the i n s o m n i a meme

[bababooey]

the i n s o m n i a meme

It happens to everyone - sometimes, you have nights where you just can't fall asleep, no matter what you do. It could be for a number of reasons, or no reason at all. And this is what's happened now: you've been laying in bed for what feels like hours, just tossing and turning, and nothing seems to help. So what's left to do? Get out of bed and go wake someone else up, of course. If you're not getting any sleep, then why should they? i n s t r u c t i o n s • Post with your character (note the name and fandom in the subject). • Other people reply to you by generating a number from 1 to 10. • Have fun! o p t i o n s 01 • FEAR. Maybe you're hearing strange, indeterminable noises; maybe there's a severe storm happening outside; maybe you watched a scary movie before bed? Whatever the reason, you're terrified and it's keeping you awake. You just want to wake someone else up so they can protect you from the monster in your closet. 02 • HUNGER. Your stomach is growling and it just won't stop. Or perhaps your throat is so dry you could cough up a tumbleweed? Well, you've gone to the kitchen to remedy this and hey, that was a pan that just dropped on the floor. It was loud enough to wake the dead! Oops. 03 • PAIN. Your body is completely worn out, be it from exercise, battle, sickness, or what have you. Either way you're in enough pain to keep you from sleeping, so maybe someone else has a home remedy or something, or can at least help you take your mind off of it. 04 • SOLITUDE. For some reason, your bed just feels so empty at the moment. You're feeling terribly lonely and really just want someone to keep you company for a while. Maybe it'd be easier to fall asleep if you're with them... 05 • DISCOMFORT. Your room is an oven. Either that or a freezer. Or maybe this bed is just really uncomfortable? Who knows why you can't get to sleep, it feels like it could be anything. Why even bother trying? Maybe someone else can preoccupy you until you feel tired enough to ignore your discomfort. 06 • PENSIVE. Something's on your mind, and no matter how hard you try to focus elsewhere, it's just not going to work. Your body may be tired, but your mind is incredibly busy and it's virtually impossible to get to sleep. Surely, talking it out with someone else will help? 07 • SADNESS. Something terrible has happened that day, perhaps; or you could just be severely depressed. Either way you're trying your hardest not to cry yourself to sleep, and it's not working at all. Better find a way to get it out of your system somehow; you need a shoulder to cry on. 08 • ANGER. You are just... fuming. Who knows why - that annoying dog is barking again, or maybe the people next door are getting busy and keeping you awake. Whatever the reason for your ire is, you'd better put an end to it so you can get some damn rest already! Go wake up a friend so you can complain to them. 09 • RESTLESS. You're far too energetic to sleep right now. Maybe you're just trying to do so out of necessity - you have to be up early tomorrow! But you just don't think you'll be able to fall asleep for a while now, so why waste the time trying to sleep when you could be doing something else? Namely bothering someone else - you're totally jealous because they're getting more sleep than you. 10 • WILDCARD. Choose one of the options above, or make up your own scenario.

Comments

[sibylservice]

[Her hand lingers in his, icy cold against his feverish warmth. It's comforting to her, the contrast.]

What can I say? I like to be tall. It gives me a sense of perspective.

[civillian]

[Hot as his body runs, the ring on his ring hand's pointer finger almost burns, and he's careful to tilt his hand so it won't sting her. His father's wedding band is both a poor fit and too much a keepsake to forsake, much as it's raised questions from people from time to time.]

I like being at the top of hills, looking down at the world. It makes things seem bearable. Small, distant, contained. I used to love seeing the city lights on the river at night. The world felt... manageable. Small enough to escape, someday.

[And that had proven to be a correct thought. Eventually.]

[sibylservice]

And yet you mock my trees.

[She's not actually upset at all, just trying to make sure the conversation stays light for the moment. JC doesn't need to obsess over his past when he's already having trouble sleeping.]

[civillian]

Yes, because tree branches are very prone to breaking. Hilltops, not so much. My angst was strategic and sensible.

[Bold faced lies, it was purely about finding a lonely place to blast sad music on his MP3 player and stare at the city. His teen years were peak emo, despite the region not being home to that subculture.]

[sibylservice]

The key is balance, JC. Both with angst and with tree branches.

But then, I might be a little jealous because I didn't have many places to escape to as a teenager myself.

[civillian]

I didn't have a ton of places. But I had two, and that was good enough for me - despite the regrettable lack of trees.

[He fiddles with the ring on his hand, tilting his head thoughtfully.] Where did you go to get away, if you could?

[sibylservice]

I'd trade chores with my siblings and cousins so I could do things that let me be alone with the animals on the farm, whenever possible. They were always a lot easier to talk to than any of my family.

[civillian]

Ah. I'm an only child, but I understand what you mean about animals. The dogs of the city were good company, though inevitably I wasn't allowed to keep them. They were good listeners.

[A pause, and then, carefully:] Do you miss the farm?

[sibylservice]

I mean, the farm was basically a cult compound, and I don't miss most of the people, but...the rhythms of life there were something I could have enjoyed in another context, I think. It's complicated, trying to disentangle how much I miss the place itself from all the other associations.

[Her gaze flickers sidelong at him.]

You understand, I'm sure.

[civillian]

You miss the routine, knowing what would come next from season to season, having some pattern that could be seen even if other things weren't entirely certain. Yeah, I... I understand.

[He meets her gaze, struck both by how young she looks and how tired. They're too young to be this level of worn down, but maybe that means they're young enough to pull back from it and find happiness again. JC would like to think that, anyway.]

