bottom of the river

[commemeorate]

the random scenario meme


comment with your character.
respond to others
lbr — no one uses rng. just go wild, and maybe kinda sorta pick from the scenarios below?
post picture prompts OR write starters OR whatever!
have a grand ol' time

TYPES OF SCENES
① Action → Gun fights, bar brawls, fights to the death are all possible scenarios.
② Angst → Characters suffer emotionally or physically from relationships breaking up, death, injury, etc. Hurt and comfort themes are included.
③ Crack → Genderswaps, super powers, sudden compulsions are all possible outcomes.
④ Fluff → Something that is devoid of angst. It's light-hearted and might have the overtone of romance.
⑤ Gen → General fun, things that didn't fit in the other categories.
⑥ Sex → First times, kinks, even dubcon are all possible themes of sex related scenarios.
⑦ Your choice → Think of your own scenario, choose one of the above or make a combo even!

ACTION.
① Zombies → It's the zombie apocalypse, lock and load!
② Bar brawl → You had one too many drinks, said something wrong, and now you're being asked to take it outside.
③ Chase → You're caught in a high speed chase.
④ Gun fight → You're caught in a big shoot-out.
⑤ Fight with a friend → You're fighting with a friend, all out.
⑥ Interrogation → You're being interrogated for some offense you've done.
⑦ Aliens → Aliens are attacking and you're not going to take your probe laying down!
⑧ Final battle → This is it. The battle that will end all the fighting for you. Will you win? Will you get that peace you want?
⑨ Training → You're not actually fighting, just training for the inevitable.
⑩ No hope → You know this fight has no hope. It's not going to end well for anyone involved, but you can't turn away.
⑪ Sneaking in → You're stealing a diamond or sneaking in to kick some bad guy butt, but whatever it is, you have to practice stealth.
⑫ Blue wire → You're faced with a bomb that needs to be disarmed.
⑬ Fight for honour → You've been disgraced or someone you care about has, so it's time to fight for honour.
⑭ Showdown → Time for a cowboy-style showdown. Whoever draws the fastest wins.
⑮ War → You're caught in the middle of a war here. Remember to keep your chin up and keeping fighting.
⑯ Apocalypse → The apocalypse finally happened and now you're left to scavenge and fight for whatever is left.
⑰ Sabotage → It's time to sabotage someone's plan! How is entirely up to you. Do you set up a bomb in their toilet? Do you double cross them at the last minute?
⑱ Big damn hero → You know you have to handle this one alone, so that means disarming or knocking unconscious the person who wants to join you.
⑲ Fight club → You know the rules... you're in an underground fighting ring and you're fighting with all you've got.
⑳ Threaten → You've just been sent here to rough them up a little, threaten them into behaving.

ANGST.
① Injury / illness → Your character has become injured or ill! To what extent is the mun's choice.
② Last moments → You character has been gravely injured and this is their last chance to say their last words.
③ Depression → Your character is depressed, what actions they take is up to the mun.
④ Betrayed → You character has been betrayed by the other. How do they react?
⑤ Tortured → Your character is being tortured and needs rescuing or at least a sympathetic ear to help him through it.
⑥ Jealousy → Your character is feeling jealous and must deal with it, how will they do it?
⑦ Breakup! → This relationship has gone as far as it can, it's time to breakup.
⑧ Broken → For whatever reason, the character is broken, mentally or or physically.
⑨ Fight → You can't even be in the same room as your friend or lover without arguing anymore.
⑩ Lost → You lost the biggest fight of your life and now all you can do is try to pick up the pieces.
⑪ Worst nightmare → Whatever you fear the most is now real or maybe you're just trapped in a dream together, but whatever it is, it feels too real.
⑫ Addicted → You're addicted to something, alcohol, drugs, sex, whatever. It's destroying your life and you can't do anything to stop it.
⑬ Hurt you → You're being forced to hurt someone you love either by betraying them or even being forced to shout things you don't mean. It's for their own good in the end though.
⑭ Separation → You were forced to leave this person for their own safety and while you've been miserable without them, you really didn't mean to run into them again... maybe it was by accident or you were watching them from afar this whole time.
⑮ Becoming a monster → You are slowly changing, becoming a monster: vampire, zombie, demon, something you can't recover from and no-one can help you.
⑯ Frozen → You are entirely helpless, frozen, to stop some kind of disaster.
⑰ Prison → You were very bad and now it's time to pay the price by turning yourself in or maybe the law just finally caught up to you.
⑱ Fear → You're not sure why, but you are suddenly terrified and you can't deal with it. You need help.
⑲ Hated → You are now hated by the person you loved the most.
⑳ Down and out → You're living on the streets, you've hit rock bottom, and you don't know what to do.

CRACK.
① Sexswap → Uh-oh, you're suddenly the opposite sex!
② Forced confessions → No matter what it is and no matter how hard you resist, you're going to be compelled to spill some deep dark secret!
③ Mind-reading → You've suddenly got the ability to read minds!
④ Animal → You're suddenly part animal or transformed into an animal!
⑤ Awkward pick-up lines → You're compelled to use bad pickup lines on whoever is closest!
⑥ Back in School / Graduated → You're suddenly back in school! Or if you were already in it, you've aged and long since graduated!
⑦ Vampires, werewolves, and zombies, oh my! → You're suddenly a vampire, werewolf, or zombie! Maybe even a demon or a devil, whatever creepy crawly you can think of. What do you do now?
⑧ Ghost → You're suddenly a ghost or at least invisible. What are you going to do with this new ability?
⑨ Awkward conversations → So did you just fart or what? Any conversation goes, as long as it's embarrassing and awkward.
⑩ Crossdressing → For whatever reason, you're suddenly dressed in clothes of the opposite sex.
⑪ Suddenly naked → Oops! Your clothes are suddenly gone.
⑫ Suddenly a kid → You're a kid again! Have fun with that second childhood.
⑬ Fortune cookie → You've suddenly received a note with something that will happen in the future, either precise or vague.
⑭ Super power → And suddenly you're like Superman! Any power goes.
⑮ Bodyswap → Somehow you've changed bodies with the other person.
⑯ Back in time → Somehow, you wound up in the past again. Do you try to correct something or just sit and wait for time to jump? Maybe it jumps to various points in your life or maybe you actually think you're back in the day. Have fun, run wild with the idea!
⑰ To the future → Is it everything you've dreamed? Is it horrible? Whatever happens, you're here to witness what happens to you in the future. Either you take the place of your future self or you're just there to watch. Might cause some confusion if people start seeing double though...
⑱ Angels, mermaids, and fairies! → You're not necessary something dark or evil. You're just something different. How do you deal?
⑲ Locked in a closet → For some reason, you're locked up in a closet with someone else. Do you make nice and try to figure your way out or what?
⑳ Finger trap → You're caught in a Chinese finger trap... with somebody else! You can't figure out how to get loose either... have fun with that.

