bakerstreet | what's love got to do with it

Entry tags:

[meme] shipping

what's love got to do with it

Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable.

The Fake Relationship Meme

You're not together. But you need to make people think you are. Because of reasons.

Maybe you secretly can't stand each other. Maybe you like each other, just not like that. (Or do you?) Maybe this is the only way you'll ever get to be with your crush. Maybe you just need to give off that couple vibe in public, or maybe you're going to be forced to engage in some hot'n'heavy fakeout makeouts. For reasons, okay?

You know the drill. Post, tag, profit.

Home For The Holidays ⇢ You need to prove to your parents that you do so have a significant other. Just until they're gone.
No Singles Need Apply ⇢ The place is perfect, but the landlady will only rent it to a nice, respectable couple.
It's Not Safe For A Woman Alone ⇢ One of you is vulnerable in this big, bad world without a partner to protect you.
Public Relations ⇢ There's only one way to stop these pesky rumors: start your own.
Undercover Mission ⇢ They'll never suspect a couple of lovey-dovey honeymooners of... whatever it is you're actually up to.
Marriage Of Convenience ⇢ It's good for both your families. Or your finances. Or your hetero street cred. Whatever: might as well make the best of it.
Well That Escalated Quickly ⇢ It's common knowledge that you're together, except you're the last to know. Is it worth correcting people?
Free Space ⇢ Bring your own ~~bottle~~ scenario.

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"He might be. He seems like a guy who would want to handle this himself." Carol watched the shematics flip from one disturbing weapon to the next. When another flashed on the board, she took a sip of the bubbly drink and added, "I've seen that gun before. That's the kind the Kree had."

"Oh, that's the new one!" another guest exclaimed. Which meant that Elias must've sold the Kree these recently. That was good to know.

His eyes narrowed a little at that exclamation, he'd already known that he didn't like these people and that just made him like them even less, and he didn't think that he actually managed to make that not show on his face.

To his credit, he didn't turn that expression on any of them, and managed to school his expression to something more neutral and even interested a moment later, "I don't see how any of these are going to be useful to us." He commented, just loudly enough to be heard, realizing that they hadn't really discussed an exit strategy, though that was likely because they hadn't expected to be locked in a communications-jammed bunker, either.

Yeah, they're completely surrounded by people that make her skin crawl. People who are most likely profiting off of others both in shady dealings and possibly working them to the bone. Hopefully Poe will be up for grabbing a strong drink after all of this is over.

Carol pursed her lips together once he commented and cocked her head to the side. It was a smart way to get themselves out here, though she was still prepared to blast through the ceiling if necessary. "You're right. I don't think any of this is quite going to work for us." She held up her hand with the device, acting like an entitled brat who needed to return her item.

As Elias was speaking with one of the other buyers, one of the attendants appeared, looking puzzled, "Is there a problem with your chit?" Poe shook his head, "No, but there's nothing on offer that we actually need, we're ready to go back to the party."

The attendant looked stricken for a moment, but rallied with a smile, "I'm sure Elias and the sellers will be sorry to hear that you won't be bidding, but you will have to wait for the auction to conclude before returning upstairs, just for everyone's safety. I'm sure you understand." The smile broadened, and Poe felt decidedly uneasy, "But hold onto the chit, in case you change your mind."

Carol furrowed her brow and gestured towards the lift, doing her best impression of being an entitled rich person. "Last I checked, those things can go both ways. I don't think these people are in any danger if we go up."

She knew that it wasn't going to be easy to leave, but she didn't anticipate this much resistance.

The smile didn't change, but it was putting Poe just a little more on edge and he wasn't entirely sure why, which just made it worse, and before he could back Carol up, the attendant reiterated, "For everyone's safety, you wouldn't want anyone here to think you'd made an off-book deal, would you?"

And that was definitely some kind of trap, because it was the kind of statement that no matter how they answered it would spell trouble, either for agreeing that they would, or just sounding guilty for protesting too strongly or even for hesitating in answering.

She pursed her lips together and didn't say anything. She knew it was a trap. The only thing that mattered now was buying them a little time. So Carol gave a nod and held up her chit to show that yes, she would comply.

Obviously she would not be complying.

Once the attendant left them, though was no doubt keeping an eye on them, Carol turned to face Poe. "Okay. So do you want to make a dash for the lift or should I blast a hole in the ceiling?" she asked, her voice low so only he could hear.

