classified ads

[betweenasock]

the classified ads meme

A classified ad is an ad designed to either sell a certain thing, or to find someone who is willing to sell a thing that you wish to buy. You can also sell your own services or post jobs for others.

How this works:
○ Post with your character. Instead of putting in their name and canon in the subject line, you are going to put their ad.

For instance, if they are SELLING something the subject line would look something like this:

FOR SALE: 1 XBOX, USED BUT IN GOOD CONDITION

If you are looking for something it might look like this:

WANTED: XBOX AS LONG AS IT WORKS.

You can further elaborate in the body of your comment about it if you want, just remember classified ads are usually short and to the point. It will also be assumed that your character has their phone number and email along with their ad for others to contact them.

○ Look around. See someone advertising something your character would be interested in, or looking for something your character might have? Tag them!

Comments

WANTED: SUPER VILLAINS FOR INVASION OF ALTERNATE EARTH

[emperorinside]

◘ Professionals preferred, but amateurs considered.
◘ Longterm scheme, will involve working away from home for some time.
◘ Minions will be provided.

[manipulatrix]

Invading alternate Earths is always fun. Are you intent on taking over, destroying, or both?

[emperorinside]

The Earth I have selected contains significant amounts of a material I have great use for, but is prohibitively scarce in my home reality. My intention is to strip the planet bare of it, which will be much easier when the population is doing it for me.

So a little of both, dear girl. Crushing and humiliating their champions, subjugating the population, that sort of thing. Depending on who applies I might arrange for us to cause some great disaster and appear as saviours to the desperate masses.

[starqueen]

I don't know what this 'Earth' is but I could certainly use a holiday...

[emperorinside]

3rd rock from the sun. [ He says it completely dryly. He makes his jokes to amuse himself, doesn't matter if no one else gets it. Holding up a hand, a holographic image appears in his palm, showing an example Earth. ] It has seen off many enemies and is not to be underestimated. Unless you enjoy hard-won battles, the invasion will be no vacation.

For Sale: 1 Gently Used Microwave

[betterinvestigator]

Best offer.

Re: For Sale: 1 Gently Used Microwave

[pricklywolf]

What's a "microwave"?

WANTED: ukiyo-e artist

[love_the_smell]

Traditional sculptors, painters, and other artisans may also apply.

Wanted: Rare Books

[transfuge]

Will pay a fair price based on condition of book and the rarity of the printing.

[mammothcheese]

I've got a full set of Marobar Sul's Ancient Tales of the Dwemer series. A couple of the covers might be a little singed or scorched. Some were picked up in dank caves or dungeons.

Witcher For Hire

[pricklywolf]

Need a monster hunted down? Competent escort to guide you safely through a dangerous trek? Curse broken? Make me an offer.

[sleepyscholar]

I'm looking hire someone who can fight off bandits and monsters while I search for a special tome. I do require someone willing to pay extra attention, since I have a bad habit of falling asleep suddenly, even while walking or on horseback.

I'm happy to pay more for the bother.

[gawke]

Does curse-breaking run a premium or is monster-hunting the more expensive end of your services?

For Trade: Dog Toys, Never Chewed

[headfemaledog]

Provide me a better offering, and I shall refrain from unleashing my displeasure on the nearest human settlement.

Re: For Trade: Dog Toys, Never Chewed

[crystalbetrayed]

How do you feel about rocks with potentially precious minerals inside?

[gawke]

Ooh, I could use some dog toys. How about...

[ Hold up while she goes through her stupid amount of loot. ]

... this lovely antique porcelain doll?

[ Hawke picks up literally everything she finds, so she probably has a whole bag full of things to offer. ]

FOR TRADE: BOOK OF SUGGESTIVE CARICATURES

[gawke]

Accepting equally suggestive literature, thank you very much.

[deprook]

how suggestive we talking here

WANTED: Domestic Workers

[elegant_knives]

Prior experience preferred, though training will be provided.

Pay negotiable. Food and board will be provided for free.

Must be tolerant of non-humans.

FOR SALE: DYAD

[bewithme]

[ No specifications listed. She’s desperate. ]

[followhim]

did you misspell daddy

[in_the_grey]

[? ? ?]

…

[Is it the whole former space fascist thing? Because that's in the past! He's been trying to do and be better!

…

Hasn't he been doing better?]

What did I do?

WANTED: HELP MOVING CARGO

[cerritos]

- NO QUESTIONS
- CREDITS UP FRONT IF THAT'S WHAT DOES IT FOR YOU
- SOMEONE COOL, NO NERDS
- MUST BE ABLE TO LIFT 50 LBS OVER ROUGH TERRAIN

[bonesavant]

I may be able to help. But it depends on your definition of "cool."

[frienfloofer]

Never asked a question in my life. So what are we stealing?