bakerstreet | gen text

[ ah, so it's his turn to roll his eyes at the mention of tinder. while sena busies himself with it, declan takes a moment to close out of his email entirely and shut down his computer. apparently he isn't going to get much work done tonight, but he can always come in early. ]

My focus is work and my responsibilities. What I need comes secondary. Someone willing to smash me when everything is turned on its head is a luxury, not a necessity. [ a wince, and: ] To me, that is. Everyone has different needs.

[ he feels like he might've struck a nerve, which he should be rejoicing about, but in reality it feels kind of... bad. maybe he's still drunk. ]

Okay, look. I know you're probably thinking that I'm just saying this because I just did a line of coke, but as I demonstrated earlier by not falling to my death, I'm completely in control of my thoughts and my actions. [ it's debatable, but he will not be debating it. ] I heard what you said earlier, telling me I could eat pizza. Is it like that? Because I can't fucking eat pizza even if you say I can have pizza. So even though I think you can have sex — specifically with me, because I would only want the best for you — you really, like... can't have sex? Because you have other shit going on? Or you think it's just bad for you?

[ give him a moment, that was almost sweet. despite knowing sena is capable of it, declan is still pretty sure it has something to do with the coke. ]

Something like that. I enjoy the loss of control too much and it's too easy to fall into if I start. It isn't good for me. [ it was easier when he was younger, when he didn't have as many responsibilities. he still wouldn't trade them for the world, though. ] I appreciate you having my best interests in mind, though. That's sweet of you.

[ as if he was going to let that go. ]

[ 100% coke-related side effect. garbage personality will return as scheduled by tomorrow morning. ]

Are you secretly Christian Grey? Do you have a red room of sexual perversion? Can I sign a contract so you'll accidentally fall in love with me after realizing how great my ass is? [ maybe his personality is back sooner than scheduled. ] You're welcome. Don't get used to it, dumbass. Have you ever killed anyone before?

[ somehow the garbage personality is easier to digest. must be how late it is. ]

No, I don't have a red room of sexual perversion and I've already realized how great your ass is without that side effect. You've lucked out. [ excuse him while he laughs. ] I haven't killed anyone and don't really have plans to. Should I be concerned about you killing someone?

I was just wondering. Since you said the loss of control is bad for you.

[ it's going to nag at him until he can see for himself what that looks like. he rolls slightly, propping himself up on one elbow. it's a good question, and the answer is probably yes, but not on purpose. he looks at the scrape on his hand, the blood having dried over. ]

The only thing you should be concerned about is one day finding me in your kitchen raiding your fridge because you owe me dinner. Men are so unreliable these days. [ he heaves out a sigh, sinking down to rest his chin in the crook of his elbow. ] You must have some big fucking responsibilities.

I told you we could talk about it, so it's fine if you ask.

[ it's a bit distracting, watching sena look at his palm. he thinks of how he toppled over earlier and frowns. his office is quieter now without the hum of his computer. ]

Did you hurt yourself earlier? [ he's not really expecting him to be honest with him about it, but he's trying. looking at the clock on his desk, he hums. ] Would you settle for meeting me on the sidewalk outside of that building? I'll bring you your pepper and cilantro, but you'll have to take the sweet potato they come with. It's non-negotiable even if you throw it out later.

You're really good at giving halfway answers.

[ he shrugs, waggling his fingers in front of the camera to show off the scrape. ]

It's nothing. [ he's going to wrap it up before he sees declan. there's no reason to take chances with this. ] If this is another apology gift, then yeah. I accept. Don't try to argue. You have a lot to apologize for.

[ and then, because he can't help pushing his luck — ]

Tell me a secret. Just one.

It isn't a topic that comes up often.

[ standing up to put his jacket on, he stoops to look at sena's palm, trying to remember if he still has band-aids somewhere in his briefcase. if he does, it's likely they'll be cartoon themed courtesy of cleo. ]

I still owe you a round of applause, so I suppose I could apologize for that at the very least.

[ a secret is a tall order, though. gathering his things, he glances at the camera briefly. ]

A small one or a big one? Since I have so much to apologize for, it's only fitting you choose.

[ he keeps band-aids stuffed in various pockets of different jackets, just in case of things like this. he tends to be accident prone when he's not sober, which is the majority of his time these days. ]

Good. You're learning. [ he's hoping declan will be able to catch on a little quicker that he is always right. it's a gift. he stretches out on his stomach, lazily watching him pull on his jacket. ] Since it's only the first of many, I'll take a small one this time. I might even consider giving you one back in return. Lucky fucker.

[ he laughs again, this time much quieter. sena is bound to be right about him owing him apologies every now and then. humoring him sometimes isn't the end of the world. he picks up his briefcase and then his phone, careful not to jostle it too much in case sena gets motion sickness or something. he doesn't know him well enough to gauge that. ]

A small one, then. [ he flips off the lights in his office on his way out, looking back at his phone once he does. ] I have a daughter, so please consider knocking instead of breaking into my home.

[ clearly, one of them doesn't know the meaning of small. sena stays put, waiting for a "hey just kidding" that he knows isn't going to come because declan isn't the "hey just kidding" type of asshole. ]

You're... a DILF?

