The Cursed Presents Meme

[hateshumans]

THE CURSED GIFT MEME



It’s that time of year again. The time to give gifts, the time to receive them...the spirit of love, joy, and generosity is in the air. Everyone gets caught up in it in one way or another. Not all gifts are very nice, though. Someone might make you brownies while you’re on a diet, or you’ll get a gift card to someplace you’ve never even heard of. And then there are these gifts, the gifts so horrible no one should ever give them...

But for some reason? You just received one. Good luck with that, and try to survive the holidays!

Rules:
1. Post your character and list any preferences you have
2. Use a random number generator to pick a scenario (1 - 5) and a gift (1 - 20) to decide what you’re getting! Or...
3. ...Wait for someone to reply and just plot it out. Go nuts!
4. Play nice and have fun. Respect people’s preferences and all that.
5. Consider rule 5 a trigger warning? Some of this stuff might be uncomfortable.


Scenarios:

1. Someone is upset with you, and they either sent you the gift or delivered it personally. You know who the gift is from, though!
2. The cursed gift is anonymous. It’s just a package left on your doorstep, or maybe it was already on your table? Creepy...but friendly! What could possibly go wrong?
3. The gift wasn’t mean for you. Maybe you were supposed to deliver it yourself or it just ended up in the wrong hands...either way, you’re using it.
4. You bought it for yourself/yourselves! There are some strange things on Ebay, right? And there’s nothing wrong with spoiling yourself once in a while.
5. You found it! Finders keepers, losers...are probably better off. Who can resist free?
6. Make your own!

Cursed Gift:

