Kingdom of Norway (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
storebror) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2020-05-23 09:05 am
storebror) wrote in bakerstreet2020-05-23 09:05 am
Entry tags:
1. How drunk are you?
2. Oh no, you two are dating again?
3. We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill.
4. We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
5. You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
2. Oh no, you two are dating again?
3. We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill.
4. We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
5. You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
1. I want to get drunk and not have to watch somebody else's tragedy.
2. How you run into a glass door three times in a row I do not know.
3. I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single person?
4. When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
5. or text him?
2. How you run into a glass door three times in a row I do not know.
3. I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single person?
4. When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
5. or text him?
1. Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
2. Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
3. Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
4. i just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
5. The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with blond hair, wears 2 belts, and might have a mako addiction.
6. Text her!
[Continuations below. ]
2. Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
3. Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
4. i just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
5. The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with blond hair, wears 2 belts, and might have a mako addiction.
6. Text her!
[Continuations below. ]
1: I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
2: I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
3: Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
4: Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
5: Text her
2: I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
3: Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
4: Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
5: Text her
01. I mean, if I want to light myself on fire for maximum accuracy, I figure that's on me.
02. I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my wyvern. Can you come over?
03. Hah! More like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
04. I watched a 50 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical. And no, I haven't smoked anything.
05. I need you there. I need someone to glance at when Count Gloucester talks.
06. [ text him! ]
02. I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my wyvern. Can you come over?
03. Hah! More like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
04. I watched a 50 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical. And no, I haven't smoked anything.
05. I need you there. I need someone to glance at when Count Gloucester talks.
06. [ text him! ]
[ mincing gloucester ]
Thanks, Felix.
Of course, you do realize that you can't cut up everyone you dislike.
[ even men like Count Gloucester who, well. diplomacy stops that thought right there. ]
Sooo it might be healthy to find a different means of satisfaction.
Thanks, Felix.
Of course, you do realize that you can't cut up everyone you dislike.
[ even men like Count Gloucester who, well. diplomacy stops that thought right there. ]
Sooo it might be healthy to find a different means of satisfaction.
( voice testing! apologies in advance. )
1. This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
2. He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I can't get you off. I will try harder.
3. The next time your friends jump off the balcony, could you please ask them not to land in my garden?
4. Moral of the story. I'm going to stab everyone.
5. Text her!
1. This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
2. He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I can't get you off. I will try harder.
3. The next time your friends jump off the balcony, could you please ask them not to land in my garden?
4. Moral of the story. I'm going to stab everyone.
5. Text her!
[ from here. ]
I still think they milked the tragic ex-boyfriend angle. Not to mention, more love triangles than you can really keep track of! I thought we were watching action-packed high fantasy, not a soap opera.
Anyway, if we're on that track, I'm more of a fan of his childhood sweetheart. She has more... spunk!
I still think they milked the tragic ex-boyfriend angle. Not to mention, more love triangles than you can really keep track of! I thought we were watching action-packed high fantasy, not a soap opera.
Anyway, if we're on that track, I'm more of a fan of his childhood sweetheart. She has more... spunk!
1. I just remember being in the jingshi alone cussing out the bunny.
2. Why did I wake up with a corpse in my bed? Is it from the mingshi?
3. And I laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause I wanted a bunny.
4. I've never whistled with balls in my mouth.
5. There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
... or text him! Misfires and other shenanigans also welcome. If you want a specific canonpoint, let me know.
2. Why did I wake up with a corpse in my bed? Is it from the mingshi?
3. And I laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause I wanted a bunny.
4. I've never whistled with balls in my mouth.
5. There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
... or text him! Misfires and other shenanigans also welcome. If you want a specific canonpoint, let me know.
That's true! If I didn't have my shijie looking after me, who knows what kind of trouble I'd get into?
1. Come find me please? I'm in a ditch under the moon.
2. Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
3. The paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
4. I just ran into my boss at the liquor store. We didn't exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
5. Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Had to spend an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times.
2. Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
3. The paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
4. I just ran into my boss at the liquor store. We didn't exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
5. Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Had to spend an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times.
Hm, might take a while to get there. if its. the moon.
1. I woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor. Apparently I made an indoor snowman.
2. Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
3. There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
4. A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the travel brochure.
5. I found him. He was sleeping in the closet and said he was camping.
2. Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
3. There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
4. A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the travel brochure.
5. I found him. He was sleeping in the closet and said he was camping.
[From here]
I'm fairly sure they didn't use swords for survival in those times. Bows for hunting, daggers for cutting things, probably, but swords?
I don't think they're going to make us hunt for our own food anyway though, so I doubt a bow or anything else besides a knife is going to be necessary.
Maybe a hatchet for firewood but I think someone who is responsible should be handling that and probably not anyone of the people who want to, as you say, be swinging a sword around.
I'm fairly sure they didn't use swords for survival in those times. Bows for hunting, daggers for cutting things, probably, but swords?
I don't think they're going to make us hunt for our own food anyway though, so I doubt a bow or anything else besides a knife is going to be necessary.
Maybe a hatchet for firewood but I think someone who is responsible should be handling that and probably not anyone of the people who want to, as you say, be swinging a sword around.
