bakerstreet | hold my hand, keep me steady.

"I'm telling you -," but before Thor could try and recover, the gentle demand came out of Steve's mouth. The god's fingers curved to better fit, then he was both bringing Steve toward him and moving his own body forward to close the distance that much faster.

Thor wasn't used to kissing. Sex, sure, but kissing was almost more intimate to him than the carnal act. Sex could happen with a stranger and be over in minutes, but with Steve, kissing seemed to last twice as long and left Thor feeling twice as good. The blond dared not to put a word to how he felt, because Thor wasn't sure it would be adequate, or frame them properly. It was a connection so deep Thor couldn't put a word to it.

But even as their lips touched, Thor deepened the kiss. He poured what he felt into it, fingers sliding to the back of Steve's head. Steve was an oasis in the desert, a drop of rain on a hot day. Thor's other hand came up, pressing lightly to Steve's side as if on reflex. He would let Steve end the kiss, because dammit, it felt like Thor had flown through galaxies just for the chance to kiss the man like that again.

Steve knew exactly when this had started, he had a feeling that he knew why too, but he didn’t make a big deal about it. He hadn’t made a big deal about anything that night because he had never been good at or comfortable with being the center of attention.

Tony has just made some terrible, off color joke as Thor challenged them all to move Mjolnir. One by one they took their turns, some more dramatically than others, until Steve was offered the chance.

The hammer moved easily for him, and Steve had felt the connection to it and the connection to the one that wielded it. He could sense the moment he touched the handle that Thor wouldn’t have been able to accept it if Steve could lift his birthright so, with the smallest of gestures, stabilized his body and stopped the motion nearly before it began.

There’s been another battle after that. Another war to fight. And all the while, Steve’s mind was pulled in different directions.

He’d long since given up the fear that God would cut him down for what this modern world explained as his bisexuality, though he wasn’t one to have time for relationships at all.

Kissing Thor before had been dangerous and exhilarating. He’d tasted like a spark, like a promise and Steve had tipped into it.

Kissing Thor now put the taste of ozone in his mouth. Thor has changed in more ways than just hair and eye color. It was less superficial. Steve could feel the grief and as had always happened when they were together, it amplified his own feelings. They were connected more so now than ever before and Steve’s cheeks ran wet with tears as he was held and kissed.

It had been an easy thing to have missed, and if Thor had been another barrel or so into Tony's whiskey, he might not even have noticed. But when Steve's fingers had touched the handle, Thor was acutely aware of it, like the hero was touching a part of him. But Steve relented and Thor found himself growing more curious about the other.

But Steve had been right, the Thor of that night would have collected his toys and gone back to his world, to be shown up by a mortal. But now wasn't then, and Thor had been through fires that were more a rebirth than simply growing up. Thor, now, craved someone to help shoulder his burden, to help when it seemed like there was no one there to offer aid.

As the tears wet Thor's own cheeks, he let his flow as well, if only from one eye. The kiss deepened, and Thor's grip on Steve tightened. His hand moved to the middle of the man's back, his bicep a hard melon against Steve's side.

Gods, it felt good, to be among his equal and be able to release himself, unwind just enough to get back his barrings. His tongue slipped forward, carrying a soft sound with it, strands Steve's hair finding their way around Thor's fingers.

Thor has been a distraction, but one that could handle what happened as a consequence of being around Steve. He was almost invulnerable, a good quality to have in a person Steve wanted to be close to. People he cared about tended to get hurt, tended to die, tended to leave him.

And actually, Thor had been pretty good at that last part. There was always something more for Thor to do. His home was not Earth.

So that fling had stayed just that in Steve’s mind, especially on lonely nights on the eve of terrible things poised and waiting to happen. Whatever connection they had hadn’t mattered when Thor was gone.

But to have him back, now, and for Thor to dance on the battlefield with him as in sync as ever, Steve hadn’t been entirely prepared to have all of the feelings well back up.

Thor didn’t have to do all of the work. Steve gave back as good as he got until his ears picked up someone approaching. Natasha, by the sound of her footsteps. So Steve pulled back and rubbed at his face to clear his eyes.

“You sticking around?” he asked before the redhead came into sight. Hopeful.