[ he props himself up again, because he feels like he needs to be more upright to digest this information. a child. a daughter. it's normal, really, for people to have children, but the sudden realization that not everyone in the world is looking to snort their life away is just... a lot. right now. for him. ]

Was she on purpose? [ it seems better to ask that than to ask if she was a mistake. or maybe they're both rude. he hasn't given family a positive thought since the only person he ever had ditched him. family is a scam, as far as he's concerned. ] Do you like her?

[ listen, he'd like to think nothing will really come from the knowledge he has a daughter. considering it's common knowledge in both his professional and social circles, it hasn't been a problem before and he thinks of it as a small secret in the scope of things.

declan is definitely giving sena a strange look now, though. he doesn't know whether to laugh or be offended. since he isn't too terribly concerned and sena's been blunt the entire time he's talked with him, he chooses the former. ]

Yes, she was on purpose. Yes, I like her. [ it takes him a moment to decide how to phrase things, locking up his office to give himself time. ] Her mother isn't in the picture anymore, so I'm raising her myself. I did mention I have responsibilities.

[ this is mindblowing. maybe he's just really high right now, but he's pretty sure he's still going to be in shock tomorrow. ]

So she's the reason you don't let yourself do stuff. [ it all starts clicking into place, because a loss of control is an issue if you've gotta feed your kid and tuck them in at night. does he read stories to her? he seems like the type.

and because he's him — ]

Where the hell's her mom?

[ he has to catch himself, because it comes out a little too aggressive, and he has no reason to be towards someone he's never met. she could very well be dead. he thinks of delphi again, and though he never called her mom, that's the closest thing to what she was. he has no doubt she's still alive out there, and he wonders if she ever thinks about him, and if she does, he hopes she fucking chokes. in the same breath he hopes she'll come back for him and tell him she wants him after all.

he sits up properly, running a hand through his hair and then going through his pockets, passing over the coke even though he really wants another hit, and finally fishing out a wide bandage. it's just enough to wrap once around his scrape. ]

Can't believe you're a fucking DILF.

She's too important.

[ looking once more at the screen, he tries to get a read on sena and what's going through his head. it's nearly impossible, in all honestly. despite being practically unflappable, declan hasn't been able to peg him down since they started talking. he's not sure what to think of the sudden aggressiveness, but it does make him stumble a bit, tact harder the later it gets. he doesn't hold any ill will for cleo's mother, never has.

he switches to the front camera, giving sena a view of the dim and empty hallway instead of an awkward one of himself. he'll change it back later, likely once he's out of the building. ]

She's living her life. It was too much for her to handle after Cleo was born. [ which feels strange to say. normally he leaves it be after saying she isn't in the picture, but he can't imagine sena would be that invested if there wasn't something on his own end. he doesn't know what it is, but he's not about to dismiss it. ]

If you keep calling me a DILF, I'll get a complex.

[ living her life. what does that mean? is that what delphi is doing right now? did she leave because he was too much to handle? he thinks back on his childhood with her, all the training and all the fights, but there were good moments, too. at least he thought there were. they were good together. weren't they? or did she always look at him and wish she could be rid of him?

declan's next comment pulls him out of his thoughts, and he scoffs as he stands, holding up his phone as he ruffles a hand through his hair. once he's pleased with his appearance, he heads for the exit, making his way down the stairwell. ]

If you don't want to be called that, then stop being one, dumbass. Get uglier.

[ he exits on the sixth floor where party-goers still populate the area, going to the bar and ordering three shots of tequila that he downs in rapid succession. it only does so much to erase the sour taste in his mouth that comes from thinking of delphi. he casts a wistful glance at the table of hors d'oeuvres before he keeps going, slipping through the crowd as he makes his way to the lobby. ]

So. [ he pushes the elevator button repeatedly, an agitated look on his face. ] How old is Cleo? Is she like a baby or what?

[ even without the camera pointed at him, declan is sure sena could hear his laugh if he really listened for it, brief as it is. he doesn't expect him to hear much at all, though, not with the rate he's adding on to his mimosa count with that tequila. it's worrying, but he's trying not to force that on sena. it isn't as if he needs to field fussing on top of everything else he has going on. he's also not really under the impression he'd tolerate it.

usually he'd take the stairs, but considering he's trying not to give sena motion sickness, he opts for the elevator, waiting patiently in comparison. ]

She's seven, so she hasn't quite stopped believing the world is full of magic.

[ stepping into the elevator, he flips the camera around again, straightening the collar of his jacket once he does with what fingers he can afford while still holding his briefcase. truth be told, he tries not to think of cleo's mother beyond what's necessary, tries not to involve her. she made herself perfectly clear and he thinks things probably worked out for the best.

he clears his throat, he steps out of the elevator and crosses the lobby. ]

Why a pepper and cilantro?

[ a seven-year-old. it's like... having a dog, he guesses. a medium-sized one. that talks. ]

I assume you're gonna keep that big fucking lie alive for her as long as you can.

[ declan comes back into view, still completely put-together in comparison to how sena is pretty sure he's going to hurl soon, too many different drinks sloshing around in his stomach and little to no food to absorb any of it. he resumes mashing the elevator button until the door finally opens. ]

They're highly nutritious and low in calories. [ he's more focused on the promise of the sweet potato, equal parts excited to get it and disgusted that he wants it. the elevator is lined with mirrors, and sena feels around for his sunglasses so he doesn't have to look at how bloodshot his eyes are starting to get. everything is already blurry; it might as well be dark, too. ] You got like ten minutes before I call an Uber to pass out in.

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