[ original thread here ]
1. I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
2. I have only been here for a week and might have contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
3. So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
4. I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
5. [ text her, s5 spoilers ]
1. I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
2. I have only been here for a week and might have contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
3. So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
4. I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
5. [ text her, s5 spoilers ]
1. you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
2. Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
3. I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely like always.
4. Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
5. Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
6. Text him!
2. Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
3. I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely like always.
4. Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
5. Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
6. Text him!
1. I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
2. How you ran into a glass door three times in a row I do not know.
3. I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to him.
4.Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
5. Text him
2. How you ran into a glass door three times in a row I do not know.
3. I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to him.
4.Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
5. Text him
1. It was all-mother mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating tramplers
2. we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were a baby and that we were presenting you to all-mother
3. How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a bow at ur head?
4. Did we actually play with spears last night or did I dream that?
5. Text him!
2. we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were a baby and that we were presenting you to all-mother
3. How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a bow at ur head?
4. Did we actually play with spears last night or did I dream that?
5. Text him!
1 - Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
2 - People don't tend to bother you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face.
3 - Everything I own smells like cup noodles and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
4 - You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
5 - [Text him!]
2 - People don't tend to bother you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face.
3 - Everything I own smells like cup noodles and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
4 - You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
5 - [Text him!]
1. It's official we're now working from home permanently.
2. I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me.
3. But we have bathrooms and they dont.
4. Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered .
5. Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
2. I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me.
3. But we have bathrooms and they dont.
4. Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered .
5. Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Edited 2020-05-23 08:38 (UTC)
Well, you can be intelligent and mature while also being pretty terrible with feelings. Trust me, I'm walking proof.
...too much alchohol generally leads to poor impulsive decisions, though.
Are you doing alright now?
...too much alchohol generally leads to poor impulsive decisions, though.
Are you doing alright now?
1) The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
2) I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him.
3) the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
4) Everyone was literally king fu fighting
2) I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him.
3) the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
4) Everyone was literally king fu fighting
[cont. from here]
[he'd still rather not be involved, thanks]
Most people prefer the person who fucked up telling them themselves.
You could text her if you don't want to tell her personally.
[he'd still rather not be involved, thanks]
Most people prefer the person who fucked up telling them themselves.
You could text her if you don't want to tell her personally.
01. I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
02. My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. He's always like that.
03. I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me. I don’t have a dog.
04. Text her!
[new threads as well as continuations welcome!]
02. My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. He's always like that.
03. I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me. I don’t have a dog.
04. Text her!
[new threads as well as continuations welcome!]
a. Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
b. Barton's wearing a thong. Get over here and put a dollar in it.
c. If I'm still alive at 80, I demand to be declared a medical miracle.
d. [wild card]
b. Barton's wearing a thong. Get over here and put a dollar in it.
c. If I'm still alive at 80, I demand to be declared a medical miracle.
d. [wild card]
I sure hope he did.
Hate for it to be a commentary on the pay.
Colonel Rhodes, I am shocked!
He's asking what you want.
Hate for it to be a commentary on the pay.
Colonel Rhodes, I am shocked!
He's asking what you want.
1. But we have bathrooms and they don't
2. There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
3. Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
4. Dude I just woke up with a cat sleeping on me. I don't have a cat.
2. There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
3. Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
4. Dude I just woke up with a cat sleeping on me. I don't have a cat.
1 and assuming some obvious phone-use-and-literacy AUing
outoftheloup
- 2020-05-24 03:08 (UTC) - Expand1. Please explain why my bedroom floor is covered in Jello cups???
2. You just hissed at a Slinky for ten minutes because you thought it was a snake. You need to sleep
3. YOU DON’T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT DIE AND THEN NOT ANSWER!!!
4. Open!
2. You just hissed at a Slinky for ten minutes because you thought it was a snake. You need to sleep
3. YOU DON’T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT DIE AND THEN NOT ANSWER!!!
4. Open!
1. i feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
2. why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
3. i thought this boy told me to choke him, so i went all in. turns out he really said "stroke."
4. i felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. yes, they quieted down.
5. im gonna end my night with a six pack and awful erotica
6. I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something
7. Misfire? Text him?
2. why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
3. i thought this boy told me to choke him, so i went all in. turns out he really said "stroke."
4. i felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. yes, they quieted down.
5. im gonna end my night with a six pack and awful erotica
6. I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something
7. Misfire? Text him?
1. remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my pants
2. here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
3. I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
4. let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
5. misfire! text!
2. here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
3. I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
4. let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
5. misfire! text!
01. I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the goods.
02. Are you hungover?
03. I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
04. I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you.
05. My life is far too together for someone who's such a hot mess inside.
06. Text her! Misfires & assumed cr welcome ♥1. Did you know that if you have sex in an elevator on the way up people can still get in?
2. I had to jump out of the car while it was moving
enough said
3. my being single is dangerous...
4. I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ!
5. text him! [ open to previous and new threads! ]
2. I had to jump out of the car while it was moving
enough said
3. my being single is dangerous...
4. I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ!
5. text him! [ open to previous and new threads! ]
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