bakerstreet | Just leave it somewhere on me

Lan Zhan...

[Wei Wuxian is impatient, by nature, and Lan Zhan always careful in how he chooses his words, and often as not, miscommunications have plagued them. Now, he feels like he's drinking in each word, like a man weak with thirst.

Lan Zhan's mark matches his? If the other man didn't have his wrist within his grasp, Wei Wuxian worries his legs might give out in shock. He looks Lan Zhan in the eyes, meets them and knows even before that, he's not lying. Lan Zhan couldn't possibly lie.

He tears into the ties at his wrist, loosening his wrist-guard and sliding back the sleeve to reveal a mark that's darkened, nearly to black now, a sign of shared affection. There's a violent swing in emotions; first a pleased, if painful throbbing in his chest, to know, really know that Lan Zhan feels the same way about him is beyond anything he could've hoped.

And then, there's so much else to bring him back to earth. Lan Zhan can't possibly- Wei Wuxian's name is like a black stain on the cultivation world. People already suspect he's returned, and with good reason. It's only a matter of time before mobs are at their doorstep screaming for his blood. The burial mounds are still a fresh and painful memory for him, and he can't condemn Lan Zhan to a life like that.]

Think about this. [There's a faint shake to his head, a redness around his eyes as tears threaten.] Lan Zhan, I can't ask you to forsake your obligations. And- And I can't hide here forever.

I have. For sixteen years. [Wangji has thought about this, about what he would do if faced with Wei Ying in the flesh or with the chance to reach out to his spirit and to receive a reply.

He's mulled it over through a fever, clung to the thoughts as the skin of his back stitched itself together. He promised himself he would not waste the opportunity through three years of seclusion, then through the years afterward as the world continued to turn and he tried to keep breathing while in it.] You do not have to ask.

[If Wei Ying will have him, Wangji is his. His fingers wrap around a bared wrist, thumb traces over the mark that matches his own and warm spreads through his chest.] I am yours, I've already made that choice.

[Wei Ying is right though. He cannot keep Wei Ying hidden here, nor does he want to. Wangji does not want to be his father any more than he wanted to lock Wei Ying away back then, though he'd wanted to keep him safe. He realizes his mistakes now, has had years to contemplate them.] Then don't hide here. Let me come with you. [He wonders if he sounds as desperate as he feels, a man who has had every wish granted and does not wish for it to slip away.]

[Lan Zhan's hand on his wrist felt like the only thing keeping him grounded. The only thing keeping him from falling to pieces. The other man could surely feel Wei Wuxian's pulse beneath his thumb, moving rabbit-fast. Lan Zhan neatly counters every worry, and the weight of what it all means begins to settle.

He wants to shake his head, to insist it's not worth giving up so much, he's not worth giving up so much, but instead he just feels speechless, exposed, and vulnerable as he stands there in front of Lan Wangji. No one has ever put so much on the line for him, and he can't quite make himself believe it, still waiting for the inevitable let-down. It's almost reflex to try to ruin it all himself, to push people away like before.

A nervous laugh bubbles up, joined by a tentative smile, at odds with the tear that slips by and runs down his cheek.]

It's not fair, Lan Zhan.

[Wei Wuxian glances down, the hand that's not already in Lan Zhan's grasp reaching out tentatively, as if afraid to touch, before he starts to draw it back.]

You've had sixteen years to think of what to say. How can you do all that... for me?

[What he wants to do is to wipe away that tear, to cup Wei Ying's cheek and comfort in a way that Wangji has not done in his life.

He has comforted his son, of course, but it is a different thing to comfort ones child. Wei Ying is his equal, his soulmate.] I have.

[He has had sixteen years to think, to rehearse, and yet is has fallen short. Hoped as he had, after all, Wangji had thought the only thing that would come to fruition was answers to chords played on a guqin. He is better with notes played with calloused fingers than words.

His gaze follows Wei Ying's, the hand that reaches forward and draws back. It is easy, instinctual, to reach out and to take Wei Ying's hand as he catches his gaze again.] Because you are my soulmate. Because I want to and would, even if you were not. [Perhaps that is the bigger secret, the ultimate truth.]

[It feels like he's dangling over the edge once again, drawing away, only to have Lan Zhan pull him back, take his hand like it's something precious. There's a faint tremble, as he swallows back any lingering doubts. He's always struggled to let himself be loved, to even let himself be known beneath the smiles and bravado.