1. Perfume/Cologne: Some people just want to be irresistible, don’t they? Whoever uses this gift will find that they’re suddenly just that. Only...it might not work well at all. You might only attract animals, or you might attract the opposite of your desired gender. Or maybe even worse, it will work on everyone...too much of a good thing, right?
2. Lingerie: Oh, these look nice. Silky and black, or maybe they’re lacey and red? Either way, someone probably wants you to wear them...and it might not be your special someone. Wearing the gift (or maybe just touching it for too long) will make you fall head over heels for the person who gave them to you...even if you hated them before, even if they’re disgusting. At least you’ll be happy about it?
3. Dollhouse: You’re never too old to play with dolls! It’s even more fun collecting them, and you’re just about to get another one: You! You could end up any kind of doll; porcelain, plastic, rag...you’re about to have plenty of time on your hands. Maybe someone will play with you?
4. Board game: This one seems normal...at first. What’s this card, though? Go to jail? Well, here come the police, and they just found that body you hid. Oh, this space says “In the jungle, you must wait, until the dice read 5 or 8.” Better hope everyone keeps playing, because in this game, reality warps to match what the cards and spaces tell you they do!
5. Rings: Diamonds a girl’s best friend, and they look pretty fly on your guy, too. Once you slip your new ring on, you won’t be taking it off ever again. Why would you want to? As an added bonus, you’re now linked to whoever wears the other ring! You can feel what they’re feeling, hear what they’re thinking, see what they’re seeing...don’t get too close, though. You might end up as one...permanently.
6. Cutlery: Everyone can use a good knife every now and then. For cooking, right? Right. Except when you pick up one of these knives, you start feeling extremely angry...extremely violent...they just have to pay for what they’ve done to you, right? Or maybe you’ll take it out on the next person you see...
7. Leather collar: Well, getting gifts for your pet is certainly...normal. Who’s to judge? Only, when you pick up this collar, you have the strangest feeling that it’s for you instead. Wearing it will make you completely submissive. Maybe you’ll gain a tail or two, or maybe you’ll wake up the next morning as an alligator. In every scenario, though, you’re no longer a person. You’re a pet. Enjoy it.
8. Flash Drive: For the computer geek or student in your family! Just use it once, and all of your memories will be nicely stored on it. Good luck getting them off! Funny how some things only work once, huh? Maybe someone can get them off for you, or maybe they’re all gone for good. Hopefully, you can trust the next person you see...
9. Camera: Perfect for a party! Everyone needs to upload these to Facebook, pronto. Only...this camera...was there a sixth person in this picture before? Whoever uses this camera will start seeing things they shouldn’t. Are they ghosts or illusions? They seem to want you to join them...better be careful, because you’re more accident prone than before, too.
10. Toy soldiers: Everyone loves the nutcracker! ...Or maybe not. How about those little green army men? Or those action figures? Play with one of these, and you’ll finally have a perfectly sculpted body...of plastic! Complete with a duty to serve whoever owns you, these toys are perfect for those who don’t want to play with the dollhouse.
11. Cigars: For the more refined gentlemen and madames on your Christmas list! Except...how odd, these seem to be handed out more often to the younger audience. No matter. Whoever smokes one of these cigars will find themselves aging. Maybe they’ll gain a few years of weight, or lose twenty years of their life. It will show, though. Hopefully, being young was fun for you!
12. Pacifier: Haha, what a mature gift. Instead of growing older like the cigar, you’re suddenly growing younger just for touching the thing. You won’t become an infant (not unless you want to, at least) but you could become a young adult, a kid, a teenager...you might not want to try driving anytime soon.
13. Down Pillow: It’s so soft! It’s firm, too, somehow...just perfect for anyone. Why would you (yawn) ever want to sleep with anything else? For that matter...why would you ever want to wake up? (Yawn) Sleeping is just...too perfect...wake me never...
14. Red Wine: Everyone needs a drink, especially during the holiday season. It’s a bit strange-tasting, though...and isn’t that a bit too off-color? This gift is perfect for the blood-lovers, because there’s a bit of blood in that glass you just drank. Enjoy the new fangs and the bloodlust, and try to hold onto your sanity. Some might say this is the best gift of all...!
15. Voodoo Doll: Now, this is a cute doll! Don’t worry, you’re not going to be played with. Just try to keep this doll in a safe place. I wouldn’t throw it away if I were you. Ouch! Your cat’s fangs are certainly painful, aren’t they? Only, the cat is biting the doll, not you. ...Wait! No, Fluffy, no! Don’t throw the doll into the fire! Can you be trusted with your own fate?
16. Monkey’s paw: Your wishes will all come true, your wishes will all come true~! This thing may be gross, but that million dollars you wished for? Congratulations, you just had someone give you a million dollars...as a result of a money laundering scheme. Enjoy prison. You want to be fit and have people look at you? You might just “wake up” as a mannequin. All of your wishes will go horribly wrong, even the innocent ones.
17. Genie’s lamp: It’s all about the wishes, isn’t it? Only...this lamp is empty. Oh well, guess whoever rubs this lamp will have to take care of that. People who receive this gift will become genies/djinn and serve their masters as best they can...and then the next master...and the master after that...won’t anyone free you?
18. Wind Chimes: These are lovely. They make the sweetest sound when the wind jingles them just right...it’s a good thing, because it’s always stormy out. It’s much safer inside, you’ll start to realize. Hanging up these wind chimes will make you never want to leave your house again. You can tell what the weather’s like just from opening your window and looking...right at those chimes...
19. Scarf: Hasn’t it been extra snowy lately? This gift is extremely thoughtful! Wearing something like this will make the cold feel like nothing to you. And...it will make everything else feel like nothing, too. Your sense of taste and smell will slowly vanish, as will your ability to feel temperature or things you pick up with your own hands. Soon, you won’t be angry or sad, either...but that’s alright. Just let me know--is the coffee hot? Or is it cold?
20. Marionette: An old puppet doesn’t make for the greatest gift, but it will certainly keep things lively...because it’s alive! It moves when you aren’t looking, and sometimes? It moves when you are. It won’t be long before it’s chasing you, trying to kill you, or turning you into a puppet like himself...puppets are never lonely when they come in a pair.
21. Make your own! There are plenty of awful gifts out there, right?

