bakerstreet | affection

Entry tags:

affection

the affectionate physical contact meme

you love spending time with your significant other. but sometimes, just "spending time" with him/her isn't enough. you need to have your hands on each other every now and then.

➝ post your character below, with your character's name and series in the subject.

➝ tag other people, using an rng with range 1-8 to roll a scenario.

➝ roll as many times as you want, play out whatever you want!

one; hugging. you just want to give your loved one a warm embrace. be it out of happiness, to comfort them while they're down, or just to give them something warm to latch onto, you just want to wrap your arms around them.

two; kissing. whether it's a peck on the cheek or a deep kiss, a kiss good-bye or a romantic kiss, you find yourself compelled to kiss the other person! be as tender or as passionate as you so choose.

three; holding hands. it's a simple gesture, really -- to reach out and take someone's hand. but that one simple gesture can convey any number of sentiments. what the sentiment is, is up to you, but you find yourself reaching out to take your significant other's hand.

four; carrying. is your loved one hurt and needs a lift? do they want a piggyback ride? or do you just want to spare them the effort of walking? whatever the reason, you're now itching to pick up your partner and carry them to their destination.

five; i love you. you've said it before or maybe you haven't but now you have to say it again or for the first time.

six; dancing. kick up the music, because it's time to dance! but no lone dancing allowed -- you need to have a partner! you can do whatever dance strikes your fancy. personally, i recommend the slow dance, but you can do whatever you want!

seven; massaging. did your significant other have a rough day? did they get hurt? or do you just feel like doing something really nice for them? whatever it is, you're giving them a nice massage now. they'll feel wonderful in no time!

eight; flirting. the easiest way to break the ice or maybe you're just an overly flirty person.

nine; cuddling. sometimes there's just no better feeling than curling up next to each other on a warm sofa. hold each other, lie next to each other, fall asleep on each other -- it's all good here.

ten; wild card! reroll, pick an option, or come up with something else!

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( fair warning she's bad at this. )

[What is it about Ryuuko Matoi that draws Ichigo in like this? He doesn't reallyknow, and that alone drives him nuts on a daily basis. They're so much alike that it almost makes every interaction more painful than the last--physically and mentally. They are eerily similar people, and that alone causes so many confrontations, complications and downright blow outs that anyone in their right mind would try to keep them the fuck apart. If not for their own sakes, then for the rest of the people and things around them. They are a frighteningly destructive force when together.

Looking deeper--which Ichigo tries not to do because frankly it's a little bit scary--it's probably for the same reason that they are finding themselves drawn in like fucking magnets. Sure, she is equally abrasive, jaded, and head strong as he is, but the more time he spends with her, the more Ichigo can see the other things they have in common. The good things. Like her will to never back down or the knowledge that if he was in dire need of someone having his back in a fight, she would.

There are more things, but as Ichigo lands behind her in their designated meeting place, he decides that he's over dwelling on it. With her, it's always far easier to just act than to think about it and today is no exception. Maybe he aims to startle her, or maybe... just maybe, all of that thinking about the whys and the hows has him feeling a little softer toward her than normal. But either way, it's truly just an impulse he doesn't fight when he winds his arms around her shoulders and pulls her in against him. A firm embrace.

To counter any pending jabs about him doing something as emotionally soft as hugging her, Ichigo gives an appropriate greeting... though the usual sharpness of it just. Isn't quite the same as usual.]

Hey, asshole.

[she'd been expecting him, of course, but it's still a touch startling to be suddenly grabbed from behind without any warning. she recognizes him almost instantly, but not quickly enough to prevent her heart from practically leaping into her throat, pulse racing. all composure lost, she gapes, forced to chase after her own breath in the aftermath. clamping her mouth shut again she frowns, naturally, craning her head back to glare up at him in disapproval with faint traces of panic still swirling in her crystal blue eyes. she struggles to find the syllables (and breath) necessary to form the words she needs to express her alarm and displeasure all rolled into one.]

I-Idiot! You could've given me a friggin' heart attack!!

[ she lifts a hand to her chest, as if to form a shield between him and her heart and protect it from any further damage. it's just too bad she doesn't comprehend the fact he's already managed to worm his way inside emotionally. she'd rather take a punch to the face than admit it, how strong her attachment to him has grown and how her heart never fails to skip a beat the moment he steps into the room.

her other hand reaches higher to lightly tap a closed fist against his chin, implying she'd absolutely sucker punch him in the jaw right now... if she didn't like having him this close up against her so incredibly much.]

[Oh man, Ichigo knows that this has the potential to literally hurt, especially with the way she taps that fist against his chin, but he can't help but laugh at her reaction. It's short lived, though he does grin down at her as he reaches down to put his hand over the one Ryuuko places over her heart. A small squeeze as he takes it into his, the only form of apology she will be getting from him for this stunt.]