FLUFF.
① Cuddling → For whatever reason, characters feel like being close and cuddling.
② Pillow talk → After the main event, characters are up for some pillow talk.
③ Celebration → Anniversary or some other big event is taking place and characters want to celebrate!
④ Love confession → Someone has finally decided to confess their love and today is the day!
⑤ Appreciation → You feel the need to show appreciation for that person closest to you, even if it's just a pat on the back.
⑥ Apologies → You made a mistake and now it's time to make it up in some way you know the other can't refuse!
⑦ Get back together → Why did you break up again exactly? Whatever the reason, it was a huge mistake and you both know you can work through it.
⑧ Date night → You've planned for a wonderful night together and you can't wait to get it started.
⑨ Family → You've either found out you're pregnant or you've already got that addition to your family.
⑩ Marriage → You're just about to get hitched or maybe you're enjoying your honeymoon. Maybe you've been together for years now! Whatever the case, it's time for that next big step.
⑪ Meeting again → It's time for that happy reunion finally!
⑫ Love at first sight → For whatever reason, you are now insanely in love with the first person you set eyes on.
⑬ Flirtation → You can't resist to do a little bit of harmless flirtation all of a sudden.
⑭ In the snow → Look outside! It's a winter wonderland, so why not go out and play in it?
⑮ Engagement → You've planned it all out and now it's time to finally pop the question.
⑯ Friendly games → You've set up the game station or board games for a friendly competition!
⑰ Gift → Time to give that special someone a gift just because.
⑱ Recovery → You're taking care of someone who's just recovered from some illness or injury.
⑲ Healing → Time to help mend that someone who's been through hell and back.
⑳ Better than ever → You've finally got everything you've ever wanted here. What is your ideal life and who does it include?

GEN.
① Nice meeting you → It's your first time meeting this person! You bumped into each other on the street, in a bar, at work... whatever!
② Drinks → You're out for drinks! Or just chilling at home with some beers. Wherever!
③ Lost → You're lost and you kind of need help finding your way to where you're going. A little help with directions?
④ Costume party → You're at a costume party, both of you are wearing masks. Do you keep the anonymity or take it off and see whose company you've been enjoying?
⑤ Wrong number → Oops, actually you didn't mean to call that person...
⑥ Drunk → You're already drunk! Drunk dialing, stumbling into someone, showing up unexpected... what type of drunk are you anyway? Aggressive, loving, happy? How does the other react?
⑦ Old friends → you haven't seen this person in a long time!
⑧ Rivals → you're suddenly rivals! Or maybe you have been all along...
⑨ Problems → you've got a problem with each other, just got in a huge fight, whatever. Try to work it out!
⑩ What are your intentions... → This person? They're dating a close friend, family member, etc. You need to find out if they're going to hurt them! Or you need to discuss your friend/family's dating choice.
⑪ I saw you → you saw the other person doing something bad and you need to confront them about it.
⑫ Sorry but no → the other person has feelings that you just don't share. They don't necessarily have to be romantic... maybe you just don't agree with their sudden desire to quit their job and start a business making tiny, fuzzy teddy bears.
⑬ My hero → you need to tell this person how much they mean to you. They've been your best friend or your role model your whole life and they need to know.
⑭ Enabler → you're enabling the other (or each other) to do something bad, really bad. Addiction, stealing, killing, or just any other self-destructive behavior.
⑮ Cooking → Time for an impromptu cooking lesson!
⑯ Oh, sure, I remember you... → It's that awkward moment when someone comes up and seems to know you, but you have no idea who they even are!
⑰ Rescue! → One of you was in trouble, but you came to the rescue!
⑱ Boss → One of you works under the other. Is your relationship good? Are you scheming things? Or do you hate each other?
⑲ Perfect crime → You and the other person have just pulled off the perfect crime... or you're planning to! What are you doing? The heist of the century, an assassination?
⑳ Movies → movie night! Maybe it's a sleepover. Whichever the case, it's time to eat a lot and have fun.

SEX.
① First time → it's your first time together or your first time ever! Enjoy the awkward times!
② Bondage → You and your partner decide to experiment a little with ropes or handcuffs or whatever you'd like to tie your partner up with.
③ Rough / Aggressive → Your characters want it rough.
④ Romantic → Slow and gentle, meaningful, that's how characters want it.
⑤ Dubcon → Character A wants Character B and it doesn't really matter if Character B wants it as bad or not.
⑥ In public → Characters feel like taking a risk and doing it in a public place.
⑦ Roleplay → Naughty nurse fetish? Pirate kink? You and your partner decide to try it out now!
⑧ Healing → You've both fought hard or gone through a rough time and it's time to get some R&R in.
⑨ Last time → This is the last time you're going to this because you're breaking up or maybe your lover is running off to sacrifice their lives in some heroic way. The possibilities are endless, but you better make this one count.
⑩ No strings attached → You're just friends with benefits. Nothing wrong with that, right?
⑪ Anonymous → You met in a restroom or bar, any location of your choosing, but you don't even know each other's names.
⑫ Toys → You're eager to try something new, so why not toys?
⑬ Aphrodisiacs → You've been slipped a strong aphrodisiac somehow and now you absolutely cannot control yourself.
⑭ Show → You're putting on a show by either doing it right in the club or filming it for a bunch of people.
⑮ Ménage à trois → It's time for that threesome you've always dreamed of.
⑯ Non-penetrative → Frottage, handjobs, whatever you want to try out.
⑰ Controlled → You are under mind control and must do whatever your lover asks of you.
⑱ Hatesex → It's not just rough or aggressive, you absolutely cannot stand each other.
⑲ Extreme → Fisting, knifeplay, whatever you can think of so long as it tests the boundaries.
⑳ Fantasy → This is just a fantasy, a dream, and you know it, but what is your ideal fantasy and how willing is your partner?

Comments

5-17 it is!

[subversive]

[ there is something about being close to water that sets her on edge, makes her heart-rate pick up just a bit faster ( ridiculous. it’s not as if there is any real danger just standing on the pier that cuts into the fishing pond, even as close to drop-off as she is. the heels of her boots are inches away from where the final panel of wood tips off into water, but she would never do something as foolish as take another step backwards. she would like to think herself more aware than that ) and there would be some indication of trepidation on her face, something nervous around her eyes, if not for the fact that irritation is at the forefront of her mind with caspar and linhardt being its targets. linhardt can usually be found here when avoiding training sessions, either fishing or dipping his toes into the water when he’s meant to be holding a tome, and caspar is the opposite. when together they make something of a volatile combination, and in linhardt’s words he was here minding his own business before caspar accosted him and attempted to drag him by the collar of his uniform to the training hall. using the skill he insists he doesn’t have, he seared a magical burn onto caspar’s arm, who had yelled pulling her attention to the both of them and herself into their squabble.

linhardt says that caspar despite being his close companion harassed him to the point where his burst of magic was in self-defense, caspar himself doesn’t seem to be daunted by the injury in the least though he insists that linhardt now has to come knock weapons with him as punishment for lashing out. as the moments pass and the two grow louder, starting to tug at one another, she has to restrain herself from immobilizing the two of them with her superior strength. she had told the professor at the beginning of the year that her group… they were a bit hard to handle with a laugh that had been slightly strained coming up out of her throat, but she hadn’t anticipated that they would be this difficult. that she would be needed to this extent to solve minor disputes.

back in enbarr, she was largely avoided, others finding her unpleasant and unnerving both. and it had been strange, at first, to have a group of her peers address her informally and clamor for her attention. she had been initially thankful for it, that they had not chosen to treat her any differently because of her title but this— she had never agreed to being not only house leader, but arbitrator and it seems disgruntled mother figure.

