𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒍

[dispairages]

The Kissing Scars Meme

Despite the romanticism surrounding the emotion, it can be difficult to be loved completely — not just the beautiful parts of us, but also the sad parts, the injured parts, the hidden and less-than-pleasant parts. There are marks on us, both physical and mental, that we'd often rather forget. The mental ones can just be easier to hide. As for physical scars, they can be off of our minds some of the time, but that's exceedingly hard to do in more intimate, close moments. Whether it's to your dismay or otherwise, your partner is not looking away and ignoring your scars. To the contrary, they're providing attention in a way most heavily associated with tenderness: kissing. It may be an accidental slip off target, or they may be trying to show you that what you've done and who you've been don't matter to them now. Does the gesture touch you? Make the walls come up once again because of the memories that are dredged from somewhere you'd rather no go? A mixture of both? The wound has long closed, yet the pains remains; these days, however, there's someone who may be willing to help you bear it. Reply with the usual: canon, character, preferences, et al. You may also want to say if you're down for smut or not, since it's not a given. Be sure to include what side you'd like your character to play. Mention if you can do both the kisser and the kissed. Also, feel free to talk about your character's scars. Reply to others.

Comments

[cranelike]

(The last battle hadn't gone well at all. Unable to make out the enemy's formation, they'd ended up in over their heads and paying the price. Ichigo had been critically injured and had to be carried back. He wasn't the only one but he was the one Tsurumaru had helped tend to, throwing his cloak over Ichigo's back while someone else carried him. Tsurumaru had been tasked with carrying one of the wakizashi instead. Everyone had thought Tsurumaru's gesture had been out of consideration for Ichigo's modesty but they hadn't seen what Tsurumaru had.

The moment the enemy's blade slashed through Ichigo's back, bringing him down and cutting at his clothes revealing a glimpse of something he knew no one else was allowed to see... He'd immediately thrown his cloak off and charged at the enemy. He wonders how much Ichigo will remember from the battle. It wouldn't do for him to wake up in a panic about his secret.

Safe at the citadel, Ichigo had been tended to by the saniwa, Yagen, and Hakusan-- the only ones really allowed to see Ichigo in times like this. He'd never thought about it much before. It made sense for their master and the two spirits in charge of the medic's room to take over but now even that had more meaning. Now, while Ichigo was resting in bed, was the first time when Tsurumaru was really able to think about it. He'd spent so much time with his own recovery (much more mild than some of the others) and reassuring Ichigo's brothers that things would be fine. He was good at that-- cheering others up.

Sitting next to Ichigo, he begins to run a piece of string through a crane from a pile next to him. He might also be humming softly next to him, doing what little he can to keep any nightmares away.)

[oncealifetime]

[Ichigo can’t remember much of the battle. All he remembers is being ambushed and not being quick enough to respond to the enemy coming at him from behind, striking him critically in the back. Then he fell, overcome with pain, unable to move, blood gushing from the deep slash on his back as he soon lost consciousness. But not before seeing something white floating down towards him, enveloping him and strangely comforting...

Then for the next few days, everything happened in a feverish haze. He recalls hearing his brothers’ voices, probably Yagen and Hakusan, as they usually tended to him whenever he returned injured. He kind of remembers being moved, a dull stinging sensation as his wounds were cleaned and bandaged, and perhaps being fed some sort of soup or broth. But most of his time was spent sleeping and trying to recover his strength.

When he finally feels strong enough to stay conscious for more than a few seconds, he vaguely hears humming. That voice sounds kind of familiar... then his eyes focus on a familiar figure dressed in white with white hair...

Weakly, he whispers...]

... Tsuru... maru...?

[And somehow this feels strangely familiar - Tsurumaru being the first person he sees as he awakened. It reminds him of when he’d awakened at the Imperial Collection so long ago, feeling just as weak and seeing an almost angelic figure in white....]

[cranelike]

(The humming stops and Tsurumaru shifts, scooting over on his knees to see if he'd really heard what he though. Perhaps adding more to how familiar this whole scene is, it ends with Tsurumaru peering over Ichigo, bright gold eyes looking down at him curiously and face perhaps a little too close because what is the concept of personal space,,)

What a surprise, you're finally awake!

(And he before Ichigo can try to get up or anything like that, he reaches over him to fix the covers of the blanket over him, making a point to tuck him in. There's no tricks or shenanigans involved-- he's genuinely trying to make sure Ichigo is comfortable and stays rested before he hurts himself. It's always fun and games until someone gets hurt... then it isn't fun anymore.