Here I thought maybe you'd be getting better about not letting me sneak up on you.

[Because it's always a challenge, with them. But this one, while played off as just a way to get a rise out of her, isn't so one sided. Ichigo is fast, dangerously so, and it's really good practice for her. A tool for her to use, to protect herself. No need for a hand shielding your heart when you're too fast for it to be caught, right?

At that thought, Ichigo's grin softens into something a little bit more subdued. Thoughtful. He has no intention of letting her go, of her hand or by releasing the hug, not until she makes him or he finds that the moment has ended... but it hasn't. Probably because she didn't actually uppercut him.

Yet.]

Don't patronize me, jackass.

[colour darkens her cheeks, a dangerous shade of red. dangerous, because an embarrassed Ryuuko is a reckless one. she'd do anything within her power to mask it, if she could, but at this proximity it's impossible to hide from him- or herself. she can't ignore the way her chest flutters as his hand closes around hers, an added barrier of protection between them and the outside world. everything else just fades to gray, when they're together like this. she's not sure when it happened, but Ichigo somehow became the sun in which the metaphorical planet known as Ryuuko Matoi orbits around, holding her safe and warm in his embrace.

fingers gradually unfurling from her closed fist she extends that hand further, tracing up along the strong etch of his jaw. pushing her fingers up into his hair at the nape they settle just above at the base of his skull where she presses with just enough force to make him dip his head down towards her. pushing up on her tip toes she elongates her neck, adjusting the somewhat awkward angle of her head just so, mouths meeting in the middle.]

Edited 2020-07-08 08:08 (UTC)

You make it so easy to do, though.

[Ichigo really does expect to get hit for this, but as per usual,Ryuuko manages to surprise him. His own heart rate is speeding up with the way she tips her head back and slides her fingers along his jawline. Brown eyes search hers for the brief moment in between her hand meeting the back of her skull and the motion of her pushing up while tugging him down to her.

She doesn't have to work hard for it, honestly. These are the moments that fucking terrify Ichigo, because it's too easy to fall in to this with her. It's starting to feel so comfortable, so welcome that he finds himself wanting it, wanting her--and not just in that high strung sexual way they started out with. No... he just wants her presence around him in almost every capacity at this point. More and more every time. The fact that he doesn't even think twice about moving his arm to officially end what remained of the embrace so that his hand can raise to catch her jaw gently between long fingers, palm very lightly pressed flat against her throat to hold her there, as he meets her in the kiss without even a hint of hesitation is a serious indicator of that.]

[she lingers there, lips against lips, deepening the kiss as best she can from this particular angle. her fingers slide against his scalp, lightly massaging though his hair as they drift leisurely towards his crown. both of them are always moving through life at a breakneck pace, so it feels good to be able to take things a little slower and just enjoy the moment. her body relaxes back against his, melding them together as her fingers twine through soft ginger locks. she likes the idea of spoiling him like this, even if she doesn't realize that's what she's doing. it's just what feels right for them, right now.

eventually her hand retracts and their mouths ease apart, but Ryuuko strains for one last parting peck before her heels touch back down against the ground.]

I like my greeting better.

[Ryuuko won't miss the small approving sound that gets caught in the back of his throat, he just can't help it. There is something about hands in his hair that make something inside of him melt. Whether or not it's being yanked on in the heat of the moment, or it's more like this, tender and meaningful, it's something that Ichigo enjoys immensely. Not that he's had many hands in his hair like this, but the fact that Ryuuko is the one doing it only adds to the (stupid, it's a stupid descriptor for a feeling dammit) fluttery sensation it sends to his stomach and heart.

This fucking girl is going to be the death of him some day, he just knows it.

When he feels her shift and start to lower her heels back to the ground, his hand on her throat drops away as he finds himself resisting the urge to follow that parting kiss. That liplock almost feels too fleeting to him, and the disappointment that it's over is very real for him. But he manages to straighten out, not really aware of the faint smile her words draw into his expression. Normally, he would find a way to argue with her, to disagree... but their normal has been changing incredibly fast lately, and this softer side to what they have is starting to be easy to settle into.]

I actually can't disagree with that, for once. You win, this time.

[A person running to catch the bus speeds past them suddenly, and Ichigo flushes a little as he realizes that yeah, they're still right in the middle of everything. Not that his desire to be alone with her comes with any expectations, but it's definitely easier to approach this affection thing without a bunch of fucking strangers around them. So, with his mind made up...] Brace yourself. [That's her only warning before Ichigo is shifting the arms that are wound around her. He scoops her up bridal style and just. Takes the fuck off. It'll probably be an incredibly disorienting and strange sensation to her as they move at (literal) lightning fast speed, with Ichigo easily hopping up on just air to vault onto a building. Then he uses each following structure as a stepping stone to the next, until he finds one that he deems tall enough and stops on it.