the furrow in her brow deepens as she looks at them, trying to figure out some sort of compromise before they draw the negative attention of other students or even seteth but then—

they cease to be satisfied with tugging. caspar pushes linhardt who stumbles into her, and unprepared for the impact she loses that last bit of pier and falls backward. the next thing she registers is being surrounded by water. it’s cold, is her first nonsensical thought as she doesn’t emerge and only sinks down further as if she were made of stone. it’s cold and only bernadetta knows that she isn’t able to swim, and even more than that is afraid of being submerged and drowning. she realizes that’s what’s happening as she opens her mouth and inhales a burst of water into her lungs.

it can’t have been long at all, perhaps both members of her house have frozen out of shock or worse used her disappearance into the water to escape back to the classroom and what would have been irritation turned anger, but there are already spots of black in her vision. ]

[saviourking]

[ Despite its esteemed reputation, Garreg Mach isn’t immune to the natural consequences which come from housing a wide variety of people— all with their own backgrounds, values, personalities. Even after just a few months, Dimitri has come to realize that small scuffles amongst the students are nothing unusual. Where once the conversation on the dock may have been cause for concern, he is now content to merely keep an eye on it as he makes his way past the pond and towards the dining hall. Surely, out of everyone, Edelgard is the best equipped to handle such a scene. And he doubts she would look kindly on any attempt to assist.

Those thoughts are shortlived, as the splash of water and subsequent silence drags his attention back to where only two students remain, their childish antics replaced with shock. He waits a breath. Then two. A few seconds is all it takes to realize that something is wrong. It should take little effort for Edelgard to pull herself up, no doubt furious and waterlogged, unless there is a reason she cannot.

When that time passes, he rushes forward, passes Lindhardt and Caspar without a word, and dives. The chill of the water is bracing and his full uniform is hardly intended for easy swimming, but he continues forward without hesitation. If something, anything, happened because he reacted too slowly... It would be unbearable.

Thankfully, the water itself is clear. It only takes a moment to spot the reflection of sunlight against her bright hair. The strange white locks have been the source of confusion since they met once more, but for the first time, he finds himself grateful for the change. Another push downwards, and he reaches out towards her. Placing an arm beneath her own in order to support her body is probably not the best form for a rescue but his own instruction had failed to mention this type of scenario. For now, it is the best he can do. The only thing that matters is getting them both back up to the surface.

Once their heads break the waterline, the words rush out. ]

El—Edelgard. Are you all right?

[ The nickname is a panicked slip, one he’s barely aware of, and he very much doubts she is in any state to take note of it. Goddess, he’s not even certain she’s conscious. ]

[subversive]

[ the spots in her vision accumulate together, form a black mass that threatens to overtake the wavering sliver of sun that she can make out through the water. at first she thinks that he’s another sign that she’s losing consciousness, a dark shadow that doesn’t encroach on her vision but moves towards her— and she makes out a streak of a darker, royal blue, before her eyes close. there’s a voice that’s familiar ( el? who would...? ) and when she opens her eyes her lashes are heavy with water. she turns her head to stare at him, the ribbons in her hair drooping and her bangs plastered against her forehead, and when she attempts to speak, she is thwarted by a series of coughs that wrack through her frame. each stronger than the last as her lungs attempt to rid themselves of the water she inhaled like it was air. in any other situation she would push herself away, insist that his help is nothing more than a thinly veiled insult and a suggestion that she is weak in his estimation, but she can’t now because she needs him.

she finds herself gripping the sodden fabric at the front of his uniform, curls her fingers into it in a white-knuckled grip that speaks to a kind of desperation—and she hates how she must look. pale and clearly afraid as she hasn’t been since she was a child. ]

I’m— [ another cough. a shiver. ] fine.

[ a... dubious statement. but to her, it’s more true than not. she isn’t injured. she’s breathing, though in shaky rattling breaths. the longer they stay in the water, the closer she wavers towards the decidedly not fine end of the spectrum. even with her head now above water, and clutching onto dimitri, she can’t shake the feeling of being pressed down by a wall of it. the sensation of sinking, and grasping onto consciousness with slipping fingers. she tries to make her voice stronger, more even. ]

I would rather you use the energy wasted on concern to bring us back to the edge.

[ he can probably tell now, why she didn’t resurface when she had first fell. instead of assisting him in treading water and holding them up, she’s essentially dead-weight. another hindrance in addition to his full uniform. ]

[saviourking]

[ Considering the labored breaths he had held her through and the limpness which remains unnervingly present, it is difficult to accept her claim as anything more than bravado. Still, even if the middle of the pond was the right place for any conversation—let alone this one—her manner would stop him short. She just seems so... vulnerable. More fragile in some ways than even the child he remembers and a sharp contrast to the distant girl of the last few months. Truthfully, he is unsure what to make of it.

So he holds in his concern, for the moment, and bites back any response about being fully capable of worrying and moving at the same time. ]

Of course. Just... hold on.

[ If she was behaving normally, or if it was anyone else in this position, he would be hard-pressed not to ask them to kick and alleviate some of the weight on their way back to the edge. Instead, he merely tightens his grip and keeps them staggering forward. The short distance is surprisingly significant when his strength is forced to war against both the water surrounding them and Edelgard herself.

It takes longer than it should, but eventually, they’re close enough that he reaches out his other hand and grasps one of the wooden poles which support the dock. The conspicuously empty dock. Perhaps Caspar and Lindhardt retreated to seek assistance? At least, that is what he would like to believe... ]

Here we are. Let me help you up.

[ He doesn’t want to leave her in the water for any longer than necessary and, with the absence of anyone else, bracing her this way seems more practical than attempting to climb up together. ]

[subversive]

[ there are two things she’s come to hate over the years; not being in control, and being rendered helpless. in this situation, both are exponentially worse, because her control of the situation ( her distinct lack of it ) is painfully evident in tremors she can’t quite suppress and more than being helpless she is a burden. even in her state she can recognize that well enough, his progress made slower by her weight as she all but clings to him. there is no other way to describe the way that she has curled her fingers into his uniform— and it comes to her that this must be something of a shock. the way she is acting far removed from her usual demeanor. the clipped tone of her voice that often comes out sharper than she herself means it to, and aloof way which she holds herself. the entirety of herself designed not to allow anyone too close.

but, there is no sense worrying about that at the moment. and truly, it doesn’t matter what he may or may not think of her when at base he is merely an obstacle which she must overcome. from her distance she has assessed him objectively and found him to be a unique amalgamation of naïve, idealistic, and guileless which leaves him painfully open. she would also say that he has appeared… kind which is evident in the way he prioritizes getting her on the dock before himself.

she releases her grip on him to grasp the edge of the pier with both hands, fingers gathering purchase on the surface roughed by both time and wear, and determined not to make a further show of weakness she heaves herself upwards ending up with her knees planted on the wooden surface. it takes a moment to rearrange herself so that she is facing him with her legs tucked underneath her. ]

Dimitri.