He speaks softly, voice light and caring as he tends to Ichigo,)

Everyone will be glad. How are you feeling? Thirsty?

(Hungry? Hurting? Does he need to get anything? Tsurumaru is never one to really lose his calm and even though he speaks calmly, anyone who knows him will know he doesn't have to lose his cool to fret over someone.)

[oncealifetime]

[Ichigo blinks slowly, his brow creasing lightly, as he tries to focus on Tsurumaru’s way-too-close face. Yes, this does feel very much like back then, but he’s too tired and weak right now to think too much about that.

He lets Tsurumaru tuck him in and attempts a little smile. In a hoarse whisper, he manages to say...]

Thirsty... and hungry...

[His back still hurts, but it’s nothing he can’t tolerate.]

[cranelike]

(Hungry and thirsty. Tsurumaru listens and nods, brushing some of the hair from Ichigo's eyes and patting his cheek lightly.)

Wait here. (And he laughs a little because... it's not like Ichigo is really going to go anywhere but still!!) I'll be back soon.

(And he's up on his feet, dashing off down the hallway to grab some things from the kitchen. Some tea from the refrigerator, an apple, and a little bit of bread left over from someone's run to the convenience store earlier in the evening. Hmm, were they going to eat this Hokkaido cheesecake bread for breakfast tomorrow? Well, it's Ichigo's now. It's not much but something fast and easy to grab and even easier to eat would be best. When Ichigo is better, they can dig through the kitchen for something more filling.

Tsurumaru returns a couple of minutes later, his hurried footsteps signaling his arrival. He's back at Ichigo's side, setting the tray down gracefully and kneeling down to help Ichigo sit up,)

Careful, Ichi... (And he's careful not to touch Ichigo's back more than he needs to. His own touch is delicate, his fingers lightly touching Ichigo's back and shoulders,) If you need to lay down, let me know.

(It's not really unusual for Tsurumaru to be gentle and caring in times like this but for someone who is usually mischievous and silly, it's definitely a change in demeanor for him. It's not bad, hopefully, just... different.)

[oncealifetime]

[Ichigo nods with a tiny smile, then he closes his eyes once more to rest some more as Tsurumaru goes to get him something to eat and drink.

He’s not sure how much time has past before Tsurumaru comes back. Was he gone only a little while or longer than that? He can’t really tell as his mind is still so hazy from the pain of his injuries and the medicines he’s been given to dull that pain and to keep infection at bay.

He lets Tsurumaru help him up, and nods again, not really having the strength to make much small talk. He does manage to stay in a sitting position for now without much discomfort though.

And once again, a small part of his mind registers how nostalgic and strangely comforting this feels - Tsurumaru being so gentle and caring, tending to him so patiently. Like that time so long ago when he’d awakened in a strange place feeling weak, scared and confused, with no memory of anything at all.

Somehow, this makes him feel that everything will be all right because Tsurumaru is here.]

[cranelike]

(With Ichigo sitting up now, he props of his pillow behind him and sits closer so he can catch him or let him down gently if he has to. He starts with the tea first, raising a cup to Ichigo's mouth slowly,)

Drink.

(And he careful not to let too much spill. He also watches Ichigo for any sign that anything might be difficult-- sitting, swallowing, anything at all. When he's finished, he folds the end of his sleeve over his fingers and moves to wipe at Ichigo's face,)

Will you look at me?

(So he can actually see how much focus Ichigo has in his eyes. )

Tell me if you need anything.

(He can definitely go to get help.)

[oncealifetime]

[Ichigo leans over to carefully sip at the tea. His throat is a little sore but he doesn’t have any trouble swallowing, and is still able to sit up for now.

When Tsurumaru tells him to look at him, he does and is able to focus on him for a while, before his focus starts to drift a bit. His attention snaps back when Tsurumaru speaks up again. Ichigo shakes his head a bit as he attempts a little smile.]

... just need food for now.

[cranelike]

(Even if it isn't much, it's an effort that Tsurumaru can appreciate and he pats Ichigo's cheek gently. Don't try too hard, Ichigo. It's important that he relaxes so he can regain his strength.

Setting the tea cup down, he starts with the bread! Something soft and easier to eat.)

Let's try some real food, then.

(With his fingers, he breaks off just a small piece. The bread is light and airy enough that it'll probably dissolve and in Ichigo's mouth and be easy to swallow but it's still a good idea to not do too much. He holds it up to Ichigo's lips-- a sweet bread that smells lightly of cheesecake...)