Maybe Ryuuko will be less likely to punch him square in the face for that stunt if he eases the shock with a kiss to her forehead? Once that kiss is delivered, he sets her down, though he does still keep her close by keeping one hand on her shoulder.]

[Ryuuko's no stranger to speed, and it's no wonder given ample past displays of her quick footedness in battle. but, even so, there's something precarious about soaring through the open air at record breaking speeds when you're not the one in control of precisely how fucking fast you're traveling, never mind where.

whatever complaints she starts to grumble out about being lifted are instantly drowned out by the sound of her girlish shriek the moment they take off flying. whatever she'd thought to expect when he'd delivered that warning couldn't possibly compare to the reality of him rocketing skyward with Ryuuko tagging along for the ride. squinting against the wind as Ichigo bounces from one rooftop to the next like some bizarre real life version of leap frog. it's not the fact that he can do it that shocks her, more than it is a matter of her being unable to fully prepare herself before hand.

once Ichigo finally finds a spot he deems suitable and they come to a complete stop, Ryuuko's head is still reeling from the adrenalin overload. the soft, barely there sensation of his lips against her forehead is the only physical certainty she has to rely on, legs trembling like jello as he releases them from his hold to encourage her to stand on her own again. she looks fucking crazy right now, dude. wind whipped hair sticking out in every direction like she'd somehow managed to stick her finger in an electrical socket.

Ryuuko frowns as she pieces together the puzzle of exactly what the fuck just happened.... and proceeds to kick him hard in the shin.]

FUCKING warn somebody before you pull some crazy shit like that, asshole!

[technically he did warn her, but he could've done a hell of a lot better than 'Brace yourself'.]

Edited (SO. MANY. TYPOS!!!!) 2020-07-09 07:01 (UTC)

[Was that a surprised, near shout of pain? Sure was.

But... okay. He deserved that. He really did. But Ichigo doesn't look happy about the well placed shot to his shin, and he has to shift his weight so that the sharp fire shooting up his leg is eased just a little bit. It's hard not to double over so he can try to rub the spot she hit with ferocity.]

Y'know, I'd almost rather you just hit me in the face than the shin! Jeez! I did warn you!

[Well deserved or not, that doesn't mean Ichigo is gonna just roll over and apologize, either. Why would he? Complaining aside, that indignant and disheveled look she has is fucking cute and it makes the dull throb absolutely worth it. After a moment of scowling down at her, Ichigo is pursing his lips together almost thoughtfully and raising his hands to her head, hands gently smoothing over those errant strands of dark hair. Then he drops them down to her shoulders, brown eyes meeting Ryuuko's as he offers her a faint smile without even realizing it.]

All fixed. You'll survive.

[whatever remaining anger is still brewing beneath that sour expression instantly simmers when his attention drifts over to her hair. were it anyone else, she'd swat their hands away without a second thought. with Ichigo, though, she's grown to develop a bit more patience. in other words, she's got a huge soft spot for the big lug. there's no hiding the blush that rises to the surface of her cheeks, just a touch embarrassed by the tender look in his eye. his fingers gently combing through her messy locks is unexpectedly soothing, and she nearly forgets all about being mad in the first place. her trademark frown morphs into something more resembling a pout as she searches his stupidly soft expression for some sort of explanation as to why he's suddenly being so nice. she did just kick him, after all. pursing her lips and crossing her arms she averts her gaze, heat rising in her face far too rapidly for her liking.]

I-Idiot.

[her heart is pounding in her chest, and she tries to write it off as merely coming down off the adrenaline, but truthfully she knows it's more than that. he makes her feel so, so.... warm.]

Next time you try something like that, it'll be your life in danger.

[the threat is half baked. there's no conviction in her voice when she makes that promise, because she knows she'd never be able to follow through with it. she doesn't know what she'd do if she ever lost him.... and the knowledge of that scares her more than anything.]

[Ryuuko would be pissed if she knew that Ichigo is watching that blush and thinking that it's endearing to see, and having his life threatened somehow only adds to that. It's her, trying to maintain her bad ass, doesn't need anyone persona... something Ichigo absolutely relates to on a deep level. But knowing that he, Kurosaki Ichigo, can cause her to falter and turn all different shades of red without her actually acting in violence to keep him away is...

He doesn't even know. There isn't a word to describe the feeling it gives him. It makes his chest tighten, and makes him want to keep breaking down the solid barriers that Ryuuko has put up in order to protect herself from any vulnerabilities that come with a closeness like this. Ichigo wants to find his way through them, so that he can look her in the face and have her believe it when he says I've got you. Because he does. In every sense. Ichigo would light the world on fire if he thought it was going to hurt her any further, and without a second thought.

And that's frightening.

Realizing he's been lost in some pretty deep thoughts for a minute, his cheeks flush and he mirrors the way that she looked away from him, gaze dropping down and to the side. It's as if Ichigo is worried that Ryuuko might be able to see where that train of thought went if she looks close enough.]