[ there isn’t a thank you, not quite yet. but his name is punctuated with an offering of a hand, the white glove she’s wearing sticking to her skin and made nearly translucent with water. she knows he can manage perfectly well on his own, but it’ll be easier with assistance. ]

[saviourking]

[ He is unsure what reaction, if any, to expect from her. It would be easy to blame his uncertainty on the peculiarity of the situation, but the truth of the matter is that the Edelgard in front of him is more a stranger than not. She is no closer to the girl of his memories than he remains that boy. And due to this, he can claim no deeper knowledge of her mind or predict where it will lead.

Gratitude, dismissal, anger... Each seems as likely as the rest. Of the three, an outstretched hand skews closest to the first and it comes as a surprise. A welcome one. He accepts it cautiously, certain that the chill gauntlet must be uncomfortable enough without adding any unnecessary pressure, and allows his other hand to take most of the weight. One quick drag upwards and they’re both left kneeling on the dock, breathing heavily but safe]

Ah, thank you.

[ Were he still a child, it would be near impossible to resist the temptation to remain on the docks, giving into exhaustion and allowing the midday sun to work its magic on their sodden uniforms. Alas, such a choice would be neither appropriate nor productive. He settles instead for running a hand through his hair, brushing aside waterlogged bangs, and spares just a moment to appreciate the seasonably warm weather. For once it is a comfort instead of a hindrance. ]

Would you like to head to the infirmary?

[ There is a hesitance around the question, quite unlike his earlier panic and the careful control which had taken over after her chastisement. With the immediate danger passed... Well, any confidence he may have had has gone with it. Not to mention, he would rather his concern not be misconstrued as patronization. Again. ]

[subversive]

[ it is uncomfortable, the metal of his gauntlet chilled and unpleasant, but it doesn’t show in her expression— and it doesn’t escape her that he’s dispersed most of his weight to his other hand. which is courteous surely, but her mind skews it towards a more negative interpretation, that he doesn’t trust that she would be able to hold it and send him unfortunately tumbling back into the water. with fear leeching out of her like the cold stubbornly refuses to ( how deeply has it embedded itself that even the sun seems to have no real effect? ) the previous irritation resurfaces though most of it is directed at herself. for not anticipating or preparing to be thrown off balance, for her sudden paralysis that left her unable to do anything but sink, and his thank you is just a prick of a needle into her pride which has already been bruised.

she hardly helped him, and as she looks at him her expression begins to draw closed, her eyebrows furrowing until the question. leveled at her with a hesitance as if he’s awaiting something pointed as a response, and while that is her natural instinct, she restrains the commentary before it leaves her mouth. forcibly smooths her expression into something that does not read as caustic. ]

I imagine that you’ll be accompanying me? [ it’ll be something of a sight for the rest of the monastery, not one but two future leaders of the continent trudging across the grounds soaked to the bone and dripping. ] I can only assume that you’d like to see your rescue effort to a satisfying conclusion. That would be the chivalric course of action, would it not?

[ as expected from the heir to faerghus, a nation which values such things. the words themselves aren’t that friendly, but, they aren’t laden with sarcasm as they could be— or would be under a different set of circumstances. they are lighter, closer to banter than derision. ]

[saviourking]

[ His own response is equally mild, almost dry. ]

I suppose it would be.

[ The fact that he gets any agreement, let alone one which leans towards neutral if not kind, is more than enough to satisfy. There’s no shortage of students at the monastery who suffer through all manner of accidents and leave them completely unchecked. Himself included, at times. Hypocritical as it may be, he is glad to know she’s willing to more reasonable. Seeing her in such a way... It makes it difficult to fully relax, to let go of the fear which has gripped him so firmly since this began. Even now, with few reasons to suspect any real danger and with Edelgard firmly in possession of herself once again, those feelings are slow to fade.

If nothing else, anxiety makes for an excellent motivator. He forces himself up, a slight wince crossing his features at the sensation of heavy, wet fabric falling into place. Their uniforms were surely never intended for this purpose. ]

Although I don’t know if chivalry has anything to do with it, you’re right. I had planned on traveling there together.

[ Her mockery aside, the decision is not one motivated by courtesy. On the contrary, its roots lie almost purely in selfishness. His own desires to make certain she’s unharmed and assuage those lingering worries. Foolish, really. He doubts she would consider it an improvement.

It's his turn to extend a hand, in case she desires any additional leverage. A refined gesture accidentally at odds with his previous dismissal. ]

[subversive]

[ staring at the gauntlet held out to her, she can’t help but raise her eyebrows using her expression to comment instead of doing so vocally. she takes the help that is offered because not doing so would venture into the realm of petulant, and more because she is unsure yet if she will be able to balance herself unassisted. she has regained control of her emotions, her outward demeanor, but her body has yet to follow suit. her grasp is tight, as attempting to stand with mostly her own strength is unfortunately out of the question. on righting herself the worst doesn’t happen, her legs don’t give out underneath her, but they do waver for an ominous moment before she’s fully steady. she releases his hand in favor of attempting to pull the red fabric of her cape away from where it’s sticking to the back of her uniform, though its hardly any use. she’ll have to deal with it, along with her tights clinging to her skin, and the rest of her uniform plastered to her body. ]

With chivalry removed, should I infer camaraderie as a motivation? [ it feels strange to say, given they haven’t shared a single decent conversation since arriving, and their small pool of interactions have had an... unpleasant note to them which she can acknowledge as of her own making. though she calls him by his first name, she doesn’t think of him as an individual onto himself, but rather as the future voice of the holy kingdom of faerghus and in the grand scheme of things likely to ally himself and his army with the church. ] It seems your sense of it is greater than that of my own classmates.

[ who have pulled what can only be considered a drown-and-run.

a beat of silence. ]

Still, I didn’t think us close enough that you would take it upon yourself to give me a nickname.

[ especially that specific one. ]

[saviourking]

[ Any lackluster defense he may have tried to muster for her wayward housemates dies a swift, merciless death in the face of her final comment. He had believed, falsely it seems, that his thoughtless lapse had gone unnoticed. Had been happier to consider it lost amongst the rest of the panic. To have it thrown back now...

There is no hiding the surprise which flickers across his face. Even his body language, open just a moment ago to provide support if she were to lose her battle against gravity, seems to tense. Straightening up and imposing a hint of distance between them. ]

I—That is— [ A breath, long enough to regain the barest drop of composure. ] My apologies. I did not intend to be so... overly familiar. The situation caught me off guard and I... It just came out.

[ As explanations go, it is a poor one. The steadiness returning to his voice can only do so much against the vague and incomplete answer. Even a natural liar would struggle to find a misdirection large enough to justify the breach in etiquette. Let alone explain why a nickname for a girl who is barely an acquaintance is so readily on his mind. And Dimitri’s own skills in deception have never lent themselves to thinking up a story on the spot. Yet the alternative, telling the truth, seems infinitely more difficult. The hurt he may have felt at her initial lack of recognition has long since been replaced with an emotion closer to relief. There is no returning to the past — they’re both different people now.