He managed to keep a neutral expression, matching her tone as he answered: "Unless my measurements are off, the ceiling here is the same as the dance floor up there, and even if the lifts aren't locked, making a run for them is a real good way to get ourselves stun-grenaded at best."

He shook his head, "I don't like it, but it looks like we're going to have to wait this out."

"Stun-grenades won't take me out, but I get what you mean." Also, she wasn't really sure she wanted these people to know about her abilities until it was absolutely necessary.

Carol let out a breath and then took a sip of their drink. "Okay. So even if we wait it out, what happens then? We go back up, take a spin around the dance floor, and leave? What would we have accomplished?" She asked this plainly, trying to figure out their next play.

"You might be some kind of indestructible superwoman, but I'm still real squishy." He said in reply to the first, just shaking his head a little at the rest, "Will know aliases at least of who's purchased what, and believe me, some of these people will use their real names."

Even if they didn't get names, they'd at least have a listing of what weapons had been sold, something to put their people on the alert for. It wasn't perfect, but it was the best he had at the moment.

[I'm giving a blanket apology on how late my replies are, life kind of all came at me at once for a while there, but I'm slowly digging myself back out. If you get this more than once it only means I didn't know the same person was behind the journal]

"I'd keep you safe," she says sincerely. Carol would take the hits, bust through the walls, pretty much whatever it took to keep her new ally okay. First of all, his cause needed him. Second of all, she didn't want another casualty on her conscious.

"But okay. We sit it out. Take the best mental notes we can. But if you spot anything shady, give my hand a squeeze." Once the bidding got started, she knew that took much extended talking would look a little suspicious.

[ooc: I am now giving my own apology! I had a long work thing!]

"Once to pay attention, twice to bid." He agreed, and while he doubted that there would be anything either of their employers actually wanted or even needed, it was entirely possible there would be something better kept ahold of than let fall into someone else's hands.

"And you do the same." He added, because knowing if she was going to bid on something, or just needed him to pay better attention to something would only help them both in the end.

[ooc: No worries, clearly, I'll happily backtag to oblivion!]

"You got it. Once to pay attention, twice to bid." As they were stuck here, she took another sip of her expensive drink.

It wasn't long before Elias dramatically made his way back to the front of the group. "My friends, the time has come. We're going to start the binding on that beautiful blaster."

Carol kept her eyes on Elias but did her best to notice the other faces in the room. If someone had an interesting feature, she took a mental note. At least there would be more to report to Poe's employers.

[ooc: Woo!]

One of the reasons Poe kept getting missions like this was that he had an excellent memory for names and faces, even ones he hadn't seen in literal years. In fact, he was fairly sure that was the only reason he kept getting these jobs, since he was increasingly recognizable himself.

For the time being he kept quiet, at least until they got to the third item, one that he hadn't seen on the screens beforehand, though it might have gone past while they were trying to leave, a salvaged weapons array from an Imperial scout walker. It was the kind of thing that in the right hands could be retrofitted to any number of land vehicles and even a few light shuttlecraft.

His fingers twitched against her hand, just a single squeeze for the time being, but he was definitely paying attention now.

Feeling Poe's fingers against her hand, she refocuses her attention on the screen. She's unfamiliar with this particular kind of weapon, but she can definitely tell that it's a serious piece of equipment. Carol doesn't want the Kree fugitives to have anything like that. It would rip a Skrull village to shreds.

Elias started the bidding and the number started to creep up. It didn't go as quickly as some of the hand guns, but the number was still getting bigger. Carol wondered if the Resistance wanted it or had the credits to cover the cost.

They definitely didn't, they didn't even have enough to cover the starting bid, but Poe was keeping careful tabs on those bidding, and when it finally sold he relaxed just slightly.

It hadn't gone to First Order hands, and while the Hutts were formidable as it was, they weren't the sort to sell something like that to the First Order themselves, if the First Order would even deign to do business with them in the first place, and while it was possible that the buyer was working both sides, people didn't live long doing that kind of thing as a Hutt emissary.

The next weapon comes up on the screen and she's certain that she missed it earlier. It's Kree. Unmistakably so. She gives Poe's hand a squeeze to pay attention. It's not an incredibly high powered weapon. But Carol has never seen a Kree weapon travel this far across the universe. This goes...way deeper than they expected.

Ultimately, the same bidder grabs the Kree gun. Poe didn't seem concerned, so she won't be. But she does have a renewed interest in Elias.