Liar. You keep saying shit like that and not following through. So who is the real idiot here?

[the correct answer is: both of them.

never before has there existed a more perfectly matched pair of idiots than these two morons right fucking here. ask anyone who knows them, and they'll confirm it. it's one of those impossible relationships that should really only ever result in disaster, but somehow defies all expectations and logic in order to survive. in a way, it's like they feed off the stereotypical notion that nothing good could ever come from them being together and make it their unspoken mission to prove them all wrong.

Ryuuko's not even sure she understands the hows or why behind what she feels, too headstrong to really acknowledge the answer outright. romance is uncharted territory, okay?? and as far as she's concerned, not meant for someone like her in the first place. she doesn't have the slightest inkling how to navigate her way through.... uh, whatever the hell this is turning out to be?? nevertheless, she can't openly deny her feelings when they're staring her in the face, mirrored in Ichigo's impassioned gaze.

she can't. handle. this!!!]

Sh-Shut up!

[she shoves them both apart, taking a few steps back and turning her back to him as her hands ball up into fists at her sides. it's absolutely maddening, this feeling, making her wish she could crawl right out of her skin. she wants to scream. she wants to bury her head in the sand somewhere and stay there. anything would be preferable to continuing on with this stupid song and dance they're playing at. she groans, kicking thin air as she grumbles to herself under her breath.]

It's only 'cause .... !

[this is the most frustrating part. her inability to express what she's feeling in the "right way". most girls would simply bat their lashes and smile when they're feeling happy around the guy they like. but Ryuuko is not like most girls... and she has to wonder if there's anyone out there who's actually willing to put up with someone like her for the long haul. a part of her hopes Ichigo will be that one special person for her, but another part is terrified he might not want to.]

I-I don't know what you want from me!

[Oh shit.

The second Ryuuko pushes them apart and turns her back to him, Ichigo's face falls as he stares at her, and he can feel his stomach tighten uncomfortable with the insane fear that he just... what, fucked something up? He knows about as much about navigating whatever this is between them, but he also isn't stupid and they've obviously taken a sharp turn from the usual shit giving banter into something dangerously real. Ichigo doesn't know where he went wrong or what happened, and the desire to scramble to fucking fix it is terrifying in it's own right. He starts to move, to reach out and... something. He doesn't even know. Shit.

It's what she says next though has him stopping dead in his tracks, those eyes still wide as he just. Stares for a long time. His heart is pounding in his ears and chest with a ruthlessness that he almost can't stand, as her words ring over in his mind over and over again. I don't know what you want from me!

God damnit, Ryuuko. She's going to make him turn and face the building emotions that he has been compartmentalizing and shoving down deep, and he is going to do it. Even if he doesn't know how the fuck to say it, doesn't know if he has the balls to actually face the truth he has been trying to brush off out of an inexperienced discomfort. What does Ichigo want from her? Even thinking it to himself leaves him feeling stupidly vulnerable, and frankly, terrified of the rejection he thinks could be leveled his way. It runs the risk of ruining all of this, and that alone leaves a dreadful breathless feeling in his chest.

What Ichigo wants... is something he's already thought to himself, in this very meeting, but it goes so much deeper than what he had allowed to surface. People only feel the ferocity of being willing to destroy a world that threatens to hurt someone when they love them; whether it's on a base friendship level, a familial level or something far deeper than that. And looking at all three of those, it's really easy to see where she lands on his radar. It would be incredibly awkward and fucked up if he saw her in a family kind of way considering how much he lusts for her. There's too much pent up tension and emotion for her to fall into the simple category of friend for him, either, even though he's been trying to keep her in that box despite her not fitting into it at all.]

Fuck. You're really gonna make me go and say it...

[It's more to himself than anything, said under his breath in a tone she probably hasn't heard from from him before. Ichigo sounds worried, like genuinely fearful of something bad happening. And he is. Ryuuko is hard to read when it comes to serious things like this, and those very barriers he wishes to get behind are the ones that could threaten to cut him off completely. He isn't ready for that, he doesn't know what he will do if she pushes him away right now...

But he's going to do it. Because Ryuuko deserves to know that she is worth it, that she does deserve better things... and hey, if it's not him, at least maybe this will open her eyes to the possibility and lead to some form of real happiness for her in the long run. If you love someone, all you can ask for is their happiness and good well being, right? No matter where you end up standing in conjunction to it.

One step. Then another, and those long legs of his have cleared the distance in between them. His hand finds her shoulder one again, and Ryuuko will be able to feel the tension he holds there as he speaks.] Ryuuko, I... [A heavy breath, and his voice drops even lower as he struggles to force the words out.] I want you. [You fucking idiot. But he holds that one back this time. That's not going to help anything right now, and even what he gave he knows isn't enough for her to believe.

