04:32 pm
no subject
On the other... [ His hand drops back to his chest, fingers drumming against his chest. ] Too much can go wrong and as horrify'n as it is to read about or try to set right out here, it's a million times worse when I think about my baby girl in the middle of it.
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You're right. The potential for shit to go wrong is endless, and it's terrifying.
[ No use trying to say otherwise, because saying otherwise would be false, and disingenuous anyway. They both know what lurks out here. ]
No matter what, someday, as a parent, you're gonna make a choice in good faith and something will go wrong. It's inevitable. That choice could just as easily be 'stay home' as it could be 'go for it'. We can't see the future.
[ Hm. ]
Well. Mostly. But I never saw anything in Ambassador Spock's head about Jo having a bad time.
[ Something Jim virtually never speaks of, but it's worth not pretending it doesn't exist, for the sake of Bones' kid. ]
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[ Everything too much at the time. Him all hollowed out and broken by losing his father, by the cure coming two weeks after, by his wife pulling the worst kind of stunt on him. Rebuilding that bridge-
it's taking time. They're both trying, sort of, for Joannah. It's better than he figured. Leonard cracks an eye open, hazel near inky black in the dim room as he stares at Jim. ]
...You know too much has changed for all that to really keep on count'n, right? [ But it's a token grump at best. If anything the ironbound tension in his shoulders eases somewhat. Not much but- enough. ] If you get a solid look at it and everything seems on the level? Like it's a good program?
I'll allow it.
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Maybe Earth blows up tomorrow, though. That'd suck. No way to know. ]
I'll go over it with the finest of combs, [ he says, somewhat light just to try and keep Bones from sliding back into the abyss, but it's a serious promise. ] And you have my word I won't just rubber stamp it to let Jo have a good time. They've got to be cleared.
[ He fully realizes that he's looping himself into the responsibility and blame chain if something does go wrong, but he's always willing to risk catching that grenade for - or from - Bones. Just how it is. ]
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[ Leonard turns his head, both eyes open and locked on Jim's brightly blue. ] Resist the temptation to dig up dirt on Joss's new boyfriend. I know it'll be nigh impossible but- apparently, this one seems nice. Anything's a step up from Clay.
[ While surprised that didn't follow through, they were too similar for any kind of relationship to last. And while he'll always ache about not rais'n Jojo himself?
Someone nice is an improvement over a cheating bastard. ]
Though, apparently, he's a bit of a fanboy of yours. So. Maybe he's trouble. [ This is said with good humor as he hauls himself out of the slump, head canted to Jim. ] What's got you up?
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So, happy to move on: ]
I think I have Ebola. [ Gravely. ] Nah, I was just finishing some correspondence up and noticed you hadn't come back to quarters yet, so I figured I'd make sure you weren't asleep on your office floor, or something.
[ Nothing out of the ordinary. Starfleet captains don't sleep. It's not brand new information. ]
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The rest of him is simply glad for the company in his little 'not sure if safe or not' club regarding the new boy toy. There've been worse ones, sure, but that's damning the gu with faint praise. ]
You what. [ Flat, hollow, enough to get the old eyebrow hiked up. ] You know damn well I pass out on the desk, not under it. Fall'n asleep on the floor would be better for my spine, though.
[ He sighs, scrubbing at his face with half a mind on Jim and eyes out into the void. ] You never really miss it, do you? All this- it's enough.
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The question, though. He pauses, but only because he knows answering right away about not giving a crap about anything 'left behind' makes him looks nuts. It's not that he dislikes or resents Earth.
Just— ]
This is what I'd miss.
[ He shrugs. ]
For a while... I had myself worked up because I thought I should want something else, and I didn't understand why I didn't. I thought I was letting people [ his father, Chris ] down because I wasn't pining for 'after', I didn't have some long-term plan waiting for me. But this is me. Out here.
[ A wife and kids was George Kirk, the dream of a nature preserve in the Mojave was Chris Pike; Jim is this shit until he's dead or something changes his mind. He's not bothered by it anymore. He is who he is and he doesn't miss the times before he had a home with Starfleet and this ship. ]
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[ Which isn't to say he's going to step down anytime soon. As long as Jim is flying? Len will be up here with him, bar moments of leave to check in with his family dirtside. ]
You know we go room for you at the Ranch whenever you like, if you feel like spend'n leave with me and my family. [ On account of Jim being pretty well part of said family by now. ]
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Jim just thinks: it's just as likely for something awful to happen on a planet. Tarsus. Vulcan. What's there to be afraid of, comparatively? At least they're in control out here.
He can't say that shit to Bones, though, it's dumb and patronizing. ]
I'm sure I will again one of these leaves. [ Jim smiles at him, easy. ] If I can manage to take one.
[ His last extended leave had been mandated by their superiors on account of, uh, his death. Quite impressively in his opinion, he's managed to weasel out of ever taking a serious one besides that, finding training programs to head or interim commands to take, dipping in to seeing friends on in-between weekends. ]
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[ Bit of a low blow, pulling out the family receipts RE who does and doesn't miss Jim (they all do, they've folded the brilliant broken boy into their arms as surely as they welcomed Leonard after everything) But he's not above fighting dirty to get Jim's feet back on the dirt long enough to fill him up with pie and grounding human affection.
He insists baking in the officer's kitchen isn't the same. And it isn't. There's no creaky window shutter leading out to the yard, no thundering of feet up and down the stairs, no scent of ripe peaches on the breeze. No shred of a million little details Jim never got in his own dusty home that Leonard can't boil into his skin and bones (not for lack of trying) to make him love at least one place on earth.