What is there to gain from pretending otherwise? ]

[subversive]

[ it is said that a liar can recognize a liar, but in this case even the purest incarnation of an honest man would question the way dimitri seems to bodily shirk from the statement before stumbling into an explanation that is paper thin. there is obviously something behind it, and if she were sticking to her sentiments when she first arrived at the academy she wouldn’t press for information. on the first step down from her carriage to the monastery grounds she had resolved not to know claude or dimitri on any sort of personal level. what had mattered to her, what still matters is gauging how adept they are as leaders, not attempting to discern their likes or dislikes. their preferences will not matter when they fall at her hand or at her orders.

if she were in the habit of questioning herself, she would ask why it is so essential that she distance herself— maybe because engaging in the opposite would humanize her future enemies into more than pieces to be knocked over on a board, and a lifetime ago when her hair wasn’t the bone white it is now she would have cared. maybe at some level she still does, but to dig deeper into that would unearth the girl she had buried a long time ago.

who needs to stay that way so she can move forward.

prodding into dimitri’s lie would mean indulging in a personal curiosity, cross the line of demarcation—

but.

it has been such a long time since anyone has called her that.

the pool of water accumulating at her feet, as well as the ribbons that droop tangled in the wet strands of her hair do nothing to add to the effect of her staring him down. ]

Strange, isn’t it? That on instinct you would call me by a nickname that only— [ a break in her tone. that only came from the mouths of her family, when they were alive. who knows what information has passed between country borders about the hresvelg children, if any at all. it is widely believed in the imperial capital that a strange illness took all her siblings and inexplicably left her behind. ] that I have not heard in years and only from those closest to me.

[ the end of the sentence is softer, somber almost. ]

[saviourking]

[ Dimitri is under no illusions about the quality of his deception. Any chance of it succeeding, however slight, relies entirely on the strength of Edelgard’s disregard. The insignificance with which she seems to look at and through the rest of Garreg Mach’s population — none more so than her fellow house leaders. As someone drawn here for his own goals, ones which require a certain level of distance, part of him understands. Is it hypocritical to feel slighted by her behaviour or dwell on the inexplicability of her changes? If so, the knowledge does little to make it any easier to bear.

Now, it’s that same indifference he is left to rely on.

When it proves a thin defence, easily broken beneath her sudden inclination to push and whatever emotion lingers in those last words, he surrenders. His posture shifts once more, closer to resignation than acceptance. ]

Do you truly wish to know? If so...

[ His gaze shifts around before it lowers to meet her stare. If this conversation must occur, then he cannot help but desire a better venue. One less open and without the handful of students milling about, their attention subtle but all too present. ]

Then we should speak on our way to the infirmary. Or after, if you’d prefer.

[ The latter would provide the opportunity to pass by their quarters, change uniforms, exchange physical discomfort for a different kind, but he leaves the decision in her hands. Privacy is a more salient concern. ]

[subversive]

[ a kinder person would take in the changed lines in his body that speak to a manner of resignation, and ease off the line of questioning, and depending on just how accommodating, the entirety of topic. as it is, she doesn’t consider herself to be particularly kind ( in the eyes of others she is cold, calculating in an unnerving way ) though there are some instances where the urge to be has appeared and taken her off guard— most often in cases where the other party seems weaker. like bernadetta who is reticent in practice and manner both, and in her presence, she tries to... awkwardly blunt the edges she possesses that seem to make the other girl cower in anticipation of being cut. for dimitri, there isn’t anything of the sort ( she considers him naïve to a detriment, but not weak ) just a mild impatience as his sentence dwindles off. she wouldn’t have pressed if she didn’t wish for an answer, and if anything, his hesitance makes the curiosity she feels that much stronger.

apparently, given by the movement of his gaze, whatever he intends to share isn’t meant for the ears of others and in a way it’s amusing, the two of them sharing secrets. or rather, dimitri sharing one of his own, she doesn’t anticipate reciprocating.

the melancholy she had allowed into her voice was a lapse in control, and any trace of it is gone when she speaks again. ]

If you’re concerned about being overheard, then it’s best we discuss the matter while walking. Anyone overly interested in our conversation will be forced to follow behind, and become obvious in doing so.

[ a tidbit of wisdom from all the Scheming she has participated in. it is better to exchange sensitive information in a large, crowded space filled with noise rather than a small one absent of it. and in that same vein it is better to carry an important conversation in an open space rather than an enclosed one.

standing has proved to be something manageable, but walking is another matter altogether, and a part of her is wary that on attempting to move there’ll be a swim in her vision, but that isn’t a concern that needs to be shared. she pushes the clinging strands of white hair, that match her still drained pallor, off of her neck and turns. successfully takes steps towards the dining hall before angling her head back towards him. ] I will decide whether or not to accept your apology for being overly familiar once I hear the reasoning behind it.

[ hopefully, that’s enough of a prompt to get him started. ]

[saviourking]

[ There’s no verbal response to her original instructions, only a nod which borders on the unsure. It isn’t that he’s skeptical of her... advice, as it were. Merely curious about what circumstances have led her to sound so certain. Then again, it could just as easily be her natural confidence instead of the voice of experience. Either way, it seems reasonable enough and he has no cause to disagree, even if his own preference would lean towards more direct privacy.

As they start towards the stairs, he remains near her side. A few degrees closer than he would have on any other occasion while still maintaining an appropriate distance — lest they provide more fodder for rumors than their abrupt swim and current appearance already presents. It enables him to remain on guard, should the lingering shakiness of her limbs worsen, and makes it easier to lower his voice in the nearest approximation he has to covert. ]

As you wish.

[ The words are reminiscent to a sigh in the form of a sentence. Exhaustion with the events of the last several minutes, and with Edelgard herself, rendering them flat and free from his usual princely artifice. It’s not rude, precisely, but it toes the line more than he would usually accept. ]

The simplest explanation is that I called you that because it’s how I think of you. Or rather, because it’s what I used to call you many years ago.

[ A brief pause. Now that he’s begun to reveal the truth, however slight, it’s a challenge to continue holding back. The urge to share everything, to express how deeply those days meant to him, and hope that they spark some recognition in turn... A futile, absurd desire. One that would serve them no good even if it were to implausibly occur. ]

I know you don’t remember. That became clear to me when we met again here, at the Officer’s Academy. [ After the unfair assumption that her aloofness, for lack of a better term, was an intentional slight gave way to the realization she treated him much the same as everyone else. A bittersweet discovery. ] But there was a time, back in Fhirdiad, when I considered us close friends.

[ Despite his best intentions to remain impersonal and provide the facts alone, his tone betrays him, softening weariness into fond remembrance. It’s moments like these he craves greater control. The ability to keep his genuine emotions buried, instead of bleeding through to the surface in the manner of a carelessly treated wound. ]

We were only children, and things have changed immeasurably since then, but old habits tend to linger. When I believed you to be in danger... It rose to the surface, unexpected. That’s the full truth. And the best excuse I have to offer.