So Ichigo uses that hand to force her to turn, just enough so he can look at her. Now she will be able to see the serious fear in his eyes as he searches hers with them, wide eyed and jaw clenched as if he is bracing himself for a serious blow. The next part comes out a shaky whisper after an incredibly long moment of hesitation, and he can feel the heat of embarrassment just instantly saturate his entire being.]

I-I think that I'm... that I'm falling. I-in love. With you.

[Ichigo's internal dilemma is unknowingly echoed by the emotionally stunted teen five feet away.

this rooftop isn't big enough for the sheer volume of emotional baggage they've both been hoarding away all this time. she'd been so sure that if she could just carry on avoiding the subject, then eventually everything would calm down and just sort itself out. that way she wouldn't have to actually confront the fact that she desperately needs to deal with all these pent up emotions. it's not something she's proud of, by any means. if anything she's ashamed at the fact that even when the opportunity does arise to address what it is she's feeling deep inside, she chickens out. Ryuuko has a bad habit of bolting when things get too tough to handle- but she doesn't want to do that with this-- with him.

if she runs now, how could she ever hope to find the courage to look him in the eye ever again? she doesn't want to lose what they have, what they've built. but most importantly, she can't tolerate the idea of not having him by her side. she's so fucking scared of losing him that the very thought of it makes her physically ill. her gut lurches, breaking out into a sweat as her lunch from earlier threatens to make a re-appearance.

her mind is racing in about a hundred different directions when she feels the touch of his hand at her shoulder, eyes widening with uncertainty as her gaze remains fixed on the cement floor in front of her. he's cornered her, and she's not sure she's ready- not sure she'll ever be, but she doesn't have a choice because he's decided for them both. it takes every ounce of strength she has not to shudder when he speaks her name, or when he lowers his voice to reflect the seriousness of this moment when he tells her he wants her.

that could mean any number of things, couldn't it?

he wants her body?

he wants her companionship?

god dammit, why can't he be more specific!?! she's just about to yell at him for being too vague when he forcibly draws her shoulder back, forcing her to actually look at him. she catches his wide eyed stare, mirroring it in every capacity as her heart slams repeatedly against her ribs. the intensity of his gaze is near unbearable to the point where she feels she might buckle beneath the weight of it, biting hard on the inside of her cheek as she readies herself for whatever brutal blow is about to come next. only....

o-only what he actually says is so completely and utterly out of this FUCKING WORLD that she very nearly implodes the moment those words leave his lips.

just.

!!!!!!!!!

hold please. her mind literally short circuited when the word love reached her ears. ERROR. SYSTEM OVERLOAD!!! the only visible outward change is her skin color darkening as her temperature skyrockets and every porcelain inch become saturated in a rich shade of red.

eventually, after what feels like a lifetime, her jaw slacks and she sucks in a sharp breath, absorbing the information he's just given her and. processing.

.............]

L-Love?

[her voice sounds so small, nearly choking on the single syllable as her heart threatens to burst into a million teeny tiny pieces upon uttering it.]

[Ichigo watches Ryuuko like he has never watched her before, so fully present in the moment that he feels like each second is an eternity that might actually kill him with how painfully slow they go by. He doesn't dare to breathe as he watches her process--or not, based off of the way she just stares back at him. Equally wide eyed, and redder than he has ever seen her.

It's not a reaction that gives him much to work with, and the urge to fucking cut and run out of sheer terror that the mere prospect of her laying that rejection into him is immeasurable. His foot even adjusts, heel popping up in preparation to assist him, but he doesn't. Ichigo forces it back down, swallowing hard at the way Ryuuko repeats the word love in that uncharacteristically tiny voice, as if it's a completely foreign word to her.

It's easy to blame the force of his heart beat on the way he can feel his hands shaking a little, and he realizes that Ryuuko can probably feel it too. It makes him draw his hand back, unable to stomach the thought that he is so fucking scared that she is going to turn him down right now that he is shaking. It's a testament to the fact that his words are truer than even he realized, because for all of that 'as long as she as happy, even if it's not with me' crap, that is the last fucking thing he wants to happen. Just the thought of that being the case makes it feel like a boulder is being dropped onto his shoulders, while simultaneously having his blood lit on fire with an irrational jealousy and anger.

And it hasn't even happened yet.

His voice is equally small as he manages to choke out his response, and the intensity of the worry he has only seems to reflect in his almost boyishly frightened expression. Those eyes never leave hers, even as he drops his hand down at his side, clenching his fist hard to try to steady himself. Hard enough to cut into the palms of his hands with his nails.]

T-that's. That's w-what I said...