What a terrible place to reconnect. Thor would kick himself to not at least wait until the two were good and fully alone. Time was something that seemed to be fleeting, so the god would have to take away what he could, until they managed to get that time together. His mind was reeling and then Steve was pulling away from him.

For the briefest of moments, Thor's grip increased, as if once he was out of his arms, Steve would be gone forever. But then he relaxed, stepped away himself. A sniff and a swipe at his eye was enough to get him back under control. That was when he heard the approaching steps.

He looked at Steve and gave a small nod, then broke into a grin. "Yes, for a time. We need each other." Duty called and Thor would try to leave his own baggage at the door and help save his second home, if he could. But he knew he really did need Steve, wanted Steve. He felt the desire to be in the hero's orbit, if only for a little while.

Thor gave Steve a wink before turning toward the approaching noise.

It felt right, all of it. As right as it could feel, and Thor would accept that gratefully.

For a time.

For some reason, that weighed on Steve the most as he half listened to Natasha give him the run down about their friends. Some he knew he’d lost, had seen turn to dust. Others were filed away for later.

Steve wasn’t a robot but he also couldn’t process the sheer amount of damage that had been done with tiny motion.

They left the woods. Those that had survived returned to New York, to the compound that held the name of their halved team. The world was in shambles but they needed a game plan. It took time to iron one out and still, in the back of his mind, Steve was dreading the future loss of someone else.

For. A. Time. And then Thor would be gone again too.

Steve had been alone in the conference room for awhile, brooding, waiting for someone to remind him to eat or to breathe, when he saw Thor through the double plated glass out on the grounds of the compound. Steve rose to his feet and slipped out of the building to join the other under the stars.

“I think I’m going to shave,” Stece said, eyes turned upward. “The beard really isn’t me.”

It was the only answer Thor could honestly give. It would be different, if the two weren't so bold, weren't such good teammates, were so good at leadership separately. If they lost in battle, they'd either decide to retire and leave it to someone else, or be dead. Good fighters had no vacations, had no honeymoons or planned trips to an all-inclusive resort.

They fought, and they won, and they lived to fight another day. Or, they fought, lost and knew when to regroup, and brought the fight back twice as fierce when next they did. It was the way of the hero, and while Thor's own bravado had seen itself grow and mature into something more like confidence, he knew they'd be needed, and maybe even needed at two different places. He hated the thought, but knew Steve could handle himself, just as he would. The world's affairs were keeping them apart.

But even as Thor followed Steve back to the compound. Awash with no real home to call his own anymore, Thor was like a ship listless out at sea and Steve was the beacon calling him to shore. Thor found out quickly there were others now who knew strategy, fighting formations, and most of all science. He'd been happy - pleased, really - to be asked about mystical avenues that they could explore. Unfortunately, none bore fruit or hadn't been fully vetted yet, by others in the mystical world. A man named Doctor Strange most definitely embodied both names.

Which left Thor to gaze up at a sky he knew well, but still all alone.

His muscles tensed as he heard a door close, but then relaxed, recognizing Steve's hurried gait. It still felt like a lifetime before the solider was beside him. Even separated by space, Steve's very presence was a comfort. Eyes turned first, then Thor's head followed, taking in Steve's face.

"It does hide a very impressive jaw," Thor admitted, the attention on the stars quickly replaced by the more attractive specimen beside him. "I would offer to do it for you, but Stormbreaker is not a precision tool." His axe seemed to sing to him in his head, Thor happy to have it, and hoping one day to use it justly again.

“I don’t need a shave that close,” Steve echoed in amusement, though the tone didn’t translate to his face. In all honesty, he wanted just about nothing to do with happiness right now. Not when they had more or less confirmation that half of all life on Earth was gone, cities were in ruin because those people that disappeared had been doing dangerous things to leave unsupervised, and there was absolute chaos.

Tony Stark, T”Challa... the people that could find a way to connect the world were gone.

But Steve could not dwell on it if he wanted to stay standing. He was always such a master of accepting what life threw at him and moving on again.

“When are you going to Norway?” He knee Thor had promised to stay ‘for awhile’ but he had people to lead.

"The world has already lost so many treasures, Steve, and you would deny them another?" A puff of air accentuated the jab, Thor's mouth dangerously close to working itself into a grin. When gallows humor was the only humor left, you learned to harness it. "If you must, and Stormbreaker not to your liking, I saw a trim set in the east wing."