Wei Wuxian takes a hesitant step closer; it's uncharted territory, a terrifying unknown and his heart thrums in his chest like a bird in a cage. Where do they go from here? They've shared countless lingering looks, fleeting touches, and countless battle scars, but this is new and fragile and exciting in turns.

Never one to do things by halves, Wei Wuxian does what he's thought about doing every time his eyes wander to Lan Wangji's mouth; actions speak louder than words, after all. He takes that last step, leaning in to press a soft kiss to Lan Zhan's lips.]

[For all that he wants, for all of him that is singing and filled with warmth at the feel of Wei Ying's lips against his own, Wangji does not expect it.

He feels frozen, lost, before he is drawn back to the reality before him. It is a fragile thing, nothing guaranteed.

He pulls back slightly, only to press another gentle kiss to Wei Ying's lips. He has not kissed another before, does not know where this road takes them despite where his fantasies have lead them. Another kiss results in their noses bumping together and Wangji pulls back, flustered, though he cannot bear to put too much distance between them.] Wei Ying.

[When he feels Lan Zhan start to pull back, Wei Wuxian is worried he might have misread the situation. His eyes start to flutter open, only for Lan Zhan to lean in and kiss him in return. It's an amateur attempt, bumped noses and brushed lips, but honest, and Wei Wuxian doesn't let the space linger between them.]

Lan Zhan?

[His gaze flicks between Lan Zhan's dark eyes and his soft lips; the view is so enticing his breath catches for a second.]

Lan Zhan, if you don't touch me, I don't know if I can believe this is real.

[There's a playful smile that returns, in corners of his lips. Tentative hands brush the front of Lan Zhan's robe, the fabric fine beneath his fingers. It's an invitation, an offer; this is new territory for them both, but as ever, Wei Wuxian is excited to explore.]

[Oh.

Oh.

And that is a right that he must wrong. This is real, Wangji is sure of it himself though that realization is slowly coming to fruition.] It is real, Wei Ying.

[The words are soft, steady and determined. They are the truth, spoken into reality for Gusu Lan does not allow their disciples to speak lies into the world. There are ways around that, of course, but in this Wangji finds no falsehoods.

His hands are steady as they cup Wei Ying's neck, one thumb traces the line of his jaw to tilt his face upward so that Wangji can kiss him again. It is slow at first, a gentle press of lips that grows curious and more confident at how right it feels.]

[He knows well how Lan Zhan can react to touch, so he waits, swallowing down his nerves, and oh, is it worth it. Lan Zhan's hands are warm and firm and Wei Wuxian lets him take the lead, tilting his chin as he's guided. Lan Zhan's kisses are so gentle and sweet, but Wei Wuxian's curiosity gets the better of him and he starts to explore, all parted lips and mischievous pink tongue.

His hands, which had rested on the front of Lan Zhan's robes, slide around his sides, encircling his waist as he pulls himself closer, their bodies flush against each other.]

Lan Zhan...

[He's considered Lan Zhan his soulmate for so long now. And perhaps sometimes it felt like there was something missing, something he couldn't quite reach. An emotion he didn't dare touch.

But standing here now, feeling the solid weight of the one in his arms, his heart beats a dizzying flutter beneath his ribs. It shouldn't be possible, he shouldn't even be here, but for this miracle, he won't waste another moment of it.]

Lan Zhan... please... more...

[It is unlike Hanguang-Jun to sit idle, to be passive in a moment of importance. The kiss starts slow, gentle and curious but it is Wei Ying’s curiosity that spurns the man to give into the request before him.

More.

That is a heedy thought, a dizzying one when days before this was the ghost of a dream. ] Wei Ying.

[One hand slips from Wei Ying’s neck to the silky tresses at his nape, tilt his head back as this time the kiss turns deeper and their claims are laid on one another’s mouths. This time there is no fumbling as their mouths move together, as Wangji explores the parts of Wei Ying that feel like coming home.

When he pulls back again, resting his forehead against Wei Ying’s, he’s breathless. ] Anything you want, Wei Ying. Anything.

[Lan Zhan has promised him more in a handful of minutes than he'd expected in an entire lifetime. Asking much more than that felt like tempting fate, no matter how freely offered it was.

His breath comes in soft, uneven pants as he tries to catch it, breathing in the same air as Lan Zhan. There's faint laughter there, a smile in his voice one can hear even without seeing his face. It's easy to let himself get lost in the moment, Wei Wuxian has always lived in the here and now and damn the consequences.]

