bakerstreet | Sexy sniffles

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Sexy sniffles

The Sex Pollen Meme

This is a highly sexual and somewhat dangerous meme! Many if not all options are potentially triggering. Please use your best judgment before participating.

1. Comment with your character, putting their name, canon, and any prefs (e.g. women only, not #4, AU, aged up, etc.) in the subject line and/or comment.
2. When other characters tag in, they'll use this handy RNG (1-9) to pick an option from the list below.
3. Have fun, sex peeps up, ???, profit.

Options:

1. The Slutty One: When you're sprayed with this pollen, all you wanna do is bang. All inhibitions go out the window—if you don't get some orgasms pumping out, your whole world is gonna end. Seduction, debasement, that's what this option's all about. Do whatever it takes to get that sweet, sweet satisfaction.

2. The Violent One: This pollen makes you wanna bang, sure, but it also makes you pissed as fuck. Everything's painted in red—the anger's overwhelming. Whoever you see next? That's who's taking the full force of your assault. You don't know if you wanna punch 'em or kiss 'em, but something's gonna happen.

3. The Soulmate One: There's only one person the pollen is driving you to find, driving you to romance, driving you to be with — biblically. And maybe it's not someone you want to be this attracted to, but your mind/body/spirit—everything's saying yes. Even if your sensibility alone says no. Time to hunt out your soulmate and convince them this is destiny.

4. The Touch-based One: This pollen works a tad differently from the others. Instead of dousing an individual and making them need, it waits until they've touched someone. It could be the slightest brush of fingertips, it could be a kiss from an already willing lover. Whatever it is, the pollen's activated, and there's no going back. Every touch feels a little bit better than the last.

5. The Possessive One: This sex pollen is the lovechild of options 2 and 3 — a pollen that makes you crazy about that one particular person. You've gotta have them, protect them, own the moment. There's no one you'd rather be 'sharing' this with, and no one they're allowed to. Jealousy and need taken to the highest level.

6. The Snuggly One: The lightest of all the sex pollens, this variety just asks for some good, snuggly fun. Not necessarily vanilla, but definitely kinder. A hug can be just as good as a handjob if it's from the right person. Kinda.

7. The Hallucinogenic One: Whooooa, man. This is a trip. Nothing's looking quite right, the sky is purple, the ground is pitch black, and the person in front of you looks like your latest wet dream. This pollen clogs the mind and leaves its victim feeling high and confused. What a predicament.

8. The Animalistic One: Speaking of dulled down thought processes—this pollen has removed all of them. Nary a one remains, because now you're pure animal, living in the moment, looking for a mate. Your ability to speak in more than hisses and growls and monosyllabic conversation's been compromised. Let's hope it passes.

9. Wild Card: Mixup, mashup, do whatever you like.

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"Yes, Lan Zhan?" he asks with a grin, practically lounging in his seat across from Lan Wangji. He flings out his hand, accidentally brushing his fingers over Lan Zhan's hand, although he doesn't really notice.

"If you are getting sick, I can shoo everyone away and make sure you are undisturbed for the rest of the afternoon. Though you'd still have to deal with me. I'll stick by your side, nurse you through this terrible illness."

He slowly blinks at the brush of fingers along his hand. Lan Zhan's own fingers twitch at wanting to reach out and hold onto those fingers.

Lan Zhan parts his lips as if to argue that he isn't ill. But that would be a lie. He closes his mouth again and nods, not wanting to spread whatever this could be. He clears his throat instead and concentrates on finishing the report. He wants something to focus on and be able to set away the reports for the next meeting he has. He would not Wei Ying to be infected with whatever this is. He looks up at him.

"Wei Ying. You too. There is some sort of strange scent in the air. It isn't poison." He doesn't think it to be. "But it seems to alter a person's mind somehow."

Not expecting actual, honest agreement, Wei Wuxian blinks at him, frowning. He scrambles upright. "I don't smell anything," he says. "It must just be you."

He returns to the door, ordering the disciples outside to clear Lan Zhan's appointments for the day, carefully closing and locking the doors behind him before he returns Lan Zhan's side. "You never agree with me when I say things like that, something must be wrong."

He presses the back of his hand to Lan Zhan's forehead, careful to not touch the ribbon. "You feel a little warm."

He barely restrains himself from reaching out when Wei Ying leaves to tell the disciples that he needed alone time. He carefully puts his brush away and tucks away his reports when Wei Ying returns to his side. He wants to reach out, touch, gather him up in his arms and just feel the warmth of the man. Then Wei Ying is touching him, pressing the back of his hand to his forehead.

Wei Ying did not touch the ribbon. A small relief passes through Lan Zhan.

"Wei Ying."

He clenches his hands, hidden in the sleeves of his robes. How could he convey what he wants? Wei Ying would laugh him right out of Gusu. He chooses to simply shift closer to Wei Ying.

"Did someone try to poison you?" Since he's never actually seen Lan Zhan sick before and doesn't actually think it's possible for him to do something like catch a cold — no virus would dare tarnish the great Hanguang Jun — poison has to be the only possibility.