His brow creased just a little, as he didn't recognize the weapon, but he paid attention all the same, and while he wasn't sure if having it in the Hutts' sticky little hands was a good thing or not, he could at least assure her that they weren't warlords, just criminals.

Which, sometimes there wasn't much difference, even in the case of the Hutts, but they had their own code that they tended to stick to regardless, it was a code that had baked-in stipulations for double-crossing, but he knew how to work with that.

She and Poe are definitely going to have a lot to talk about whenever they get out of here. Carol wants to tell him right now but she knows better than to whisper too much right now.

Another couple of guns and blasters get sold. Nothing else Kree, which eases her a little bit. By not buying anything they're tossing these covers with Elias. However, Carol is hopeful that Poe's people have spies they can send in to learn more about how this man is getting his hands on so many different kinds of weapons.

[Once again, so sorry. The world got crazy and I'm still working through it.]

After the main items of interest was the bulk auctions, shipping crates of blaster rifles or monomolecular blades and energy axes, the kind of thing that sometimes just went missing during shipments, the kind of thing that most people ordering them by the crate was used to.

Though suspicion was still on them -thanks to their attempted early exit and the lack of bidding- they were allowed along with everyone else to go back upstairs in groups, staggered along with those returning from the fighting pits so none of the non-auction partygoers got suspicious as well.

Once they were finally out of the building and Poe could open comms again, BB-8 sounded just about as frantic as Poe had expected, and it took a few moments to calm the droid down, explaining that he was on his way back, and he was bringing company. He laughed at he warbled question, shaking his head even though he knew BB-8 couldn't see it, "No, not that kind, you'll like her."

[No worries, I am clearly in the same boat these days.]

Carol was on the edge through the rest of the auction and as they went up and out of the building. She looked around subtly to make sure that nobody was following them closely enough where Poe would be overheard on his comms. She's deeply surprised that they made it out without either of them having to throw a single punch.

She smiled once she hears the beeps of the droid on the other side. She doesn't catch everything because her language transition app on her pad is still learning, but the cadence told her that the droid really cared about Poe.

"I'm excited to meet him, too," she said once he closed the channel. "And we have a lot to talk about once we're sure nobody is listening."

Poe didn't fully trust that neither of them had been stuck with a tracker, though he waited until they were a block away to actually scan for one, catching her arm lightly to pull her to a stop in front of a shuttered storefront, "Hold up, group like that, suspicious as they were, might have taken precautions."

He stepped up to the door of the shop, running his fingers along the frame, making a little noise of triumph when he found what he was looking for, tugging it free. It wasn't great, but it would do, "Place like this almost always has automatic tracker-pings on the entrances." And usually more than one, so he didn't feel bad about detaching one, even though he knew it had probably set off some kind of internal alarm, though possibly not, as it was a fairly cheap part and easily replaceable, looking like little more than a pen-light, and a small one at that.

It was the work of a moment to run it over her arms and shoulders, circling her quickly, just nodding when it didn't go off at all, "Okay, one down, now you do me." He said, handing it over.

Honestly, Carol is very impressed with his resourcefulness. She's also really glad that she didn't have to come here alone. It always paid to have someone you could trust who knew how things worked in this corner of the galaxy.

Carol took the tool from him and quickly waved it over his arms and shoulders. Then she did it over his back and a tiny ping sounded near the bottom of his jacket. It was annoying, but it made sense. It would be harder to discreetly put something on the bodice of her gown. "If you don't mind..." She reached and plucked a tiny tracker from the bottom of his jacket. Placing it on the tip of her finger, she waited for him to turn around to show it to him. "Should we crush it?"

He shook his head, "No, because then they'll know we found it. We just have to keep it moving at reasonable human walking pace, just in a different direction." Which could be difficult with no other people around, really and no animals they could stick it to.

He held a finger to his lips a moment later, listening, "You hear that?" It was, apparently, a storm drain, with water running through it from someone hosing down the walkway a half a block up, "Now we just need something that'll float, but still fit through the grating."

Carol stopped when he put a finger to his lips and listened. She nodded in agreement and immediately started looking around for something that would float. Glancing back at the door frame of the shop, she noticed some wood broken off and lying on the ground. She picked it up, snapped off part of the back and pushed the tracker firmly into the wood.

"What do you think?"

I totally get that. I look forward to seeing them if you decide!

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