How easy it was to talk to Steve. How ridiculously kind and gentle the man was, even when just speaking as friends, teammates, whatever the two of them were. It broke Thor's spirit a bit to see the weight on Steve's shoulders, even though it mirrored his own. He wouldn't wish it on anyone. At the question, though, Thor could only offer up a pregnant sigh and a single-shouldered shrug.

"Valkyrie is handling the resettlement perfectly well. I trust her, and along with Korg for support, I..." And Thor was out of air. Out of words. He scrubbed at his face, then shook his head. "I am not one they wish to see right now, my friend." The exile wasn't a decree from those remaining, but Valkyrie hadn't asked him to return, and had anyone been asking after him, she would have said as much.

"And I am needed here...I thought?" Was Steve sending him away too? "Unless I'm...," the rest of the words fizzled on his tongue in an acid bath and Thor glanced at the ground, a man in front of a firing squad.

Steve was about to make a comment to accept Thor’s offer when he sees the change in Thor’s face. There is no one else around, but even if there was, Steve would have reached out and taken one of Thor’s massive hands in both of his.

This isn’t the way he operates but he’s lost most of his friends today. There’s so much he hadn’t told them and now he couldn’t.

Steve’s eyes were darker than usual, the shine of the building behind them unable to reflect in them.

“You are and have always been needed. I never wanted you to go. I know you have obligations. But I wish I could have been more selfish to keep you here.”

He squeezed Thor’s hand.

“Help me out with this beard. Let’s make sure my jaw is the way you remember it.”

The light might not have caught in Steve's eyes, but Thor was glad that his shadow hid that one lone tear that managed to escape. He watched it fall, eaten by the grass, and then it was like it never existed. He took a breath, surprised at the urgency in Steve's grip. Of course, he might have been imagining it, needing it.

His eyes flicked over to Steve's face - the robotic addition tracking perfectly with his real eye. He needed to reach out to Rocket, to thank him, and to check on him.

"We both know you're more than capable of shaving, Steve." Thor spoke softly, but a warmth entered the words by the end of it. An idea struck the god, and his eyes went wide. "But before, I'd like to savor this moment."

His lips were on Steve's before he could talk himself out of it, the wiry hair, soft at its base, crushed between their chins. A breeze swept through Thor's short hair and all he wanted to do was be with that man.

“Hey, I used to shave off stubble. This is—“ Well there was no need to finish his train of thought. Thor was kissing him again and as usual, it took his breath away.

This was a different sort of kiss than the devastated one they had shared almost a full day ago, but it left him feeling charged - literally - just the same.

Steve wrapped an arm around Thor’s
Wide shoulders and presses his fingers against the back of his neck. Funny. He could almost hear the thunder rolling in.

This type of kiss wasn't frenzied or delirious. They were both there, had won the coin toss on whatever that mad titan had decided was the criteria. They were together and Thor knew they would figure it out. Maybe it wouldn't bring everyone back, but perhaps there would be justice.

When Thor finally moved his head back, their lips made that soft little noise he'd only ever seen on television. The hummingbird in his chest threatened to riot. "If I could march horses made of lightning through the yard, or erect a gazebo of light around us, I would. But it does not work like that."

There was a storm moving in, and the stars were slowly being eaten by clouds. "But the one truth I know is, to shave such a princely beard, you will have to remove your shirt." Thor's eyebrows flicked up, and his fingers slid between Steve's.

"For starters."

“Smart,” Steve replied as he took a step back towards the building that held his apartment. “I don’t want to get little hairs everywhere.”

He had already changed out of his uniform, Nomad hung up and put away, Captain America back again it seemed. Tony wasn’t here to shame him out of it, though the title belonged to the idea, not to the man.

“You should take yours off too. It could just get everywhere. You know how glad I am that you’re here right? Beard expertise, sure, but... Never really settled with me that I couldn’t follow you when you leave.”

A low chuckle was Thor's only response until his right eyebrow poked up. "This will be your first true shave, I take it. The hair? It gets everywhere. Best to save our shirts and pants, but you will still want to shower afterward." The image of the two of them in briefs, Steve on the toilet, Thor with shaving cream on his palm...it was such a welcomed escape.