Something sweet.

[oncealifetime]

[Ichigo nods silently with a little smile and waits for Tsurumaru to get the bread.]

... sounds good.

[Then he leans over a bit to carefully take the bite of bread from his fingers, his lips delicately brushing against Tsurumaru’s fingers. He sits back to chew the bread, but soon finds that it isn’t really necessary as it has already mostly dissolved, so all he needs to do is swallow.

Upon receiving that small morsel of food, Ichigo’s stomach growls for more...!]

[cranelike]

(He tries to hold back a laugh but what comes out is still a soft chuckle,)

Right, right, you don't have to say it.

(And even if it takes a while, even if he has to stay all evening into night, he patiently sits next to Ichigo, taking care of him, making sure he's able to eat his share. Every now and then, he slips in some conversation; mostly one sided, not expecting Ichigo to say much.

There are little updates about what his brothers have done. They did their chores, they cleaned their room, Maeda and Oodenta taught Hakusan how to help make something for dinner the other day. It was a shame Ichigo had to miss it but he's certain that once Ichigo is better, they'll make it for him again.

Once in awhile, he slips in some tea for Ichigo and when there's no more bread or Ichigo has had enough, he settles back again,)

Better?

[oncealifetime]

[Ichigo listens quietly with a little smile, with the occasional nod and soft hum of acknowledgement at everything Tsurumaru tells him while he’s slowly fed the bread, bite by bite.

After a few more sips of tea, he tries to hold the cup himself. He clutches it tightly in both hands as he lifts it to his lips with the slightest tremble. Other than that, he does feel a little stronger and is full for now.

He give Tsurumaru another nod.]

Yes. Thank you.

[He does kind of wish he could bathe or at least change his clothes though as he did sweat quite a bit in his sleep. But he doubts he’ll be strong enough to do so on his own and... he doesn’t want to bother Tsurumaru with that as it’s embarrassing. But most importantly, he’s ashamed of the scars on his back.

It’s fine. He’ll just ask one of his brothers to help him when they come to check on him.

However, just as he’s setting his teacup down, his hold on it falters and he spills the remaining tea all over himself...!]

[cranelike]

(It feels like he looked away just for a second to rearrange something on the tray when he hears the splash of tea spilling. He's quick to turn his attention back to Ichigo and without even thinking, he's rolling his sleeve over his hand and dabbing at Ichigo, removing the cup and trying to wipe up as much as he can.)

Ah, Ichi...

(He sighs but there's no judgement. He pushes the blankets aside and really, there isn't much he can do right now with what he has,)

We'll have to get you changed... (It would be easier than trying to dry off the clothes or waiting for it to dry. But that's when he starts to think about how Ichigo's been in bed for so long and--) You probably want to bathe.

(It's almost like he read Ichigo's mind earlier and he looks at Ichigo, wondering what his answer might be to that.)

[oncealifetime]

... I’m sorry... [Ichigo looks away in shame and stays still as Tsurumaru wipes him.

Then he looks up quickly and a little frantically at the suggestion of changing his clothes and bathing, his cheeks turning quite pink.] Ahh! I should but.... but I don’t want to be a bother to you. I’ll just ask my brothers to assist me later... you-you don’t need to... [As he says so, he subconsciously reaches up to put a hand over his shoulder, lightly touching the start of the scarring on his back.]

[cranelike]

(Well, that's definitely a reaction and Tsurumaru stops what he's doing for a moment to watch Ichigo. He really watches him, gold eyes taking in the way he looks away, the flush on his cheeks, and when he touches his shoulder...

He understands.)

It isn't a bother.

(And now it's his turn to look away. He lowers his head, feeling a little guilty. Everyone has their secrets, including himself, and he tries to respect that but in the moment, he'd learned Ichigo's without permission....)

Do you remember the battle, Ichi? Before you were struck?

(To give Ichigo some space, he sits back, his back straight and head down to look at the hands folded neatly in his lap as he recounts the last moments,)

We were attacked suddenly from behind and I happened to turn just as you were hit.

(...)

I was behind you, Ichi. I saw the blade slice into your back. (And it was then that he saw what he thought were scars.) I made sure no one else would see...

(He'd thrown his cloak over him to hide the scars from everyone else. He still saw the scars, though.)

... I'm sorry.

(He never meant to learn Ichigo's secret.)