Just you, Lan Zhan. What else could I want?

[He hadn't expected another chance at life, and until moments before, hadn't honestly wanted it. His had burned out quickly, and he'd lost or pushed away everyone he'd cared about. The spark of hope he'd still carried feels as if it's taken hold and ignited in his chest, warm and bright and full of life.

Wei Wuxian leans in again, pressing playful kisses to the corner of Lan Zhan's mouth, his sharp cheekbone, the corner of his jaw.]

Just you, for as long as you'll have me.

As long as I live. You may grow tired of me, Wei Ying. [He says it softly, jokingly in a way he's not known for but that he's learned through the years since he's been tempered by fatherhood and more of his brother's soft influence.

It is not a tone he uses often, saved for family, but easily shared with Wei Ying. Especially now, when they've shared their marks, the air between them and each other's kisses.

It is easy to claim Wei Ying's lips again, to press his hands to his hips and hold him tight, possessive.] How do you want me? [Because that's important to, for Lan Wangji will give anything to his other half if he is able.]

As if I could.

[His lips curl in a faint smile. Wei Wuxian didn't think it was possible to pick up in the sunnier places they'd left off, walking side by side, his closest companion, a soulmate, he'd been sure, if such things truly existed. Lan Zhan had seen him at his lowest and still... still wanted him here. Even if Lan Zhan was the only one, that was more than enough.

They share another kiss, and it's hard to believe that lips that had always seemed so firm and resolute could feel so soft against his own. His hands, strong and steadfast, hold Wei Wuxian close, and it's impossible to ignore the warmth where their bodies press together.

His breath catches at the offer- so open-ended and brazen, it's hard not to imagine answering by my side or up against the wall and everything in-between, but even Wei Wuxian isn't shameless enough to say so aloud. It's not moving too fast when they've already waited a lifetime, is it?]

There's a lot of time to make up for, Lan Zhan...

[A nervous, shaky breath.]

I want... nothing to be forbidden between us.

You did claim I was boring. [He reminds, teasing softly. He has had years to come to terms with the parts of his personality that are overwhelming yet stiff, to understand and accept that part of himself.

Time has tempered Lan Wangji, given him a sense of self without the angry righteousness. It's relaxed him, made him able to tease in a way he would not have been able to in their youth.]

We have time now, Wei Ying. [Except, as he says it, he is uncertain of that. Wei Ying is back, is whole and in his arms, but the circumstances are unclear. A crease between his brows appears, the corners of his lips tug downward as he leans in to gently kiss his soulmate once more to convince himself that this is real.] Are you sure? [The words feel like a dream but one he's craved, though he did not allow himself to even wholly dream it.

His hands hold on to Wei Ying's hips, keep him flush against him.] I would give you anything.

[His smile falters for a moment, shifting into a pout. Maybe he did say those things a lifetime ago, but first impressions rarely revealed hidden depths. Lan Zhan was far from boring, in fact, shortly after their first meeting, it felt like Wei Wuxian was always doing his utmost just to get a bit of his attention.]

Then why don't you remind me why you're not.

[The smile returns after their kiss, though it's small as he rests his arms around Lan Zhan's shoulders. For as active as Wei Wuxian's imagination is, he knows it's probably not the same for Lan Zhan, raised in a place full of rules and restrictions. The way he'd reacted to just a little bit of erotic art, of course Wei Wuxian would think him reluctant to have a more physical relationship. If Lan Zhan is hesitant, he doesn't want to push, despite his own flirtatious, teasing nature.]

Sure as I've ever been. I just- don't want Lan Zhan to have any regrets either. You can always tell me to piss off, if I get to be too much.

[He grins a little wider, barely holding back a laugh. For as upset as Lan Zhan had been over the artwork, it'd had Wei Wuxian in laughing fits for days after just hearing Lan Zhan yell at him like that.

From then to now, Lan Zhan's body language tells a very different story though, and he can't help noticing how close they are, or the way Lan Zhan holds his hips.

All it takes is a gentle lean to press their foreheads together, the metal that rests on Lan Zhan's headband isn't cold, like he'd thought, but skin-warm instead, and he reaches up to brush Lan Zhan's cheek. Wei Wuxian's voice grows softer, more intimate, breath warm between them.]

But didn't you believe me when I said it before? All I want is Lan Zhan.

Just leave it somewhere on me

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