bakerstreet | (no subject)

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The Baby Meme

The Rules
❥ It's simple. Post with your character with their name and series in the comment title.
❥ People reply to you or you reply to them.
❥ Whoever they are, congratulations! You two now have a ~~crying~~ ~~bawling~~ ~~wailing~~ bundle of joy of your very own. Whether it be biological or you decided to adopt, whatever the case, you are now parents...
❥ ...Good luck!

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[Groaning, she turns around, facing Tony but making no motion whatsoever to get out of bed.]

Not greek. I was speaking the ancient language of all new mothers. Roughly translated it means, "I pushed that kid out of me and now my boobs are sore all the time, so don't you dare try to skimp on your turns."

Are they? I could massage them for you. I have a very light touch.

That got us into this in the first place.

[She kicks him again.]

Go get her. And bring the sash thing.

[Ow. He makes all sorts of protesting noises even while he rolls out of bed and goes to get her and the 'sash thing'.

It's dark and he's totally not using himself as a flashlight when he comes back and sits down on the bed with her and the requested item.] Why do you need the sash thing?

[Pepper reaches out to take the baby, rocking her slightly.]

I’m teaching you something. First, reassure me again that the reactor in your, you know,human chest isn’t going to give our daughter brain cancer or something. That would be some insanely bad parenting.

[He hands their daughter to her, taking the moment now free of the baby to rub his eyes and get his legs back under the covers, before twisting to look over at the pair of them.]

It's not going to give her 'brain cancer'. It doesn't hurt me, it's fine for her. I got it, Pep. [By that he means he realised one day when she was coming home from the hospital in a couple of weeks that it might, and he did a bunch of tests and didn't sleep for a day or two until he was sure it was all totally safe and everything.] If anything, I mean, she's gonna be a genius who can organise the hell out of whatever you put in front of her.

[Pepper smiled. Well...Pepper made a less tired face that could be interpreted as a smile, if you spoke new mom.]

Or she’ll be a very big fan of blowing things up and will be able to expertly hide all the evidence.

Take off your shirt.

I would have loved that combination. In a kid that's gonna be tricky.

[He complies, because he doesn't really need a reason, but still doesn't really get what's happening here and looks back at her when he's finished.] Does it complement my bling?

Yeah. A baby's the newest accessory. All the billionaire playboys are getting them.

[She hands the sash over.]

Put that on and then swaddle her against your chest. The contact keeps newborns from freaking out over everything so much.

Most of the billionaire playboys already have some.

[This is the most complicated completely not-complicated little thing, but it doesn't take long to figure out and he gets her situated slightly off-center and a little sideways pretty easily - because while it won't hurt her, it still juts out a little and that might be uncomfortable. He twists from side to side.]

That's not bad.

You can figure out robots and babies. Never let it be said you aren't a man of many talents.

[She sinks back against the pillow, closing her eyes.]

We've got to settle on a name, Tony.

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