the sex hotline meme

[riyuji]

the sex hotline meme

1. Post as your character with their name and series on the subject.
2. Reply to others with your character calling their character's hotline or vice versa.
3. React as you see fit.
4. ???
5. PROFIT.

Comments

Lucifel | El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron

[ex_disenchantment539]

rinoa heartilly | ffviii

[ex_pirouetted330]

xigbar (au) | kingdom hearts

[ex_witchiest447]

Sebastian Michaelis | Kuroshitsuji

[xthecorvus]

Jim Moriarty | BBC Sherlock

[moriarty_hi]

Eleventh Doctor | Doctor Who

[aintno_grave]

[Awkward times ahoy!]

Bayonetta | Bayonetta

[theurgetoherbal]

Rachel Berry ☆ | Glee

[broadwaybound]

[lostwithoutmyblogger]

[It's for a case. It really is. There's a man with a habit of serious theft and embezzlement and the occasional murder of a sex line worker or two, and Sherlock needs more information on him, so he's been sitting in this dreadful cubicle all night, every night for a week, headset on, entertaining himself with making deductions about the idiots panting in his ear, growling the occasional 'yes, fuck,' back at them. Occasionally giving in to the desire to eviscerate them emotionally and make them cry.

He actually has a few masochists who request him, now, but he keeps the calls short. The more clients he answers, the more likelihood of getting his deranged killer on the line.

When a new number comes through, he's on his good behaviour, picking up the line and greeting him with a borrowed softness in his voice. Geared very specifically to appeal to the man he's hunting, of course.]

Good evening.

AU!Merlin ☆ BBC'S MERLIN ☆ OTA

[imbue]

setsuna f. seiei ⚔ gundam 00 ⚔ open

[ex_reforms251]

Edgar Roni Figaro | Final Fantasy VI

[edgar_roni]

[Sex hotline? Well...]

Lucifer | Supernatural

[ridessam]

Alice | Alice in Wonderland (Wonderland-resident AU)

[eatmedrinkme]

Baiken | Guilty Gear

[sliceoflife]

[moriarty_hi]

[To be honest, he was tickled pink when he heard Sherlock Holmes was working as a phone sex operator. An hour after Sherlock had started, he was already briefed on Sherlock's case and, by the second hour of Sherlock's first day, the man he was looking, waiting for, was dead. In fact, he had been in the middle of dialing the number when the poisoned tea took hold of him.

James Moriarty: waster of people's lives and time.]

Uh... h-hello.

[lostwithoutmyblogger]

[He isn't expecting it, obviously, why would Jim Moriarty be calling a sex line? So Sherlock doesn't place the voice right away.]

Mm, you sound so nervous.

[A throaty chuckle. Much more assertive, sort of luring. He can be powerfully convincing when he wants to be. Keeping the shy ones on the line means using the tone that makes people want to smile and give him whatever they have in their pockets.]

Marquise Spinneret Mindfang ♏ Homestuck

[octet]

mildly sry

[executor]

Girl get out of here you are going to give someone herpes through the telephonic device.

omg,,,

[octet]

8ugger off. Is exile so 8oring that you must repeatedly call this line in attempts to hackle me? I'm not sure what you are expecting to accomplish with these phone convers8tions. You are aware that when you input your credit card, it automatically 8egan charging you 8y the minute? If anything, you are providing me with 8usiness where I do not have to do anything.

Or, if you managed to forget, I only work for the suicide hotline on Tuesdays, though 8efore you inquire, yes, everything will remain a8solutely a8ysmal for you.

[ at what part of her rambling did you hang up darkleer ]

i have a feeling this might be a tid bit terrible.

[taming]

[Yes, he wants this sweet piece of ass.]

sO, dO I HAVE TO PAY FULL PRICE FOR THIS BUSINESS OR DO I GET A DISCOUNT?

so8s quietly,,,

[octet]

I always give a discount for 8ig horns.

[ W8 a minute. ]

No. Full price. I will not cheapen myself, even for you. 8esides, I'm sure you were just going to use the money to 'feed your 8easts', which 8y the way, is a questiona8le way to say buying 8ucket porn.

;)

[executor]

[you ain't getting off that easy ho]

Are you genuinely inquiring if being imprisoned in a mountain cave is boring? I believe you are. And it is. Your shrill voice is the light of my bleak existence. By taking your time I consider myself a protector of the other poor souls you might be giving hearing aids.

Also oh my goodness you silly bloated whore what am I going to spend that on anyway. The answer is nothing because, as I may have mentioned in passing before, I have been banished to a cave.

You should buy yourself a lovely little cannon or something. From me to you.

[octet]

8ite your tongue. I imagine the reason you really call me is 8ecause you can't stand to 8e without me for so long. While I am flattered 8y your advances, I would sooner extermin8 myself 8efore spending more time with you than is a8solutely necessary.

Also, there is practically nothing I could accomplish with a miniature cannon. I'll, however, 8e so kind as to 8uy one and send it to you. It can 8e the only thing to willingly 8low you.

Re: Marquise Spinneret Mindfang ♏ Homestuck

[troll_mary]

[I swear, she is going to hate me forever for this.]