"I can go get a healer if you might need one." Though he's reluctant to move too far away. "You don't look terrible, but it could be you hide illness well." It's a good thing Wei Wuxian is tactile enough for both of them, resting his hand on Lan Zhan's shoulder. "Do you need anything?"

He shakes his head at the comment about being poisoned. He is always careful about what he eats and drinks and no one dare try to sneak poisons into Gusu. There was no way that anyone would have seen him sick: he has not ever been sick. A healer wouldn't help him. Not at all. Not with how he was feeling. Wei Ying is correct that he's hiding his illness. He takes a silent, sharp breath in when Wei Ying put his hand on his shoulder.

He nods once and looks at him.

"Wei Ying."

"I'm here Lan Zhan, what's up?" Wei Ying asks, rubbing his shoulder, his comment somewhat distracted. He peers around the room, wondering if there really was something going on that he needed to worry about.

"Wait. I asked if you needed anything." He turns his attention back to Lan Zhan, grinning, although it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Am I what you need?" he teases gently.

His ears immediately turn scarlet. But he couldn't find it in himself to pull away. Lan Zhan looks away, not meeting Wei Ying's eyes. He gives neither confirmation nor denial that Wei Ying was exactly what he needed. He needs to simply feel Wei Ying in his arms, to nuzzle him and hold him, knowing he is alive and here in Gusu with him. But that requires baring his feelings to Wei Ying...and he doesn't know if Wei Ying feels for him.

"If Wei Ying concedes."

"'If Wei Ying concedes,'" he teases, the hand on Lan Zhan's shoulder stilling. "There's no need to be so formal with me, your oldest friend." That was perhaps not technically true, especially if they counted the years between his death and summoning. But he thought of Lan Zhan has his oldest friend, the truest of them all; at least, it was easiest to think of him as a friend, when so much was left unsaid between them.

"You'll always have me if you need me. I'm just not sure what you need?" He frowns at Lan Zhan, letting go of his shoulder and leaning back, tapping his nose again. "I'm not the best healer, you know. But I can maybe figure out some talismans if you think a spell might help?"

His oldest and dearest. He barely keeps himself from following Wei Ying's hand as it retreats from his shoulder. He needs touch. He needs to feel Wei Ying's warmth against him.

Lan Zhan shakes his head at the suggestion of a talisman.

Slowly, he reaches up and toward Wei Ying, wanting to draw him closer. Touch. He needs simple touch. Lan Zhan swallows deeply and retreats his hand. But the yearning and the want within him grows stronger and stronger.

After spending so long watching Lan Zhan, studying him, and learning what his facial expressions meant, Wei Wuxian is almost hyperaware of the other man. Even after all this time apart, he's aware. So he sees the hand reach out, then retreat, and although he doesn't understand what it means, he answers the question asked by that motion.

"If you wanted a hug, you just needed to ask for one, Lan Zhan." Wei Ying settles in his lap, wrapping his arms around Lan Zhan's shoulders in a hug. "There, that better?"

He hasn’t been hugged like this since he was a child. One of his last memories of his last visit with his mother. It adds another layer of want and Lan Zhan immediately rests his arms around Wei Ying’s waist, pulling him even closer and burying his face in the man’s neck, savoring the touch.

"Lan Zhan?" He sounds bewildered. "You really must be sick, if you're hugging me like this."

It's not a complaint; for all that Wei Ying is casual with touch and has no problem clapping someone on the shoulder or elbowing them, he hasn't actually had a hug like this in longer than he cares to remember. He settles in Lan Zhan's lap, running his hand down his back.

A relief passes over him, holding Wei Ying like this. He doesn't say a word and holds him tighter, allowing himself this moment as it eases the want within him. Lan Zhan is glad that the disciples and others have been waved away. He doesn't want to share this moment with anyone else but Wei Ying.

"Does Wei Ying not like this?"

For all that Wei Ying has no problem destroying his own reputation, he is protective of Lan Zhan's; if there is actually something wrong, he wouldn't want word to get out, or any gossip to arise from them cuddling together. So he's glad they're alone, and no one will bother them the rest of the day.

"Of course I like this." If he could spend all day in Lan Zhan's arms, he'd be happy. "Only a fool would complain about getting a hug from the great Hanguang jun. But this isn't normal for you. Unless." He pulls away a little so he can look him in the face, gaze teasing. "Lan Zhan. Did I corrupt you into actually wanting hugs from this humble one?"

He frowns, lips turning down just a little when Wei Ying pulls away a little. Lan Zhan's ears had not calmed from their scarlet state and he pulls Wei Ying back, burying his face in his shoulder again.

"You did not corrupt me," he mumbles into the black fabric.

Whatever had caused his sneeze earlier had corrupted him. He is lucky that all he wishes is just to hold Wei Ying close like this and never let him go again.