Edited (hasty excitement is hasty) 2020-07-10 05:09 (UTC)

[her only response, at first, is to close her mouth.

meanwhile, inside her brain, her voice of reason is literally screaming at her to say something-- anything. the only trouble is, her body isn't listening at all. and she's just standing there, in shock. is she having a stroke?? because if she had to imagine what a stroke might feel like, this could most definitely be it.

finally, she starts to sway a bit, and for a moment she's thoroughly convinced she's going to black the fuck out or simply cease to exist. it's as if the world stopped turning the moment he said that word. that impossible word. the word she never even dared to dream that she'd hear spoken to her out loud. at least, not like that. spoken like he really, truly, honest to god means it with every single fiber of his being.]

Ahh-....

[she feels dizzy all of a sudden, probably the force of all the blood rushing to her head just now. whatever the case, her footing fumbles despite the fact she's been standing still this entire time, and she's forced to catch herself, feet shuffling when his hand retracts and she's left to hold herself up by her strength alone. she manages it, somehow, keeping herself upright and turning fully to face him, hair catching on the breeze.]

I-I.... [her tone is hoarse, edging past the giant lump in her throat as her eyes threaten to water at the inexplicable pressure building up inside.] I can't believe you just said that.

[fuck. now they're just talking in circles! fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!!!!!!]

[Watching Ryuuko sway a little, looking like she might just pass out right there, has Ichigo wanting to move to catch her just on instinct alone. But she manages to steady herself again, and he's almost thankful for that. Ichigo doesn't even know if this is just an insane build up to his heart being incinerated in his chest or not, and touching her right now feels like it might break him.

I can't believe you just said that.

Fuck. What the fuck is he supposed to do with that?? This lack of anything besides shock is going to kill him where he stands, from suffocation or a heart attack--maybe both. His chest is starting to ache, and burn, because he still hasn't let himself really breathe since even uttering those words and because the hammering in his chest is only increasing with each passing second.

Ichigo can't take this. Following a very deep breath, he is snapping. His fist clenches even tighter, the feeling of nails agitating his already split skin the only thing that keeps him even slightly grounded as he spits his thoughts--his very real fear out in between them with an almost frantic tone.]

W...would you say something?! Something w-with some substance to it?! I-if... If you're about to reject me, just... just get it over with already, cause I can't sit here in suspense anymore! Y-you're making me wish I had a time machine, so I could go back and tell myself to keep my fucking mouth shut and not ruin everything!

[Ichigo stops as suddenly as he started, and he kind of reels back, as if those words escaped him with a very real force that pushes him backwards. And he can't stand to look at that frozen shock that has been on her face since he stupidly told her what he'd been holding onto deep inside, so it's his turn to turn away, his other hand coming up to thread into those errant orange locks of hair tightly. Now that he is breathing, it's a rapid fire struggle to hold on to each one, leaving him almost panting like he's just been in a fight.

This is bordering on the edge of a panic attack at this rate.]

W-what the fuck was I thinking?! I-I cant... 'm such an idiot... ! Fuck!

[despite how every ticking second feels like it takes an hour to pass, Ryuuko finds herself struggling to keep up. Ichigo's voice travels like a ghost on the wind, his back to her in the blink of an eye. it's like all at once the world starts turning again but she's stuck in slow motion.

no no no no no no no. this isn't what she wants at all. she wants to call out after him, wants to scream his name at the top of her lungs until she's blue in the face. but all the words and sounds jumble together, clotting in her throat. this is so stupid. she's being so stupid! why the fuck can't she just say what she god damn feels!? Ichigo did. he found the courage, so why is she still standing here like a fucking coward while he tears himself down. she's so frustrated she could break down and cry right here....

wait...

lifting a trembling hand up to her cheek, her breath catches when she realizes it's wet, tears streaming down her face. is she really just going to stand here and cry like a damn baby after Ichigo just bared his fucking soul to her like that???]

I'm pathetic....

[clenching her jaw she wills herself to move, dragging herself out of the mental cement holding her feet in place. one step, then another, until she's barreling into his back with the force of a bulldozer and tackling him to the ground. her knees scrape against the rough concrete hard enough to draw blood but she doesn't care. she's not letting go of him for anything, arms wound tight around his torso, her grip just shy of suffocating as she yells against his back.]

Stop talking, stupid!! G-Give me the chance to say I love you back!!!

[Normally, Ichigo wouldn't be caught off guard by her coming at him, but he's too busy trying not to let himself slip into a full blown anxiety attack at the fact that he just confessed his fucking love to her at all. He doesn't hear her move, and isn't focused enough to be following her energy, so when she plows into his back like that? He topples like a precariously tall game of Jenga in an instant, resulting in him eating shit on the concrete.

Also oddly out of character for him is the way he doesn't yell at her in return. His elbows, took the brunt of the fall and are also torn open, but he just doesn't care, because Ryuuko's words are like a kick directly to his chest, once again stealing the breath he was already struggling to get in his panic. Though... it might be the crushing force of how tight her arms are wound around him. It's his turn to freeze for a long moment, as he replays it in his head over and over again. Like he misheard, and is searching for the catch.