I miss the food. It's stupid, I know, I know, but, well. You understand, I'm sure.

[sibylservice]

[To be fair, she stopped aging when she became a vampire; he doesn't actually know how old she is. It's only been ten years, but still.]

I miss food in general. But I definitely know what you're talking about. The stuff you can't get here, that most people think you're crazy for remembering fondly.

[civillian]

[People with superpowers age on delay. He'll end up in the same boat as her eventually, looking young despite not being it, but at the moment JC looks like what he is.]

I learned early on that people here don't find the idea of hot pepper in jelly particularly appealing. Worse, here it's a hipster product. I'm thinking of learning to make my own, honestly, just so I don't have to shop at stores with names like "The Dancing Rainbow" manned by people named things like Crystal Raven and Ash Oakenthorn and I'm realizing mid-sentence that as a pagan who lives in the same city as me, you may know the people I'm referring to.

[Fuuuuck did he just insult her friends?]

[sibylservice]

[She laughs aloud at that comment, though, shaking her head.]

It's Oakthorne, not Oakenthorn, and he's a huge teddy bear once you get to know him. But honestly, I've got no room to judge, given I totally chose my name out of Greek mythology, like my sire did before me. Like, if I introduced myself with my full name and title, I'd sound like as much of a prat as Swansong Merriweather, High Priestess of the Moon-Blest Circle, honestly.

[civillian]

I simply gave up on people here pronouncing my actual name correctly. J makes a Y sound and C makes a Ch sometimes in my native tongue and it's just a headache. I guess the advantage of using Greek and nature names is that it gets around that problem, but... it's a little hard to get used to.

[Crystal Raven is a weird mental image, no matter how many times he hears it.]

[sibylservice]

See, that just makes me want to try and learn to pronounce your name as well as possible, just so you can occasionally hear it from time to time.

For me, taking on a new name was throwing off my family's power and declaring who I wanted to be. I did keep my surname, though. That part, I kind of like.

[civillian]

My mother called me by pet names and nicknames a lot of the time. I don't associate my name with too many terrible things, but it's likely I'll never be able to truly be at ease with endearments like 'darling' and 'sweetheart' and especially 'little one'. I have thought about changing my surname, though, once I'm legally able to do so. I don't like the associate it has.

[He pauses, considering whether to say it, but looks over at her and says softly,] It's Jefrosinije Ćiro. My full name. You don't - you don't have to use it if you don't want to. I know it's a bit much.

[sibylservice]

ye-FRO-sinny-yay CHI-ro?

[An attempt was made to replicate the sounds that just came out of his mouth. Truly, an attempt was made.]

[civillian]

Yef-roh-sin-ee-ey Cheer-roh. More or less. I'm aware it's a mouthful, and it's fine if you don't want to deal with it. Really.

[It's a lot. It's also deeply religious, in context. Fortunately that's gone over her head, so the risk of it making her uncomfortable is negligible.]

[sibylservice]

[She tilts her head to one side slightly, considering him before she speaks. She doesn't raise her volume--if anything, it's softer than she was speaking before. But there's an intensity to it now.]

Listen to me, Jefrosinije Ćiro. On some level when you say that, you're also apologizing for yourself. Trying to offer me an out, a reason not to deal with all of who you are, and where you come from, trying to minimize the space you take up in a small way.

And I don't want that out. I want to know you, as you are, as you will be in the future.

[civillian]

I just don't want to bother anyone.

[She's not wrong. She's right, and good at reading him and calling him out on what he's doing. In a way it's worse than if she were to be cruel towards him. JC - Jefro, to his family, back when he had one - has never known what to do with kindness.]

I don't want where I come from to be all that I am. I also don't want to keep throwing up all these words and feelings at you about the past. The last time I cared about someone, and felt like I could open up, I overshared until that person left. I... I don't want it to happen again. I want to get to know you, too. As you are and as you will be. That means I can't just keep unloading my baggage on you or ask you to call me my obnoxious foreign name or otherwise make demands of you all the time.

[sibylservice]

[It's actually a bad habit of hers, calling people out on their bullshit whether they're ready for it or not. It's not always done to be kind (though in this instance that is the intention); sometimes she just goes scorched-earth on someone, giving them a tongue-lashing from hell.]

Your name is not obnoxious, and you've been the opposite of demanding. Alright? I promise you, if I get annoyed, I can let you know. But you're nowhere near that yet.

[civillian]

[The bluntness reminds him of his mother, and her talent for putting people on the spot. It's not necessarily a pleasant feeling. He's seen earth scorched down to cinders.

He ducks his head, looking just as tired and small as he feels.] It hurt, you know. Thinking I could finally talk to someone and having her walk away when I did. I thought I knew how to not be overwhelming, but now I don't have that kind of confidence anymore. I'm still stunned you want to talk to me after my breakdown the first time we met, really.

[sibylservice]

I can imagine that'd rock your confidence pretty hard, yeah. Though...did she try to talk to you about it at all? Communication's a two-way road. If she was uncomfortable, she could have said something.

[civillian]

She didn't say anything at the time, no. And then the next time we spoke, she told me I was toxic and too much to deal with. [He hasn't had the best luck with women, clearly. Phaedra's the first woman in his life who's been a clear communicator (aside from his mother, who is both a clear communicator and incapable of empathy, which led to some truly brutal honesty).] To be fair, I then proceeded to leave the country, so there's plenty of bad judgment to go around, there.

[sibylservice]

[It sounds sort of really awful all around, and she's frustrated on his behalf.]

I sort of want to hold you right now. Want to climb down and sit at the bottom of the tree for a bit?