When faced with the unexpected, Wei Ying adapts, and adjusts, and learns how to deal. Figuring out how to save his brother? Doing his best to protect the Wens? Coming back from the dead? Easy enough to figure out what needed to be done and then do it.

This is completely different. There has to be a reason why Lan Zhan wants to hug him, but Wei Ying is reluctant to figure out that reason. He's enjoying this far too much, and Lan Zhan seems oddly clingy.

"Your uncle would disagree with you," he says inanely, then laughs. He slides his hands up and down Lan Zhan's back. "It's a good thing I told the disciples to keep everyone away. If he found us like this, he might have a fit. And possibly try to assign me a punishment."

"Mn," is his response to how his uncle would react to this.

He closes his eyes at the feel of Wei Ying's hands moving along his back. He thanks the layers of clothes that would prevent Wei Ying from feeling the scars of the lashes he had received so many years ago. His uncle would not assign punishment to Wei Ying. Possibly to Lan Zhan. But he doesn't care. He tightens his arms around Wei Ying and buries his face deeper into his shoulder.

He's seen those scars and has gleaned an understanding of them from Lan Xichen, but he's not going to ask Lan Zhan. Not unless he gets to see them because Lan Zhan's shown them to him, not because he snuck up on the man bathing.

"Well, maybe he wouldn't try to assign me any punishment, just glare at me until I was forced to let you go," he says, rambling. "I'll admit, those days in the library with you were... boring, but at least I got to spend a lot of time with you. Do you remember the picture I drew of you?" He doesn't remember all of his previous life, but the time in Gusu is one of his treasured memories.

With Lan Zhan practically breathing against his shoulder and neck, Wei Ying shivers, and shifts again, feeling the faintest stirring of something. Something he doesn't want to think about. "Too bad whatever this is didn't strike while you were in the Jingshi. Then we could have laid down, which might be more comfortable. I'll probably put your legs to sleep if I stay in your lap like this."

How could he forget? Miraculously, the drawing had been one of those things that hadn't been burnt up when the Wen family attacked them. It had been hidden in one of the books his brother had snuck out. The drawing now has a new home in one of Lan Zhan's personal books in the Jingshi. One, he hopes, Wei Ying hadn't run across yet. He nods against Wei Ying to answer his question.

He's still not ready to let go of him yet, even as he rambles. He does make a good point. Lan Zhan clamps down an arm around him and reaches for Bichen, picking up the sword as he stands. Yes, in the Jingshi, he would be able to comfortably hold Wei Ying close to him without needing to sit so upright. He takes a few strides toward the doors.

It's easy to forget how strong Lan Zhan is when he's normally so restrained and cautious, his fingers light and tender. The sudden shift as Lan Zhan stands makes Wei Ying gape, and then scramble to cling closer, looping his legs around Lan Zhan's waist.

"I can walk, you know," he grumbles, half-joking. "Where are we going?" It's pretty obvious, even to him, since it was the mention of the Jingshi that motivated Lan Zhan to stand, but he'd still like confirmation. "People will probably see us, if you try to walk out of here carrying me."

At least it's not a bridal carry, which might be even worse.

He pauses and sets Wei Ying on his feet again. Already he feels bereft at not having Wei Ying in his arms. It's almost childish how much he wishes for that touch again. He eventually lets Wei Ying go and stands straight, one hand behind his back, looking very much like the Chief Cultivator, despite his ears burning as red as the ribbon in Wei Ying's hair. Eventually he nods and reaches for the door, sliding it open for them to step outside.

Lan Zhan steps onto the path and starts his way toward the Jingshi, meticulously recalling what he had encountered over the course of the day to have him crave this kind of touch so much. He had always been in control of his emotions, always had a tight control. Almost always. The rare moments when he did not involved...well...He looks back to see if Wei Ying was following along.

It's disappointing when Lan Zhan sets him down, although Wei Ying resolutely pushes that aside, refusing to think about why he was disappointed.

He follows Lan Zhan, staying half a step behind him, just to keep an eye on him. Something was clearly affecting him, and that had Wei Ying somewhat worried. "Looks like the juniors are diligently keeping everyone away," he comments, as they head up the path to the Jingshi.

A blessing. Sizhui had always been so very diligent when given instruction. And he's glad that he wouldn't ask any questions. As they make their way up the path into the Jingshi, he remains silent, nodding only when Wei Ying mentions that the Juniors have done a good job. He pauses, looking at Wei Ying, wondering if it is contagious. He wouldn't wish to put him in danger.

His fingers twitch on Bichen, wanting to just reach out and hold him again. Instead, he presses his lips together and continues up the path until he could walk into the Jingshi.

Luckily, he feels no different than usual, which means he wants to touch Lan Zhan and never let go. Still, when he sees Lan Zhan looking at him, he takes a step forward to stand by his side, bumping his shoulder against Lan Zhan's.

"At least whatever this thing is it's not making you talk," he teases, as they reach Lan Zhan's home, and Wei Ying takes the initiative to open the doors. It's where he spends most of his time, so it's not like he's actually entering without permission.

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