But no... she said that. Ryuuko Matoi really just said that to him, that she loves him, in return for his own confession, and

Is something wrong with her voice?

Ichigo can't move very well with the way she is clinging to his back tightly, so he has to crane his head to try to get a glimpse of her... and it doesn't work. He pushes up a little, to try to get her attention. For as high strung as Ichigo sounded just a few moments ago, now he sounds... oddly calm. It's not necessarily that he is calm, just that both her words and the impact seem to have knocked him into a weird plane of existence that doesn't involve freaking the fuck out.

Somehow, she always knows just what he needs.]

Ryuuko... let me up. [Because he needs to look at her. Because this isn't going to work the way he needs it to, with his face in the concrete and her potentially crying into his back. And that's exactly how her voice sounds, Ichigo isn't stupid. He hears that sound a lot, with his younger sister Yuzu. The idea that she is crying at all, and because of him in any capacity makes it feel like his heart might crack in his chest. And Ichigo needs to fix it. Right now.]

[sh-she said it! granted- it's not at all how she wanted to say it, but she said it. Ryuuko had wanted it to be special, like how it always happened in the movies, with the sun setting in the background and a gentle embrace. well, there was nothing gentle about it, but they are embracing... kind of. though it's more like Ryuuko holding Ichigo hostage as she refuses to lessen her grip or let him up.

she burrows closer against him, pressing her face into the center of his back and breathing in his scent before exhaling with a choked sob. she's not about to let him see her straight bawling into his shirt, fighting back the tears that just keep coming. she must look like a complete idiot, crouched over him, blood tricking down to stain in small jagged shaped patches against the rooftop. but something in her threatens to break when he makes that request of her, sounding cool, calm and collected. as though everything that just transpired between them never happened in the first place.

suddenly doubting her own perception of reality her arms loosen somewhat, before unhinging herself from him completely. sitting up on her knees she lifts a scraped palm to rub the back of her hand beneath her eyes, frantically trying to erase any evidence that she'd been crying to begin with as she ducks her head to avoid eye contact. this is not how she wants him, or anyone else, to see her. ever. weak and emotionally wrecked. it's not a pretty picture, and he shouldn't have to deal with this kind of bullshit from her, he puts up with enough already.]

[If Ichigo knew that that's what she was thinking, he would have to resist the urge to laugh just a little bit. Because there was no way they were ever going to have that picture perfect movie confession... granted, he never thought he would be the one to take the plunge at all, but that's beside the point.

This time, he hears the way she tries to choke back that sob, and it makes it all the more difficult to be patient in waiting for Ryuuko to concede and let him up. It's not that he is calm, cool or collected, Ichigo is just absolutely sure in what he needs to do right now, and also highly aware that forcing her to his whim because of his desperation to do it isn't fair to her. Not when she is upset. He may be brash, rude and seem all around like he gives no fucks... but that's the front he has worked so hard to maintain. Ichigo is fully capable of empathy, and right now he is filled to the fucking top with it.

There is nothing weak about Ryuuko Matoi, in his eyes, even as she cries against his back.

When she moves, Ichigo pushes himself up to sit, adjusting so that he is facing her, and the look he gives her is filled with nothing but love. Granted, he is frowning hard, but that's pretty much a given when you need to comfort the person who just went so far out of their comfort zone that almost nothing can pull them back in to it.

All Ichigo can do is hope that he is what can. His hand comes up to find her cheek, but he doesn't make her look up. He lets Ryuuko keep her head bowed, because if that helps her deal, who is he to stop that? One thumb brushes over her cheek, brushes some of those tears away, before it drops and finds her shoulder. At the same time, he brings his other hand up to the other side, and winds the fingers on both of them to wind into her shirt.

Ryuuko will find herself being pulled into his lap and pressed into his chest, those strong arms wrapping around her in a tight embrace that aims to shield her from anything that could ever come their way. Ichigo tips his head in, lips finding the top of her head in a kiss that is meant to reassure her. He doesn't pull back too far, just enough to say what he has to say, before they return to their spot.]

I've got you, Ryuuko.

[It's firm, and a promise. That he isn't going anywhere, ever, unless she asks it of him. And even then, he might have to fight it. Because he does fucking love this girl, and now that the flood gate has been opened finally, he can't go back. There is nowhere he would rather be, than on this rooftop with her in his arms, the feeling of blood dripping off of them and his heart pounding so hard he can feel it in his head.]