[ Should it come as a relief to finally release the secret he's held to his chest all these months, kept away from even his dearest friends? If so, the emptiness that follows is a bit of a disappointment. Still, all he can do now is wait and brace for any disbelief or questions she may carry. ]

[subversive]

[ she doesn’t mind it, the initial frankness in his tone that in her mind is preferable to any airs he may put on to disguise it. to be insulted by it would be at some level hypocritical given the way she speaks herself— blunt and unflowered. she keeps her gaze trained steadily ahead as he starts his explanation in earnest, the inattention not intended to be rude, but with the thought that whatever he means to say might be easier to impart absent the weight of her stare. instead, she focuses on the path forward ( as always ), taking one step in front of the next her expression near blank until he finishes and on the tail of his last word she stops walking completely despite her earlier judgement that they should discuss this while making their way to the infirmary.

when she does finally turn to look at him, the composure that she usually wears is for the second time broken, this time not with fear but with surprise that leaves her expression unguarded and open as her eyes scan over his face trying to place him within the memories that she has from that time. they exist in pieces, held together only by a longstanding affection for someone who she couldn’t— who she hadn’t been able to put a name or a face to.

she had resolved to put it behind her, her time in fhirdiad. thinking back on it has historically only served to dredge up a sense of loss for a friendship now out of reach and a simpler time where she was able to exist absent of title and the purpose that had been since carved into her. ]

You— [ he was her first friend outside of her siblings and hubert, the first to call her el outside of her own family, and soon will be the last alive to do so with her father barely clinging to life and waiting only for her to relieve him of his burden. ] It was you, back then.

[ it’s disorienting, having to reorder her thoughts around this new information, trying to discern how she feels about it past the shock. in a somewhat fumbling movement, she reaches to her waist and the sheath there, and from it pulls a dagger that he should be intimately familiar with. it’s obvious that she isn’t drawing it on him, and the way that she holds it between them is neutral, blade pointed sideways rather than towards him. ]

You gave me this.

[ it’s a statement more than a question, but she still looks to him for confirmation.

all these years she has kept it at her side, has never been without it. ]

[saviourking]

[ The relief that had felt absent and out of reach seems to edge closer in the face of her reaction. Twice today he has seen her unmasked, bereft of the self-possession and superiority she normally arms herself with, and that is two times more than he can say for these past months. But where her fear had only served to fuel his own terror, her surprise acts as the reverse. It’s almost stabilizing. A return to solid ground, however fragile.

Perhaps because, for the first time, he can meet her eyes and trace those features back to a younger version of the girl who stands in front of him. For all that they’ve both changed—irrevocably, physically and otherwise—there is comfort in glimpsing the familiar. It feels startlingly like hope. For what? He’s not certain. The idea that their friendship, in any form, could exist once more is a dream he’d thought extinguished. One he had long accepted and come to terms with. Nothing has changed, not really, but the warmth remains.

If anything, it strengthens from the sight of her dagger. That small, oft-mocked, heartfelt gift.

The first time he had caught sight of it, realizing she’d kept the weapon since those days, it was all he could to push down the fondness it inspired. Pared with the reveal that she remembers someone, if not him specifically, and there is no will strong enough to stop his lips from curving into a smile. Small, born out of melancholy as much as happiness, but genuine nonetheless. ]

I did. When I noticed you still carried it, even though you hadn’t seemed certain about the gift back then, it... It made me truly happy.

[ The final words are spoken quietly, tinged in self-consciousness.

There are questions brimming inside his chest, what made you hold onto it for so long? and did you ever cut your way to that future? most of all, but he lets them rest, hesitant to push past this moment. ]

[subversive]

[ there have been times where she has thought about what she would say if she ever had the chance to meet him again, the boy who had given her the dagger she holds, and words that she could not forget even if the rest of him blurred to the point where she would no longer recognize him in a crowd— or even placed right in front of her as he has been all this time. maybe she would have come to the conclusion herself, memories piecing themselves back together naturally, had she attempted to know dimitri at any level past surface. instead she had chosen disregard because anything beyond that could make her falter, hesitate when doing so is not an option. the institution that she seeks to bring to heel is more than a thousand years old, and the time she has is exponentially less. a lifetime cut into fractions in exchange for a power that will finally see the cycle of misfortune that had crushed her family underneath to its end. there is a certain amount of cruelty inherent in her plans, she would have to be either willfully blind or delusional not to recognize that, but she had not considered that cruelty would extend to reach the boy she had known. that he would come to block her path forward with his memory, the fleeting happiness that he had given her, and as someone who will eventually stand as her enemy.

now that she is presented with the opportunity, the dagger between them again, she is left bereft. the smile he wears matches what she feels, ( to think that this would happen, that the two of them would be placed in opposition is a kind of cruelty in itself, and she cannot blame this turn of fate on the goddess because she does not believe in her enough to do so ) the happiness of finding something presumed to be lost for good, but discovering that you’ve grown past it. ]

At the time, I hardly knew what to make of it. [ her expression softens a degree as her gaze falls to the dagger and how the light glints off of it. ] A year of trying my hand as a dance instructor repaid with a gift that I could not foresee myself making use of. [ she should leave it at that. she had not intended to reveal anything about herself during this conversation, but. in the last few minutes things have changed, the lingering shock wearing away inhibition, as well as what could be argued her better sense. ] When we met, I believed myself to be in exile. Barred from my and family save for my uncle who held my guardianship for reasons I did not yet understand, and had no power to change. Helpless against the circumstances that saw me displaced and forced to comply with the will of others, I considered myself nothing more than a victim.

[ there is a certain amount of shame laden in the words. even though she was a child, she cannot entirely forgive herself for the weakness necessitated for the mindset, it has always been a point of self-contempt. ]

What you said to me that day, it made me for the first time consider that I could have a say in it. If I found the present unacceptable, I could change it.

[ a hint of a smile, quite possibly the first genuine one aimed his way since meeting again. ]

It was a rather insightful gift, all things considered.

[saviourking]

[ There is much about Edelgard’s life, ranging from the full circumstances behind her stay and subsequent departure from Fhirdiad to the events that spanned the years between then and now, that remains a mystery. An unbridgeable gap he doubts could ever be entirely reconciled, even if he was inclined to try. Which, although the impulse is undeniably present in the wake of today’s revelations, he is not. For now, it’s enough to listen to her response—the acknowledgment that his farewell and the intention behind the gesture mattered, supported her way through that unknown path—and to catch a glimpse of her near imperceptible smile.

The sight of which serves to bolster his own. Transforming the expression into one of earnest nostalgia, accompanied by a breath of near-laughter, not entirely absent of humor. ]

In that case, I won’t apologize for being unable to think of a more appropriate gift at the time.

[ He wishes the conversation could remain in such relative lightheartedness, but there is something else he must say in the face of her unexpected honesty and the thread of derision directed solely towards herself. ]

Edelgard—[ El feels instinctive in a way he’s (almost) successfully repressed in the past, but it’s a line he won’t cross again without her consent. ] Neither of us are the same as we were back then. We’ve changed. I know there’s no way to return to those days, but... I’m glad to hear those words encouraged you to move forward. Helping you reach for a better future was everything I could have dreamed of at the time.

[ Except for the childish part of him that, more than anything else, simply desired for her stay. She was far from his only friend during that period, but there was always a difference between her and the others. Whether because their relationship was allowed to exist free from the burden of titles and expectations or... Well. Because of feelings he hadn’t understood at the time and has no inclination to name now.