The people matter more, anyway.
Weary and reminded all too well of the last time he had Jim dirtside, Leonard shifts, slinging an arm around his shoulders, pulling him in. Like trying to tangle his hands in the tail of a comet and hold on for dear life, running around with Jim. Nevermind how it boils the skin or shreds the bones- he holds fast. Because someone needs to. ]
Maybe we should hit Risa next time we're in the area. [ A smaller ask, honestly. ] Knock about like we're still idiots in their academy reds again.
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(Also, he likes them. He talks to Winona more now - he's made peace with her, making peace and cultivating understanding like children sometimes do when they become adults - but their relationship will never be exactly like mother and son.) ]
Oh, you go from visiting your grandmother to Risa. [ Jim doesn't need quite as much exploitation to take that kind of holiday, given leisure plants tend to be more on the way, but he still cuts them short, anymore. ]
Are you more likely to share a room with me in Georgia or on Risa?
[ Fake Meme Continuity Option A: It's been a minute. Option B: Shooting his shot. u decide ]
Option B
[ He has to tug until Jim's tucked up close so he won't get squirrely on him and slip away while he takes the time to consider the question.
Could mean nothing, could mean plenty, but due to the aforementioned 'everything they've survived' he doubts it means nothing. Saying he's not attracted to Jim would be a goddamn lie, nearly everyone they run into is dazzled by him for so many reasons listing them would take forever.
Saying he's not emotionally entangled to some degree of codependency would also be a lie.
The point of consideration is...does he have space in his ragged, tore up heart for another go.
Thumb idly swiping against Jim's shoulder while he rolls it all around, considering his jagged edges long since worn smooth, the ruin of his heart overgrown with determined brilliant blue and gold kudzu named Kirk-
Couldn't hurt. ]
Yes.
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Nah, he thinks. Relaxed against the other man, taking no further action beyond the way his knee is leaned into his still. It makes perfect sense to throw it out there casual and comfortable, at least to Jim. Bones is just about the only constant in his life. Certainly the only person he's ever trusted unconditionally. If they're talking about family vacations and resort planets and looking after his daughter, well—
Seems timely.
And then Jim laughs and elbows him lightly. ]
That's not an answer, you dick.
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[ Leonard snorts, turning to tip his head against Jim's hair, eyes slipping closed. It's as natural an extension of everything else they've done and- maybe it's a little codependent. Maybe.
But they can live with that. ]
Yes means I'll be shar'n a room with you in both places. Long as you don't kick me out.
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Who's he kidding, of course they know.
Unseen, Jim smiles. He snags Bones' hand, the one not wrapped around his shoulders, and holds it. Presses his thumb into his palm, rubs out across the bridge of his fingers, stretches his pinkie out gently. ]
Like I would. [ Even without specifically asking, and implying all kinds of intimacy previously politely ignored. ] But you still have to pick, or else I'll just keep working.
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Home, first. Or Gran will give us hell. She's got money on this.
[ He noses at Jim's temple, reaching with his free hand to tilt Jim's face up. They don't need to, it's not a requirement, but he leans in all the same. Makes the first step so Jim won't have to, takes the jump so he can catch Jim when he follows. Lip to lip and it's not a grand new revelation it's-
Warm and chaste, more affection than desire. A hello, a beginning. ]
We'll do Risa next.
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Against the other man, he smiles. ]
Bones, [ he laughs, and shifts so he can press towards him, teasing, ] we're socialists.
[ Of course Gran's got money on it, though. Of course Bones' weird family has been waiting for this, completely aware of shit they've been content to let be without inspection. He briefly wonders what Winona might think, and considers she probably won't be surprised. ]
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[ Leonard huffs a soft laugh, a breathless little breath tinged in good humor as he shits his grip from the comfortable, companionable shift and settle they usually do to something a little older and less familiar to how he curls around Jim. Less across the shoulders, more around the back, less sprawling and touching for the sake of touching, and more-
Holding to be close. His other hand comes around to cup Jim's cheek, pulling him in for another slower, sweeter kiss. No to start anything but o promise that maybe, when they're not both bone-tired, there'll be something to look forward to. ]
no subject
He's exhausted, and the kiss doesn't ask to be anything more than it is, but he still has to open his mouth and press his tongue against Bones' and taste him, and nuzzle in close after, breathe him in. Remnants of familiar cologne and sickbay sterilizer, and the even more familiar presence, which is probably just sweat. Glamorous, all of it, but Jim winds his arms around Bones and sighs. Content and pleased. ]
Feel like you could get to sleep, now?
[ Still plenty of worries out there, he's sure. But Jim hopes he's been able to settle him some. ]
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[ Roughly thirty percent of the everpresent tension in his shoulders and spine has gone loose enough for him to contemplate sleep. His girl will be mind and this- not so nebulous thing between them has a name. Their boundaries shift and settle into something new and solid that was always there, waiting for them to both be in a place to handle it gently.
Because there's been so much violence in their lives in one way or another, they deserve somewhere soft to land.
Hand cupping Jim's cheek, he drops another kiss to his lips, nosing against his jaw afterward. ]
C'mon, Jimmy. Lemme take you to bed.
[ He doesn't want to untangle himself and he doesn't want to sleep on the sofa, so. He adjusts his grip and adjusts until he's able to get his arms under Jim properly, holding him close as he hefts and heaves and stands. ]