[ she's so fucking terrified of every microscopic uncertainty at this point that when his palm slides in to cradle against her cheek, she nearly flinches. she's not ready to face those bottomless brown eyes, not when she has no idea what to even expect from him, at this point. Ryuuko holds her breath, stilling in his hold as her body tries to anticipate his next move. needless to say, she's not prepared for him to jerk her body over to him by her clothing, gasping as she's suddenly dragged into his lap and cushioned up against his broad chest. the feeling of his arms as they surround her feel less like a trap, as hers had, instead bracing her lithe trembling frame like a protective shield.

nothing about this feels forced. not a thing. he's simply holding her up, when she'd failed to do it herself.

his voice rings loud in her ears, and her heart throbs so harshly it fucking hurts.

"I've got you".

that notion, that he could so easily and so willingly take on the role of her entire support system without her even asking him to- it stirs a depth of emotion in her she didn't think herself capable of. and all at once, her own flood gates burst open like a dam that's suffered the brunt of those coursing currents of trapped emotions all on it's own for far, far too long. she can't hold them back anymore, tears spilling out in full force as she buries her face into his chest. body shuddering against him. it doesn't matter anymore, how stupid she'd felt. Ichigo dove right in and completely obliterated all of those meaningless insecurities in one fell swoop. there's no point in hiding, anymore. not from him. so she doesn't. she let's it all out, hands grasping desperately at his shirt as she shakes and cries in what can only be described as relief. all that baggage, all that time wasted convincing herself she'd never have something like this.

Ichigo Kurosaki just proved Ryuuko Matoi wrong, and she couldn't be happier about it, for once.]

[That Ryuuko has this kind of reaction at all, to being told that someone loves her is both heartbreaking and infuriating to him. Ichigo comes with his own baggage, for sure, but it's not the kind that leaves him thinking that he doesn't deserve this. To be loved and wanted. How bad does it have to be, have to have been, for this to be the only way Ryuuko can deal with those three words? How low does the girl he loves have to feel to be sobbing into his chest like this, just because he told her how he felt?

Ichigo tightens his hold around Ryuuko a little bit more, inwardly swearing that he's gonna fucking break crush the things that make her feel badly, about herself, about everything. He's going to fix it, and protect it with his life once it's all glued back together.

He is content to sit there and hold her as long as she needs, and Ichigo does it without saying anything... at least for a while. A few minutes pass by and he realizes that fuck. It's hard, to just be a bystander while someone completely breaks down, and the need to reassure her, comfort her, anything he can is just. Too fucking strong for him to not try. Maybe it'll make it worse, but the words are pushing themselves out of his mouth before he can stop himself.

One would think that this would turn him into a blushing wreck like everything else does, but this is just. Too serious, and too true for him to be flustered or embarrassed by it this time. It's not often that Ichigo can state something of this nature with complete utter confidence, but this time, it's not even remotely difficult.]

I fucking love you. I really do.

[patience is a virtue, and while not exactly something either of them is particularly known for possessing very much of, it's still a grave necessity when it comes to times like these. waiting out the brunt of the storm as Ryuuko falls to pieces in his lap. thankfully, he already seems to know just what to do, never once pressuring her in the slightest but instead only seeking to ease that emotional strain she's been shouldering on her own for so long now, but isn't forced to anymore. he just holds her, accepting everything she unloads unto him without the slightest bit of resistance. it means more to her than he'll ever know, because she hasn't the slightest clue how to express that gratitude toward him for just. being him.

her tears don't seem to be letting up any time soon, which is why, when his voice breaks through the chorus of quiet, uncharacteristic whimpers as she stumbles through her own breathing, it's a welcome change. but it's what he actually says that really drives the moment all the way home.

he loves her. he fucking loves her. really.

those words are more powerful than anything she's ever felt before. and it's just enough to scoop her back up from the bottom of the pit, drawing her back into the reality of his loving embrace as her arms slowly encircle his waist and the pads of her fingers press into the muscles in his back.]

..... Thank you, Ichigo. [her appreciation for his absolute everything in this moment cannot possibly remain unspoken.] I-I think, I get it, now.

[gradually, the sobbing begins to ebb, and he's left holding onto this small, increasingly vulnerable girl as she nudges her way further into his warm embrace. her chest heaves, and her breaths are uneven as she fights to regulate them back to normal.]

This whole time, I didn't know it, b-but... it's love. it's always been love, with you...!

[hands pawing at his clothing she grasps him so tightly her bones nearly creak from the immense pressure. there's nothing in this whole wide world she'd ever trade for this moment, the moment she finally faced her fears, and his, and crushed them head on. together.]

ryuuko matoi | klk | ota.

round two, fight also... starting with 1.

bonus points if they manage to run through all the numbers.

dude... challenge accepted. I raise my play with 3

BEHOLD the power of 2

this isn't over. this is the part of the fight where they talk for 20 minutes for build up

winners never sleep. 7!!!

we've chipped away at the easy ones. It's only uphill from here. 4!

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10ish, for the fixing the damage he caused

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WHAM BAM SHAZAM. FIVE.

FACK

is a literal typing corpse rn

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level 9 acheivement: unlocked.