In either case, it was a wish that didn’t truly dissolve until the flames of Duscur, when such selfish longing lost any right to remain within his heart. ]

And if there is ever anything I could do to assist you, even now... You need only say the word.

the way i thought this was going to be lighthearted 😢

[subversive]

[ they have changed, and which of them has changed the furthest beyond recognition is in her mind debatable. she remembers him as timid, or perhaps she was exceedingly domineering in comparison. she remembers being lonely, finding little joy in faerghus absent the familiar clamor of her siblings, until dimitri had inexplicably befriended her. she had been covetous of him time, insisted that on the days they spent together that he stay with her longer than he was meant to with the excuse that he hadn’t picked up the steps of the dance she had been attempting to teach him as well as she liked, and that to impress them to memory it was requisite that he practice in her company. thinking back on it, she supposes that she was rather transparent.

she didn’t anticipate loneliness would be an issue on returning to enbarr, but, after... what happened the imperial palace became eerily quiet. she doesn’t consider herself to be lonely now. or rather, it doesn’t matter if she is or not.

still, she has weaker moments where she wishes that she could spend just one day absent of the weight of her ambitions. ones where she wishes that she could reach out for something— someone to hold on to that would stabilize her. make sure that her heart does not freeze over entirely making her into someone unrecognizable, pull her from moments where she is submerged deep enough in her own memories that she fears that she will never be able to breathe again. that’s why his last sentence hurts, because it plays to that wish, and because he doesn’t know what he’s saying. if she bent and truly asked for his assistance, she’s sure he would recoil as if burned.

dimitri would never take one of her hands knowing that the other is bound to those who instigated the death of his family. had he any inkling of the truth, she thinks he would have not been so quick to help her at all, and would have been content to let her drown.

she tries not to let it show on her face, but it’s there in the loss of the happiness that she had briefly allowed to color her expression, and a flash of regret in her eyes. ]

The argument could be made that you have already assisted me more than enough for one lifetime. Certainly more than I could hope to repay, and I do not seek to place myself further in debt. [ is what she decides on for a response after a moment of silence. she sheaths the dagger back at her side in a movement that’s far more coordinated than when she had drawn it. ] Fruitless as it may be, I feel the first step in attempting to balance the scales between us is expressing gratitude.

[ which she has failed to do as much now as in the past. ]

Thank you, Dimitri.

haha, right? and then dramatic irony and pain ensued

[saviourking]

[ Dimitri’s smile wilts, crumpling and reforging into an expression closer to frustration, before it smoothes out once more into painful, practiced neutrality. It has a little to do with her own response, the way that even a brief flash of something resembling enjoyment is snuffed out and replaced with an emotion he can’t recognize. He’s just not familiar enough with this version of Edelgard to claim understanding of the thoughts that reflect across her face in that moment. Merely that they are unpleasant and he is the cause.

Worse than that, however, are the words that follow.

Goddess, he is so tired of debts. Both those he owes, which may well claim his life before they’re fulfilled, and those others seem determined to foist upon him. Especially the latter. Is it too much to have a single friendship, or even the shadow of one long since passed, allowed to exist without being constrained under an endless weight of status or dues? Or must every precious memory be bought and weighed to determine the balance that rests between them?

For all that he’s regained control of his face, the disappointment those thoughts inspire finds ways to make itself known. In the rigid set of his shoulders and the slight increase in volume when next he speaks. ]

Please, there’s no need to say such things. Back then... We were friends, weren’t we? Everything I did was for that reason and that alone. Because I wanted to, not out of the hope of some future reward. So you don’t owe me anything. You never did.

[ He sighs, an exhale of exasperation directed towards himself this time. For rambling on and trampling over her gratitude in the process. The following words come out slightly more composed. ]

But, if you must, consider those actions as payment for your many hours spent as a tireless dance tutor.

[ Where tireless stands for intense and vaguely terrifying. ]

[subversive]

[ it appears that even while trying to extend the thanks that she had not been able to, or had been too flustered to give on receiving his gift, that she has managed to misstep in a substantial enough way that the way he holds himself changes. had he given the same reaction to one of her statements a day ago she would not have cared, would have likely brushed it off entirely, perhaps internally commenting that concealing a reaction is more than controlling the lines of his face, before moving her thoughts to the more pressing issues that come about when you masquerade as a student while trying to raise an army and fund a war effort. there had been no reason to contemplate on dimitri’s mannerisms or how he might feel at any point in time, but now— for better, or more likely worse she does care. to the point where her mind turns to how she might rectify the mistake.

ridiculous. it is unlike her to do anything without a larger purpose, and there is no reason why she should be engaging with dimitri at all. it would be best to remove herself from this situation until she gets her thoughts in order, finds some way to compartmentalize, because while they were friends then they are not now. they are barely more than strangers after months, and should they continue on this path it will only end with more frustration on his part given that the girl who he is looking for in her, who did not consider everything in careful checks and balances, is gone.

there is an urge to try to explain herself and the weight behind the thank you which foes not just encompass the gift of the dagger itself, but how in all likelihood he has managed to save her life now twice. without his words ‘no matter how hard things get you can’t give in’, she would not have had the force of will which she has come to believe was the reason why she did not lose her mind, succumb to madness as her siblings had. but there is no way to tell him that, one thing, without unraveling it all. ]

Do you believe my motivation in assuming the position was entirely altruistic? [ rather than argue, or fumble her way through a half-explanation which is unthinkable, it is simpler to bend to the call of nostalgia and use it to push away darker thoughts. ] On realizing the vast difference in our skill level and the amount of time it would take to teach you to my own standards, I could have very well let the matter rest. But if I did, I would have had to concede to your protests that you were expected home, with no reason that you should stay in my company.

[ well... that is a somewhat unflattering similarity that she still has in common with her old self. rather than admit that she did not want him to go, she relied on the crutch of her lessons. she still is in firm possession of that trait, the stubborn refusal to admit that she needs anyone. ]

[saviourking]

[ The call of nostalgia, relying on the uncomplicated happiness of those peaceful days, proves to be an effective strategy. Largely (and somewhat embarrassingly so) because the explanation she gives of her long-ago behaviour was not one that occurred to him back then. In hindsight, it seems rather obvious, but he had been so caught up in his own enjoyment—and occasionally, his own fatigue—to recognize her gesture for what it was. A simple yearning for companionship, wrapped in the guise of a harsh taskmaster.

Even all those years ago, she was still stubborn enough to go through the motions of putting up a facade and hiding her true intentions. Artless, no doubt, compared to the mastery she’s found over time. The control she seems to wield across every aspect of her presentation, battered just enough under the stresses of the day to grant him the rare peek into the world below. Which, thus far, has revealed little except a startling helplessness when confronted with water and the discovery that he’s not alone in valuing those childhood memories.

The latter of the two is plenty to render this entire incident, discomfort and emotional turmoil included, a worthwhile turn of events. ]

Whatever your reasoning, those lessons proved useful more times than I would like to admit. And I’m certain they’ll continue to do so in the future.

[ After her departure, there was little purpose or opportunity for additional formal instruction, but that didn’t mean freedom from the infrequent festivities — each requiring an appearance from the crown prince. Rufus always had a... weakness, for such indulgences, no matter how inappropriate they were in the face of Faerghus’ struggles or how his nephew always seemed retreat as quickly as social requirements would allow. The sporadic memory of her instruction was a small comfort amidst the misery that dogged his steps during those events, but a comfort regardless. ]

Anyway... It may be best to continue this conversation on the way.

[ Having a moment outside of his own head allows him to better observe their surroundings, and recognize that their strongest efforts did nothing to stop the most... intense parts of their discussion from occurring stock-still in a more populated area of the monastery than they started.