Comments

Natalia L.K. Lanvaldear | Tales of the Abyss

[starofmalkuth]

Edgar Roni Figaro | Final Fantasy VI

[edgar_roni]

it's just been too long since I tagged you with something marginally not stupid

[lockpick]

[Locke honestly, honestly didn't know the relic was cursed when he handed it over.]

[Okay, sure, there were all sorts of stories about the remote cache he'd found it in. Abandoned long ago after the War of the Magi, guarded by a great and terrible and ravenous sandworm. People in nearby towns still spread superstitious stories about strange happenings and odd noises coming from the mountains, warnings about travelers and treasure hunters who had never returned from their depths. ...Pretty standard fare as far as legends go, all in all. It wasn't actually nearly that exciting, just steeply walled and shot through with long a network of underground passages. (Dug, no doubt, by the sandworms of the stories.) Most of those who vanished likely got lost in the labyrinth. Locke was too good for that.]

[And when he waltzed into Figaro castle unannounced for the first time in months, (past the guard, past the court, right into Edgar's workshop, because where else would he be this time of night?) he was pretty eager to brag about it. Briskly, and by way of greeting as he interrupts whatever Edgar's working on and shoulders off his bag:]

You could have at least left the door open for me. Here, I brought you a souvenir.

[And apparently trusting Edgar to catch the priceless and ancient artifact, he tosses it over. A gold ring set with a huge and faceted sand ruby. It bore a crest with a vaguely Figirian, (Figaroan? Figirese?) look to it. But it was very, very old.]

((I dunno. Terrible misfortune? Turned into a literal son of a submariner sandworm overnight? Inflicts unfortunate status effects until you fight in 255 random encounters with it on? Go ahead and rng or pick some kind of curse and roll with it, otherwise I will take one of Jessa and Red's suggestions.))

mstislav | oc

[allthesisters]

Owen Harper // Torchwood // OTA

[owenbloodyharper]

Celes Chere | Final Fantasy VI | OTA

[operasoldier]

21, I hope you don't mind! :D

[aria_di_celes]

[She's not sure where the large mirror on the wall came from, but from the moment she looked into it, she felt a strange sensation, like she was being watched- or that she was spying on someone else.

Shrugging it off, she turned away from the mirror, but when she turned back, she noticed that the image looking back at her was no longer mirroring her movements exactly. The mirror had become a door, and on the other side was a room that was the mirror image of the one she was in, and another person who looked just like her.]

...Hello?

Violet Parr | The Incredibles | ota

[bubblegirl]

Kain Highwind | Final Fantasy IV / Dissidia 012

[dragoon_pride]

[Preferences: 4, 7, 9, 13, 14, 15, 16, 19, 20]

Cyuss Warren | Star Ocean: First Departure

[stripedbiceps]

[ooc; No 12 or 13]

17!

[bloodybishie]

Prince was just visiting his old friend for the holidays. After all, on Christmas eve, it was good to check in. However, on his friend's doorstep, Prince found an odd package. It was pretty heavy, and rattled when the elf picked it up. Curious though he was, the gift was obviously meant for Cyuss, so Prince tucked it under his arm before he knocked.

"Hey! You in?" He could be out, it was a good night to do so... But they had planned to meet up first. Though... Cyuss could have forgotten. After all, it was doubtful he was completely sober.

Dextera | Baroque

[requiemofsin]

2-3!!!! Because... because. We can't stop, can we.

[spilledmilk]

[It was strange to begin with. The Cherub had wandered to the Archangel's chamber, holding a box and clearly confused. It hadn't known where it'd gotten the box, just that it was to be given to him. A... gift, of sorts? The Archangel figured at first that it must have been from Dextera - he was the only one capable of reaching this depth of the Neuro Tower, and he did do strange things from time to time.

But when he'd taken the box, dismissed the Cherub, and opened his "gift," what he found inside was even stranger - a tiny and detailed doll of himself. It couldn't be more than five or six inches high and looked startlingly lifelike, though it seemed to be made of fabric and stuffing over a wire frame. He turned it over in his hands, frowning and wondering where in the world such a thing came from.