Blunt nails brushed through the growth along the right side of Steve's jaw. "I will carry you next time, and the worlds will fear us." Thor meant every word he'd just said, because someone had hurt them, had hurt all of them, and that person and those associated, would pay.

The play of lightning across his pupil was involuntary, and when it went away, he was back into the moment, back with Steve.

"But tonight, we ready for battle. Your shorn cheek may be just the weapon we need." He was kidding, of course, but it sounded like something they both needed to hear. "First," Thor said, his arm wrapping around Steve's waist.

"We take the long way," he said, and up they went, diving into the sky like the deep end of a swimming pool. Thor was sure to cradle Steve, to make the trip as comfortable as possible.

"Fill the clouds," Thor urged, punching through one. He had screamed to the heavens and it had done no good, but he had felt better afterward. "Make them fear your wrath." Because perhaps the clouds could carry the warrior's song to whoever needed to hear it, and they would tremble.

Steve was not prepared to be lifted and tensed up immediately. His fingers clutched at Thor’s shoulders until he felt the security of the other’s arms. He wasn’t afraid, he knew that. He’d probably die if he fell from the heights they were going, but Steve also had a tendency to stay resilient. Besides, Thor would never drop him.

His eyes took in the sky and the clouds as they moved through them, took in the acres upon acres of forest that shielded the Avengers compound from Manhattan miles away. He could spot the singular road that led from the highway and then that faded away too.

Steve wasn’t much of a romantic, but Thor still spoke his kind of language. He’d been born a warrior. The fight had filled him even when he was too sick to lift his head. It wasn’t just stubbornness and a sense of justice, it was a need to fight.

And Thor understood that.

It wouldn’t be until they had landed that Steve would really think back on the lightning in Thor’s eye, why he tasted of ozone, or how the weather bender to his whim.

Thor had come into his own.

The invitation for Steve to shout into the heavens might have been lost in translation. How many nights had Thor jetted off the ground just to holler at the sky, punch through clouds, swirl them around him like a cloak and then shove them away in his mind? Too many, but probably just enough.

It helped to have Steve with him because while the god hadn't felt alone since reuniting, he'd felt lonely. But it was a loneliness that didn't come from distance, but from inside himself. Showing Steve the sky like this was also showing the man a part of Thor himself. It was a silent explanation, the most intimate part of himself that wasn't on his body, and something he'd neglected to show the other before.

The trip back down was slower, but the draft still shifted Steve's hair, making Thor smile at him. The two touched down gently outside Steve's private entrance - private, but not secret. Smelling like the breeze and with his cheeks surrounding a good-natured smile, Thor cocked an eyebrow.

"Now, about that beard."

Steve wasn't that much of a shout-your-feelings sort of guy, but he did always admire that about Thor. He was much too busy taking everything in anyway, much too busy holding on and feeling thrill and safety at the same time. Thor would not let him fall.

He might ask how he managed to do that without the hammer, later, but he had a good idea that was part of why Thor's very body seemed filled with the spark of electricity now.

It would be a good story, when they had time to tell it.

As they walked inside, Steve pulled the shirt off from over his head, folding it neatly to place on the table by the front door. "I'm curious if I still look the same under it."

When Steve's back was exposed, Thor almost tripped over his own feet. The muscles rippled under the skin and the god just wanted to get his hands on it. How long had it been? For someone as old as Thor, it felt like a lifetime.

Only through the discipline Thor had learned through his training was he able to resist. The door slid shut behind him and Thor removed his own shirt. Unlike Steve, Thor liked the way the material plopped onto his hardwood floor, a puddle close enough to the door that Thor would remember it when he left.

"Close enough, I'm sure," Thor said, his hand turning, the top of his fingers so close to Steve's skin that the air that shifted with them could probably be felt. But the god didn't make contact, because first he had to make sure Steve wanted him to. Secondly, the exquisite intimacy that the gesture held made Thor need to bite the inside of his cheek for a moment.

Steve wanted help shaving, that was all they were doing.

Looking around the hallway as Thor followed, if the place had been decorated, Tony had done it. Or, more likely, Pepper had done it. It was pretty Spartan anyway and Thor had a passing thought if Steve had ever been in a place long enough to call it his own. "Bathroom?" He asked.

hold my hand, keep me steady.

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