Probably better not to waste energy considering how others will interpret the scene. He’s certain his housemates will be (overly) eager to fill him in, should the information reach their ears. ]

[subversive]

[ there’s nothing for it, no point in spending time thinking about what their fellow students must have made of it— the two of them standing together absorbed enough in one another that their surroundings fell to the wayside. at least no one has seen it fit to stop in their tracks and stare at the two of them, though she’s sure the temptation must have been there given the oddness of the sight. her standing with someone other than hubert who accompanies her on most occasions, though as of late she can be glimpsed with the other members of her house. when walking in step with ferdinand, linhardt, caspar, or bernadetta her expression varies from irritation to exasperation. irritation with the first two, and exasperation with the last. she vastly prefers the company of petra and dorothea. petra is intelligent, has all the makings and qualities of a leader, though there is a barrier between the two of them that is petra’s continued status as a political hostage, she does not want to spend so much time with her as to give the impression that she is monitoring her. she gets along with dorothea the easiest, allows the other girl to address her by a nickname of her own making, and she finds it amusing that even hubert has in a sense bent to her will and now turns on being called ‘hubie’.

she does not wonder about what their peers might make of this, but she wonders what hubert will. he has never liked speaking about her time in the kingdom, thinking of the incident starting with her uncle spiriting her away as a personal failure in his duty to protect her. she cannot imagine he would see this, spending time with dimitri outside of what is strictly necessary, in any favorable light.

there isn’t a verbal acknowledgement of his statement, just an incline of her head before she starts back on the path to the infirmary, her expression now righted to the point where an onlooker could imagine that they were previously having a discussion on something as mundane as the merits of different types of weaponry. well, if not for the persisting dampness of their clothing, and the way she has crossed her arms over her chest as if trying to prevent the meager warmth that she has from leaving her and the cold from further leeching in.

after a moment : ] I find myself interested in reasoning of your own. Given what you’ve said, you must have recognized me on my arrival here. [ she doesn’t remember feeling anything in particular when she met dimitri, no tug of memory insisting that she might have known him, just a mild curiosity paired with an unfair burgeoning disdain for the prince of the holy kingdom. ] It’s clear to me that you held our friendship as children in high regard, and knowing that I can’t help but question why you did not seek to reestablish it. Or, at the least, attempt to reinstate my memory of its existence.

[ if she had known then... would she truly have done anything differently? it’s difficult to say. though she can admit that it would have been a great deal harder to go through with her plans of having both him and claude assassinated. ]

Did you see no hope in doing so? Or is it that you simply did not care to on realizing that you did not befriend a simple member of the Adrestian nobility, but the Imperial Princess herself?

[saviourking]

[ His own housemates’ reactions are easy to predict—and none of them apt to match Hubert’s intensity. A trait evident even in the limited and not especially pleasant time Dimitri has spent in the other man’s presence. Unlike Edelgard, his reputation is not cultivated on a ground of stand-offishness and reserve, so the sight of him with a leader from another house is unlikely to sprout rumours by itself. The depth of their discussion and the state of their clothing, on the other hand...

Well, that’s enough to breed curiosity. It all serves to make him grateful that none of the Blue Lions know of his connection to Edelgard, neither as the identity of his mysterious childhood friend nor the mother they share in common. In the absence of that information, the only responses he needs anticipate are Sylvain’s somewhat disturbing imagination, Dedue’s tireless concern, and a round of harmless curiosity from the rest. Exhausting but ultimately innocuous.

After the heaviness of the last several minutes, it’s a relief to continue moving forward. The simple act of walking a serviceable distraction in comparison to their earlier position, the inspection behind her searching gaze, particularly in the face of his next confession. It is... a bit humiliating. ]

No, your title had nothing to do with it.

[ Originally, at least. ]

At first... I wasn’t certain if you’d forgotten entirely or if you were merely choosing to treat me as a stranger. If it was the latter, I did not think it right to intrude or insist otherwise.

[ No matter how much the thought had hurt, he had assumed she must have her reasons. Just as she does for holding others at a distance or maintaining such harsh self-control. Even if that justification may only boil down to pride. ]

When it became obvious that was not the case and you truly had no memory of our friendship... Weeks had passed. There were few opportunities to find the time or the right words to explain that history. [ He’d wondered, more than once, how insignificant those days must have been in her eyes to be left behind so easily. If his inability to let go was based on the truth of his memories or if the tragedies that followed had blinded him the reality and left an illusion of warmth in its place. ] Eventually, it seemed preferable to keep those thoughts to myself rather than burden you with stories of the distant past. Especially when we’ve both changed significantly. Too much so to define our relationship on events from years ago.

[ Spoken out loud, it sounds like excuse after excuse, all arranged in the service of preventing a single awkward conversation. Yet they’d felt sturdier and far less selfish in the privacy of his own mind. ]

[subversive]

[ it isn’t surprising, that her title hadn’t been his primary concern, that in the end it had been something much more simple. concern for her and placing the presumed burden of their association on her shoulders rather than concern for what their friendship might mean in the greater scheme of things given their respective statuses as heirs to territories… with a complicated history. the sentiment is still there in adrestria, scorn for faerghus and the church which supported its break from the empire even though the event occurred centuries ago. perhaps that is why the current nobility and the prime minister were so eager to create a peerless emperor, regardless of what that process would entail, that could reunify and rule over the entirety of fodlan. a perceived wrong finally righted with her ascension. it is amusing, all things considered, that her presence here at the monastery has been considered by the church as a gesture of good faith from the empire, a sign that reconciliation may be on the horizon instead of the truth.

there is an urge to point out that the totality of his defense speaks to a lack of courage ( and it could be argued from someone else, she has little moral ground to stand on if any at all, that he participated in a lie of omission no matter how well-meaning ) but to do that would be excusing her own part in it. the fact that her demeanor and subsequent dismissal created an environment which turned few opportunities to explain into just about none.

part of the mission of garreg mach and the officer’s academy is to foster ties between the future lords and leadership of the continent, but that has never been of interest to her. on arriving at the monastery she had already decided against attempting to do so. a decision that had only been cemented as claude made his own personal mission clear : to irritate her. as evidenced by how he continues to call her princess, and the ‘there’s a rat’ stint during their practice battle. ]

In the case that it is still among your concerns, I do not consider the history between us to be a burden. [ not at the moment, at least. for now there’s still something novel in it, being able to put a name and a face with the memories and feelings left over from that time. the distant past, as he puts it. feelings that could be named as friendship surely, but edged with something else. affection of a different nature. ] As strange as it may sound, I never truly lost those memories in their entirety, only the details which would have placed you within them.

[ who knows what he’ll make of the statement. it is one thing to forget, and another for a set of memories to fracture in a way where the broad strokes remain but the specifics— the color of his eyes, his hair, his name, all managed to slip through her fingers.

she glances at his profile sidelong, the pause in her speech heavy with an uncharacteristic hesitance. ]

Admittedly, there have been times where... I have wondered what my life would be like if I were born absent of title, if I could be content with a more mundane existence. In those instances, I have used our time together as reference for speculation, and concluded that I could be.

[ for a reason she thinks it best not to delve too deeply into, it's suddenly important that he know he wasn't alone in it. that to her all of it, the dagger, that year, it meant something. ]