He didn't get a chance to wonder long, as a sudden dizzy spell overtook him, and he blacked out.

The Archangel vanished, and the doll fell, hitting the consciousness orb and transferring through. Outside the Neuro Tower, the doll appeared by the large orbs in the ground, lying just where the Archangel normally sent his projection to speak with Dextera before he entered the tower...]

Morrigan Aensland | Darkstalkers | OTA

[darknessillusion]

((Preferred: 1, 2, 4, 7, and 14 -- but I'll gladly play out anything! ♥))

14!

[savarin]

Merry Christmas, Morri! Here, I think you'll like this! Cost me all my Rings for the month, but for you it's worth it!

[He hands over a cylindrical present, wrapped with pawprint paper; inside is a bottle of deep red wine resting in a cardboard tube. The label reads "Sangreal."]

Best stuff they had. Wouldn't even show it to me until I offered more rings.

Minako Aino | Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon | OTA

[noticemylove]

Jungo Torii | Devil Survivor 2

[fish_or_die]

Terra Branford | Final Fantasy VI

[ethereal_earth]

Bilbo Baggins | The Hobbit | OTA

[tooksidewon]

Claire Bennet ✿ Heroes ✿ OPEN

[healerclaire]

Hermione Granger | Harry Potter | OPEN

[brainboxgranger]

Charlotte Aulin | Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin | OTA

[sometimesanowl]

Vyers || Disgaea

[beautifulrondo]

((And on a second glance of that list, I'm going to have to ask for no 4, 9, 13, or 14 x.x))

2-3

[demonic_superiority]

[Yasurl left the anonymous gift near the already growing pile of wedding gifts for the King and his new human wife. She knew he wouldn't get to them during the wedding, especially considering just how huge that pile was (thank you brown nosers), but one day, even if it was years later, she knew he'd eventually open it, especially since she had a tracking device on it. All she had to do was to wait and see.]

Hild || Ah! My Goddess!

[hells_ceo]

3-19

[beautifulrondo]

[Krichevskoy stands in the meeting hall waiting for Hild, occasionally glancing down at the package in his hands confusedly. When she finally comes in, he looks relieved and offers her the box.]

Ah, there you are. My apologies for coming so suddenly, but for some strange reason this arrived on my doorstep despite being addressed to you. [he has a feeling it has something to do with how many times she comes to visit] Did you order this?

Lily Potter | Harry Potter | ota~

[weirdoe]

Sakata Gintoki | Gintama

[pachintoki]

[i rolled 5-13 but feel free to roll your own]

Kotomine Kirei | Fate/Whatever | OTA

[seeyousuffer]

Olivia Dunham | Fringe

[twintimelines]

Marluxia | Kingdom Hearts | OTA

[eleventh_hour]

((OOC: Am *mostly* interested in seeing him get his come-uppance from castmates, but will happily be the gifter or gifted to for non-castmates. May be a paaaaainfully slow tagger. Open to smut or non-smut, but please let me know which. Not interested in age related prompts, but anything else is fine.))

/unleashes the savage teal deer horde

[firewheeling]

It's a breathtakingly daring move, honestly--even Axel could laugh at his own sheer audacity. Waltzing right into the very heart of enemy territory to lay a trap? There's no going back, now. This is it: if this doesn't work, chances are, he's history. He's going to have to go all-out and wager everything he has on one insane tactic.

Axel may delude himself early and often, but in terms of strategy, he's a realist, and makes no bones about his own limitations and weaknesses--in a toe-to-toe fight against both Marluxia and Larxene? He only stands a very slim chance of coming out on top. Winning by a significant margin without being irrevocably cut down himself? The odds of that are even worse. He's no slouch on the battlefield himself, but the two of them are strong, too strong to not handle with due caution and respect. Strong, and competent, and crafty--the problem is that they're both so good at what they do. Marluxia is certainly the more cunning of the two of them, so it's him that Axel has chosen to focus on, to stack the deck as far in his favor as he can manage.

.....Or, well..... That, and other reasons.

Surely Marluxia has noticed? The unusual satisfaction Axel seems to be taking in their new headquarters, the near lack of his typical snarking when listening to Marluxia as opposed to suffering through Saïx and Xemnas, the glances that linger just a little too long, the way he watches Marluxia when he 'thinks' he's not being watched in return..... Oh, yes, Axel likes him. Not in such a simplistic way as such signs of mere attraction to physical sensuality would suggest--he won't deny that Marluxia is appealing that way, but then again, few in the Organization aren't--, but as a person. As a burning ember of pure potential, being unfairly cast aside and doused before its time. As a mind, strong and sharp and scintillating as any diamond, so very much crying out to be plucked from the rough and polished to perfection.

Axel recognizes the signs. All of them. And he knows--oh, how he knows--the incredible power of such potential finesse lost to careless brute force, such a restless spirit caged and crushed, left to die a slow death of neglect inch by pathetic inch. Given enough time, trees can devour fences and crumble mountains--and put under too much pressure, fires explode into a lethal inferno, that consumes all that stands in its path. It takes one to truly know one, after all; the Organization is a fool down to a man, if they've all really been so blind and complacent as to overlook Marluxia like this.

Thank Darkness for their Moogle friend. He can't trust anyone in the Organization as far as he can throw them, anymore--even Saïx, as much as it pains him to admit it--, but when it comes to matters of business and profit, he can be certain that the Moogle will remain completely confidential.

So Axel leaves his jewelry box nestled right in one of the gaps of a trellis, cradled by the tangle of roses growing there. It proves to be a simple gift, once the box is opened--a slim black leather collar, soft and supple and buttery-smooth against bare skin. There's some tastefully subte decoration as well, a simple rose and vine pattern etched into the leather that leaves no doubts as to who the gift is for..... but the design is difficult to see, without taking the collar out of the box and holding it up in better light to inspect. There's not even any note to go with it.....

Such craftsmanship is expensive, but undoubtedly worth it; Marluxia can consider it a token of esteem that Axel is willing to take such pains for him. Once the bait is set, Axel is quick to make himself scarce, lurking elsewhere in the castle to watch and wait; to set a trap in enemy territory is dangerous business, but to linger in it is so foolhardy that you deserve anything you get.

Cloud Strife | Final Fantasy VII | OTA!

[fashionablylate]

For repliers who want to roll and would like a prompt to go off of: Cloud was just going over the grocery list he'd been given for the holiday one last time. It wasn't too long, but some of these things... What were they going to do with a pineapple? Not watching where he was going as he mulled this over he accidentally bumped into someone, list dropping to the ground.

"Ah- sorry." That was completely his bad. Oops. He looked up to make sure the other person was OK at least.


5-14 roll prompt for everyone else: Finding a bottle of red wine leaning against a building, Cloud had picked it up as a conscientious citizen. No need to litter, right? Rather than finding the nearest trash can to toss it into though he decided to take it with him, noticing the bottle was unopened. It'd be a nice addition to the festiveness of the season.

Or that's what he had been thinking. Getting home he'd harmlessly decided to have a quick taste test and that's where things went wrong. In a sort of Jekyll & Hyde way even. Dropping the bottle with a crash he grabbed his head. His teeth hurt, but more importantly his head hurt. Something was... wrong!

The feeling lasted for all of the two minutes it took him to stumble back outside onto the street. By then he could feel his canines pricking his bottom lip and a sudden thirst was overtaking him. He really. Really. Needed a drink. Holding his head wandering down the street he went to go find one. Or more likely bump into one with how he wasn't looking where he was going.

[bestest_ladle]

Meeth hadn't been out to get a gift for Cloud. In fact, she didn't buy many gifts at all because she tended to make them, but this winter she'd made an exception because Latov and Aleria needed a new kitchen knife! And it hadn't been too hard to knock the seller down to a decent price.

That was when she ran into the tall Clavat. "Ow! Hey, watch your steppie!" she snapped, glaring upwards before her eyes widened. "Wow, you don't look too goodie... hitting the eggnog early, are we?"